


An Unexpected Love

by lizbiana



Category: Allie Novak - Fandom, Bea Smith - Fandom, Wentworth (TV), ballie - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:37:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 129,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizbiana/pseuds/lizbiana
Summary: Bea Smith finally decides to leave her husband.  She takes her daughter and moves to South Hampton, Long Island. She hires Allie Novak as her divorce attorney. The process is difficult but Allie gets her through it and in the process they find love.





	1. First Step

Bea Smith parked her car in front of a quaint cottage. The front window displayed a wooden sign that said “Allie Novak, Esq.” “This must be it” she turned to her 16 year-old daughter, Debbie. Bea’s best friend, Franky, a lawyer for one of the law firms on Long Island said that Allie Novak was one of the best divorce attorneys in New York. Bea’s anxiety started to kick in and she must have looked pale because Debbie took Bea’s hands in hers. “You are doing the right thing mom.” Bea wasn’t sure about that. Sure, she wanted to get as far away from Harry as possible but what if he comes after her or worse, Debbie. Harry is not going to take kindly to his wife demanding a divorce. “I know it is Debbie, I am just so scared of what his reaction will be. Once he is served with divorce papers, there is no going back.” “Then it is a good thing we rented a place over here” Debbie says with a smile. She’s right and it doesn’t hurt that they are in beautiful South Hampton overlooking the beach. It will be good for her and Debbie to not only be safe but to have some time to decompress.

Bea and Debbie exit the car and walk up the porch steps. Bea opens the front door slowly. Inside to her left are 4 comfortable looking chairs and a glass coffee table between them. There is a shabby chic looking credenza against the wall behind the chairs. On the walls are color photos of beautiful seascapes and sunsets. The decor was beach themed. To the right is a large wood desk in the same shabby chic style as the credenza. A pleasant looking, middle-aged woman is sitting behind it smiling. “Good morning. Do you have an appointment?” Bea clears her throat which is dry from nerves. “Yes, we are here to see Ms. Novak. My name is Bea Smith. I was scheduled for a consultation at 10.” The woman smiled and asked Bea and Debbie to have a seat. “Would either of you care for a coffee or water?” Bea declines but Debbie accepts a bottle of water. As they are waiting, Bea’s anxiety increases. What is she doing? This can only end badly for her. As she starts to tell Debbie that she has changed her mind, a door opens.

“Hi, I am Allie Novak. You must be Bea Smith” Allie extends her hand out to Bea. Bea shakes her hand and then introduces Allie to Debbie. “This is my daughter, Debbie.” Allie smiles warmly and shakes Debbie’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you both. Please come into my office.”

As Bea steps into the office she notices that it has the same beach theme. There is a warmth to it. There are several book shelf units filled with books. Seashells and other nautical knick knacks are strewn along the shelves. On the wall above Allie’s desk are framed degrees. The other walls have photos like the ones in the waiting room. It’s like the office encapsulated what she thinks Allie’s personality might be. Judging by the warmth of Allie’s smile and the warmth of her office, Bea thinks she is right.

“Please have a seat. Can I get you anything?” Bea smiles shyly, “no we are good.” “I understand you are looking to divorce your husband.” Bea nods her head. She feels very vulnerable. She knows that she is going to be asked a lot of questions, personal questions. “Do you mind me asking why?” Allie asks. Bea feels defensive suddenly. It occurs to her that she will have to tell Allie about what she has endured during the past 16 years and she is embarrassed. Allie must sense her discomfort and explains to her that although New York is a no-fault divorce state, she will have to show that she is entitled to alimony. It will also depend on whether your husband contests the divorce or not. Also, if Bea wants custody of Debbie she must be able to prove that Debbie is better off living with Bea than her husband.

Bea didn’t even think about that. He will contest the divorce. Harry will not give up control easily. He certainly will not give up custody of Debbie. She hasn’t thought this through. She wants to bolt from the office . Maybe if there isn’t much traffic they can get home just in time to have dinner on the table waiting for Harry. He will be none the wiser that his wife is trying to leave him. Debbie seeing that Bea is ready to give up before getting started, grabs her mother’s hand. Bea turns and barely looks at Debbie. She is ashamed. She is a coward. She should be doing this for her daughter and not worrying about how Harry will react. “Mom, this is going to be hard but you will get through it. Think of the alternative.” 

Allie sees that Bea is struggling and moves in front of her desk, leaning against it. “Mrs. Smith, I...” “It’s Bea,” Bea says not quite meeting Allie’s eyes. “Bea” she says softly. “I understand that you are scared. Clearly your husband has done something to make you so afraid. I can help you though.” Bea won’t look in Allie’s eyes. She knows that she will start sobbing and she wants to hold on to as much dignity as she can. “Ms. Novak...”Debbie starts. “Allie,” Allie interrupts. “Allie...my mom has been through a lot with my father. He has hurt her....badly. This was so hard for her to come to you and get help. What does she need to do to be done with him?”

Allie squats down in front of Bea putting her hand on Bea’s arm. Bea jumps a little but does not move away. Oddly, Allie’s warm hand and the tender look she is giving Bea calms her enough to listen to what Allie has to say. “Bea....we don’t have to discuss anything further today. You did the hard part. You asked for help and I am going to give it to you.” Allie looks at Bea with not only sympathy but detects an empathy that only someone who has had a similar experience can have. “Why don’t we talk tomorrow after you have had some time to process today? Do you and Debbie have a safe place to stay?” Bea nods, afraid to speak. At that moment Allie’s kindness has overwhelmed her and she feels like she is going to break down if she says anything. Debbie does the talking for her mother and Bea scolds herself for being so weak. “Yes, we are staying in a rental a few miles from here until everything is settled,” said Debbie. Looking back to Bea with her hand still on Bea’s arm, Allie says, “we will get you away from your husband. I will be with you every step of the way.” That was it, Bea’s dam broke. She starts to sob. Debbie immediately hugs her and eventually Bea finds comfort in her daughter’s arms enough to calm down. Bea rises out of her chair, “thank you Allie.” Allie smiles softly, “How about you and Debbie come by at 9am tomorrow?” Bea nods, “yes, we will be here.”Allie walks them to the door. 

After the front door is closed Allie looks at Grace, the woman behind the desk and sighs. “This one is going to be a heart breaker.” The woman frowns and nods.


	2. Settling In

Bea and Debbie head to the rental house. Feeling raw and exhausted, all Bea wants to do is crawl up in a ball and sleep but she has to get through this for Debbie. Debbie has witnessed the aftermath of the beatings Bea has endured and no child should ever have to see that kind of violence. Tears well in her eyes at the thought of how deeply Debbie will be effected as an adult. Bea had seen her mother go through the same kind of marriage and although Bea swore she would never marry someone like her father, she did. Will that be the same fate for Debbie? Suddenly Bea becomes aware that Debbie asked her a question. “I’m sorry honey, what did you say?” asks Bea. Debbie repeats the question, “what do you think of Allie?” Bea ponders for a minute. Although Bea’s anxiety level was high, she felt safe with Allie. “I like her. She is very warm and I think she will be able to help us through the divorce process. Besides, Franky would never have recommended her if she didn’t think Allie was good. What do you think?” Bea asks. “I agree with you. She seems like she really wants to help,” says Debbie.

Arriving at the house, Bea parked in the driveway. Bea and Debbie remove their bags from the trunk. The key to the house is in one of those lock boxes that hangs on the doorknob for real estate agents to use. Bea enters the combination, grabs the key and unlocks the front door. The house is beautiful inside. It’s warm and looks very comfortable. There are two bedrooms, a bathroom, living room and a kitchen with a dining area off to the side. The decor is also in a beach theme.

Debbie claims one of the bedrooms and begins unpacking. Bea heads to the other bedroom to do the same. “I’m hungry, feed me” Debbie demands. “Okay your highness, let’s go eat,” Bea laughs. “We will need to get groceries as well,” thinking about what they will need for the week. 

For lunch, they decide to eat at a seafood restaurant with a patio outside. It is such a beautiful day so they both want to sit in the sun and watch the waves on the beach. After a while Bea asks, “how are you feeling about all of this Deb?” not sure if she wants to know the answer. “I am ok, I guess. But not knowing what is going to happen scares me,” Debbie says frowning. “What baby?” Bea asks with concern. “Mostly I am worried about you. Dad has never hit me and he takes all of his anger out on you. I am scared of what he will do when he sees that we have left and even more so of when he gets the divorce papers. I’m scared that he will go too far.” Debbie says hesitantly. “Let me worry about that,” Bea says. “But, I want to be strong for you” Debbie says with tears in her eyes. Bea feels horrible. She pulls Debbie into a strong embrace and Debbie starts to sob as Bea strokes her hair. “I am sorry I have been so weak that you feel like you need to be strong for me. It’s me that should be strong for you. I am so sorry you have been a witness to all of the violence.” Bea starts crying too. “I am going to get us away from him and be strong for you. I love you so much Debbie” Bea promises. “To the moon and back?” smiles Debbie. “To the moon and back” Bea says softly. After composing themselves, Bea pays the check then they head off to get groceries for the week.

 

Allie thought about the meeting with Bea Smith and her daughter. She could tell that they had been through a lot. She could see how terrified Bea was. Harry Smith must be a piece of work. Allie hoped that she was able to soothe some of Bea’s nerves and convey that she was safe with her. Allie wouldn’t be surprised if Bea changes her mind and doesn’t show up in the morning. Often it takes several attempts before her clients go through with the divorce process. Allie doesn’t know any of the details of what has happened in the Smith house, but she is pretty sure she can guess right. Allie just hopes that Bea is ready to take her and her daughter’s life back. 

Allie Novak has been a divorce attorney for almost 10 years. She started with a firm in Manhattan known for being aggressive and getting their clients large settlements. Although she learned a lot and enjoyed the paycheck, it wasn’t in her nature to be cutthroat. She was drawn to the work more because she wanted to help women get out of abusive marriages. It was where she got the most fulfillment. She knew that a big part of the draw was that she grew up in a home where her mother, Ellen was basically held prisoner by her husband. Allie’s father controlled every aspect of her mother’s life. He beat Ellen down both physically and mentally. Although Allie’s father never hit her, it took its toll watching her mother suffer and feeling she could do nothing to stop it, Allie felt helpless. It took all of her strength to leave the house to attend college. It wasn’t too long after that her father had a heart attack. Allie hated to admit that she was happy when her father died. She believed that the violence would never have stopped and may have lead to the death of her mother. 

Allie moved back home temporarily to help her mother get on her feet. Ellen had never had a bank account, paid a bill or even had a job. The insurance Ellen received was substantial but not sustainable without working at least part-time. Ellen had no skills and would have difficulty finding a job having never been in the workforce. Although there were arguments and moments where she felt trapped, Allie and her mother had become closer and the anger she felt toward her for not leaving subsided. Allie suggested Ellen take classes to learn how to use the computer and her mother loved it. She was smart and eager to learn. Ellen gained confidence with every step she took to stand on her own. Ellen earned a certificate for proficiency in MS Office and with help from Allie, her mother created a resume. It was stark but Allie helped make it look like her mother had more to offer than the certificate. Ellen found a job working part-time in an office and loved it. She loved the freedom and Allie delighted in seeing her mother finally free to live her life. Allie encouraged her mother to go to counseling. Ellen was stubborn at first but eventually went and started shedding the hold her husband had on her even after his death. Once Allie felt confident that her mother would be okay, she went back to school and finished her degrees with honors. 

Allie had helped her mother and for that she felt proud but underneath it all she struggled. During her sophomore year of college, she struggled with coming out. She questioned her sexuality thinking it was a reaction to fear of intimacy with men. When she fell in love for the first time, she new that it had nothing to do with her past and more about her future. Unfortunately the relationship didn’t last. Allie knew she had demons she needed to face before she could experience any true intimacy and decided to get some help. It was through therapy that she worked through her anger and guilt. Anger at her father and guilt for not being able to protect her mother. She came to terms with the fact that it was not her responsibility to protect her mother and that she was just a child who had no control over what happened in her world. After years of working through the pain and mourning the loss of her childhood, she started to have healthier relationships and had finally found some peace. Sure, there were times when listening to her clients recount the abuse they suffered at the hands of their husbands brought back old feelings. But, she was able to work through those feelings without drowning in them. Her experiences had made her good at helping her clients. She had empathy and instilled a belief in the women that they COULD get through the process and come out the other side. After a few years of getting experience with the firm in Manhattan, she decided to go out on her own. Allie bought a cottage in South Hampton and started her own firm. She hired Grace shortly after and they were a good team. Grace was great with the clients and it helped that she was also a paralegal. 

Allie realized she was in another world when Grace entered her office. “Do you need anything before I leave for the night?” asked Grace. “No, thank you Grace. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night,” Allie says. 

 

Bea slept fitfully that night. Her phone kept ringing and Harry’s name lit up like a flame in the darkness. She knew there was no turning back. Listening to the first message left Bea shaking. “Bea, where the hell are you?” he demanded. “When you get home I’m going to knock you on your ass, you ungrateful bitch. Debbie better come home soon too or maybe it won’t be just you that will get a beating,” Harry growled. Bea didn’t bother to listen to the other messages. She knew what he would say and she didn’t want to panic and change her mind. She was going to see this divorce through. She owed it to Debbie. Damn it, she owed it to herself. She was so incredibly exhausted. She knew she couldn’t last much longer. Her plan was to wait until Debbie was off to college but she knew that it really wasn’t in Debbie’s best interests. Bea knew she just didn’t want to be alone with Harry and that was selfish.

Debbie walks into Bea’s room and sits on the edge of the bed. “Did the phone wake you up baby? asks Bea. “Yeah and I heard you crying. Can we shut your phone off for the night and maybe get a new number tomorrow? We can let Franky know the new number in case she needs to get a hold of us?” Debbie asks hopefully. “That’s a good idea Deb. Why don’t you stay with me tonight?” Bea asks thinking Debbie needs to know that she is there for her. “Thought you’d never ask,” Debbie grins. Bea slides over and spoons Debbie while stroking her daughters hair trying to provide some comfort. “Just don’t hog the covers.” Bea teases. “At least I don’t snore,” Debbie laughs. Bea starts laughing too and for a moment things were okay.


	3. What is the process?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie describes what Bea will have to do in order to have the divorce granted.

Bea woke up abruptly. She was in a deep sleep that when she felt Debbie’s head on her chest and at first she thought it was Harry. She almost forgot where she was and sighed in relief that she wasn’t home. Not wanting to disturb Debbie she carefully extracted herself out of the bed. It was 7:30am and Allie’s office was only 5 minutes away so there was time to cook breakfast for Debbie and herself. It was nice to cook for just the two of them. Cooking for Harry was always stressful and could end up causing her to get a beating. The food didn’t taste good, it was too cold, it wasn’t on the table at exactly the time he wanted it or it wasn’t what he was in the mood for. Something was always wrong and unless he had to rush out to be somewhere, Bea inevitably would get slapped, punched or kicked. But not today. Bea was finally doing something to change all of that. Debbie steps into the kitchen pulling Bea out of her thoughts. “What’s for breakfast? “ Debbie asks sleepily. “I thought I would make us some veggie omelets. What do you think?” Bea asks grinning. Harry hated any type of vegetable and if it didn’t have some type of meat in it he would get angry. Debbie smiled widely. “Yessss, veggie omelet!” While helping her mother chop up the vegetables Debbie asks, “what do you want to do after our appointment today?” “Well, I think we should get that new phone you suggested last night. Harry might ask one of his cop friends to track the phone by GPS. Also, it will give us some peace and quiet ... for now,” Bea sighs. “Sounds good mama. Can we go to the beach after?” Debbie asks with optimism. Bea laughs, “you know the water is freezing, right.... it’s only May.” “I know but we could walk along the beach and pick sea shells or read a book while laying on the sand. I am just not up to being cooped up in the house today,” says Debbie. Bea knows that her daughter is getting nervous about their meeting with Allie. She wonders if she should drop Debbie off at the beach and go alone. She doesn’t know how much detail about the goings on in the Smith house Allie will want to know. Bea doesn’t want Debbie to hear the details. Debbie mostly saw the aftermath of the beating, rarely the actual beating. Great, now she’s getting anxious all over again. “Focus on Debbie,” she thought. “Okay baby, we will go to the beach after but no swimming,” Bea says pretending to be stern. Debbie laughs and wraps her arms around her mother’s neck, giving her a kiss on the cheek in reply. “Breakfast is ready, let’s eat and then get ready to see Allie,” says Bea. 

They arrive at the cottage right on time. Grace greets them and offers them something to drink. Both of the Smiths decline. The front door opens just as Bea and Debbie are about to sit in the waiting area. Allie Novak is wearing a stylish business suit and a bright smile. In her hand is a tray with two Starbucks cups. Allie places one of them on Grace’s desk. “Thank you Allie,” Grace says gratefully. “Grace is not a morning person without her latte,” Allie teases. Bea smiles shyly and Debbie laughs. Grace shakes her head in agreeance. “Good morning ladies, give me a moment and I will be right with you,” Allie says while removing one arm out of her jacket. Allie walks into her office and closes the door. A few minutes later the door opens and Allie says, “come on in.” Bea and Debbie sit in front of Allie’s desk. “How did you both sleep last night?” Allie asks. “Harry called nonstop last night. I listened to the first voicemail and it was so bad that I couldn’t listen to the rest. I guess there is no turning back now,” Bea tries to make light of it but her face reflects nothing light about how she is feeling. Allie only nods. “You should probably save the message. We can use it in court,” Allie says. Bea looks at Debbie. “Mama is going to get a new phone after we leave here so he can’t have it traced and we don’t have to avoid his calls,” Debbie says. “That’s an excellent idea Debbie. The least amount of contact with your father, the easier the process will be,” Allie says. “Ok, so Bea, I am going to tell you about what NY State requires for a divorce, what I will need from you and help you prepare as well as I can for what to expect. If you have any questions throughout the process, please ask me. I am here for you. You and Debbie are my primary concern. Do you understand?” Allie asks softly. Bea feels sting of tears building in her eyes. Bea has never been the primary concern of anyone in her whole life. Allie continues on, “we will file for divorce in the Supreme Court of Suffolk County and we will have Harry personally served. We will ask for the divorce on the grounds of cruel and inhuman treatment, which means that Harry physically, mentally, sexually, verbally and/or economically abused you. Since Harry will more than likely contest the divorce and you having custody over Debbie, we will have to show the court why you are divorcing on those grounds. You will need you need to tell the judge about at least three times that he treated you cruelly and inhumanly, unless there is one thing he did that was very serious. You must say how each of your husband’s actions affected you physically, mentally or emotionally. Like did you fear for your life, need to run away from home, get medical treatment, get an order for protection, feel ashamed or humiliated? You must tell the judge when and where each act of cruelty happened with as much detail as you can remember. We will ask for ancillary support like custody of Debbie, child support, spousal support and an order of protection. I know we haven’t discussed fees yet but whoever makes less money can ask for attorney’s fees and in this case I am assuming it is you,” Allie looks at Bea for confirmation. “Yes, he makes much more money than I do. I work at a hair salon part-time. Harry is a supervisor for a construction company,” says Bea. Allie nods. “If and when your husband wants to contest the divorce, his lawyer will send a notice of appearance and also file it with the Court or you may get a notice directly from the Court that he is contesting the case...” Allie continues. “When the divorce is contested, it could take a while for it to be granted,” Allie pauses, looking for a reaction from Bea. Bea is shifting in her seat and her leg is bouncing. She is visibly stressed by the idea that she has to tell her story to a judge. It will be hard enough telling Allie, let alone a stranger who will determine her fate. Allie sees the anxiety building and tries to soothe Bea. “Look Bea, this is going to be very hard, I understand that. But you are brave and you can do this. I have had clients who said that as difficult as it was talking about what happened, it wound up being cathartic,” Allie smiles gently. Bea sees the compassion in Allie’s crystal blue eyes and wants to believe her that she can do this. She is so overwhelmed that she suddenly finds herself groggy, needing to sleep. Her limbs feel heavy and her speech is slightly slurred as if she is too tired to say the words. “I will tell you everything but I need to do it tomorrow and I don’t want Debbie here,” Bea says slowly. Allie having seen the physical toll it takes on her clients, is sympathetic. “Of course, we will do it one step at a time. I will need to talk to Debbie about what she witnessed at some point. It will help when trying to get custody. Can you come by tomorrow at the same time as today?” Allie asks. Bea really just wants to run away. She doesn’t want to go through any more. Hasn’t she gone through enough. Now she has to relive the beatings, the verbal attacks. Debbie will have to relive it too and that makes her angry. She is so tired. “Mama?” Debbie says quietly. “Sorry, yes we will be in tomorrow at 9,” she says with dread. Allie stands up, signaling that the meeting has come to an end. “How is the house you are renting?” Allie asks with curiosity. “Really comfortable and close to the beach,” says Debbie. Allie smiles approvingly. “What are you going to do for the rest of the day?” asks Allie trying to lift the mood. “We are going to relax at the beach,” Debbie says although she know that her mother probably doesn’t want to. “I hope you two can relax a little. There has to be a balance between the hard work we are about to do and rewarding yourself to some time to think about nothing and enjoy the freedom you currently have,” Allie says while looking directly at Bea. Bea nods her head and she and Debbie stand up heading for the office door. As they are all walking out Bea turns and looks at Allie and says “thank you” softly, trying to convey her sincerity. Allie looks at Bea with such tenderness when she says “thank you for letting me help you.”


	4. Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea's meeting with Allie tomorrow to talk about life with Harry. She tries to prepare herself mentally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the support I have been receiving. This writing thing is tougher than it looks. I hope everyone has a good weekend!

On the way to the store to buy a new phone, Bea and Debbie checked in with each other. “How are you feeling mama?” Debbie asks. “Today was easier than yesterday but I am really dreading tomorrow,” Bea said her face furrowed. “Debbie… I hope you are okay with me meeting with Allie alone tomorrow. It’s not that I don’t want your support but you needn’t know the details. There are things that you don’t know about that I need to tell Allie alone.” “I am mama. I know that you don’t want me to hear everything and believe me I don’t want to. I just want you to feel safe while you tell Allie and I thought me being there with you would help,” says Debbie. “I’m not sure what it is about Allie but I already feel safe with her. I don’t think she will push me to tell her everything all in one sitting. I trust that if I start to feel out of control, we will stop for the day.” “Ok, then I will find something to do. There is a cool looking used book store that I could get lost in,” Debbie says with a smile. “That sounds good, love” says Bea.

They arrive at the phone store and after buying a burner phone they head to the beach. Bea had packed a couple of towels and a book in the morning. Despite feeling like she would fall asleep standing not too long ago, she is actually looking forward to laying on the beach. She has always loved the sound of the waves hitting the shore and the smell of the salt in the air. Having grown up in the city, going to the beach was one of the few places that would give her a temporary sense of peace. When she was a teenager she and her friends would take the train to Long Island and spend the day sunning themselves, playing volleyball and sitting around a fire drinking while bitching about their parents. Those were the times that Bea felt normal. She was away from her parents fighting and the questions she would inevitably be asked at school. “Is everything okay at home? You always look so sad.” Bea hated it not just because it made her feel exposed but mostly because she couldn’t say anything. If she did, her father would make hers and her mother’s life even more miserable. Even at an early age she understood that she had to keep secrets. Her parents had made that clear over and over again. That’s probably why she never told anyone about what was happening with Harry. She knew to tell what make things worse so she endured the abuse silently. She knows that Debbie must possess that feeling too because she always acts as if everything was ok in front of other people. I don’t think even her friends know what life was like at home. Debbie has endured so much and it broke her heart every time she thought about how her experiences would affect her later in life. Bea made up her mind right then and there. She was going to take Debbie to therapy as soon as she could. Just as Allie said about her clients, Debbie expressing her feelings could be cathartic. Of course, therapy is something she needed as well but that could wait until she made things right for her daughter.

Trying to move her thoughts elsewhere she took out the burner phone and set it up. Once the phone was ready, she entered the numbers she needed into contacts. She only had a few people whose numbers she would want to keep, Franky Doyle being one of them. Bea dialed Franky’s work number, and after a few rings, Franky’s assistant answers, “Jackson Walker.” “Hi Doreen, this is Bea…is Franky available?” Bea asks. “Well hi Bea, how are you doing? Doreen asks happily. “I’m good, how is little Josh?” Doreen’s son, Josh is 18 months old and she gets excited whenever she talks about him. “He’s doing great! We should get together so you can see how big he’s gotten,” Doreen says excitedly. Bea can practically hear Doreen beaming through the phone. “I would love that. I will call you soon and we can set a time to get together” Bea says frowning. She knows that won’t happen any time soon. “Ok Bea, let me get Franky on the line for you. It was good hearing your voice and tell Debbie I said hi,” Doreen says warmly. Franky picks up the line. “Red! I thought you forgot about me!” Franky says cheekily. “Sorry, Debbie and I are just getting settled. I didn’t want to call you with my old phone in case it could be linked to you. I bought a burner today and wanted to give you the new number,” Bea says. “How are the digs? Bridget said it was really nice and close to the beach,” Franky asks. Bridget Westfall is Franky’s girlfriend. She is a forensic psychologist who works with the NYPD. Before Bridget, Franky was a womanizer and her relationships never lasted more than a couple of months. Things were different with Bridget. They have been together for the past 3 years. Franky worshiped the ground she walked on. Bridget was over a decade older than Franky but could keep up with any 20 year old and didn’t take shit from anyone. Franky loved that about her as Franky tended to intimidate everyone. Bea really liked Bridget. She was warm, smart, confident and great for her best friend. “Very warm and comfortable. Please tell Bridget thank you again for asking her friend to rent it to Debbie and I. Especially at such a low rent. I know the rent should be quadruple what she is charging me,” Bea says gratefully. “Aww Red, Bridget loves you and wants to help. Thankfully her friend has a big old crush on her and would do anything to get into Bridget’s pants,” Franky laughs. “Whatever the circumstances, I am just so grateful.” Tears are starting to well up in her eyes feeling overwhelmed with gratitude. Franky senses this “how are you doing, Red?” Franky asks softly. “Better than I thought I would be doing. I am scared shitless but I think I can get through this. Allie is great by the way. She is really compassionate and has a way about her that makes me feel safe. I feel like I can tell her my story and she won’t cast judgment. She is also very patient. She is letting me go at my own pace…. Thank you so much for recommending her to me.” A tear slides down Bea’s cheek. “Well, she is very good at what she does and it doesn’t hurt that she is smoking hot,” Franky laughs. “Jesus Franky,” Bea sighs. “Don’t let Bridget hear you say that or you will be in the doghouse for a month.” Bea says laughing. “Nah, Bridget can’t go too long without some Franky lovin’. Besides, she knows I look but I am not interested in anyone but her.” Franky says. “She has the patience of a saint, you know that right?” Bea laughs. “Thank God for that, no one else would put up with my crap!” says Franky. They both laugh. “Hey, we were thinking about coming to see you and Debbie for the weekend if it isn’t too soon. We thought it would give you a break from focusing on getting rid of that asshole. What do you think?” Franky asks seriously. “That would be nice. Debbie would love to see the both of you. I think she would appreciate the distraction. She is trying to be brave and strong for me and I am sure that it is taking its toll on her. I worry Franky... I worry that it’s too late and that she will follow in my footsteps and make the same mistakes I’ve made. Look at how my mother’s actions affected me. What if Debbie grows to hate me like I hate my mother,” Bea says starting to cry. “No Red, this is not like you and your mother. Your mother never left your father and she never tried to make things right for you. She stayed with him until the end. You are taking the steps your mother was never willing to take. You are strong and brave. Debbie sees that,” Franky says with conviction. “Listen… I have to go but I will see you on Saturday and we can talk more. Give Debbie a kiss for me. Oh and Red, for the record…I am really proud of you.” Bea’s tears are flowing freely “thank you Franky. You are a great friend.” “Nah, I am just an asshole who loves ya.” Franky laughs.

Debbie heads back up the beach to where her mother is sitting. She is carrying a bunch of shells and looks a little more relaxed than she did this morning. “Was that Franky?” Debbie asks. “Yeah, she and Bridget are going to come and stay with us for the weekend. Are you okay with that, love?” Bea wonders if she should have asked Debbie first. “Of course it is. I love them both. I especially love when Franky riles you up,” Debbie laughs. “Oh yeah, I love that too,” Bea says sarcastically. “It will be good to have some normalcy thrown into the chaos of our new life,” Debbie says. Bea liked the sound of that “our new life.” “So show me what treasures you found on your walk.” Bea says. 

Allie locks up the office and heads over to a local tavern to meet her best friend, Maxine. Allie met Maxine when she was an undergraduate at NYU. They became fast friends and she became like a sister to Allie. Maxine had gone on to get her PhD in psychology and now has her own practice in the Hamptons close to Allie’s cottage. What makes Maxine so special to Allie is her empathy and compassion for others. Maxine listens without judging and has a knack for saying the right thing at the right time. Allie told her about her family and Maxine was very supportive when she helped her mother get on her feet. The beauty of their friendship is that they go to each other for help when they are having a difficult time with a client. Not that the client themselves are difficult but that the case is heartbreaking or effecting them in a way that they are having a hard time coping by themselves. They are meeting tonight because Allie is concerned about the way she may respond to Bea describing the abuse Harry has inflicted on her. Bea and Debbie’s situation reminds her of her and her mother’s except that Bea is doing something to stop it. Allie can see the pain in both Bea and Debbie’s eyes and it hurts her. She knows she needs to distance herself from them emotionally but she senses that Bea needs her strength more so than some of her other clients. Plus, Allie feels drawn to Bea and wants to show her that she is worthy of a better life. She hopes that Maxine will help her make sense of how she’s feeling and has some suggestions as to how to handle tomorrow.

Maxine walks into the tavern and finds Allie right away. She orders a glass of red wine and notices that Allie is drinking something stronger. “Ok, spill it. You rarely drink hard alcohol,” says Maxine. “Well, hello to you too,” Allie laughs. Maxine smiles and her eyes are soft. “You sounded like you really needed to talk when you called.” “Yeah, I do. I have a new client. She came in for a consultation on Wednesday with her 16 year-old daughter. She was so scared and I could see that her daughter was trying to be strong for her mother. We talked about why she wanted to divorce her husband and she looked terrified. She was trying so hard to be brave for daughter but she was barely holding on and I cut the meeting short to give her some time to calm down. I saw them again on Thursday and she seemed a little calmer. I think the reality that she was doing this had started to set in. I explained to her about the steps we would need to take and that she would have to tell the judge about what her husband had done to her. Her face dropped and she looked like she was going to bolt. I told her that we could talk about it on Friday. She doesn’t want her daughter there to hear the details. When she said that, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I knew this story was going to be difficult to hear,” Allie takes a deep breath. “I am afraid of what I will hear. I have heard some horrible recountings of abuse from other clients but for some reason I....I don’t know. There just something about her, Maxi.” Allie sighs heavily. Maxine waits to see if Allie is finished. When she is sure that it is okay to respond she puts her hand on Allie’s. “I would begin with the why. Why is she effecting you like this? Is it solely because she reminds you of your childhood? Once you have figured that out you can figure out a way to protect yourself from getting too sucked in and distance yourself emotionally. At least enough to be supportive but still able to do your job. First and foremost this is about your client, not you.” Maxi says gently. “I know, you are right Maxine,” Allie sighs. “How are you doing Maxi?” says Allie needing a break from her thoughts. “I’m good. I met someone,” Maxi says with a smile. “That’s great, tell me all about him,” says Allie feeling excited for her friend. “I met him when I went to that seminar in Manhattan I told you about. The conference was at the Grand Hyatt and at the break I bumped into him, literally. He was pleasant about it and he asked me if I was staying at the hotel and I told him about the conference. He told me that the construction company he works for was bidding on a new project and he was meeting with the project manager. He asked me if I wanted to get a drink after I was done with the seminar. I said that I would meet him at the bar in the hotel. We wound up talking for a couple of hours. He was really nice. We are supposed to meet this weekend for dinner,” Maxine said with a grin. “I am so happy for you Maxi, it’s been too long since you’ve dated anyone,” says Allie. “Well, you are one to talk,” Maxine teases. “You know, there is life outside of work. You haven’t had fun for so long. Hearing all of the horror stories of what people to each other takes it’s toll,” Maxine says gently. “After Kim, I needed some time to reflect on the things I still need to work on to have a healthier relationship. The next one I have, I want to get right,” Allie says emotionally. “You will, love...you will,” Maxine says lovingly. The two continue to talk for a while and then call it a night. Allie has some thinking to do before her meeting with Bea tomorrow.


	5. Just start from the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea begins recounting to Allie the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story. This is my first fanfiction. Any comments and/or suggestions are welcome. Have a good wekk everyone!

The dream was so vivid. Harry had found her and Debbie. He was calm and collected at first, telling them that things would change and that he missed them both. He begged Bea not to take Debbie away from him. He said he would go to counseling. She agreed to go back home. At first he is kind to her, making her dinner, bringing her flowers and treating her nicely. After a while Bea started to believe that maybe he could change, that things could be different. Harry came home after work one night and Bea told him that dinner was going to be late. Harry just smiled and said ok. The next thing she knew Harry was on top of her with his hands around her neck. He was screaming in her face “how dare you try and leave me. How dare you take my little girl with you and putting thoughts in her head that I hurt you. You’re a fucking liar. I will kill you, fucking bitch. I will kill you!” Debbie comes running into the kitchen. “Get off her! Dad, let her go!” Debbie screamed while crying. “Shut up Debbie or you will be next!” Harry yells. Debbie runs to the living room, grabs one of the lamps and runs back to the kitchen. She hits her father on the head with the lamp but it only manages to make him more enraged. Stunned, he lets go of Bea and then turns to his daughter, fists clenched....Bea wakes up abruptly with her heart pounding in her chest and her hands are wrapped around her neck protectively. She quickly gets out of bed and heads to Debbie’s bedroom to check on her. She carefully opens the door hoping not to wake her daughter up. Debbie is sleeping peacefully and Bea lets out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. She walks into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator, taking several long swallows she puts the bottle back. Bea walks back into her room and sits on the edge of her bed, her hands covering her face and starts to sob. How is she going to tell the judge the most humiliating events of her life? How is she going to make it through to the other side? Exhausted from the crying and fitful sleep, she lays down and falls asleep until the alarm goes off. Bea showers, makes breakfast for Debbie and gets ready to head out the door. Debbie notices the dark circles under Bea’s eyes but doesn’t say anything. Debbie stops her to give her mother a long hug. “To the moon and back mama,” she says. Bea replies “to the moon and back baby” and with that she kisses the crown of Debbie’s head before walking out of the house to her car.

Allie woke up much earlier than she needed. She wanted to clear her head before her meeting with Bea so she decided to go for a run. The sun had barely risen when Allie left the cottage. She passed by a few people who had the same idea to run this morning. One of which she knew and waved a hello to. Allie pushed herself to run faster and longer than usual hoping that she would exhaust her body and as a result, her mind. An hour later Allie showered and ate some breakfast. She felt refreshed and mentally prepared to listen to Bea’s story. Maxine was right, it is about Bea and not herself.

Bea arrived at the cottage earlier than she was scheduled so she had to sit for a while in the waiting room. Her hands were clammy and she couldn’t stop shaking her leg. Grace noticed Bea was nervous and offered a gentle smile. Bea tried to smile back but she hadn’t the energy to put on a brave face today. She just wanted to get this over with. Bea grabbed a magazine and tried to distract herself but she just turned the pages without really looking at them. She put the magazine down when she felt the vibration of her phone in her pocket. It was a text from Franky. “You can do this, Red!” At the same time she was looking at her phone the front door opened causing Bea to nearly jump out of her chair. It was Allie with a bright smile and Starbucks in her hand. “Good morning ladies,” Allie says cheerfully. She hands Grace a cup walking to her office, “Bea, give me a second and then you can come on back.” Allie says as she heads to her office and closes the door. Bea asks Grace if she could use the restroom and Grace points to where it is. Bea enters the bathroom, locks the door and takes a deep breath. She is shaking. Looking into the mirror she says to her reflection, “You can do this Bea.” She takes one more deep breath and walks back to the waiting room. Allie is waiting for her. “Come on back,” Allie signals to her office. 

Bea enters and sits in the same chair as she did the previous day. But instead of sitting behind her desk, Allie takes the seat next to Bea’s and turns the chair to face Bea. “Did you sleep last night?” Allie asks gently. “Not really,” Bea says quietly. “I’m not surprised... I thought today we would talk about one of the times Harry hurt you. Then we can continue on Monday. That way you have time to deal with the feelings that are brought up today over the weekend. Does that sound okay?” Allie asks with a tenderness that brings tears to Bea’s eyes. Bea appreciates the patience and consideration for her feelings that Allie expresses. “That sounds okay,” Bea takes a deep breath. “Good. Why don’t you start with when and how you met Harry.” Allie suggests while sitting back in her chair.

 

“I met Harry when I was 16. My friends and I looked older and could pass for college freshman so we decided to crash a party one night. I really didn’t want to be there but I went along with it because I wanted to fit in. I really wasn’t interested in meeting boys or having a boyfriend like my friends were. But, I thought that was what I was supposed to do. The party was loud and people were drunk which made me uncomfortable because my father was a drunk and when he drank things got violent in my house. I sat on one of the chairs in the living room and saw Harry sitting alone. We made eye contact at one point and he must have sensed my discomfort because he came over to me and asked if I wanted to sit outside and talk. He seemed friendly enough so I said yes. It was quieter and had a lot less people around. He asked me if I came alone and I told him that I came with friends but didn’t know where they were. He said he would keep me company until they showed up. We talked about music and movies. He seemed to care about what I thought and what I was interested in which was different from what I was used to so I wound up talking a lot more than I would normally. When my friends were ready to leave, they found me with Harry. He asked for my phone number and I gave it to him. I didn’t really think he would call. My friends wouldn’t stop talking about how cute Harry was and how lucky I was.” Bea paused and Allie waited patiently. “Harry called me a week later and asked if I would go to a movie with him and I said yes, anything to get out of the house. I lied to my parents about where I was going that night because my father would never had let me go. Harry behaved like a gentleman during the whole date. He opened the door for me, paid for the movie and then dinner afterwards. We went out a few more times before he even tried to kiss me. Although I wasn’t really interested in being his girlfriend, I did like the attention. One night he asked me if I wanted to see his new place. He had just moved into an apartment off campus with another guy. I said yes and while we were watching tv he leaned over and kissed me. It was chaste at first but soon it became hungrier. I tried to slow him down but he started to grab my breast. At some point I jumped up and said I had to go. He wanted to drive me home but I just wanted to be away from him. He didn’t call me for a week. When he finally did call, he apologized for not calling sooner but he was so disgusted with himself. He apologized profusely saying that it would never happen again that he was just so attracted to me. He begged me to give him another chance. I decided to forgive him and we made plans for the following weekend. His friend’s parents had a home in Westbury and they were going to be out of town for the weekend. They had a heated pool and did I want to go swimming? When Harry sensed my hesitation he said I could bring my friends along if I wanted, so I said okay. We all went swimming at the house and everything was good. I was actually having a good time and because my friends were nearby I wasn’t nervous about being alone with Harry. We went into the house to get everyone drinks and he took my hand. He put his finger up to his lips to let me know to be quiet. He led me upstairs to one of the bedrooms. Once inside he kissed me tenderly, told me I was beautiful and had me sit on the bed. I started to say that I wanted to get back to my friends when he put his finger to his lips again and looked at me with lust in his eyes. He pushed me back on the bed and then laid beside me. We were both in our bathing suits and it was easy to tell that he was aroused. I really wanted to leave but he grabbed my wrist and once again put his finger to his lips. When he pushed my bikini bottom down, I started to object but he put his hand over my mouth with just enough pressure to keep me quiet. When he realized I wasn’t going to call for help he pulled his shorts down and laid on top of me. Harry was 6’2” and weighed about 200lbs so needless to say, I wasn’t going anywhere. That was the first time he raped me. I just lay there crying silently hoping he would be finished quickly. He acted as if he was making love to me. After he finished and he got off of me, he told me that I was so beautiful. He told me that I was his girl now. He walked out of the bedroom and I ran to the closest bathroom and vomited.” Bea was startled when Allie put her hand on her forearm. Bea didn’t even realize she was crying. Allie handed Bea a tissue and waited for her to go on. “As I was cleaning myself up, I noticed that I had blood trickling down my leg. I looked in the cabinets and luckily found a maxi pad. I didn’t tell anyone about what happened. I was so used to keeping secrets that it was easy to pretend like everything was normal. After the day in Westbury he waited a week to call me. When he did call me I told him that I didn’t want to see him again and hung up. He appeared at my house late that night and went to my bedroom window which was on the first floor. He threatened to wake up my parents if I didn’t let him in, so I did. Once he was in my bedroom he slapped me for hanging up on him. I started to cry and suddenly he was so apologetic. He apologized over and over. I threatened to yell for my dad unless he left and he did. A month had passed and I realized that I had not started my period. I bought one of those over the counter pregnancy tests and sure enough I was pregnant. I was terrified. I don’t know who I was more afraid of, my father or Harry. I told Harry and he was ecstatic. It blew me away. I thought he was going to go ballistic but he was genuinely happy that he was going to be a father. My father on the other hand did go ballistic and told Harry that he had better marry me before the baby was born. I of course, did not want to marry Harry or anyone else for that matter. Christ, I was only 16! I fought Harry every step of the way but shortly after I turned 17, we did get married.” Allie, seeing that Bea had reached at a good stopping point said, “Bea you are doing really well. Do you need to take a break?” Despite the fact that Bea had just told her that she had been raped when she was 16, she seemed calm. “Yeah, I could use a break,” Bea said, her voice raspy. Allie brought Bea some water, “thank you, I need to go outside and get some fresh air.” Allie said “of course, take your time.” Allie sat in her office waiting for Bea to come back. Allie had a feeling that was just the tip of the iceberg.

 

Bea stood outside enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. She is surprised by how calm she felt talking to Allie about Harry. She knew it sounded silly but with Allie there by her side she felt hopeful that she could get through this. Bea hardly knew this woman and yet she feels like she is safe with her. Bea walked back into Allie’s office. “Are you ready to continue?” Allie asks. Bea nodded.

 

“Things were relatively calm during my pregnancy. Before I started to show he would force himself on me but I was compliant so he wasn’t rough with me. Of course to him it was my duty to have sex with him so if I didn’t consent, it wasn’t rape. Harry would only slap me occasionally and not hard enough to leave a mark… You know, as much as I hated having to be with Harry because I was pregnant, I never not wanted to have Debbie. From the day she was born I was in love with that little girl. Surprisingly, as shitty of a husband as Harry is, he loves our little girl. He had never laid an unkind hand on her. Harry was so proud to be a father. He bought lots of clothes, toys, blankets and whatever she needed. He spoke to her lovingly and never got frustrated with her. He only took his anger out on me… I was a terrible wife, a terrible mother and a worthless person. He told me that every day. He started to get very particular about how he liked the house kept, the times he expected his meals, the clothes I should wear and how I should behave in front of his friends. When I strayed from those particulars, I was slapped in private or kicked under the table when people were around. He told me over and over that I had horrible social skills. That I was dumb and inarticulate. I should only speak when spoken to and even then I should keep it short. He hated the sound of my raspy voice. It made me sound like a man. I embarrassed him. By the time Debbie was 3 Harry graduated college. He had no trouble finding work that paid well but not enough to keep up with his loan repayment so he wanted me to go to work. I had no skills since I barely graduated from high school. He told me to get licensed in cosmetology, so I did. I loved every minute of every class. I was told by my teachers that I had a great eye and was talented. I began dreaming of owning my own salon one day, but those good feelings never lasted long. Harry pissed on any dream of ever having something of my own. He told me that the teachers were either lying to me to get me to take more classes or that they were shit at cutting hair and that’s why they could only teach it. I did manage to get my license within a year. I loved to cut, color and style hair. I loved how it transformed people not only physically but mentally too. Aside from loving my daughter, working in a salon was the only thing that gave me pleasure. I did love to draw but Harry had ruined that for me too. One day he had looked at my drawings and said Debbie could draw better than me and that was the last time I drew. I found a job rather quickly and worked part time. The extra money I was bringing in helped ease the stress Harry was feeling financially. But he would have me deposit my check directly into his account. I had no access to any money other than the weekly allowance Harry gave me. I had started making friends at the salon and when I would tell Harry about them he would ask me if I told them things about our life. I told him “of course not” but he was always threatening me to never tell anyone about our private affairs. I knew better than telling people about how he treated me. My friends would ask me to join them after work for a drink or out to the movies on the weekend and I always had to say no. Eventually they stopped asking. Harry on the other hand had his buddies over every Monday night for football. At first, I was relieved that Harry had a distraction from his focus on me. His friends liked me and always told Harry what a great wife I was. That didn’t sit too well with Harry. On one particular Monday night, his friend Joey had made a remark about how Harry was so lazy that he never helped his wife when the guys came over. I smiled at Joey and earned a wink bank and Harry looked pissed. The guys left and Harry told me to clean up. I started picking up the empty bottles when I was blind sighted. Harry had hauled off and punched me in the jaw. I fell to the floor, clutching the side of my face. He kicked me in the stomach. I immediately curled up protecting my middle and he kicked me in the side. I was sobbing, begging him to stop. Debbie opened her door and came running to me, telling Harry to stop being mean to mama. Harry calmly told Debbie to go to her room and shut her door. Just when I thought the beating was over, he pulled me up and over the back of the sofa. He was yelling “you think Joey’s funny, do you? Do you want him to fuck you?” As he is accusing me of secretly wanting to be with his friend he pulled up my skirt, ripped my panties down and put his hand between my legs. I begged him to stop over and over but that seemed to fuel his fire. He unbuckled his belt and pulled out his penis and tried jamming it in me. I was so dry so he spit on his hand lubricating himself and forced himself inside me. I screamed. The pain was so intense. I know this turned him on because he kept muttering in my ear how good it felt and how I was his and no one else’s. When Harry was done, he told me to go get cleaned up and go to bed. So I walked to the bathroom doubled over in pain. I thought I had peed in my underwear but it turned out to be blood. After cleaning myself up, I looked into the mirror and couldn’t recognize myself. When I got into bed, Harry just said “goodnight, Bea…I love you.”

Bea stops talking. She lowers her head and lets out a long, hard sob. Allie immediately moves closer to Bea and puts her hand on her shoulder. Bea feeling the touch of kindness sobs even harder. Allie could feel tears welling up into her eyes. She begins to rub slow circles against Bea’s back, whispering “he can’t hurt you anymore…you are safe here with me.” Once Bea had calmed down sufficiently, Allie suggested that they stop for the day. Bea wouldn’t make eye contact with Allie. She knew that Bea felt embarrassed and exposed, as if she did something wrong. “Bea…Bea…please look at me.” Bea raises her eyes slowly and looks into Allie’s eyes. “You did so well today. I am so proud of you.” Allie says trying to will Bea to accept the truth. “You are so brave for talking about this with me. I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you but I hope you know that I am right here with you.” Allie says. “Will you be okay to drive? You can stay in here as long as you need to calm down. I don’t have any appointments until after lunch.” Allie says soothingly. Bea takes a deep breath and says, “I think I am okay now. Thank you so much, Allie.” “Let’s meet on Monday, same time.” Allie smiles gently. “What are you doing after you leave here?” Allie asks worrying that after such an emotional morning, Bea will be vulnerable. She doesn’t want Bea to have a breakdown. “I am going to pick Debbie up and then I am going to go take a nap.” Bea says feeling drained. “Good. If you need anything, please call me…anytime of the day or night.” Allie offers. “Franky and her girlfriend are coming to see us for the weekend so I will have a good distraction.” Bea offers a weak smile. “I don’t know if you can handle a Franky distraction right now,” Allie laughs softly. “Yeah, she’s something else. Wouldn’t want to be her girlfriend but she is definitely a great friend.” Bea says smiling at the thought of her cheeky friend. “How do you and Franky know each other anyway?” Bea asks curiously. “We have mutual friends. They tried setting us up. I love Franky but she wasn’t relationship material. We wound up just being friends.” Allie smiles. “Oh, I didn’t know you were gay…” Bea blushes. “Well, I didn’t think it would be a good thing to advertise on my website.” Allie laughs. Bea’s face turns almost as red as her hair. “I’m sorry, that was dumb of me to say,” she says as she lowers her head. Allie laughs, “Bea, you’re fine. I just thought you knew.” Allie says amused. Bea suddenly becomes shy. “I should go, thank you again Allie. I will see you on Monday.” Bea hugs Allie. When they part, Bea is blushing and Allie looks surprised. “Try and enjoy time with your friends this weekend. I will see you on Monday,” Allie says softly. With that, Bea heads off to go pick up Debbie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story. This is my first fanfiction. Any comments and/or suggestions are welcome. Have a good week everyone!


	6. I survived Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Franky and Bridget come to the house for a visit.

“How did it go?” Debbie asks when they get back to the house. “I survived. Can we talk later Deb, I am exhausted and just want to lay down for a bit.” Bea asks. “Of course, I will leave you alone for a while…mama…?” “Yeah baby?” “I am really proud of you,” Debbie says with tears welling up in her eyes. Bea hugs her and kisses the crown of Debbie’s head.” “Thank you baby.” Bea says and then heads to her bedroom. Bea curls up on the bed and pulls the pillow to her chest. She starts to cry violently, muffling her sobs into the pillow. She doesn’t know how long she cried for but she was spent. She finally closed her eyes and slept. Surprisingly, she didn’t have any nightmares. She sat up and looked at the time. She had slept for several hours. Bea showered and got dressed. Feeling somewhat refreshed, she headed to the living room. Debbie was lying on the couch reading a book. “Feeling any better?” Debbie asked. “Yes actually, I do.” Bea said. “Hey, did you like the food at that restaurant we had at lunch at yesterday?” Bea asks Debbie. “Yeah, it was good and the view was great. Does this mean you want to feed me? I am starving you know.” Debbie sucks in her cheeks like she is withering away. Bea laughs and rustles Debbie’s hair. “You know there is plenty of food in the house. What are you going to do when you are on your own?” Bea joking. “I’m going to look into restaurant windows with a sad puppy dog face until someone takes pity on me and feeds me.” Debbie says trying to be serious. “Well, you are kind of adorable. It could work.” Bea laughs. “Come on rotten kid, let’s go feed you.” Bea says.

After eating, Bea and Debbie decided to take a walk along the shops. There were a lot of touristy types of shops that sell beach themed items and shirts that say “I heart New York.” The book store that Debbie went to the day before was having a book signing. The author was a well-known teen fiction writer and Debbie was so excited that she begged Bea to let her buy a book and have it signed. Bea said yes, enjoying the excitement she rarely saw in her daughter. They decided to meet back in 2 hours in front of the book store. Bea continued walking and looking in the shops. She wandered into a shop that sold hand blown glass figurines and sculptures. The workmanship was incredible. Everything in there was beautiful. There was a large figurine that immediately caught Bea’s eye. A pair of seahorses with their tails linked. The blue and aqua colors were so vivid. Bea remembered that among the various items on the bookshelves in Allie’s office were a lot of seahorses. Clearly, seahorses were her favorite. Bea decided that as a thank you gift, she would give her the figurine. She made her purchase and headed to the next shop. It was an art supply store and Bea hadn’t been in one in years. She felt her eyes tear up, she kept walking and noticed that she smelled vanilla and waffles. She came upon a shop selling homemade ice cream and chocolates. She decides to treat herself to a cone, lord knows she earned one today. She ordered a white and dark chocolate swirl in a waffle cone. There are metal tables and chairs on the sidewalk and she sits at an empty table. An older woman with frizzy blond hair attempts to save one of the scoops of ice cream on her cone from falling but misses and the ice cream splatters on the ground next to Bea. “Oh God, I am so clumsy! I’m sorry, love. Did I get it on you?” The woman says with an Australian accent. “It’s okay. No, you missed my foot,” Bea says shyly. “That’s good love. I’m Liz by the way,” extending her hand and then laughing when she realizes that is covered in ice cream. “I swear, I am like a bloody child.” Bea can’t help but laugh and says, “at least you are enjoying it. I’m Bea.” “I like your hair color Bea, did you have it professionally done? I only ask because I own the salon across the street and whoever it was did an excellent job.” Bea looks behind her and sees the salon. “Actually, I did it myself. I am a hairdresser.” Bea’s eyes gaze downward embarrassed by the compliment. “Really? I’m impressed. Do you live around here? I am looking for someone to work part-time for the summer.” Liz asks. “I’m staying in town just for a couple of weeks.” Bea’s demeanor changes when she realizes that she may be revealing too much. Liz notices the change and decides to leave it alone. “When you are up for it, come by and see the shop.” Liz offers. Bea smiles nervously and nods her head. “Well, have a good day. It was nice meeting you, love.” Liz says smiling. “It was nice to meet you too.” Bea says. Liz walks off and Bea continues looking at the shops. Before she knows it it’s time to go back to the book store. 

Debbie is on cloud nine. She showed Bea the autographed copy of her favorite book by that author. Bea is happy to see Debbie act like a teenager for once. As they stroll back to the car, Bea’s phone rings. “Hello?” Bea rasps. “Hey, Red,” Franky says boisterously. “Gidge and I will be at your place at 10 tomorrow morning, if you still want us to come out there.” Bea finds herself smiling widely. “That sounds great. It’s supposed to be beautiful and warm tomorrow so we can go to the beach.” “If you want to see me in a bikini Red, you could just ask.” Franky says laughing and Bea giggles. “Seriously, that sounds like fun. How are you holding up?” Franky asks gently. “I’m ok, we can talk about it tomorrow.” Bea says swatting Debbie’s hands away from the phone. “Let me talk to Franky.” Debbie says trying to grab the phone. Franky is laughing on the other line. “Just put her on, Red.” “Franky! Are you coming to see us tomorrow?” Debbie asks excitedly. “Yes, mini-Bea. Gidge and I are coming to see your rotten self.” Franky teases. “Put your mom back on the phone and we will talk tomorrow.” Franky laughs. “Gotta go Red. We will see you in the morning. Try not to dream of me in a bikini... too much.” Franky teases. “I think I’ll manage.” Bea says sarcastically.

The next morning, Bea and Debbie get ready for their friends’ arrival. They pack snacks and drinks into a cooler, towels, suntan lotion and the beach chairs they bought from Walgreens last night. Just as they finish packing the car they hear a car horn and a red jeep pull up the side of the house. “Franky!!!” Debbie runs to the car. Both Franky and Bridget get out of the car and Debbie hugs them both. Bridget gets their bags out from the trunk and walks up the driveway. She sets them down beside Bea and steps in for a long hug. “Hey Bea. It’s so good to see you. I have been worried about you,” says Bridget. “It’s really good to see you too. I’ve missed you,” Bea says with tears in her eyes. Bea grabs a bag and Bridget grabs the other and heads inside. “Debbie will be sleeping with me this weekend and you and Franky will stay in Debbie’s room.” Bea shows Bridget the bedroom. Franky comes barreling into the house. “Red!” Franky hugs Bea hard and pulls her off her feet. “Put me down, Doyle.” Bea squeals. “Nah,” Franky says. “Put her down Franky. You can play with her all weekend.” Bridget says in a mock stern voice. Franky puts Bea down with a pout on her face. “Wow, she really has you whipped Franky,” laughs Bea. “You should see her in the bedroom, ordering me what to do….” “Enough Franky, there is a child in our midst.” Warns Bridget. Debbie walks in at that moment and rolls her eyes. Are we going yet?” Debbie asks. They all laugh. “Yes mischief, let’s go.” Bea says.

 

The four of them set up the chairs and coolers and Bridget takes Debbie down toward the water. She wants to give Bea and Franky time to talk. Franky opens a bottle of beer and hands it to Bea and then opens one for herself. They sit in silence for a bit until Bea asks, “what’s going to happen when Harry gets served with the divorce papers?” Bea takes a long draw off her beer. “Allie will ask for a protection order so he won’t be able to come near you within 1,000 feet.” Franky says. “Do you honestly think that will stop him?” Bea looks unconvinced. “He doesn’t even know where you are, Red. Just get through this first part. Get all that you need to file the paperwork, then deal with the next part. If you think too far ahead you are going to talk yourself out of doing it.” Franky says while looking over at Bea. Bea is looking straight ahead, trying to stop the tears that want to form. “Okay Franky.” Neither of them say anything for a while and then Franky breaks the silence. “So, other than the fact that you feel safe with Allie. What do you think of her?” Franky asks coyly. “What do you mean? Bea responds suspiciously. “She’s hot, huh?” Franky teases. “I don’t know, I’m not…” “Gay, yeah I know, Red. You don’t have to be gay to appreciate another woman’s beauty or sex appeal,” says Franky. “I know…uh...she’s uh... very pretty, beautiful even.” Bea says shyly. “Aha! I knew you’d find her attractive!” Franky laughs loudly. “Jesus Franky! You baited me into saying that. Why are you always trying to hook me up with women? Not everyone is gay you know.” Bea’s neck and face are flushed with embarrassment. “I just want you to be happy Red. I want you to experience good sex and real love. I keep offering you that and you keep turning me down…” Bea whacks Franky with her towel. “Stop hitting on me Franky or I will get Bridget to beat your ass.” Bea says laughing. “Nah Red, you don’t want to do that….I would enjoy it.” Franky cackles. “You are relentless.” Bea sighs. They are both quiet for a minute. “I am going to go see what the terrible two are up to and take a dip in the water. Wanna come?” Franky offers. “No, I am just going to enjoy the sun.” Bea says. Franky walks down toward the water. Bea takes a long swig of her beer, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. She closes her eyes for a while and when she opens them again she sees a tall blonde in a bikini walking toward her. As the woman gets closer, Bea realizes it’s Allie. Her heart jumps into her throat. She’s not sure why she is so nervous but she is. Bea tries to keep her eyes focused on Allie’s face. She doesn’t even know why that should be so hard. She’s not attracted to women. But, Bea wants to look. Allie interrupts her thoughts, “hi Bea. I didn’t want to interrupt you but I couldn’t help but check and see how you are doing?” Allie says with concern in her voice. “I’m doing better today, thank you. Franky is here if you want to say hi to her.” Bea notices Franky, Bridget and Debbie are walking toward where they are. “That would be great.” Allie says turning toward them. Franky realizes who Bea is talking to and gets a grin on her face. “Hey Franky,” says Allie. “Hey good looking. How are you?” Franky hugs Allie and then quickly introduces Allie to Bridget. Allie turns toward Bridget smiling and says,“I bet you hear this all of the time but you must have the patience of a saint to stay with Franky.” Bridget laughs. “Yeah, I get that a lot.” Franky just wiggles her eyebrows at Bridget. “Hey Debbie. How are you doing?” Allie asks Debbie who looks eager to say hi. “Good.” Debbie smiles happily. Allie looks at Bea and there is a moment of silence between them. Allie is the first to break it when she says, “okay, I just wanted to see how you are doing. I will leave you guys to it. See you Monday Bea.” Franky sees the look between Bea and Allie and says coyly, “why don’t you join us for dinner tonight?” Bea looks at Franky, then at Bridget. Bridget senses the reservation Bea is having and says, “that might be awkward for Bea, Franky. Given the circumstances.” Franky frowns at herself for not being more sensitive. “Sorry. Maybe you and I can catch up before we leave.” Franky offers Allie. “Do you still run?” Allie asks. “Yeah, why?” Allie suggests that they meet at sunrise and go for a run and a catch up. “You’re on Allie.” Franky smiles.

Back at the house, Bea starts preparing dinner while Debbie shows Bridget the autographed book. Franky approaches Bea in the kitchen. “I’m sorry about earlier, Red. I didn’t think about how vulnerable you must feel with Allie. Also, I’m sorry I teased you about being attracted to her.” Franky says sincerely. Bea looked up from the cutting board and met Franky’s eyes. “It’s ok. I just...I do feel very exposed right now. She knows things that I have never told anyone...including you.” Bea looks downward. Franky places her index finger under Bea’s chin and lifts her head so Bea is looking at her. “You are doing great...I hope you know that. You’re the bravest woman I know. You have survived years of abuse without falling apart and now you are standing up for yourself. Please don’t discount that.” Franky says tenderly. “Thanks Franky. Coming from someone who knows a ton of women, that means a lot.” She says cheekily trying to lighten the mood. Franky laughs hard. 

The next morning, Franky woke up just before the sun was up. Muttering to herself, “who gets up at this time? Ugh.” Bridget, who Franky thought was still asleep giggles. “Don’t be a pansy Franky. The exercise will do you good. Besides, what were you thinking telling Allie you still run? You only run your mouth.” “Hmph, you will pay for that remark Gidge.” Franky pretends to be offended while putting on her sneakers. “Oh yeah, what are you going to do?” Bridget continues to giggle. “When I get back all sweaty and stinky, I am going to give you the biggest hug.” Franky threatens as she jumps on the bed and rolls Bridget over. “You’re going to be late Franky, now go and let me get some sleep.” Bridget says sleepily. Franky just shakes her head laughing.

Franky meets Allie at her cottage and they start running from there. Allie notices that Franky is huffing and puffing a lot. “So, you still run huh?” Allie tries to hide the smirk on her face. “Shut up Novak. I only said yes so we could talk.” Franky slows down. “We can just walk if you want.” Allie laughs. “Yeah, that’d be good.” Franky says in between deep inhalations. “What did you want to talk about?” Allie asks. “I just wanted to know how Bea is doing. She is very guarded and even with me she will try to put on a brave face. I am worried that she isn’t doing well and she is trying to hide it.” Franky says concerned. “You know I can’t really talk to you about this, Franky. You’re a lawyer. All I can tell you is that we have made progress and she seems to be holding up better than I expected.” Allie says uncomfortably. Franky’s demeanor changes and she raises an eyebrow. “So what’s up with that exchange at the beach yesterday?” “What do you mean?” Allie is confused. “There was a long pause and prolonged eye contact before you said you were just checking in on Bea.” Franky smiles with the tip of her tongue pushing against her teeth. Allie blushes. “What? Oh stop...you think everyone is hot for everyone. There is nothing there.” “Okay....looked like something to me.” Franky smirks. Allie looks annoyed and starts picking up the pace. “Hey, slow down....” Franky says starting to pant. “Best to think before you speak, Franky.” Allie laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We needed a little fluff after Chapter 5.


	7. Allie's Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie comes to a realization and Bea encounters someone from her past.

Allie walked into the tavern, she finds Maxine sitting in one of the booths. She slid into the seat across from Maxine. A server came to the table to take their order. “What can I get you to drink?” The server asked Allie. “I will have a glass of Merlot, please.” “Did you ladies want to order anything, an appetizer maybe?” “Sweet potato fries,” they say in unison which made the server laugh. “Ok, I will put your order in.” The server walked away. “Sooo, how are you?” Allie asked smiling. “I’m good but a little nervous about tomorrow night.” says Maxine. “Where are you meeting him?” Allie asked. “He reserved a table at that posh new restaurant, Le Madeline’s. It’s supposed to be really good.” Maxine smiles. “Yeah and a little pricey. Wonder what his expectations are?” Allie teasing. “Stop it, you are not easing my nerves at all.” Maxine laughs. “You will be fine Maxi. Dating is like riding a bike... you will need a helmet.” Allie said while giggling. Maxine swats Allie’s arm. “Well, aren’t you full of jokes tonight?” Maxine smirks. “How did it go yesterday with your new client?” Allie takes a deep breath. “It was painful to listen to the details but I was so…proud, I guess that’s the right word at how well she handled herself. She struggled but I was amazed by her strength. I think she is going to get through this and be better for it.” Allie says with admiration. “That’s really good to hear, Allie. Last time we talked you said you were worried about how hearing Bea’s story might affect you. How are you feeling now?” Maxie asked. “I thought I would be sucked back into that place, you know. That place where I felt helpless to protect my mother. But, I didn’t feel that way with her. She is so strong where my mother wasn’t. I felt like her strength kept me from sinking into that old feeling and I swear my strength anchored her to the present. That she felt safe in the room with me. That she could talk about her pain and remain intact.” Allie shakes her head and looks away from Maxine suddenly feel exposed. “I don’t know. There is something inspiring about her. Other women would have given up. But, she keeps fighting. She shows that through her daughter and through making the decision to leave the bastard.” Allie says looking at Maxine. They were both quiet for a minute. “So what are you not telling me,” asks Maxine with her eyebrow raised. “I don’t know what you mean Maxine.” Allie shakes her head. “Don’t you? You said that there’s something about her…is it just her strength?” Maxine asks. Allie frowns. “ I saw her at the beach today. I couldn’t help myself but to walk over and make sure she was doing okay. Franky, the woman who recommended me to Bea…” Maxine interrupts, “Bea, is that your client’s name?” Allie nods. “Franky and I dated a few times but she’s a player and as you know, I’m not so we ended up just being friends. Franky has a gift of being able to read people and their body language. She can tell you what you are feeling or thinking before you know it yourself. It’s really annoying…” They both laugh. “At the beach, Franky noticed, what she called “a moment between Bea and me” and I wasn’t aware of it but when I thought back to that moment…I realized there was a moment. Maybe not for Bea, but for me.” Maxine sighed lightly. “What was the moment and what did it mean to you?” Maxine asked. Allie let out a sigh and shook her head. “I think I may be attracted to her. Before you say anything Maxi…I know why it’s not a good thing. There are many reasons why it’s not a good thing.” Allie frowns. “What are they Allie?” Maxine asks knowing the answer already but making Allie say them out loud. “First and foremost, she is my client. I need to concentrate on her needs, not my own. There is the power dynamic. She is making herself incredibly vulnerable and I could hurt or manipulate her without even knowing that I am doing it. She is a damsel in distress and you know how drawn to that kind of woman I am. She is staying here temporarily. She is not even divorced yet…..have I listed them all?” Allie asks trying to avoid Maxine’s gaze. “I think those will do for now. Look, I know you wouldn’t deliberately hurt anyone but just like in my profession, you have an ethical code to abide by. I am not doubting that there is something special about her but like you said, she is a damsel in distress. I am concerned that you are saying that you know you should suppress your feelings for now but that you won’t actually do it. She will need therapy, probably for a long while to deal with all of the trauma she has suffered. She won’t be ready for a relationship until she heals, if even then. Even when she is ready to have an intimate relationship… she is straight Allie,” Maxine said gently. “So what are you saying? No one can resist the Novak charm.” Allie asks laughing with little humor. “I’m just kidding. I get it Maxi. I really do. Thank you for listening and helping me think this through.” Allie puts her hand on Maxine’s arm. “You are a really good friend…and a really cheap therapist.” Allie laughs. “Who said I am not sending you a bill?” Maxine says between giggling. The server brought their fries and refreshes their drinks..” “Enough about my drama. Tell me more about your boyfriend.” Allie throws Maxi a wink. 

It’s Sunday morning and Bea wakes up alone in her bed. She can smell fresh coffee and bacon. She heads to the kitchen and hears laughing. Debbie is trying to flip an omelet and it flies out of the pan. Bridget is turning the bacon strips and everyone looked happy. A warm feeling washed over Bea. She was filled with love and saw what a real family could look like. :Good morning sleepyhead.” Franky walked over and ruffled Bea’s curly, red, mop of hair. “Morning,” Bea says sleepily. “ What’s going in hear besides a mess.” She eyes Debbie. “Franky is showing me how to flip an omelet with a pan.” Debbie excitedly. “Apparently I am not doing a very good job of it.” Franky laughs. Using the tongs, Bridget pulls the bacon from the pan and puts them on a plate. Franky takes a piece and shoves it in her mouth. Bridget swats her in the arm. “Bea, we wanted to take you and Debbie out tonight before heading back to the city. There is a new restaurant that has been getting rave reviews.” Bridget says. “Oh, you don’t need to do that Bridget.” Bea says shyly. “Franky and I want to. We are so proud of you and you deserve a nice night out.” Bridget says softly. “Yeah Red, lords knows that asshole never took you out anywhere nice.” Franky says with anger in her voice. She suddenly realizes that she shouldn’t have said that in front of Debbie. “Sorry Deb.” Franky says quietly. “It’s ok Franky, he is an asshole.” Debbie shrugged. “What do you say Bea?” asks Bridget. “Debbie and I don’t have anything nice to wear though.” Bea looks uncomfortable. “Let’s go shopping then. Our treat.” says Bridget. “Oh, I couldn’t let you do that, Bridget.” Bea looks embarrassed. “Sure you can, Red. I can help you pick out something nice and Bridget can take Debbie to find a nice dress.” says Franky. “You just want to see me try on clothes.” Bea teases. “Fucking right I do.” Franky laughs. Bridget looks at Franky and shakes her head. “Alright, let’s eat breakfast and then we can head to town.” Bea says. Debbie squeals in excitement.

“As much as I am enjoying the fashion show, pick a fucking outfit already, Bea.” Franky shouts through the changing room door. Bea steps out of the dressing room wearing a form fitting black dress. It’s a modest but classic style and Franky lets out a low whistle. Her eyes rake up and down Bea’s body. Bea blushes from the neck up. “Stop it Franky. “Sorry Red, you just look so beautiful. I think you should get this one.” Franky says with a look of approval. “You don’t think it’s too much?” Bea asks having not gotten dressed up in a long time. “Nah, it’s an upscale restaurant so it’s appropriate.” Franky says reassuringly. Bea changes back into her clothes and Franky pays for the dress, pumps and a black handbag. “Bea saw the amount and was uncomfortable with how much Franky was spending on her. Franky sees Bea’s face and says, “you’re worth it, Red.” Tears spring to Bea’s eyes instantly. No one has ever said that to her before. “Now all you need are some earrings.” Franky says while holding the door for Bea. They walk further down the shops and find a costume jewelry shop. Walking in they see Debbie and Bridget. Debbie and Bea pick out the accouterments to go with their dresses. As they head back to the car, Bea pulls Bridget aside. “Thank you so much, not only for the outfits but for your support. I hope you know how much it means to me.” Bea says, her voice more raspy from the emotion stuck in her throat. “Bea, we love you. Nothing makes us happier than to see some light in your eyes. We will do whatever it takes to help you be happy.” Bridget says with a loving smile. The tears flow and Bea hugs Bridget tightly. “Hey ladies, we haven’t got all day.” Franky yells. Bridget and Bea just laugh shaking their heads.

Later in the evening, Maxine is putting the finishing touches of her makeup. She is nervous. Allie is right though, it has been too long since Maxine has dated anyone. Maxine takes one last sip of the red wine she was drinking to calm her nerves and heads out the door. She arrives at the restaurant a little early so she decided to sit at the bar and orders a glass of wine. She checks her phone for a few minutes and looks up toward the front entrance. Joey walks in and sees Maxine. He smiles and they give each other a brief hug. “You look great.” he says. “Thank you, so do you.” Maxine smiles.” They are seated near the entrance to the restaurant. “ It’s beautiful in here.” Maxine says as she is looking around at the decor. “Yeah, hopefully the food is as good as the review say it is” Joey says nervously. “So tell me about yourself, Maxine.” Joey asks. Maxine begins to tell him about herself when she notices that he is suddenly distracted. “What’s the matter?” Maxine asks. She sees that he is looking behind her. “I see someone I know. I don’t want to be rude but, can I go over and say hello to them?” Joey asks distractedly. Maxine says yes. Joey gets up and walks to the women that are about to pass by. Bea notices him immediately. Her heart starts pounding and her mouth goes dry. She’s hoping that he doesn’t see her. Joey walks straight for her. “Bea! What are you doing here?” he asks accusingly. Franky notices the tension in Bea’s body and eyes Joey carefully wondering if it’s the same Joey that Harry’s friends with. It must be. Franky starts to move between them. “Hi Joey, Bea says nervously. “Harry’s been worried sick about you. What are you doing here?” Joey is getting annoyed. He feels bad for his best friend and here is Harry’s wife out and about on the town. He notices Debbie and she looks nervous. “Hi Deb.” Joey says. Debbie manages to say hello even though it is clear she is scared. Joey looks back at Bea. “You need to go home Bea. This is not right.” Joey says with a stern voice. Franky steps in. “Look Joey, Bea doesn’t need to go anywhere and if you don’t mind we are hungry and don’t have time for lectures.” Franky says angrily. Bridget puts a hand on Franky’s arm signaling to her to back off. Joey looks at Bea and says “Harry always said that you were a shitty wife. He’s better off without you.” Bea is shaking and runs toward the entrance of the restaurant. “Great job, dickhead.” Franky says. Debbie runs after her mother who is leaning against the wall outside and tears are streaming down her face. Debbie hugs her mother. Franky and Bridget walk out of the restaurant and see Bea and Debbie crying. “He’s going to tell Harry!” Bea sobs. “Let’s get you back to the house.” Franky says with her arms around Bea’s shoulders.

Back at the restaurant, Joey sits down at the table with Maxine. “What was that about?” Maxine says very concerned with the way spoke to the lady with the red hair. “She’s my best friend’s wife and that was her kid. She just walked out on him, took the kid and left. No contact. He has no idea where she is and he’s worried sick.” Joey says disgustedly. Maxine asks, “Why do you think she would have suddenly left? Was there any sign that she was unhappy?” “I don’t know but Bea has always been weird. You never knew what she was thinking.” Joey said. The hair on the back of Maxine’s neck stood up. “How old is her daughter?” Maxine asks casually, trying not to sound suspicious. “I think she is 16.” Joey says. Although Maxine stays for the rest of dinner, she feels sick inside. She needs to tell Allie as soon as she can. 

Bea hadn’t stopped crying since they left the restaurant. Franky could tell that Debbie was trying to be strong and hide the fear she was undoubtedly feeling. Bridget was sitting on the couch with Bea, rubbing her arm trying to calm her down. There was no calming Bea down. “He’s going to find me and kill me.” Bea said so quietly that had Bridget not be sitting right next to her, she would have missed it. Bridget looked at Franky, silently begging her with her eyes to say something that would help. “First, we get a restraining order.” Franky says while thinking of the next step. “I could ask my friend that owns the house to have an alarm installed.” Bridget offers. “That’s a good idea Gidge. Can you call her tonight?” Franky asks. Bridget gets her phone out and calls her friend. Bridget explains the situation and gets approval to install the alarm. They will call in the morning and set it up for the same day. Bea seems to calm a little. Franky walks over to Bea and takes her hands in hers. “It’s going to be okay Bea. Don’t let tonight derail you.” Franky says to a blank face. “I need to go lay down for a minute.” Bea says getting up and walks to her room and shuts the door. Bridget and Frankie decide to stay the night and head out in the morning. They were both too worried to leave Bea and Debbie alone. After Bridget tried comforting Debbie, she suggested that they call it a night. Debbie crawled into bed with her mother. Bea was sleeping fitfully. Debbie just put an arm around her and held her tight calming Bea.

Maxine called Allie as soon as she came home. She recounted everything that happened at the restaurant. Allie was in shock. Allie knew she had to file a restraining order on Harry. That would be the first thing she would do in the morning. She wanted to call Bea but knew it would be best to talk to her in the morning. Franky was there with Bea and Allie was glad that Bea wouldn’t be alone. She hopes that Bea won’t shut down. Allie was determined more than ever to be strong for Bea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it.


	8. Harry knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is of the essence for Bea to finish her story.

Shortly after Joey got home from his date, he called Harry. As much as he didn’t want to tell Harry that he saw Bea, he was his best friend and couldn’t keep that to himself. Harry picked up after a few rings, “Hello?” Harry said gruffly. “Hey Harry, it’s Joey,” he said dreading this conversation. Harry had quite the temper and he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of it. “Sorry to be calling so late. I have to tell you something,” said Joey. “It better be good, I was just heading to bed,” Harry said irritably. “Well, I told you about the date I had tonight out in the Hamptons?” “Yeah, so what of it.” Harry said getting more irritable. “We met at this really nice restaurant and I saw Bea.” He waited for the explosion. Harry said nothing but Joey could hear him breathing. Joey continued, “she was there with Debbie and two other women. I think one of them was her friend, Franky. They were all decked out. I did a double take because Bea looked really hot and Bea never dressed that way before.” That did it, Harry exploded. “Why the fuck were you checking out my wife? Did you talk to her? Fucking bitch. She’s having a good time while I sit here worried about Debbie. Knowing Bea is filling her with head with lies...well?” Harry was pissed. “I approached her and said that you were worried and that you were right, she was a shitty wife. I told her that she needed to go home.” Joey was really uncomfortable now. He knew he shouldn’t have said Harry’s wife was hot. Especially because Harry always accused him of wanting to fuck Bea. Joey just couldn’t believe how gorgeous she looked. He almost didn’t recognize her. “Harry, let’s get together, have a few beers and talk.” Joey offered. “Fuck that. I’m going to find that bitch and give her what’s coming to her.” Harry was seething. Joey heard a click and knew that Harry had hung up. Joey actually was worried for Bea. She was always nice to him and he never really understood why Harry would put her down all of the time. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Harry, he sounded out of control. Joey knew he had a temper but would he really assault Bea? Should he warn her? Joey wondered if Bea left with Debbie because Harry had assaulted her before. He remembered an instance where Bea had broken her arm and she said she had fell. What if he missed the signs? Joey didn’t know what to do.

Once they were sure that the security alarm would be installed that day, Bridget and Franky left. Bea missed them as soon as their car pulled out of the driveway. She was so thankful that she had friends like them. The soonest that the security company could install the alarm was around noon. Bea called Allie to see if she could meet her in the late afternoon instead of that morning and that she would explain why later. Allie said yes and Bea could tell Allie was worried. While waiting at the house, Bea made Debbie and herself breakfast. “I’m so sorry.” Bea said to Debbie while they were eating. “Mama, you don’t have to apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Debbie said in between mouthfuls. “We should have gone upstate instead of so close to home. The likelihood of anyone we know seeing us would have been less.” Bea says heavily. “Do you think Joey is going to tell dad he saw us?” Debbie asked knowing the answer but hoping she was wrong. “Yes, I am sure he will. Harry had all of his friends fooled. He would treat me nicely when they were around and then hit me right after they left. Joey will believe whatever story Harry tells about how he is the victim in all of this.” Bea said bitterly. I think we have time before we really have to worry though. Just because Joey saw us here doesn’t necessarily mean that we are staying here. Lots of New Yorkers spend the day in the Hamptons and then go back to wherever they live.” Bea trying to convince herself more than Debbie. When Bea looked over at Debbie when there was no response and saw her baby hunched over the table crying. “Debbie….baby, it’s going to be ok.” Bea wrapped her arms around her daughter protectively. “They are going to install the alarm and Allie will help us get an order of protection. I am going to tell Allie everything she needs to know today. I need to push through and deal with my feelings after the paperwork is filed.” Bea says with a moment of gumption. “We are going to get through this baby. I promise you, I won’t let you down.” Bea said trying not to shed her own tears.

Allie was beside herself with worry. She knows she is going to have to push Bea to give the rest of her testimony today. Allie hates the idea of pushing her, knowing how much strength it took for Bea to talk about the beatings and the...rape. The last thing in the world Allie wants is for Bea to feel bullied into talking when she isn’t ready. Not only does she need to get the testimony to present to the judge, she still needs to get Bea’s medical files to corroborate Bea’s testimony that she was being beaten. It is only then that Allie could file the paperwork. She can file a Motion to Show Cause for an Order of Protection at the same time as the paperwork. Then there is the waiting game. Waiting for a hearing date will be excruciating for Bea, knowing that her husband could find her at any moment. Although Allie has had dozens of cases like this, she has never felt so invested in the outcome as she does with Bea. Allie really hasn’t thought about much else since Bea and her daughter walked into her office. Franky saw it before she could even recognize it herself. Allie isn’t drawn to Bea, she’s attracted to her. Allie doesn’t know how she is going to handle her emotions but she must try and focus on the bigger picture. Even if Allie revealed her feelings, to Bea, she would have to wait until the divorce papers were signed. Allie tries to focus on some of the other cases she has neglected. Once Allie finds her focus, Grace knocks on the door. “Hey, sorry to interrupt you but I was going to go get some lunch if that’s alright?” Allie smile. “Of course it is. Where are you going?” Grace laughs, “Sonic...should I get you your usual?” “Allie smiles widely, “If you wouldn’t mind. I have a feeling it is going to be a long day.” Allie sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter but the next part is long and I didn't want to have chapter 9 be too loooooong.


	9. I Survived Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea finishes telling Allie about Harry.

The security alarm is installed by 2:30pm. There are breakers installed so the alarm would go off if the window was broken, as well as being opened. Before leaving the technician explained how to set it and turn it off when she and Debbie were in the house. Bea feels a little better. She is still nervous but that probably has more to do with her appointment with Allie. Shit, it is time to leave. “Better get it over with...,” Bea thinks to herself. “Debbie, I am leaving now. I’m not sure when I will be back. There are leftovers in the fridge for dinner. Please don’t leave the house without me.” Bea says casually as to not scare her daughter any more than she was already. “Okay mama. Are you sure you don’t want me to come along? I can sit in the waiting room,” says Debbie. Bea wasn’t sure how much of it was about being supportive and how much was about not wanting to be alone. “Thank you baby, but no....I will be okay, don’t worry. I love you to the moon and back.” Bea smiles. “to the moon and back,” says Debbie. 

Bea parks the car outside of the cottage. She is having a hard time getting out of the car. Grace sees Bea through the window and after about 10 minutes tells Allie. Although she would much rather hold Bea and tell her she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want, Allie knows that she has to be strong and not coddle her. Allie walks out the front door and approaches the car window. Bea doesn’t acknowledge her so Allie gently taps on the window. Bea rolls it down. “Hey,” Allie says gently. “Hey.” Bea says as she takes a deep breath. Allie comes up with an idea. “Do you want to take a walk along the beach? I know an area that few people know about so it will be quiet.” Allie says. Bea looks confused. Her eyes furrow when she says, “no, I need to finish telling you about Harry.” Allie smiles and says, “I thought we could talk and walk. It might make things easier.” Bea is so thankful for Allie. She is so kind and compassionate. Allie’s unorthodoxy would allow Bea to talk in a less confined environment. Bea takes her up on her offer. She gets out of her car and gets into Allie’s and they head to the beach. Bea was nervous. She knew why she was but Allie seemed nervous as well. Bea looked over at Allie and received a sweet smile. The kind of smile that says, “it’s okay...I am right here with you.” Allie parked and they both took off their shoes and socks. The sun was warm but not hot since it was lower in the sky given the time. There was a lovely breeze and if the circumstances were different she would have really enjoyed the walk. Once they got to the shoreline, Bea figured she should just jump in. 

“When Debbie started elementary school, Harry was traveling a lot. He had gotten a promotion and was going from city to city supervising different construction projects. I was working full-time at the salon. For a few years things were pretty much the same. He would come home on the weekends and in order to look like a happy family, we would go out and do things. Harry was big on taking pictures of the three of them, that way he had “proof” that they were happy. If you look at any of the pictures of the three of us though, no one looked genuinely happy. At the end of the day, Harry would start drinking. A few beers in, Harry would send Debbie to bed. Harry would order me around. ‘Get me another beer. I want chips. Can’t you move any faster? Damn it Bea, you are worthless.’ He would get more and more worked up the more he drank. At some point he would find a reason to punch or kick me. But now he did it to areas of my body people couldn’t see. See Harry had learned that when bruises were visible, people start asking questions. He would pull me into our bedroom, rape me and eventually pass out. Sundays were hit and miss. If he wasn’t out with the guys, it was another shitty day for me.” Bea became quiet. Allie looked over at her to see if she was okay. Bea squatted down and picked up some sand, while shaking it out of her hand she said, “I always wondered what was wrong with me. What about me made Harry so angry? I had seen other couple where they looked genuinely happy to be together. Were they just pretending too?” Allie said nothing, knowing that it was a rhetorical question. Bea stood up and began walking again. “There was a period of time when there was somewhat of a calm. Harry wouldn’t come home for the weekend a couple of times a month. When he did he would pick at me until I said something that would provoke a fight. He wouldn’t hit me when Debbie was around but as soon as Debbie went to bed or stayed over at a friend’s for the night...” Bea stopped again. Allie said, “you are doing great Bea, take your time.” Bea turned and looked at Allie with such pain in her eyes. “I need a minute to just sit. Can we do that, please?” Bea says with a childlike quality to her voice. Allie’s heart was breaking in two. “Of course we can.” Allie practically whispers. They both sit down and look out at the water in silence. 

“I threw Harry a surprise party for his 30th birthday. I invited his friends and co-workers. I cooked all of the food and Debbie and I decorated the house and the backyard. I even baked and decorated the cake. People came over before he was due home from work. When he got home and was surprised by his friends, he was beside himself. He kept saying how great I was and how he had the best wife in the world. He praised me most of the night...until his friends started to praise me too. I wasn’t paying attention to the signs. Harry’s face started to change and the more he drank the more obvious it got that he didn’t like the attention ‘the guys’ were giving to me. Particularly one guy, Joey. Harry was jealous of Joey even though he was his best friend. That night Harry really beat, all because of Joey. I knew that it was going to be worse this time. People started leaving after Harry got a little aggressive with his drinking. Joey asked me if I needed help cleaning up and Harry happened to be standing within earshot and gave me a look. I told Joey thank you but I had it under control. Not soon after Joey left did Harry tell Debbie to go to her room and put her headphones on. He started yelling at me, accusing me of wanting to fuck Joey. He asked if we were having an affair. Then he laughed and said ‘of course not, you are an ugly bitch and you sound like a fucking man. Who the fuck would want you, lord knows I don’t.’ with that he hit me in the head with his beer bottle. I fell to the floor holding my head. There was blood on my hand and my head was pounding. He kicked me in the ribs hard. I felt a crack. ‘Ungrateful bitch. You should find someone who puts up with as much shit, as I do with you.’ He kicks me in the jaw and I can feel it dislocate. The pain is excruciating. ‘The house is a fucking mess, my clothes are never clean enough, you are worthless.’ I can barely hear him after a while but I sure as hell felt when he stomped on my ankle and I could feel it break. I screamed and then passed out.” Bea felt like she was going to vomit. Allie saw that Bea was struggling not to fall apart. Immediately, Allie put her arm around Bea’s shoulders. Bea let out a long, hard sob. Allie pulled a package of tissues from her purse and gave a tissue to Bea. Allie didn’t know how much more she could hear. It was heart wrenching. “Breathe Bea...take a big breath in...and out....big breath in....and out.” Allie rubbed her back while she tried to calm Bea down. Bea stopped crying after a while. “I woke up in the hospital. Debbie had come out of her room at some point, saw me lying on the floor and called an ambulance, Harry had already left. I had a broken rib, jaw, ankle and a concussion. I was in the hospital for a week but it took a lot longer than that to heal. I had to take time off from work and it was difficult to take care of Debbie’s needs. I couldn’t cook or do laundry for a while and Debbie had to those things for the both of us. I hated that Debbie has had to grow up so fast. I feared that she would grow up resenting me, even hating me. The only good that came out of the whole situation was meeting Franky. While in the hospital, I shared a room with one of Franky’s friends who had been in a car accident. Franky came by every evening with snacks and magazines. The first night I was there her friend was sleeping so Franky started to talk to me. She saw that my jaw was wired shut and she knew she had a captive audience.” Bea chuckled somberly, “You know, Franky has this ability to look into a person’s eyes and know all about them, especially their pain. Somehow she knew that it hadn’t been an accident that brought me to the hospital. She visited both of us and made us laugh. Unfortunately for me, it hurt to laugh but she lifted my spirits when I needed it most,” said Bea. “Did the hospital know that Harry attacked you?” Allie asks. “They suspected it but I didn’t say anything, nor did Debbie.” Bea looked away. “Debbie was really effected by what happened. She couldn’t make eye contact with me when she visited. Harry would bring her to my room and she wouldn’t really say anything other than hi and that she loved me. Harry acted like the caring husband when people were around but, at the same time giving me warning looks to keep my mouth shut. When I got out of the hospital, Franky came and visited me at home. She was able to work from home so she would come to my house with her laptop and take out in hand. She was a godsend and I couldn’t even talk because my jaw was wired shut. I communicated through notes. I don’t know what I would have done had she not been there. I will be forever grateful to her.” Bea looked at Allie with tears streaming down her face. “I’m glad you’ve had her then and now.” Allie says. “When I was finally able to talk, you should have seen her face. She did not expect my voice to be low and raspy. That was when she started to fake hit on me. She would tell me how sexy my voice was and I would laugh.” Bea shakes her head laughing. “So different from what Harry said.”

The sun started to set and it got really windy. Both Bea and Allie were shivering. “Let’s head back to the car,” said Allie. Allie turned on the heat. “Do you want to quit for the day?” Allie knew that the worst part was coming and wasn’t sure she was ready for it. Again, a selfish thought. “Can we keep talking? Quite frankly, I don’t think I can handle talking about things after today. It’s exhausting me but I need to push through.” Bea’s eyes pleading with Allie. “Of course we can. Do you want to sit here in the car or go back to the office?” asks Allie. Bea opted to ge back to the office.

While driving, Allie got lost in her head. She wanted to find Harry and rip his balls off and feed them to him. She feels more anger at that moment for what he had done than sympathy for what Bea has endured. Bea is strong and she will heal and move on with her life. But Harry will find someone new to victimize and the thought made her blood boil.

They arrive at the cottage and Allie unlocks the door, leeting Bea in. Allie turns on the lights and asks Bea if she wants something warm to drink like tea or coffee. “Tea would be good, thank you.” Bea rasps. “I hope I am not keeping you from anything this evening.” Bea says when she looks at the time. It’s after 6 and she’s sure that you must have a life when you are done with work. “You’re fine Bea, I usually catch up on paperwork in the evening and then head to my bedroom soon after. I have a very boring life.” Allie smiles. “Wait, you live here? I was wondering where that other door led to,” said Bea. “Yeah, it’s very convenient. Do you take sugar, milk?” “Both please. Do you live here alone?…oh, thank you.” Allie hands Bea her tea while smiling. “Are you making small talk to avoid having the other conversation?” Allie teases. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be asking you questions about your private life…” Bea says blushing wondering why she asked that What difference does it make? “It’s fine Bea, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. “No, no one lives here but me.” Allie senses that Bea is uncomfortable. “You can ask me anything Bea. I think it’s only fair.” Allie smiles sweetly. “But after we finish today… deal?” Bea smiles shyly. “Deal.”

Allie waits patiently for Bea to continue. Bea sips her tea. “The summer Debbie turned 14, we sent her to camp. Harry worked a lot and I hardly saw him. Nothing changed except the frequency in which he beat me. A few weeks after Debbie left, my mother died and despite all of the anger I felt toward her it hit me hard. It triggered the depression and rage I had been trying so hard to keep pushed down. I was weepy one minute and then irritable the next. Franky even had a hard time being around me. One night Harry came home unannounced and gave me shit for not having dinner on the table as if I was supposed to read his fucking mind. I had made plans with Franky and Bridget that night. They were going to pick me up and we were going to go see a movie. I started getting angry and he sensed it so he pushed. He kept hounding me about making him dinner. I had hit my threshold and told him to make his own fucking dinner. As soon as I said it, I knew I was in serious trouble. His eyes went black and he was no longer in control, the anger was. He slapped me in the mouth hard with the back of his hand. I could taste the blood from the cut on my lip. He punched me in the chest so hard I could barely breathe. I fell to the floor and he grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head on the floor over and over again. I blacked out for a little while and when I came to, he was standing over me. He looked almost calm when he told me that he was going to kill me. I tried moving away but my head was throbbing and I still had trouble breathing. He climbed on top of me, his knees were pinning my arms down. I thought I was going to suffocate. He punched me over and over in my face. I blacked out again. When I came to, Franky and Bridget were there and so was a medic. I was taken to the hospital and they put a breathing tube into my lung. It had collapsed as a result of Harry punching me so hard in the chest. My eyes were swollen shut and my head was throbbing. I was in and out of consciousness for a couple of days. Once I fully regained consciousness, the police came to find out what had happened. Before I could start to speak, I heard Harry in the background. All I could hear in my head was Harry saying he was going to kill me. All I could envision was Debbie being alone with Harry and that was enough for me to lie and say that someone had broken into the house and beat me up. The police didn’t buy it but I kept sticking to my story. I think if my eyes weren’t swollen shut, they would have seen the lie in my eyes. Franky and Bridget knew the truth but I begged them not to say anything. They told me that when I didn’t answer the door or my phone they became worried and Franky used her spare key to get into the house. Harry was gone and they found me on the floor of the kitchen. Thank God they did.

Debbie had come home at the end of the summer. I was so happy to see her. I promised myself and to Debbie that I was going to take us far away from Harry. Shortly after my promise, I received a call from the executor of my mother’s will. She had left me money that she had managed to save. I knew in my heart this was money that she was going use to get us away from my father. I don’t know for how long she had been saving or where she even got the money but it added up to a little over $10,000.00. I continued saving every bit of money I could. I worked under the table and cut hair outside the salon. I wanted enough money so that Debbie and I could live off it while I divorced Harry and so here I am, trying to make good on my promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me. I hope you liked the chapter.


	10. Feeling Lighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea wakes up with a new feeling...hope.

Bea put her empty mug on the glass table. Allie and Bea are sitting side by side in the waiting room chairs. Allie turns to Bea. “You did it, Bea… you did the hardest part. You should be proud of yourself.” Allie said gently. Bea bursts into tears. Allie turns her chair to face Bea and places her hands on top of hers. “You are so brave. So many woman don’t have the strength to leave.” Allie says with tears in her eyes. Bea turns her hands so that she is actually holding Allie’s. Allie can help but smile. “Whatever Harry told you about yourself is not true. You are an exceptional person, full of value and worthy of love,” says Allie. Bea is now sobbing. Allie let go of one of Bea’s hands and strokes her hair soothingly. Allie’s hand lingers on Bea’s cheek at her jaw line. Bea turns her face further into Allie’s touch, her cheek is resting on the palm of Allie’s hand. “You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. I know it will be hard but you have to erase Harry’s words from your mind. You did nothing wrong,” Allie whispers. They sit in silence like this for a while, Bea crying while still holding Allie’s hand. Bea releases a slow breath, trying to compose herself. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” says Bea. Allie smiles softly. “You did this…you. I hope that I made it easier for you but ultimately it was your choice, your strength that allowed you to finally be heard.” Bea slowly got up from her chair and Allie followed suit. “It’s late, I should go home to Debbie or she’ll be worried.” Bea said walking toward the front door. “Are you ok to drive?” Allie asks with concern. “Yes, thank you.” Bea steps in front of Allie, facing her. Looking directly into Allie’s eyes she says, “I mean it. Thank you so much.” Allie’s heart flutters, Bea is standing so close. To Allie’s surprise, Bea slowly wraps her arms around Allie and pulls her into a tender hug. There is no space between their bodies and Allie feels a warm flush over her whole body. Bea kisses Allie on her cheek. Bea pulls away, turns around and walks out the front door, leaving a very confused Allie.

Bea arrives home shortly after leaving Allie’s. Once in the house, she turns the alarm off. Debbie is sleeping on the couch with the television on. Bea grabs the remote and turns the tv off. She doesn’t want to scare Debbie so rather than wake her up, she puts a throw blanket over her body and walks to her bedroom. Bea is exhausted. It has been an extremely emotional day and she is so glad it’s over. Allie is right, she did it. While undressing she hears her phone ring. She grabs it quickly, hoping the sound doesn’t wake her daughter up. The caller ID screen says “Allie Novak.” “Hello?” says Bea. “Hi Bea, I hope I am not disturbing you but I realized that we didn’t set up another appointment. We need to work on getting your medical records.” Allie says suddenly feeling awkward. “No we didn’t. What time do you want me to come by?” Bea asks. “How about you come by at 9?” Allie suggests. “That sounds good. I will see you tomorrow,” says Bea. “Ok, good night Bea,” says Allie. “Good night.” Bea hangs up. Bea climbs into bed and pulls the covers up to her chin. She thinks about the things Allie said tonight. She wants to believe Allie, that she is brave, has value and that she is worthy of love. Harry’s words have been so ingrained into her that it feels like she could never believe it. She knows that other people see something in her that Harry didn’t see. Franky and Bridget constantly tell her that she is a good person, that she’s beautiful and smart. Why can’t she see it in herself? Allie seems to see something worthy in her too. There’s something about Allie believing in her that makes Bea want to believe that she is worthy. Would Bea feel that way with anyone who is as kind and compassionate as Allie is to her? Or is it Allie? Bea thinks about how even Allie’s touch is kind, even tender. Bea replays the day in her head and eventually falls asleep.

Allie makes herself something to eat. The intensity of the last couple of hours has drained her. She was glad the hardest part was over. As she replayed the day in her head, her mind kept going back to the hug Bea gave her. It wasn’t so much that Bea hugged her, it was the way in which she hugged her. Straight women don’t women hug each other that way. It was a full body hug. She knew that Bea was communicating her gratitude through touch, thinking that words weren’t sufficient enough to thank Allie. But, Allie felt more of an intimacy behind it. Of course, she was probably reading into it because she wants Bea to feel something for her. Allie shakes her head as if to remove these thoughts. Allie knows she needs to not go there. It’s inappropriate and selfish. Allie turns on the tv and settles in her bed. Maybe watching a movie will quiet her thoughts. After a while Allie drifts off to sleep.

Bea wakes up early. She had no nightmares and feels unusually light and relaxed. She heads into the kitchen and is surprised to find Debbie awake and making pancakes. ”I was going to bring you breakfast in bed,” Debbie says with a look of disappointment. “Awww baby, that is so sweet. Thank you,” Bea says while hugging Debbie. Her heart swelled with love. She has such a wonderful daughter. “I thought it would be nice since yesterday must have been horrible,” Debbie says with sympathy. “It was very difficult, I am glad it’s over,” says Bea. “So what’s the next step?” Debbie asks. “I am meeting with Allie at 9 to talk about getting my records from the hospital.” Bea says. “Can I go with you today?” Debbie asks. “Yes. Why don’t we do something fun today? Bea suggest. “Like what?” Debbie asks. “Let’s take a drive and go to the Vanderbilt Museum. We can go to the planetarium. What do you think?” Bea asks smiling. She know Debbie loves the planetarium. “Yessss! I would love that.” Debbie says excitedly. Breakfast is ready and after they clean up, they both shower, dress and head to Allie’s office.

Allie wakes up thinking about Bea. She was eager to see her this morning. She put on her running gear and heads out to the beach. Feeling really good after her run, Allie heads to Starbucks and picks up the usual. Nikki , the barista greets her with a smile. “The usual?” Nikki asks flirtatiously. Allies nods. Nikki has been hitting on Allie for weeks. Nikki is really attractive but Allie has shied away from responding to her constant flirting. Allie hasn’t felt that she is up for dating anyone. Her last relationship ended so badly. Funny, she doesn’t feel that way with Bea. Allie is so drawn to Bea, she forgets all of her insecurities and excuses why dating is not a good idea. As Allie is leaving, Nikki smiles and tells her to have a good day in a flirty tone. Allie is not interested.

Bea and Debbie walk into the office and greet Grace. Grace smiles and says, “good morning ladies.” Grace notices a difference in Bea. Her posture, gait and voice sound more confident and lighter. Allie opens her office door smiling. “How are my two favorite ladies?” Debbie has a smile from ear to ear. It is obvious how much she likes Allie. Bea blushes and says hello. Once seated in the office, Allie asks “How are you feeling this morning, Bea?” Bea smiles and says, “ I feel..... hopeful.” “That’s great!” Allie beams. “Well, we need to move on to the next step. Getting your medical records. Hopefully that won’t be too difficult. New York state law requires physicians to give most documents that a patient request within 10 days. The hospital can charge you a reasonable fee but they can’t deny you the records if you show that you cannot pay.” Allie says. “There is no problem with me paying for the copies.” Bea says. “Good. I need you to call the hospital and ask for the records department. Explain what you need. They will probably need you to sign a release form. Ask them to fax, e-mail or mail them to my office. Do not go there to pick them up. I don’t want to take any chances that someone you know will recognize you.” Allie says with concern. Bea nods her head. “I understand. I will call them after I leave. I told Debbie that I would take her to the Vanderbilt museum. Should we not go?” Debbie looks disappointed at the thought of staying home. “I really don’t recommend it. Can you do something around here? There is a boat tour and it is beautiful out.” Allie asks. Debbie smiles. “That would be good. Please mama?” Bea laughs and says, “how can I refuse that face?” Allie smiles at the exchange between them. “Oh before I forget. I will have to get Debbie’s statement before I file the paperwork. I would like to file asking for you to have custody at the same time.” “Can we do it tomorrow, Allie?” Debbie asks worriedly. “Of course we can.” Allie smiled gently.”Ok, well we are finished for today. Bea, please call me and let me know that the hospital will fax over the copies of your file.” Allies walks Debbie and Bea to the door. “I will. Enjoy the rest of your day Allie.” Bea smiles and blushes when Allie looks her in the eye and winks. “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed some light from last chapter's darkness. I hope everyone has a great weekend!


	11. Debbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debbie recounts what she witnessed during the years of abuse.

“Mama, I forgot the bag we put the suntan lotion and towels in at the house. Can we go back real quick and get it?” Debbie says on the way to the car. “Sure baby, I can call the hospital from there as well,” says Bea liking that they live so close to the cottage. Once inside their house, Bea calls the hospital and is transferred to the records department. A woman answers, “records department.” Bea clears her throat. “Hi, I was a patient of the hospital on several occasions and I am looking to get copies of my medical file. What would I need to do that?” Bea starts to get uncomfortable as if Harry will know what she is doing. She knows she is being paranoid but the feeling still sits in her chest. “What’s your name and social security number?” Bea gives the woman the information. “Ok, Ms. Smith you will need to fill out a release form giving Methodist Hospital permission to make copies and release the documents. You can come in anytime between 9-6, Monday through Friday and fill out the form.” Bea’s heart starts racing. “I’m sorry, but I can’t come to the hospital. Is it possible you could fax or e-mail the form to me?” The woman replies, “yes that would be fine. Once you fill the form out, fax or e-mail it back to me. It will take 3-5 days for me to send the copied file to you.” Bea was relieved that she didn’t have to go to the hospital to get the records. “Let me give you the e-mail address.” Bea gives the woman Allie’s e-mail address and thanks her for her help. Relief washes over Bea. One more thing to check off before the divorce papers can be filed. Bea calls Allie and lets her know what happened. Allie offers to bring the form over after work. “No Allie, I can wait until tomorrow. I don’t need to inconvenience you,” says Bea. “Nonsense, it will take 5 minutes you are only a couple miles away.” Allie insisting. “Ok, I will see you later this evening then, says Bea. Bea hangs up and she notices that Debbie looks off. “Debbie, what’s wrong?” Debbie doesn’t say anything, her gaze is focused on the floor. “Baby, talk to me…” Bea moves closer to Debbie and lifts her chin up so Debbie has to look at her mother. “Please tell me, you’re scaring me.” Bea is genuinely getting worried. “I am scared to tell Allie what I saw….what if she thinks less of me for not doing anything to stop him?” Tears stream down Debbie’s face. “Do you think I think less of you?” Bea asks feeling horribly guilty. Debbie just nods. Bea puts her arms around her. “I didn’t know you felt that way. Baby, it is not your job to protect me. It’s my job to protect you. You are not responsible for any part of what has happened. I am so sorry you feel that way,” Bea says with tears in her eyes. “I was so scared when I saw you the last time you were in the hospital and I felt like it was my fault. Had I not left your side he would never had hurt you. He only hurt you when I wasn’t around.” Debbie is now sobbing. “Listen to me Debbie….you need to stop blaming yourself for any part of what he did. You are the light in my life Debbie. You are what made me keep going day after day. I should have gotten help sooner and that is my fault. Please never think you have done anything wrong.” Bea wipes the tears from Debbie’s face and kisses her forehead. “I love you so much Debbie. I hope one day you will forgive me for not leaving sooner.” Bea rasps. Debbie puts her arms around her mother’s neck and kisses her cheek. “I love you too mama…. can we stay here today? I just want to stay close to you.” Debbie asks wearily. “We can do whatever you want baby.” Bea says soothingly. Debbie turns on the tv and Bea heads to the bathroom. She sits on the toilet seat and starts sobbing into her hands. The idea that Debbie blames herself for not stopping Harry made Bea feel horrible. Debbie has been dealing with all of these feelings on her own. Bea started to feel anger toward herself, but mostly at Harry. Bea needs to help Debbie and thinks that talking to Allie tomorrow will be good for her. It helped Bea. She definitely needed to get Debbie into counseling. Bea calms down. She washes her face and walks back to the couch and cuddles up to Debbie.

They must have dozed off because Bea was startled awake by the phone ringing. “Hello?” Bea rasps. “Hi, I was wondering if I could talk to a hot red head with a sexy voice?” Franky asks coyly. “Well, I do have red hair, I don’t know about being hot with a sexy voice.” Bea laughs. “Ah Red, but you are hot. You just don’t know it yet.” Franky. “How are ya?” Franky asks. Bea sighs, walks into her bedroom and closes the door. “I am doing better than I thought I would be. Yesterday was emotionally exhausting but I told Allie everything.” Bea says with pride. “I wish you knew how proud of you I am, Red.” Franky says softly. “How is mini-Bea doing?” Franky asks. Bea sighs. “She blames herself. She thinks that had she never left my side, Harry would never have hurt me. She told me that today. I wanted to crawl under a rock, I felt so bad.” Bea says starting to cry again. “That must have been hard to hear. I’m sorry Red. I’m sure you told her that was bullshit…only not in a Franky way of course,” says Franky. “Of course I did. I don’t think she believed me though. She is supposed to talk to Allie tomorrow about what she saw. That’s how this all came up. She was afraid that if she told Allie, she would think less of Debbie for not stopping Harry,” says Bea. “Allie will be able to help her with that. Allie was Debbie when she was younger only her mother was not like you. She never left her husband. Please don’t tell Allie I told you. It’s not my place to, but I thought it would ease your mind knowing that Debbie has a friend in Allie. She will be just as safe with Allie as you have been,” says Franky. “Thank you Franky, that does help and it makes a lot of sense knowing why Allie is so compassionate.” Bea pictured a young Allie having to witness the same kind of violence both she and Debbie has. Allie has used her own experience to help others and that made Allie all the more beautiful. “Red, are you still there?” Franky asks. “Yeah, sorry…I just got lost in my thoughts. How are you doing? Behaving yourself or should I even bother to ask?” Bea laughs. “Awww Red, why do you paint me with such a devilish brush. I’m always well behaved. Unless of course I am around a hot red head with a raspy voice….” Franky teases. “Do you ever stop?” Bea laughs. “I will stop, when you believe me that you are a hot woman with a sexy voice. Until then….” Franky says seriously. Bea looks down at the floor and there was silence on both ends for a minute. Franky breaks the silence. “I should let you go back to mini-Bea. If you need anything, call me,” says Franky. Bea says shyly, “Franky…. I really love you….I hope you know that.” Bea can almost hear Franky grinning on the other end and she knows that Franky has a hard time believing she was loveable too. “Yeah well, if you keep hitting on me one day I may take you up on it. Bye Red.” Bea walks out of her room and looks at the time. It’s getting close to dinner time. Bea sees that Debbie is now awake. “So when are you going to feed me, I’m hungry.” Debbie whines. Bea rolls her eyes. “When aren’t you hungry?”

Dinner is almost ready when there is a knock on the door. Bea and Debbie look at each other. It’s too early for Allie to be here. Bea walks quietly to the front door and looks through the curtains in the window beside the door. She lets out a huge breath. It’s Allie. Bea turns the alarm off and opens the door. “I’m sorry I am so early and I should have called…I wasn’t thinking. I probably scared you showing up unannounced...” Bea says, “it’s okay, please come in. Dinner is almost ready. Please join us.” Allie stayed where she was. “I don’t want to impose. Debbie appears in the door way. “Don’t be silly.” Debbie takes Allie’s arm and leads her through the door. Both Bea and Allie instantly become shy. “Thank you. That’s very nice of you both.” Allie smiles. She extends her hand holding the form Bea needs to fill out for her medical records. “Here, luckily the form is short.” Bea takes the paper from Allie and their fingers brush for a second. Allie’s hand tingles with electricity and her body flushes with warmth. Allie thinks Bea may have had the same reaction because when she looked up into her eyes, Allie swears she saw Bea’s pupils dilate. Bea turns her gaze quickly and says, “I hope you like pasta primavera and garlic bread.” Allie says, “I’m not too picky when it comes to food. I will eat pretty much anything. If I had my way though, I would eat Sonic burgers every day.” Debbie laughs, “mama would kill me if I did that.” Bea smiles as she is placing the food on the table. While they are all eating, they make small talk. “What did you ladies end up doing today?” Allie asks between bites. Debbie looked at Bea. “We decided to stick to the house and rest,” Bea said. Allie caught the look between them and decided to not say anything. After dinner, Allie helped Bea wash and dry the dishes. “Thank you for dinner, Bea. I hope it wasn’t too awkward for you,” says Allie looking for any discomfort in Bea’s eyes. “Actually it was really nice to have the company. Debbie had a bad day today and she seems to have really taken to you.” Bea smiles. Allie loves Bea’s smile. It kills her that Bea doesn’t know how stunning she is with those high cheekbones and strong, angular chin. “I’ve taken to her too. She’s a really good kid. I know she is worried about talking to me tomorrow. I hope you know I won’t let her fall apart. She is safe with me.” Allie said gently. “I completely trust you Allie. I know you will take great care with her. You did with me,” says Bea. Allie smiles and their eyes are locked on each other for longer than a beat. Allie breaks the eye contact first. “Well, I should go. Thank you so much for dinner.” Allie says while walking toward the door. “See you tomorrow morning Debbie.” Allie smiles. Bea sets the alarm after the front door closes.

Bea is lying in bed and replays the night in her head. She thinks about the spark she felt when Allie’s fingers touched hers. How her body got all warm and she had to look away from Allie. She has never felt that before. She wonders if Allie felt it too. Bea sighs and turns on to her side. It doesn’t matter right now. What matters is Debbie getting through tomorrow. 

Bea wanted Debbie to talk to Allie without her there. She felt that Debbie would speak more freely so Bea dropped Debbie off at the cottage. Debbie sits in the waiting room talking to Grace. Grace could tell that Debbie was nervous so she indulged her in talk about a tv show they both watched. Allie walks in and as usual, has Starbucks but this time there are three cups instead of two. Allie greets the women and hands Grace her coffee. “I brought you a hot chocolate with whipped cream,” she says to Debbie. “Just don’t tell your mother,” Allie says with a wink. “Oh I know how to keep a secret…” Debbie starts out laughing and then solemnly looks at the ground. Allie understood what just went through Debbie’s mind. Allie puts her arm around Debbie and squeezes her shoulders. “Alright kiddo, let’s get this over with.” Allie says lightly. 

Debbie explains to Allie everything she had seen and experienced in the Smith house since she was a little girl. Allie listened intently without interrupting her. “I told my mother yesterday that I was worried you would think lesser of me because I did nothing to stop my dad from hurting her.” Debbie says worriedly. Allie’s heart hurt for this young girl in front of her. Having gone through the same life, she knew the burden she must feel. “Debbie, I want to tell you something and you tell me after if you still want to ask me that question…okay?” Debbie nods. “When I was growing up my father would beat my mother too. There isn’t an age that my memories didn’t involve watching my mother being terrorized. Even after I left to go to college he beat her. He only stopped because he died. I used to feel guilty because he never laid a hand on me. I felt responsible for not stopping him from hurting my mother. I hid it from my teachers. I hid it from my friends and I hid it from my relatives. I never said a word to anyone. I was afraid if I did, my father would start to hit me too or that my mother would be taken away from me. It took me a long time and lots of therapy to come to a point where I realized it was not my burden to bare. I did nothing wrong. I was a child. I had no control. I was very angry with my mother for not leaving him. I couldn’t understand why she stayed with such a vile person. I resented having lost my childhood and I blamed her. It wasn’t until he died and I helped her get on her feet that I understood that she was paralyzed in fear. She thought she deserved the abuse, that something was wrong with her. She told me that she hated herself for not leaving and taking me with her but she couldn’t find the strength to leave. I was blaming the wrong people Debbie. My mother and I were not to blame. We were the victims. Your situation is slightly different than mine was. Your mother did leave. She does have the strength. She finally found the courage and she took you to a safe place.” Allie said with tears in her eyes. “Now, do you still want to ask me that question or do you know the answer already?” Allie asks gently. Debbie shakes her head no and walks over to Allie. Debbie hugs her and doesn’t let go for a while. As Debbie pulls away, Allie sees the tears streaming down her face. “Are you okay?” Allie asks, handing Debbie a tissue. “Yes, thank you Allie. Thank you for telling me, you didn’t have to but I am glad you did.” Debbie sniffles. “Let’s call your mom and let her know we are done for the day,” says Allie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading. I am finding so much pleasure telling this story. I appreciate all of the positive feedback. I hope you are all having a good weekend.


	12. "I'm Fucked"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is planning. Allie is overwhelmed. Bea is offered a job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had many comments from people saying that they are enjoying the slow burn. I am enjoying writing it but there are moments I want them to kiss so badly, lol.

It was Monday and Harry had been on a bender since Joey told him that he had seen his wife and daughter. He didn’t go to work today. His head was killing him. Harry called Joey and told him to meet him for lunch at Champs, the sports themed restaurant close to home. Joey was reluctant considering they hadn’t spoken since Saturday night but in the end he always did what Harry said. Harry was sitting at a table watching ESPN, drinking a beer. Joey was late and Harry was getting pissed. Not that it took much for him to get angry these days. That stupid bitch. How did she think she would survive without him? She probably is fucking someone and he’s playing the knight in shining armor. Joey approaches the table. He looks uncomfortable and Harry is glad. Joey sits down, “Hey Harry. How have you been?” Joey can tell Harry is already half way to drunk and in a mood. “About Saturday, I’m sorry I made that stupid comment. I hope you aren’t holding it against me.” Joey says trying to see where he stands with Harry. “Don’t worry about it. I overreacted. I’ve just been worried sick about them.” Harry says trying to smile. Joey’s not buying. He’s known Harry for over 20 years. Harry has had a bad temper since he met him in the 5th grade and he holds a grudge. Joey orders a beer and a burger but Harry doesn’t want any food. Joey knows that it isn’t good that Harry’s not eating and drinking on top of it. “So what did you want to talk about?” Joey asks. “I want to find Bea and Debbie. I just don’t know how to do it. Should I file a missing person’s report? Hire a private detective? I just can’t sit on my ass and do nothing. Especially since she has Debbie.” Harry is frustrated. “I don’t know. Do you have money for a private detective? I don’t know that Bea would be considered ‘missing.’ Didn’t she tell her boss that she was taking a leave from work?” Joey asks. “I don’t want to spend the money on a private detective if I can avoid it. Hey, didn’t you say that you thought you saw Franky with her?” Harry had an idea. “I think so. I doubt Bea has another friend with tattoo sleeves.” Joey doesn’t like where this is going. “I think it’s time to have a little talk with dear old Franky.” Harry smiles.

That night, Allie meets Maxine for a drink. “I’m so fucked Maxine.” Allie says dramatically. “What happened honey?” Maxine asks with concern. Allie simply looks at her and Maxine knows what the problem is. Maxine sighs. “I want to tell you what’s going on in my head but, I need you not to lecture me because I am already doing that to myself.” Allie says hurriedly. “I promise Allie. I am here to help not give you shit.” Maxine smiles. “Ok, so I don’t think that I am attracted to Bea…. I am definitely attracted to Bea. I think she may be attracted to me too even though she probably doesn’t have a clue what she is feeling. I can feel it in her hugs and when our hands touch...” Maxine stops Allie mid-sentence. “I’m sorry, hugging and touching?” Allie’s face turns red. “It’s not what you are thinking Maxine. I’m sorry I hadn’t given you the context in which they occurred.” Maxine laughs, “Honey that makes a big difference. Look, I know that you aren’t doing anything wrong. It sounds like you feel like you are because you are having intense feelings right now.” Allie nods. “The more I talk to her, get to know her…the more intense the feelings get. I don’t know what to do to control them. I don’t think I can control them….hell, if I even want to control them.” Allie is getting overwhelmed. “Okay, okay….Allie calm down. Talking to me is a good start at releasing the pressure. Maybe it will take some of the power away.” Maxine pats Allie’s hand. “Maxi, you know I am not a U-Haul lesbian….I don’t fall in love after three dates. In fact, I am the opposite. It takes me time and a lot of patience from the other side before I admit that I love them. I am not saying I love Bea. I am saying that I miss her when I didn’t see her. I’m saying that I can’t focus on anything other than her case. I’m saying that…oh shit…..I’m fucked.” Allie groans. “As much as this is not the best scenario…I am happy to see that you can feel that way about anyone. I worry about you Allie Novak.” Maxine smiles. Allie smiles back. “I am sorry that every conversation lately has been about me. I promise when you contemplate having an inappropriate relationship with one of your clients, I will let you chew my ear off.” Allie says laughing. Maxine whacks her arm laughing. “Seriously Maxi. I want to know how you are doing. I am sure that it was a disappointment with Joey turning out to be a jerk.” Allie says with sympathy. “Yeah, it was. What are the odds that I would be out on a date with your client’s abusive husband’s friend?” Maxine shakes her head. “With your dating history…2:1.” Allie smiles without much humor in it. “Maybe you should try dating women?” Allie teases. “Right, because there is no drama in that.” Maxi smirks. “Besides, I would have to compete with your beautiful self.” Maxine winks at Allie. 

A few days have gone by since Allie e-mailed the release form for Bea and things have been quiet. But quiet didn’t necessarily mean good. Bea was on edge and tried to keep her and Debbie busy while still staying close to home. On Tuesday, Allie calls and asks Bea to meet her in town for lunch. Bea worries that something is wrong but she is looking forward to seeing her. She found herself missing Allie, having not seen her for a few days. Bea walks into the restaurant and sees Allie waving to her from the back. Bea sits down across from her and orders an iced tea. “Is everything okay?” Bea asks worriedly. “Yes, I received your medical records and wanted to talk to you about them.” Allie looks tense. Bea looks at Allie and her eyes silently ask “did you see the pictures of my injuries?” Allie’s eyes are pained and answers back silently “yes.” They don’t say anything for a moment. “I think we have more than enough proof to back our claim that Harry treated you cruelly and inhumanly.” Allie said with conviction. Although Bea heard her and should be relieved that they have what they needed, she was more concerned with Allie having seen the injuries. Partly because she was embarrassed and ashamed but also because she knew it would bring up painful memories for Allie. Bea felt protective of Allie suddenly. Allie sees that Bea is having an internal commentary and places her hand on Bea’s. The spark happens again but neither one pulls their hand away. “I am sure that it is hard for you to know I looked at the pictures but please believe that I don’t think any differently about you.” Allie says tenderly. Bea is amazed at how well Allie can read her. Other than Franky, no one has ever paid enough attention to Bea to be able to. “I appreciate that. Will you hold on to the file? I don’t want to be tempted to look at it and Debbie doesn’t need to see it either?” Bea asks. “Of course, whatever you need me to do.” Allie smiles softly. The server comes to the table to take their orders and Bea slowly pulls her hand from Allie’s feeling slightly uncomfortable.  
They order their lunch and chat about anything other than their pasts. After the server clears their plates away, Allie says, “I have something for you.” She pulls out a bag and hands it to Bea. Bea is both surprised and curious. “What is it?” Bea says while taking the bag. “See for yourself.” Allie grins. Bea pulls out of the bag a sketching pad and a variety of both charcoal and colored pencils. Bea looks confused. “You said that aside from loving your daughter and working in a salon those were the only things that gave you pleasure. You then said that you loved to draw but Harry had ruined that for you.” Allie put her hand on top of Bea’s again. “I thought you could take back something you gave up because of him. I thought it would be empowering.” Allie smiled. Tears welled up in Bea’s eyes. How incredibly thoughtful. How does Allie always know the right thing to say and the right thing to do? “The idea wasn’t to make you cry, Bea.” Allie gives a shy smile. “That’s one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me…..thank you.” Bea squeezes Allie’s hand with one hand and with her other hand wipes away the tears from her eyes. Allie rewards Bea with a big smile. “Well, I have to get back to the office.” Allie walks Bea to her car. Bea thanks Allie again. Allie suddenly feels shy and nods her head. Before Allie could walk away, Bea hugs her. “I could get used to this,” Allie thought. 

After dinner, Bea and Debbie go into town to get some ice cream. They are walking along the shops while enjoying their cones. Debbie sees a blonde haired lady waving at her mother from across the street. “Mom, there’s a woman in front of the salon trying to get your attention,” says Debbie. Bea looks across the street and sure enough it’s the Australian woman that almost dropped ice cream on her. Bea and Debbie cross the street toward the woman. “Bea, hi love.” Liz smiles. “Hi Liz, this is my daughter Debbie.” Debbie shakes Liz’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” Debbie says. “I thought you might want to see the inside of the salon. I know you are only staying in the Hamptons for a short while but, I am down a colorist and you have a talent….” Bea looks down at her feet. They all walk into the salon and Bea is surprised at how trendy looking it is. “It’s beautiful in here,” Bea says with appreciation. Liz says with pride, “We were written up in the New York Post. The review touts us as the best salon on Long Island.” Bea is impressed. “Oi, Liz!” a large woman yells across the room. Liz laughs and shakes her head. “That’s Boomer, she’s our star stylist,” says Liz. “Boomer?” Debbie asks. “Yeah love, her voice booms around the room when she talks,” Liz laughs. Debbie and Bea laugh as well. Boomer walks over to Liz. “When are we going to get a new colorist? I’ve had enough clients bitching at me that we don’t have one.” Boomer says with frustration. “Well, I was about to try and convince Bea here to help us out temporarily when you rudely interrupted us…” Liz doesn’t hide her irritation. Debbie tries not to laugh. “Oh, yeah, sorry Liz….I…um….I’m Boomer.” Boomer says to Bea and Debbie. Bea likes Boomer already. She kind of reminds her of Franky. “Bea did her own color Booms,” says Liz. “You did? I’m impressed. Well, you should come work here. We need someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing,” Boomer blurts out. Liz looks down and shakes her head. It is obvious to Bea that Boomer is always impetuous. “I don’t exactly know how long we will be here. It may be through the summer though,” Bea says feeling a bit of pressure. “Well, think about it Bea. We charge $300 for a cut and color and you would get half. Plus tips. We average 2-3 a day so it would be worth your while,” says Liz. Bea is amazed at the amount she could make in a week. Liz sees that Bea is thinking about it. “Let me give you my number love. If you decide to give it a go, call me,” Liz says. “Thank you Liz, I will think about it,” says Bea. Bea and Debbie walk in the direction of their car. “You should consider it mama, we may be here a while,” says Debbie. “True and we could use the money.” Bea says contemplating the idea. “Let’s run it by Allie and see if there are any downsides to me working there.” 

That night Bea calls Allie. “Hello?” Allie had just gotten into bed for the night. “Hi Allie, it’s Bea. I’m sorry if I am calling too late. ”Bea suddenly feels nervous. “Hi Bea, is something wrong?” Allie asks with concern. “No, everything is fine. I was just wondering…do you have an appointment at 9 tomorrow?” Bea asks. “Yes, why? Do you need to come in? I think I have an opening later in the afternoon.” Allie is still concerned wondering why else would she call so late. “No, it’s just that…I know you go to Starbucks every morning, can I meet you there? I don’t need much of your time. I just want to run something by you and I hate talking on the phone.” Bea says starting to regret calling Allie. “Ok, I can meet you at 7:30?” Allie says while stifling a yawn. “That would be good. Thank you. I will let you go. Sorry again for calling so late,” says Bea. “It’s fine Bea, really. I told you that you could call me any time….I will see you tomorrow.” Allie says. “Good night Allie," says Bea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say, it is wonderful to get so much encouragement from you all. Thank you for your support.


	13. Would you do this for anyone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The papers have been filed. Bea gets a job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter is so short. I wrote a longer one but wasn't happy with it so I rewrote it.

Bea is nervous about meeting with Allie this morning. She wasn’t entirely sure why. The topic of discussion is benign. She has been nervous around her a lot lately. Bea arrives at Starbucks right on time. She sits at a table that is visible from the store entrance. A couple of minutes later Allie walks in and Bea’s heart races. “Good morning,” says Allie in her always cheerful manner. “Good morning,” says Bea. Nikki sees Allie and comes around the counter to their table. “Good morning beautiful,” she says to Allie with a flirtatious smile. “Do you want the usual?” Nikki asks while making eye contact with Bea. Allie is uncomfortable with the term of endearment. “Uh, yeah and whatever she wants,” Allie says with a look like “this is weird.” to Bea. “I’ll have a cappuccino extra foam and a chocolate croissant,” says Bea. “Ooh, I want one too,” says Allie like a kid getting something special. Nikki looks at Allie and says, “must have run an extra mile this morning, not that you need to worry...you look great.” Allie blushes when she looks at Bea. Bea laughs but she actually felt a little pang of jealousy that Nikki was hitting on Allie. “That was really uncomfortable. She hits on me every morning and you would think she would get the hint by now that I am not interested,” says Allie. “Somehow I think that was for me,” says Bea. “Why do you think that,” says Allie knowing full well why. “She thinks I am competition and is trying to claim you,” says Bea nervously. “Why would she think that?” Allie says wanting to see Bea’s reaction. “I think anyone sitting with you would get her to react like that.” Bea says innocently. Allie finds herself disappointed. She wanted some hint that Bea was jealous. Allie knew she needed to change the subject. “So, what did you want to talk about?”“I met a woman the other day who owns the salon on the main strip downtown. She liked the color of my hair and asked if I had it professionally done and I told her that I did my own hair, that I was a licensed cosmetologist. She said she was looking for a colorist to work part-time in her salon and suggested I come work for her. I told her I would think about it,” says Bea. Nikki walks over with the coffees. The cups have the names of the drinks on them but Allie sees a phone number written on hers. God, Nikki is relentless. Allie ignores it. “That’s great, are you interested?” Allie asked smiling while putting a piece of the croissant in her mouth. “I think I am but I wanted to run it by you first. Is it okay if I work? Will it screw anything up? Am I putting Debbie or myself in any danger? What if Harry can find me through a job” Bea rambles. Allie laughs. “Slow down....yes, it is ok for you to work. In fact, you having an income will help with the request for custody. Not that you need any more proof than the pictures. I think that you working will help pass time until we get a. Plus, you need to have interaction outside of me and Debbie. It will do you good to build up confidence in yourself,” Allie smiles taking another bite. “You really think so?” Bea asks, doubting herself. “Absolutely. It will also show Debbie how much effort you are making to stand on your own to feet. She will be so proud of you,” says Allie. Bea smiles. She likes the idea that she is showing Debbie that she is taking control of her life. “The money is really good and I miss cutting and coloring hair.... Ok, I will call Liz and tell her yes,” says Bea with excitement in her voice. “By the way, I will have the papers filed this afternoon. The next thing to do is get a process server to hand deliver the papers to Harry,” says Allie. “That’s great Allie.” Bea’s mood changes. Allie sees the fear return to her eyes. “It’s going to be okay Bea. I know you’re scared but remember...this is a good thing.” Allie smiles softly. Bea tries to return the smile but whatever confidence that she has is beginning to wane. Allie tries to get Bea to smile and eventually Bea can’t resist. Allie shoves the rest of the croissant in her mouth leaving some chocolate on the bottom of her lip. Bea laughs and wipes it away with her finger. Allie stares at Bea, her heart pounding. Bea doesn’t look away and a wonderful flush invades her neck and face. Allie didn’t want to leave Bea but she had to meet someone at her office in 30minutes. “Well, as much as I would like to stay and talk with you, I have at appointment soon,” Allie says while trying to stand up. Her legs are unsteady and she feels light headed. Bea stands up and feels clumsy when she tries to push her chair back under the table. “Thank you for your help Allie.” Bea smiles shyly. “Anytime Bea.” Allie winks and walks Bea out the store leaving a flustered Bea. 

Bea heads home to feed her daughter or she won’t hear the end of it. Debbie is awake and starting breakfast. “I see you found the eggs alright,” says Bea teases. “Well, if I waited for you, I would starve to death,” Debbie says pitifully. Bea shakes her head and laughs. “Did Allie help you make your decision about the salon?” Debbie asks. “Yes actually, she did. I am going to do it,” says Bea with enthusiasm. “I’m going to call Liz after breakfast and tell her I accept her offer. Hopefully, I can head over to the salon today and fill out whatever paperwork she will need. If so, do you want me to drop you off at the beach? Or you could come with me and go see a movie or go to the bookstore,” Bea offers. “You can drop me off at the beach. I have a new book I can read,” Debbie says. “I can meet you after and sketch while you read,” Bea says casually. “Sketch?” Debbie asks. “Yeah, I used to love drawing when I was younger and Allie got me a pad with charcoal pencils yesterday.” Bea smiles thinking of how sweet it was of Allie. “That’s so nice of her,” says Debbie smiling. “Why did you stop drawing in the first place?” Debbie asked already guessing the answer. “Your father said my drawings were terrible, that I shouldn’t waste my time and after a while, I started to believe him and stopped.” Bea says with a frown. “I’m sorry mama. I hope that you can get back into it,” Debbie says. “Oh on a good note, Allie is filing the papers today and will get a process server to serve your father the paperwork,” says Bea. “That’s great mama.” Debbie smiles. Debbie is also dreading when her father gets the divorce papers. Bea sees it in Debbie’s demeanor and hugs her, trying to convey that it will be alright.

Bea calls Liz after breakfast. Liz was happy to hear from her. “Bea, it’s so good to hear from you love,” says Liz. “I would like to take you up on your offer to work part-time for you.” Bea says excited. “I’m so glad to hear that. Boomer will be too. When can you start?” Liz asks. “I can start tomorrow if that isn’t too early.” Bea asks hoping she isn’t being pushy. “That would be perfect. Can you come in and fill out some paperwork this afternoon? I will need picture ID, your social security card and a copy of your cosmetology license” Liz asks. “I can be there at 2, if that’s okay.” Bea suggests. “Perfect love. I will see you then,” says Liz. Bea can practically hear Liz beaming over the phone. 

Allie finished the Summons, Complaint, Petition for Custody, Petition for Alimony and the Order for Protection then files them electronically. Once Allie receives the file stamped copies she will contact a process server and set up a date for Harry to be served. She calls Bea with the good news. “Hello?” Bea rasps. “Hi. It’s Allie. I just wanted to tell you the papers have been filed.” Allie says excitedly. “That’s great, Allie. Thank you for getting it done so fast. I really appreciate it,” says Bea with less enthusiasm than Allie. “Are you ok?” Allie asks softly. “I am, I know I should be ecstatic and I am happy but I have learned that hope is a thing easily dashed and...I am actually scared of what the future may bring. Do you know what I mean?” Bea says quietly. “It is understandable Bea. You are going through so many changes right now. I’m sure you feel overwhelmed.” Allie can hear Bea sniffling and she knew she was crying. “I know everyone keeps saying that you will get through it and I think you don’t really believe that. That’s ok, just keep taking the steps to move forward and as good things come you will see that things do get better, brighter even,” says Allie. She hated hearing Bea cry. “Hey, are you going to be okay? Allie asks with concern. Bea sniffles. “Yeah, I just feel very emotional right now.” “I know. Is there anything I can do to help?” Allie asks. “Allie, you have done more than enough for me and Debbie. I feel like I can’t thank you enough. I will be okay. Oh, I wanted to tell you, I am going to go fill out paperwork for Liz later this afternoon so I can start work tomorrow,” says Bea. “I am so glad that you are taking the job. I think you will be happy with your decision. Listen, I need to go but if you need anything just call, okay?” Allie says sweetly. “I will….Allie?” Bea asks. “Yes?” says Allie. “Would you do this for any of your other clients?” Bea asks. “Do what?” Allie is suddenly warm. “Things like buying art supplies…..” Bea says quietly. “I think you know the answer to that Bea,” says Allie hoping that Bea will understand without her having to say it out loud. There is a long pause. “I’m sorry Bea, I need to go....okay?” Allie says sweetly. “Ok. Can I call you tomorrow and let you know how work went?” Bea asks worried that she crossed a line. “You can call me whenever you want.” Allie whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy. The next chapter will be longer.


	14. Fuck the labels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on a roll so I thought I'd post at a good breaking point. Ok, so it isn't a good breaking point for the reader. Sorry!

Today is the big day. Bea is both excited and nervous. Debbie makes her breakfast and wishes her mother a good first day. On the drive to the salon Bea’s mind wanders to the conversation with Allie. What did Allie mean by “I think you know the answer to that?” Bea is confused. She is also confused by her reaction to the barista hitting on Allie. She felt jealous and that is a new feeling for her. Bea feels both excited and nervous to see Allie lately and at moments she senses Allie feels the same way. Bea’s thoughts are interrupted when a horn blasts. She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice the light was green. Parking on the street, she walks to the salon. It’s 8am and the salon is not open yet. Bea walks in and is immediately greeted by Liz. “Good morning love. Let me show you where you can put your things and then I will introduce you to everyone,” says Liz showing Bea the way to the back room. Bea puts her things in a cubby hole. “There is a pot of coffee and a pot of hot water for tea over here if you want a cuppa.” Liz says pointing to a little kitchenette area. Boomer rushes in and says in a loud octave, “Some cow took my parking spot. I wanted to punch her tits in.” Liz puts her hand on Boomer’s arm and says, “can you bring it down a notch today? It’s Bea’s first day and I don’t want you scaring her off.” Boomer looks at Bea as if she just noticed she was there. “Uh...right, sorry. Morning Bea.” Liz shakes her head while she and Bea laugh. “Don’t mind her, she’s loud but harmless,” says Liz. “She reminds me of my best friend. If I can handle her, I can handle Boomer.” Bea smiles. “Ok, well let me introduce you around. They walk out to the front and a short older blonde woman is preparing her station for the day. “Kaz, this is Bea. She will be doing the hair coloring today,” Liz says. Kaz walks over and shakes Bea’s hand. “Nice to meet you Bea.” Kaz says with a thick Brooklyn accent. “Likewise,” says Bea. “This is my daughter Sky, she will be washing hair and cleaning up for the summer,“ says Kaz. Sky looks about Debbie’s age. “Hi,” Sky says shyly. “Well, that’s everyone for today.” Liz says walking over to what will Bea’s station. “This is your station. Everything you need is in the bin and on the counter. You have your client at 9. Let’s see what you’ve got Bea.” Liz smiles. 

The salon was busy and she colored three clients’ hair. All three were very happy and Liz seemed like she thought she made the right choice in hiring Bea. Liz told Bea to come back the next day at the same time. While walking back to her car, Bea realized that she was tired. It was a good kind of tired though. She felt productive and proud of the job she did. On the way home, Bea called Debbie to see if she wanted to go out to eat dinner. “Of course I do. I am starving,” Debbie says dramatically. “Ok, I will pick you up in 10 minutes,” says Bea. They decide to try a local Italian restaurant. On the drive over Bea told Debbie about her day. “Sounds like you had a good day mama,” says Debbie pleased. “What did you do today Deb?” Bea knew Debbie was probably bored and knew she needed to find something for her to do. “I read some and then watched tv,” says Debbie. “We need to find something for you to do. I am going to be working 4 days a week and I hate the idea that you will be bored. How about I get you a bicycle and then you would have more freedom to get to the beach or whatever? Your birthday is coming up so that can be an early birthday present. Also, we can continue with the driving lessons on the weekends as well,” says Bea. “That would be awesome! You are the best mother ever. I will Google where the closest bike shop is.” Debbie is smiling ear to ear. After they finished dinner, Bea and Debbie went to the bike store and Debbie got a bike, head light, reflective lights and a helmet. Debbie couldn’t wait to try out the bike so when they got home she went for a ride while it was still light enough.

While Debbie was out having fun with her bike, Bea called Franky and Bridget. “What’s up buttercup,” says Franky. “Hey Franky, I have some good news.” Bea says excitedly. “Well, thank fucking God. Spill it,” says Franky. “The papers have been filed and Harry will be served soon.” Bea says more enthusiastically than she was earlier. “Also, I got a job with a hair salon downtown. I will be working four days a week coloring hair.” Bea said grinning to herself. “Wow, you really do have some great fucking news. That’s fantastic Red,” Franky exclaims. “I started today, it was good. The people that work there are really nice. There is a stylist there that reminds me of you. She’s rotten, I really like her.” Bea laughs. “Don’t go trying to replace your best friend Franky. I am one of a kind,” laughs Franky. “There is no denying that Franky,” says Bea. “Hey, is Bridget around. I want to say hi.” Bea says feeling awkward. Bea has something she wants to talk to Bridget about. “Yeah, hold on.....Spunky, Bea’s on the phone. She’s wants to talk to ya.” Frankie almost yells into Bea’s ear. “Hold on Red, she’s coming to the phone now. Keep me updated on the Harry front. I love ya. Here’s Gidge.” Franky hands the phone over to Bridget. “Hi Bea, how are you?” Bridget asks surprised that Bea asked for her. They are close but knowing Bea hates to talk on the phone she usually just talks to Franky. “I’m good. I was telling Franky that Allie filed the paperwork today. Also, I started working at a hair salon in town,” says Bea. “Well that’s wonderful Bea. I am so happy for you. When will Harry be served?” Bridget asks. “Hopefully by the end of next week. I am so scared of what will happen.” Bea’s mood changed. “Let’s take it one step at a time Bea. You are doing so well. Enjoy it for now. I know I keep saying this but I am really proud of you,” says Bridget with such tenderness. “Thank you Bridget. I...uh...have something else to talk to you about. Is Franky in the room?” Bea asks nervously. “No, why?” Bridget asks. “Well, I have a question for you and I don’t want Franky overhearing and then giving me shit about it,” says Bea. “She’s not around, ask away.” Bridget says curious about what Bea wants to ask. “As you know I have only had experience with one person...intimately and I was never attracted to him. I don’t think I have ever been attracted to anyone. I was wondering how you know that you are...attracted to someone.” Bea is really uncomfortable. “Hmmm....well, you get nervous and shy around the person but you can’t wait to see them at the same time. Some people get sweaty palms or feel light headed. Sometimes you get jealous of their partner or of someone paying attention to them or vice versa. Then there is also the arousal factor. Your body often reacts before your mind does. Your eyes dilate, your body tingles, some people salivate and of course, you feel it in your groin.” Bridget is now really curious as to why Bea is asking. “How did you know you were attracted to women?” Bea asks. “ I had dated men in my 20s but I never felt sexually or emotionally connected. I met a woman through a group of friends and all of the things I described previously occurred. I was confused. I had never thought about being intimate with a woman before but there was something about her. She wound up being my first girlfriend. After that, I never dated a man again.” Bridget says dying to know what this is all about. “Bea, is there something you want to tell me?” Bridget probing. “I’m just curious...if you have always thought of yourself as straight and then suddenly you find yourself attracted to a woman what does that make you?” Bea asks feeling sorry she brought this all up. “I know straight women that have fallen in love with a woman and panicked and I have always said to them....see how you feel in the moment and if you have fallen for someone then, fuck the labels,” says Bridget. “Thank you Bridget,” Bea smiles to herself. “Can we keep this talk just between you and me?” Bea asks. Bridget hates keeping things from Franky but she knew how hard it must have been for Bea to ask her those questions. “Yes, it will be just between you and me.”

After Bea hangs up with Bridget, the phone rings. Shit, it’s Allie. “Hello?” Bea answers nervously. “Hi Bea. I just wanted to give you an update. I called the process server and he will be giving the papers to Harry on Monday,” says Allie. Bea starts to panic. She is silent and Allie begins to worry. “Bea?” says Allie. “In three days he will be served. What am I going to do. He’s going to kill me....” Bea is trembling. “ Bea, it’s going to be alright.” Allie is definitely worried. She can practically hear Bea shutting down. “How do you know? You saw what he is capable of doing. You have no idea. I should never have done this. I need to leave. I need to move somewhere else where he can’t find us....” Bea is yelling on the phone. Allie gets her purse and keys and heads out the door. “Bea, I’m coming over,” says Allie. Bea is now crying and pacing. “I will be there in 5 minutes. Just hang on.” Allie says panicking herself. Bea just hangs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I will pick up and post later today. I'm not that mean!


	15. An Emotional Weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Bea and I Allie have had an emotional weekend. Allie finds sound advice from an unexpected source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15 as promised. I am glad you all have not revolted against me. I was expecting pitchforks and torches after leaving you hanging.

Allie arrives at the house and sees Debbie on a bike riding in circles on the street. Debbie sees Allie get out of her car. “Hi Allie, what are you doing here?” Debbie asks. “I called a few minutes ago and told your mom that your father would be served on Monday and she freaked out. I want to see if I can calm her down.” Allie says with concern. Debbie walks through the front door with Allie right behind her. Bea is not in the living room. They check her bedroom and she isn’t there either. Debbie looks at Allie with panic in her eyes. “Where is she?” Debbie asks. Suddenly they both here the muffled sound of crying in the closet. Allie goes over to the closet door which is closed. “Bea...Debbie and I are here. Can you come out?” Allie says gently. Bea doesn’t say anything. “Mama, you are worrying me. Please come out.” Debbie pleads with her. Bea still doesn’t say anything but the sound of her crying is quieting. Allie sits on the floor beside the closet door. “It’s okay if you want to sit in there for a while. We’re not going anywhere. You were right Bea, I don’t know if it is going to be alright. That was unfair for me to say. I am not the one who has gone through the pain. I can’t imagine how scared you are. I only know what it looks like from the outside. My mother was beaten by my father until I was 19. I saw what she went through but I never knew the extent of her fear. I do know that you have come so far. In the few short weeks I have known you....you have already begun to stretch your wings. You are not captive anymore Bea. Look what you have done in such a short amount of time. You even have a job. You are going to be something else when you really feel free and Debbie and I will be with you every step of the way. Bridget will be there too and Franky will kick the shit out of Harry for even thinking of hurting you...” Allie says softly. Debbie and Allie both here Bea chuckle. “Bea, would you please come out of the closet...oops, that sounded weird, sorry.” Allie laughs. Debbie and Bea laugh along with her. The doorknob turns and Allie stands up and out of the way. Bea walks into the bedroom and Debbie immediately rushes to hug her. Bea is holding on to her daughter while looking over Debbie’s shoulder at Allie. Eventually Bea lets Debbie go and she and Allie have an awkward moment. Allie wants to hug Bea but she doesn’t know if she should. Bea makes the decision and hugs Allie tightly. “Thank you.” Bea says barely above a whisper. All three walk into the living room. Bea looks exhausted. Allie offers to stay until she falls asleep. “Thank you, but Debbie and I will be fine.” Bea tries to smile. “Ok, if you need anything, you call me....set the alarm and lock up after I leave.” Allie says with love. “Will do. Good night Allie.” Bea says. Debbie hugs Allie and whispers “Thank you for helping mama.” Allie smiles and then leaves.

The next morning Bea feels like she has a hangover. She wears more cover-up than usual to try and hide the dark circles under her eyes. Debbie and Bea have breakfast before she heads to work. Time flies at the salon. She has three clients in a row and they all tipped her very well. Liz is beside herself listening to the praise the clients give Bea. Since there aren’t any clients scheduled after 3pm, Liz gave Bea the rest of the afternoon off and schedules her for Monday. It’s Saturday and Bea had promised Debbie to give her a driving lesson. Bea has heard horror stories of parents teaching their children how to drive but Debbie is driving very well and should have no problem passing the driver’s test. Bea can’t believe that Debbie is going to turn 17 in just a few weeks. She is turning into a fine women in spite of the childhood she has had. Bea is so thankful that Harry never laid a hand on Debbie. She thinks if he did, she’d be sitting in a jail cell right now. 

Allie feels drained from last night. She was so scared Bea was going to have a breakdown or worse, hurt herself. She was relieved that she could calm Bea down. She was even able to make Bea laugh. Albeit not on purpose but she will take what she can get. She loves the sound of Bea’s laugh, it is so raspy and sexy. Allie is abruptly woken out of all things Bea by her phone ringing. Allie looks at the caller ID, it’s her mother, Ellen. “Hi mom,” says Allie. “Hi honey, how are you doing? I haven’t spoken to you in a while,” says Ellen. “Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. I think I have taken on more than I can chew with work. I have four new clients and all of them are at different stages of the divorce process. How are you doing?” Allie is happy to hear her mother’s voice. “I’m good honey. I was wondering if you had any plans for lunch tomorrow. I would love to see you,” asks Ellen. “You know what mom, that sounds perfect. Do you want to go out somewhere? Allie asks. “No, let me cook for you. I bet you haven’t been eating anything other than cheeseburgers lately.” Ellen laughs. “Yeah well….” Allie grins. “Alright honey, how about you come by at 2pm. I am really looking forward to seeing you.” Ellen says and Allie feels the same. “2pm sounds good. I love you mom.” Allie says all of a sudden feeling emotional. “I love you too honey,” says Ellen. Allie looks at the wrappers from the Sonic she had inhaled earlier and laughs to herself.

It’s Sunday morning, Debbie knew how exhausted her mother is and tries not to disturb her, hoping she could sleep as long as she needed. Bea had terrible nightmares last night and she had a hard time falling back asleep each time she would wake up from one. Once she accepted this was as late as her mind would let her sleep, Bea got out of bed. Debbie was reading on the couch. “Hey baby.” Debbie looked up from her book, “morning mama. I would ask you how you slept but from the sounds you were making last night, I would guess not very well.” Bea plopped on the couch beside Debbie. “Yeah, not a great night… What’s your plan for the day?” Bea asks. “I was thinking of going to Starbucks with my book and hanging out. I am half way through and really want to finish it today. How about you?” Debbie asks. “Can I tag along? I am going to try drawing, see if it will quiet my mind.” Beas says hoping she isn’t suffocating her daughter. They spend an awful lot of time together and Debbie is too sweet to say that she needs space. Bea loves it but Debbie is a teenager and probably needs more space than Bea does. “That sounds great mama. We can head over there after you shower.” Debbie holds her nose. Bea grabs a throw pillow from the couch at Debbie’s head. “Rotten child.” Bea says laughing.

Allie arrives at her mother’s house a little before 2pm. She stopped at a local florist and picked up a bouquet of tiger lilies, her mother’s favorite flower. “Oh honey, that’s so sweet of you. You didn’t need to go to through the trouble.” Ellen says with a big smile on her face. Allie knew her mother loved it when she brought her flowers. “Lunch will be ready in a few minutes.” Ellen says while walking into the kitchen. “What are we having?” Allie asks, she can smell something good wafting out of the kitchen. “I bought some fresh salmon from the market this morning. I thought we could have that with new potatoes and asparagus. Is that alright?” Ellen asks wondering if she should have made something else. “That sounds delicious. It may be the only vegetables I’ll eat this week,” Allie laughs. “Please don’t tell me things like that, you know I worry about you.” Ellen playfully swats at Allie’s arm. “Please don’t worry about me mom. I am doing really well, I promise.” Allie says seriously.  
“What about your love life? Are you seeing anyone?” Ellen stops preparing lunch and looks at her daughter. She knows that Allie has a hard time letting people in and when she has, she’s picked the wrong women. “Mom…” Allie says uncomfortably. Ellen knows this is a touchy subject but she worries that Allie will continue to avoid having a relationship and she wants her daughter to find someone to love, who will love her back. “Honey, I’m sorry. I am not trying to be one of those mothers that ask you when you’re getting married or having kids. I’m scared that you are avoiding intimacy because I fucked up.” Ellen says with tears in her eyes. “I know mom…..I am actually having a dilemma right now.” Allie says as she helps bring their plates to the dining room table. “What is it honey? Maybe I can help.” Ellen says while sitting down. Allie sits opposite her and readies herself for the lecture she thinks she’s going to hear. “Will you let me finish before you respond?” Allie asks. Ellen nods and puts her hand on Allies. “I have a new client. She took her 16 year-old daughter and left her abusive husband. He doesn’t know where she is but she is terrified that he will find her. She recounted what her life has been like with him and it nearly broke my heart. I saw the pictures from her medical file. Her husband is an animal.” Allie says viscerally. “She is such a beautiful, kind, affectionate, smart, talented woman and he beat every ounce of confidence she has out of her. You can tell how loving she is just by spending time with her daughter. Her daughter is a mini version of her with a wicked sense of humor.” Allie takes a breath. “Mom, I haven’t felt so comfortable and safe around another person in a long time. When I am with her I want to…feel. I want to connect. Yes, I am very attracted to her physically but it is more about…I don’t know how to put it. I feel like I found my home. I know it sounds childish but I really don’t know what words to use that will accurately express my feelings toward her. I would be on cloud nine that I met such a wonderful woman but all I can think about is how we can’t be together. She’s my client mom. I will not break my professional code of conduct. I have worked too hard to get where I am. I would have to wait until I am no longer representing her. Basically I have to wait until the divorce is final and custody is settled and who knows how long that will take. Then there is the fact that she has been through hell and back. The animal has been raping her since she was 16.The only form of intimacy that she has experienced that was safe and healthy has been with her daughter. I am imagining that it will take years to be physically intimate with anyone, if ever. She will need to go to therapy to deal with her trauma. If all of that wasn’t enough to stop us from being together….she’s straight.” Allie wipes the corner of her eyes with a napkin. “Ok, tell me I’m crazy. Tell me that the only reason I am drawn to her is because I want to fix her or whatever psychological reasoning applies.” Allie says defensively. Ellen looks at her daughter with such love and affection. “Allie, from what I’ve heard you have already analyzed your reasons for wanting to be with her, berated yourself for thinking unethically and assumed that she couldn’t feel the same for you because she is married to a man. I don’t have any desire to lecture you honey. I am sorry that you are having all of this inner turmoil and I don’t doubt that this woman is worthy of your love.” Ellen puts her hand on Allie’s face and strokes her cheek lovingly. “Do you want to know what I would do if I were you?” Allie nods and tries to keep her tears at bay. “I would stop beating myself up for having feelings for someone wonderful. I would resign myself to doing my job to the best of my ability and help her in any way I can without crossing any ethical boundaries and when I was done representing her…I would see if I still felt the same way and talk to her and see how she feels. Honey, you have done nothing wrong. The circumstances are the problem and if she really is not capable or doesn’t want a relationship with you, be her friend. It sounds like she really needs one.” Ellen leans in and kisses Allie’s forehead. Allie grabs both of her mother’s hands, “Thanks mom,” Allies whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep thanking you all after for reading each chapter but I can't express my surprise and gratitude that you are enjoying my version of Ballie. I hope you keep reading. I love writing this story.


	16. Harry Got Served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is served with the divorce papers. He doesn't handle it too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short one today. Between the tornado warning, flooding and hail and that my employer actually expects me to be productive while I am at work...I didn't have as much time to write.

Harry is at his desk when he is called to the reception area. Harry grumbles as he walks to the front. “Harry Smith?” the man says handing him an envelope. Harry takes it, “yes?” As the man walks away he says, “you’ve been served.” Harry looks dumbly at the envelope and heads back to his office. He closes the door and opens it. “What the fuck!” Harry explodes. The envelope contains divorce papers. He kicks the desk chair and it topples over, hitting the wall. Joey’s office is on the other side of Harry’s and he hears Harry yell and then a loud bang against the wall. He quickly walks to Harry’s office. “What the hell is going on, Harry?” Joey asks. Harry thrusts the papers against Joey’s midriff. “The fucking bitch is trying to divorce me and is seeking an order of protection. The worst part is she’s trying to get custody of Debbie.” Harry says loudly. “Ok, calm down Harry. This is not the right place to have a meltdown. Why don’t we go across the street to the deli and talk there.” Joey dreads having this conversation in any location. “Don’t handle me Joey. I’m not in the mood,” Harry growls. He kicks the desk. Joey walks out of the office and on the way out he says, “suit yourself Harry.” Joey is sick of Harry and his temper. “Fuck him,” Joey thinks to himself. Harry decides he’s going pay a visit to Franky’s place tonight and put an end to this bullshit. 

After work Harry drinks a 6-pack of beer and heads to Franky’s place. He is sure that Franky knows where Bea is and he’s going to get her to tell him. “Fucking dyke,” he mutters to himself. He parks outside the condo and stumbles out of his car. “She’d better be home,” he thought to himself. He finds her door and starts banging his fist on it. He can hear someone walking around inside. “I know you’re in there you dyke bitch,” Harry yells. Franky hears Harry’s voice and motions Bridget over to her. “Use your phone to videotape everything from where he can’t see you,” she whispers. Bridget nods her head and hides. Franky yells, “I’m coming, I’m coming. Hold your fucking horses.” Franky opens the door wide. “Where is she?” Harry demands. He tries to enter the condo but Franky blocks him with her leg. “Where’s who?” Franky says acting dumb with a smirk on her face. “I’m going to wipe that fucking smirk off your face,” Harry yells. “Oh, and how are you going to do that Harry? You going to hit me, like you hit Bea?” Franky says taunting Harry. “Did that make you feel like a big man, huh? Beating someone half your size? Fuck off Harry. Crawl back into the hole you crawled out of.” Franky says and tries to close the door. Harry explodes. He kicks the door in and tackles Franky. He has her pinned down and he punches her in the eye. Franky looks toward Bridget who is heading towards them, terrified of what Harry will do to her girlfriend. Franky shakes her head no. She wants to get this on video. Franky is able to wiggle out from underneath Harry long enough that she can knee him in the groin. Harry covers his groin protectively while lying in the fetal position. “Call the police Gidge,” says Franky. She must have kneed him hard enough because Harry vomits from the pain. “Now see what you’ve gone and done Harry. You ruined perfectly good carpet. Too bad you wasted your time coming over here. I don’t know where your wife is and if I did I sure as fuck wouldn’t tell you.” Franky says calmly despite the adrenaline pumping through her veins. Franky closes the door and continues taunting Harry until the police arrive. Bridgette brings a package of frozen peas over to Franky for her eye. There is a knock at the door. “Police,” a man says through the door. Franky opens it and an officer introduces himself as Will Jackson. Jackson looks around and sees Harry on the floor. “What happened?” Jackson asks. Franky explains the altercation that took place. Bridget plays the video and Jackson notices the swelling and discoloration under Franky’s eye. “Do you need medical attention? Jackson asks. Franky says no. Then she explains how Harry had beaten his wife pretty badly a little over a year ago and that she finally had enough and left, taking her 16 year-old daughter with her. “Harry came over here to intimidate me into telling him where Bea is,” says Franky. “That’s bullshit, she kicked me in my balls so I hit her.” Harry whines. “I just looked at the video Mr. Smith. Doesn’t look like that to me,” Jackson says with disgust. “Mr. Smith looks familiar. Was Mrs. Smith taken to the hospital with a collapsed lung and a concussion? She claimed that someone had broken into their house and attacked her?” Jackson asked. “Yeah, she lied because she was scared and begged us not to tell anyone what really happened.” Franky said holding the peas against her eye. “I remember that incident because I knew she was lying and that she was terrified every time Mr. Smith spoke. Do you want to press charges against Mr. Smith?” Jackson asked knowing what the answer would be. “Sure as fuck I do,” says Franky. Jackson pulls Harry off the floor and puts handcuffs on him. “Harry Smith, you’re under arrest for assault and battery.” Jackson says and then reads Harry his Miranda rights. “Will you ladies come down to the station and file a report?” Jackson asks. Franky and Bridget both say yes and gather their handbags and keys. At the station they give their statements and a copy of the video from Bridget’s phone. Harry will be staying at the county jail until arraignment.

The women go back to the condo. After Bridget locks the front door, she turns to Franky and takes her in her arms. “How are you feeling?” Bridget asks as she kisses Franky’s cheek. “Well, the adrenaline’s gone and my eye hurts. Other than that I’m okay,” Franky answers. “I was so scared Franky.” Bridget says trembling slightly.  
“I have to admit that I was scared too. He’s a big man and he was very angry, says Franky without her usual self-bravado. “Franky, I think you should to go to bed and get some rest,” says Bridget more as a command and less like a suggestion. “I want to tell Red what happened. She needs to know and maybe it will put her mind at ease knowing that Harry’s in jail tonight,” says Franky. “I’ll call her, you go lay down,” says Bridget. Franky walks to the bedroom, turns and asks “after you talk to Red, come to bed…please.” “Yes love.” Bridget sits down for a minute to get her bearings. She has never been so scared before. Bridget dials Bea’s number. “Hello?” Bea rasps. She is laying on the couch watching the news waiting for Debbie to come home. “Hi Bea, it’s Bridget.” Bea can tell by Bridget’s voice that something is wrong. “Everything okay?” Bea asks. “Well, it will be. Harry came over to the condo tonight and….” Bea interrupts, “What? Are you and Franky alright?” Bea’s heart is pounding. “Yes, we are both okay. He came over to get Franky to tell him where you are. I guess he got served today, he was drunk and angry. Franky told him to fuck off and he lost it and attacked her.” Bea’s hands are shaking. “Did he hurt her?” Bea starts pacing. “Bea, she is alright. He punched her in the eye and she will have a shiner but other than that she is fine. She did manage to kick him in the nuts.” Bridget says laughing lightly. “I was able to videotape the whole thing and we gave it to the police. Franky pressed charges and Harry is sitting in the county jail until his arraignment,” says Bridget. “It’s all my fault….I’m so sorry Bridget.” Bea feels awful. “Bea, it’s not your fault, it’s Harry’s. Franky will survive, you know she’s tough as nails. Please don’t blame yourself.” Bridget says trying to reason with Bea. “I got you both involved. I shouldn’t have left. I am so sorry. Harry was right, I fuck everything up.” Bea says through tears. “No, Harry fucks everything up. I promise you we are okay. I will have Franky call you tomorrow. Please don’t beat yourself over this.” Bridget says firmly. Bea says okay but she still believes that she is to blame. “Oh and Bea…the officer that arrested Harry remembers you from the last time you were brought to the hospital. He said you could use him as a witness. He knew you were lying about the break in and that you only said it because you were scared of Harry. That’s a good thing Bea,” Bridget says trying to find the silver lining. “Yeah, I guess so. Please tell Franky I am so sorry,” says Bea. “I will honey, good night,” says Bridget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for continuing to read my Ballie story and for all of the wonderful comments. Wentworth fans are the best!


	17. You're Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea has an illuminating conversation with Allie. The next day Bea gets an unexpected walk-in at the salon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unspoken words, unrevealed feelings....glimpse into your heart.

Bea feels awful. She expected Harry to go after her, not Franky. Thankfully she only got a black eye. Franky and Bridget must have been so scared. “It was very clever of them to video Harry,” Bea thought to herself. Then again, Franky is very clever. Bea hopes that Harry will get jail time. She would feel a wave of relief knowing that he can’t hurt anyone from inside a jail cell. Even if it was only a little while. Bea is also feeling good about the police officer remembering her and his willingness to come forward as a witness at her divorce hearing. Maybe it will sway the judge to grant all the things she’s asking for. Bea wonders how Debbie will feel about her father potentially going to jail. She will deal with that when Debbie gets home. Debbie had come to visit Bea at the salon this afternoon and met Sky and they hit it off. Sky invited Debbie to hang out with her tonight and Bea is happy that Debbie will have someone her age to spend time with. 

Bea calls Allie to tell her what happened. “Hello?” Allie answers, “Hi Allie, I hope I’m not disturbing you,” says Bea. “Hi there, everything alright?” Allie asks happy to hear Bea’s voice. “Well, yes and no. Harry attacked Franky at her place earlier,” Bea says tears springing to her eyes. “Oh my God, is she alright?” Allie asks alarmed. “She has a black eye and is shaken up, but overall okay,” Bea wipes the tears from her eyes. “Is Bridget okay?” Allie asks. “She is also shaken up but Harry didn’t touch her. Bridget videotaped the whole incident and turned it over to the police. Harry is in the county jail right now,” Bea says with a sense of satisfaction. “The officer that arrested him remembers me from the last time Harry beat me. He offered to be a witness at the divorce hearing,” Bea has the same feeling of relief wash over her as she did when she talked to Bridget. “That’s great Bea!” I think Harry just made it easier for us. Thank you Harry.” Allie says wryly. “Does Debbie know?” Allie asks. “Not yet. She made a friend today and is out with her right now.” Bea says happily. “A new friend? That’s wonderful Bea,” says Allie. “How are you feeling?” Allie asks softly. “I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I am glad Harry’s in jail. On the other, I feel like it is all of my fault that Franky was hurt,” says Bea. “You did nothing wrong Bea. You can’t blame yourself for his actions. Just be thankful it turned out the way it did.” Allie says firmly. “That’s what Bridget said and I’m trying to convince myself of that, but after years of being told that everything is my fault, it’s hard for me to believe it isn’t,” says Bea. “I understand, I saw my mother go through the same thing. No matter how many times I told her something positive about herself, she would get uncomfortable and I knew she didn’t believe me.” Allie says with sadness. “Did it ever change for her?” Bea asks with hope. “Yeah, it did. It took her years to be able to take a compliment or accept something nice being done for her. But, she didn’t have the strength that you do.” Allie says with conviction. “I’m not strong. If I were I would have left him sooner.” Bea says shaking her head as if Allie could see her. “You’re wrong Bea. You are strong. Not only did you push through day after day married to that animal, you were able to function in the real world. You raised a beautiful, caring, smart young woman, you had a job and you never gave up. That takes strength.” Allie says with admiration. “What I told you the other night, how you have already grown stronger since I met you. It’s true and it is beautiful to watch. I feel lucky.” Allie says feeling a little brave. “What’s so beautiful about it?” Beas asks baffled by Allie’s perspective. “You are Bea.” Allie says quietly. Bea blushes and is glad that Allie can’t see her. “I’m not beautiful.” Bea says adamantly. “Bea… I want you to promise me that you will listen to me for a minute. Can you do that?” Allie says seriously. “Yeah, I can,” says Bea feeling uncomfortable. “I have no obligation to you other than giving you the best representation I can possibly give for a client. I don’t owe you anything and I gain nothing from telling you that you are beautiful. I am telling you because it is true. I am not being polite or saying things to make you feel better about yourself. I am telling you because it’s true. Actually no, I take it back. You are not beautiful. You are stunning. Absolutely breathtaking. People look at you when they pass by. Men look like they are going to trip over themselves when they see you. You don’t notice because you don’t see it in yourself. Do you think Franky is lying to you when she says that you are hot and have a sexy voice? How long has she been saying that for…. for years? She may have a girlfriend now but she noticed you way before then. The thing is Bea, you are more than being beautiful on the outside. You are beautiful on the inside. Despite the violence and the berating from someone who was supposed to love you, you are a loving, compassionate, kind and affectionate woman. People are drawn to you…. I’m drawn to you….” Allie stops knowing she said too much. Allie’s heart is thumping in her chest as she waits for Bea to respond. “Allie…I think…you’re beautiful too.” Bea says surprising herself. Bea hears the front door open and close. Bea sighs, “Debbie’s home…I should go tell her what happened. Allie…?” Bea says, her voice deeper from emotion. “Yes Bea.” Allie says nervously. “I heard you….thank you,” says Bea softly.

Bea tells Debbie about her father hitting Franky and getting arrested. Debbie’s reaction didn’t surprise her. Debbie hates her father and hopes that he rots in jail. Debbie tells her about her night with Sky and apparently they have a lot in common and got on very well. Both Bea and Debbie were exhausted so they said their goodnights and went to bed. It took a long time for Bea’s mind to stop racing from the events of the night. She thought about Franky, but mostly about Allie and the wonderful things she said to her. She thought about how she told Allie that she was beautiful. Bea doesn’t know where that came from but she felt it deeply. She didn’t quite understand what it meant but when she closed her eyes and sleep started to take over she thought of blonde hair and crystal blue eyes.

“Bea…” Liz says trying to get her attention. They are in the backroom. Bea is having a cup of tea and apparently is lost in her own world. “Sorry Liz…” Bea is slightly embarrassed. “It’s okay love. You have a walk-in and they asked for you specifically. “Oh, okay. I will be right out.” Bea takes the last sip of her tea, rinses the mug out and puts it on the counter. She walks to the waiting area. “Allie…what are you doing here?” Bea asks and then realizes that she’s her walk-in. “I heard there is a fantastic hair dresser that works here and I wanted to see what all of the fuss was about.” Allie winks. Bea’s face flushes and asks “do you really want me to do your hair or are you just teasing?” Bea is confused. “I’m here for a cut and color please,” says Allie smiling. “Ok, put your things down at my station and then follow me. Allie sets her things down and follows Bea to the sink area. “Have a seat.” Bea says suddenly very nervous. Allie sits and Bea tilts the chair back. While waiting for the water to reach a comfortable temperature Bea asks, “what do you want me to do…I mean to your hair…and about the color?” Bea’s face flushes again. Allie laughs. “How about you surprise me?” Bea wets Allie’s hair and then applies shampoo. Massaging the shampoo into Allie’s hair, Bea gets lost in her thoughts. That is until she hears a low moan come from Allie, whose eyes are closed enjoying the feeling of Bea’s fingers on her scalp. A warmth spreads through Bea’s body at the sound. She’s sure her neck and face are the color of her hair. Bea rinses the shampoo out and applies conditioner. Bea’s curious if she continues to massage Allie’s head and Allie moans, will she get that wonderful warm feeling again? Bea uses her fingers slowly and firmly, rubbing in the conditioner when Allie releases another moan. “Bea…that feels soooo good.” Allie says sensuously. Bea feels the warmth again but this time it’s between her legs. Bea needs to get herself together. “I’m going to uh…let the conditioner sit in your hair for a bit. I will be right back. Bea quickly walks to the backroom and into the bathroom. Once the door is closed, Bea releases a long breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Her mind went back to the conversation she had with Bridget. “Oh my God,” Bea thinks to herself. “I think I am attracted to Allie!” Bea tries to calm herself down. When Bea feels like she has settled down enough she walks back to the sink and rinses the conditioner out of Allie’s hair. Bea pushes the chair back up and puts a towel around Allie’s head. “Follow me Allie.” Bea rasps. Bea removes most of the moisture from Allie’s hair with the towel and puts a comb through it. “Do you really want me to decide what to do with your hair?” Bea asks. “I trust you.” Allie says staring intently at Bea through the mirror. Bea doesn’t know how much more of this she can take. She feels slightly dizzy. After cutting some length off, she decides that her already blonde hair would look even better lighter. Bea applies the color and sets the timer. They both make small talk waiting for the timer to go off. There are long lingering looks but no mention of the conversation from the night before. Bea is grateful because she is not ready to think about, much less talk about anything she is feeling toward Allie. The timer goes off and Bea rinses and styles Allie’s hair. Holding a mirror to the back of Allie’s head she asks, “so, what do you think?” Allie smiles widely. “Oh my God Bea, it looks amazing!” Boomer walks by and says, “Damn Bea, her hair looks much better!” Both Bea and Allie look at her and Boomer realizing what she said came out wrong says, “oi, I didn’t mean it like that Blondie. I meant it looks great.” Allie looks at Bea and they start laughing. “Thanks Boomer,” Bea says while covering her mouth laughing. “It’s okay Boomer, you just have a way with words,” says Allie giggling. “You’re all done Allie.” Bea says. “Thank you, you’re very talented with your hands. I’m glad I got to experience them.” Allie winks and heads to the register. Allie pays and leaves a generous tip. “Thanks Bea,” says Allie, leaving behind a very flustered Bea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched the promo showing Franky and Will talking in the cemetery about justice. I felt sick. There have been many characters that I have fallen in love with that died. I got over it fairly quickly. I can't seem to shake the sadness over losing Bea Smith. I thank every Wentworth fan out there for giving me a place to mourn not only Bea but the most beautiful relationship I have ever seen on TV.


	18. I Am Attracted to Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Allie haven't seen each other in a few days and they find themselves missing each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate writing chapter summaries. Just thought I would put that out there.

Bea woke up to the smell of bacon. She wandered into the kitchen to find Debbie making breakfast. “I could get used to you making me breakfast every day,” says Bea smiling. “Well, I figured if I want to eat, I need to make it myself because no one around here seems to care if I starve,” Debbie says while pretending to pout. “You know, when you go to college you’re major should be in theater. You are such a drama queen,” Bea laughs. “At least you acknowledge that I am a queen,” Debbie grins. “So, what are your plans today?” Bea asks. “Sky is off today and she invited me to the beach with her and some of her friends. Is it okay if I go?” Debbie asks out of respect but knowing that her mother would say yes. “Of course baby, just let me know when you are coming home for dinner,” Bea smiles. After breakfast, Bea gets ready for work. While showering, Bea’s mind wanders to thoughts of Allie. She hasn’t seen or talked to her since she did her hair and she misses her. Bea gets flushed thinking about her. The sounds Allie was making when Bea washed her hair or ran her fingers through it were swirling around in her head. Bea has never felt aroused in her life and just thinking about Allie has left her feeling warm. She wants to call her but she really has no reason to other than asking if she’s heard anything from the court. Maybe that’s what she’ll do on her lunch break.

It has been three days since Allie has last seen Bea. She feels herself missing the redhead. She thoroughly enjoyed having Bea’s hands run through her hair and couldn’t help flirting with her. Allie finally got her answer, Bea is definitely feeling something for her. Bea doesn’t have to say anything. Her body language and blushes told Allie everything she needed to know. Allie has wanted to call Bea for the past three days but really had no reason until today. The hearing date has been scheduled for early next month. Maybe she will call Bea and ask her to lunch. No harm in having lunch with a client to discuss their case, right?

Bea arrived at the salon a little early and was enjoying a mug of tea when her cell phone rang. “Hello?” Bea rasps. “Hi Bea, it’s Allie,” she says. Bea’s heart starts pounding and she feels a flush through her body. “Hi Allie,” says Bea, her voice raspier that usual. “Do you have plans for lunch? I want to update you on your case?” Allie says hoping the answer is yes. “Uh, no I don’t have any plans. Lunch sounds good.” Bea says hoping not to sound too eager. “Great, how about I meet you at the salon. If you are feeling adventurous, we can eat at the pub around the corner. I’ve never had British food before,” says Allie. “That sounds good, my break starts at 1:00. I’ll see you later.” Bea says with a grin on her face. “I’ll look forward to it,” Allie says smiling to herself. 

Although the morning was going by quickly, it wasn’t quick enough for her liking. In between clients, Bea checked her phone. There was a message from Franky.

[Harry plead guilty at his arraignment. Could be up to six months in county jail. But more likely 3 months.] 

Bea lets out a sigh of relief. Bea types a message back to Franky. 

[Thanks for letting me know. This is great news. Hope your eye is better :( So sorry about that.]

Franky texts back immediately.

[Nah Red, it makes me look bad ass! Let’s talk later. Gidge and I were thinking about coming to see you this weekend....You miss me and you know it!]

Bea laughs to herself. She does miss Franky.

[Miss who? I would love to see you both. I will call you tonight. Gotta go, need to get back to work.]

Bea was starting to get nervous waiting for Allie. She kept looking at the clock to see if it was 1:00 yet. Boomer notices, “What’s up your arse? You’ve looked at the clock like a dozen times in the last 5 minutes.” Bea feels like she has been caught doing something wrong. “Nothing Boomer, just hungry and want to go to lunch,” says Bea hoping it sounded nonchalant. “Blondie meeting you here?” Boomer asks. “Why do you assume it’s Allie?” Bea asks wondering if her co-workers could see how she is feeling. “Because I heard you on the phone. How else would I know?” Boomer looks at Bea puzzled. At exactly 1:00 Allie walks through the door with a big smile on her face. Bea flushes....again. Bea scolds her body for betraying her., “Are you ready Bea?” asks Allie. Bea just nods her head. They walk to the pub and when they reach the door, Allie holds it open for Bea. They find a table near the window. They both start talking at the same time. “Sorry, you go first.” says Allie laughing. Allie feels like their on a first date. “Franky text me that Harry plead guilty at his arraignment.” Bea said happily. “That’s fantastic Bea. Hopefully he will do some time and you can be worry free for a few months.” Allie smiles. “It would be nice to relax and not look over my shoulder for a while,” Bea says thinking about her old life. This new life has been so liberating. The idea of ever going back to it is worse than when she lived it. Now that she has experienced freedom, she knows she can’t go back. “Where did you go Bea?” Allie asks softly. “What? Oh, sorry. I was thinking about how I can’t wait to be done with Harry and my old life,” says Bea. Allie smiles. “What were you going to talk to me about?” Bea asks when the server appears before Allie could answer. “Excuse me ladies, what can I get you to drink?” The server looks at Allie first. “I’ll have an iced tea.” The server looks at Bea. “I’ll just have water,” says Bea. “Are you ready to order?” Allie tells him that they need a few minutes to look at the menu. They are alone again. “So, you were going to tell me why you had me meet you for lunch,” says Bea. Allie had to control the urge to tell her why she really asked her to lunch. “Your court hearing is scheduled for the 19th next month. We’re making progress Bea.” Allie says with a smile. Bea can’t help but smile back. “So what do we need to do to prepare?” Bea asks with a little concern. “The most important thing you have to do is think about what you want to say in court. Your medical file and Harry being in jail will probably be enough for the judge, but I think hearing you talk about how it made you feel, your concern for yours and your daughter’s safety will have the biggest impact. Plus the police officer’s testimony would be the cherry,” says Allie. “I hope you’re right Allie. I can’t go back to that life again…” Bea’s eyes well up with tears. Allie puts her hand on Bea’s. “I won’t let that happen,” says Allie. The women order their lunch, while waiting Bea tells her about some of her clients and how funny Boomer is. Allie talks about how Nikki is getting less “subtle” in her attempts to woo her. “Do you remember the night I finished telling you about what Harry did to me and you said I could ask you anything once I finished?” Bea asked cautiously. “I do.” Allie is not sure where this is going but she is intrigued. “I was wondering if I could ask you something now…” Bea said sheepishly. “Of course you can,” says Allie. Bea pauses for a while and Allie waits patiently. “How….” The server interrupts placing their plates in front of them. Bea is almost glad because she feels awkward asking Allie her question. Once the server is out of earshot, Allie starts her question again. “How did you know you were gay?” asks Bea. Allie must have looked surprised because Bea immediately said, “I’m sorry. That was too personal. Harry always said that I was socially inept….” Allie interrupts Bea. “It’s okay. You did nothing wrong. I get that question a lot from straight women,” says Allie smiling softly. “You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to,” says Bea. Her face turning red. “I didn’t know until I was in college. I fought it for a while, thinking it was a phase. I couldn’t possibly be attracted to women. I tried to have relationships with men but it did nothing for me emotionally or physically. In my third year of undergraduate school, I met a woman in one of my classes. I was instantly drawn to her. We became friends and spent a lot of time together. I started missing her when I wouldn’t see her for a couple of days. I thought about her constantly and I didn’t understand why. One night we went out to a club and we were dancing together and we were both a little drunk. As we were dancing she got behind me and spooned her body into me from behind. Her hands were on my hips and we swayed to the music together. My body felt like it was on fire and I felt light headed. I thought it was the alcohol. She put her chin on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, ‘do you want to get out of here?’ I didn’t know where we were going, all I knew was I wanted to be wherever she was. We wound up going back to my dorm room. Once I closed the door she turned me around and pinned me to the wall. I was so turned on, I could barely breathe. When she kissed me, I knew how I felt about her. I wanted her.” Bea was entranced by Allie’s voice and she could feel a pull in her abdomen. “We wound up dating until the end of the school year. She ended things with me and I didn’t handle it very well. I cried for weeks until I realized that she hadn’t been good for me in the first place. I learned two things from that experience…one, that I was a lesbian and two, that you need to really get to know someone before you enter a relationship with them. It can’t just be about attraction. It has to be something deeper.” Bea was silent. “I hope that wasn’t too explicit for you.” Allie trying to gauge Bea’s reaction. Bea cleared her throat as it had gone dry. She was warm and light headed from what she could only think of as being aroused. “Um, does your family know?” Bea asked and immediately berated herself for asking a dumb question. But, she needed to steer the conversation away from anything sexual. “I don’t have any siblings and my father died before I came out. The only family I have contact with is my mother and yes, she knows,” says Allie. “Is she okay with it? Not that she shouldn’t be of course.” Bea really wishes she hadn’t brought any of this up. “She is totally accepting of it. She is always trying to get me to find a good woman and settle down.” Allie laughs. Bea smiles and asks, “Why aren’t you with anyone?” Bea is really curious to know the answer. “After a few failed relationships, I started to wonder why I was having trouble finding a healthy one. I thought hard about it and realized that in order to have a healthy relationship, you needed to be healthy yourself and I wasn’t. I had a lot of issues that needed to be addressed. I started to see a therapist and over the years had worked to understand myself. Once I understood, I worked on how to be the best person I could be. The better I felt, the better partner I would be. I also learned what I wanted and didn’t want in a relationship. I decided that I wouldn’t settle for less because I was lonely.” Allie said hoping Bea understood what she was saying. “That makes sense”, says Bea. The server appears to see if everything was alright. Both women said yes, everything was good. “Did either of you ladies like dessert?” Allie wiggles her eyes at Bea and asks if she wants to split something. Bea laughs. “I’m too full but if you want something go ahead.” Allie tells the server that she will pass as well. “Will this be one check or two?” The server asks. Allie immediately says “one.” The server walks off to get the check. “Allie, you don’t have to pay for my lunch.” Bea says shyly. “I want to Bea.” Allie smiles. “Next one will be on me then.” Bea rasps. “So there’s going to be a next one, huh?” Allie winks. She knows she should stop but she just can’t help herself. Bea’s face flushes but she doesn’t answer. “I need to get back to work. Thank you for lunch. English food is pretty good,” says Bea. “It’s my pleasure,” says Allie. Allie settles the check and they head out on to the street. “How’s Debbie doing?” asks Allie. “She’s doing well. I am so glad she is making friends. That reminds me, Debbie’s birthday is next week. I wanted to do something special for her. Would you like to join in on whatever we do? Franky and Bridget will probably come too.” Bea asks wondering if it was appropriate. Then realizing that if that was an inappropriate question, then the question she asked earlier was off the chart inappropriate. She laughs to herself. “I would love to. Thank you for asking.” Allie is smiling brightly. They arrive at the salon and say their goodbyes. Allie is starting to walk away when Bea gently grabs Allie’s wrist. Bea pulls her into a hug. “I hope there is a next time.” Bea whispers. It’s Allie’s turn to blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three more days .


	19. It's Toturous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie is having a really hard time. Franky and Bridget come to visit.

The drive back was excruciating for Allie. She replayed those words over and over, “I hope there is a next time.” Every time she thought about it, her skin would heat up and she would feel a tug in her abdomen. “Was she deliberately flirting with me or did Bea say it innocently?” Allie wondered. Whatever the intention, it got Allie so aroused that when she got back to the office she couldn’t focus. She didn’t have anyone coming in for another hour so Allie decided to lay down in the back. “Grace, I’m not feeling well. I am going to lay down. I will be out by the time Mrs. Saxon comes in.” Allie said hoping Grace wouldn’t ask her any questions. “Ok Allie, can I get you anything?” Grace asks concerned. “No thank you, I think it may be something I ate for lunch.” Allie reassures her. Allie couldn’t get out of the waiting area fast enough. She unlocked the door to her bedroom and shut it, locking it again. Allie took off her shoes and laid on top of the covers of her bed. Allie tried to think of anything other than Bea and those words. She needed to get herself together and let the arousal dissipate. After ten minutes or so, she realized it wasn’t working. She decided that the only way to end the state she was in was to satisfy her need. Unbuttoning her trousers and pulling the zipper down, Allie slid her hand inside her pants and under her panties. She felt lime she was being selfish but she needed to relax. She slid her hand further and pushed her fingers lightly into the folds of her labia. She felt a pool of moisture and with her middle finger gently coats her inner lips and moves up to her clit. She let out a sigh. Her finger lightly circles the hood making her clit start to swell. Dragging her finger back down, she slid her middle finger inside herself. She began to move in and out at a slow pace. She could feel the pull in her abdomen grow stronger. She adds her index finger and continues to push in and out. Withdrawing her fingers she moved her fingers back up to her clit and less gently pressed circles around her clit occasionally stroking the top of it. Her breathing started to increase as she felt her walls start tightening. She slides her fingers back to her entrance and moves her fingers in and out. Pulling out, she goes back to her clit and circles increasing the pressure and she holds her breath as she got closer. She could feel that she was about to come and she clenches her inner walls to increase the power of the orgasm. The orgasm erupts through her body, her walls contract and her clit pulsates. When the contractions cease, Allie started to cry. She put her forearm over her eyes and let the emotion pour out. She didn’t know exactly why she was crying but it was from more than just the release. She thought of Bea and how much she felt for her. She has denied herself the possibility of loving someone for far too long. She hadn’t want to take a chance on anyone for fear that they would hurt her. But with Bea, she wanted to take that chance. She wanted to feel vulnerable. She knew Bea wouldn’t hurt her, at least not deliberately. Maybe she was crying because she can’t do anything about her feelings right now. Maybe because she knows she has to do right by Bea and by herself. It feels torturous and maybe she needs to stay away from Bea until right before the hearing. That would be the best thing to do…but Bea will see it as a rejection and without Allie telling her why, she wouldn’t understand. Bea will blame herself, that she did something wrong. Bea already thinks that she is unlovable and a burden. Allie doesn’t know what to do. She knew that she needed to calm down. She had other clients she needed to be strong for. Allie got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She cleans herself up and takes a deep breath. Feeling more settled, she unlocks her door and walks out into the waiting room. As she locks the door back up, Grace asked Allie if she was feeling better. “Yes, I am. Please let me know when Mrs. Saxon is here.” Allie goes into her office and shuts the door.

It’s Saturday morning and Bea is looking forward to seeing Franky and Bridget. Bea wanders into the living room and finds Debbie sitting on the couch trying to wake up. “The girls will be here soon. Do you want to see if they want to go to the beach today?” asks Bea. “That’s fine, but first can we go into town and have breakfast? I’m tired of cooking.” Debbie says while yawning. “I will call them and see if they have eaten yet.” Bea says grabbing her phone. “Red, you miss me so bad that you couldn’t wait an hour to talk to me?” Franky laughs. “Did you guys eat breakfast yet? Debbie is starving and wants to get breakfast in town.” Bea says with an emphasis on the word starving. “No, we haven’t. We’ll pick you up so we don’t have to take two cars. We’re leaving the house in 15. See you later Red,” says Franky. Bea and Debbie get ready and 45 minutes later they hear Franky’s car honk. Bea and Debbie get into the back seat, the four of them greet each other. Franky turns around from the driver’s seat and smiles, ”Hey Red.” Bea sees the yellow and green discoloration under Franky’s eye and immediately feels guilty. Red sees the look in Bea’s eyes and says softly, “I really am okay.” Bea nods then looks away. As they head into town the women chatter about how good it is to see one another. Franky pulls up in front of the restaurant. It’s swinging busy and the hostess is taking names. People are jammed in the entry way and when Bea hears “Allie, table for one. Allie, table for one" she looks around. Her eyes fall on to a beautiful blonde with blue eyes. She smiles when Allie’s eyes meet her own. Franky of course, notices. Allie walks over. “Hey Novak. Bea didn’t tell us you were meeting us here.” Franky says and turns to wink at Bea. “I wasn’t, it’s just a coincidence.” Allie says without shifting her eyes from Bea’s. Bea is blushing and says, “Please join us.” Allie eyes Bridget and Debbie to see if it’s okay. They chime in “yeah, join us Allie.” The hostess announces Allie’s name again. Allie knows she shouldn't but she can't say no. “Ok, if I’m not imposing.” Allie says shyly. Allie walks over to the hostess to tell her she is joining the party of four under Franky’s name. Meanwhile, Franky is grinning like a Cheshire cat. Bridget notices the exchange and asks, “Alright you two, what’s going on?” Bea’s face is getting redder. “Nothing Gidge, nothing at all…right Red?” Franky says pushing her tongue against her cheek while smiling. Allie walks back over and ten minutes later the hostess yells “Franky, party of five.” They are seated at the table and order their drinks. “It’s good to see you ladies,” Allie says to Franky and Bridget. “You too, what have you been up to Novak?” Franky is wearing a shit eating grin on her face. Bridget is still trying to figure out what is going on. “Not much, mostly working.” Allie says wondering what all of the grinning is about. “I hear you and Harry had a tussle on Monday,” says Allie. “Yeah well, he underestimated how badass I am.” Franky tries to make light of it. “That was pretty smart of you to have Bridget videotape everything.” Allie says impressed. “I’m not just a pretty face Novak.” Franky teases. Bridget groans. “Can we talk about something else?” Bea asks looking uncomfortable with the subject. “Sorry Bea.” Allie says and puts her hand on Bea’s arm. Remembering that she needs to control herself, pulls her hand back to the table. Franky and Bridget look at each other. Bridget is starting to understand what has gotten into Franky. The server returns and asks, “Are you ladies ready to order?” Debbie says with exasperation, “I am.” The women order and continue catching up with what has been going on since Franky and Bridget last visited. “You’re birthday is next Saturday, have you decided what you want to do to celebrate?” Bridget asks Debbie. “I thought maybe during the day go to the fair that’s coming to town. My friend Sky wants to hang out that night. I would love it if you all could be there.” Debbie says looking at Allie then Franky and Bridget. “Wouldn’t miss it mini-Bea.” Franky smiles. “I don’t know yet Debbie. I will let you know if I can.” Allie says unconvincingly. She looks at Bea and Bea looks confused. Allie looks away. The women finish eating and the server asks if it’s going to be separate checks. Bridget says no while extending her hand toward the server to get the check. “You don’t need to do that Bridget,” Allie says. “It is my pleasure Allie.” Bridget smiles. The women gather outside the restaurant. “It was great seeing you both.” Allie says to Franky and Bridget, hugging each one of them. “Interested in a walk in the morning?” Franky asks Allie. “You don’t want to run Franky? I thought you were a runner?” Allie teases. “Whatever, you wanna go or not?” Franky mutters with embarrassment. Bridget laughs and kisses Franky on the cheek. “Sounds good. I’ll meet you at 7,” says Allie. Franky groans. Allie starts to walk away. Bea turns to her intending to hug Allie but Allie moves out of the way. “Bye Bea. Have a good weekend.” Allie smiles and walks off to find her car. Bea looks hurt and confused. Debbie convinces everyone to go back to the house and get what they need for a day at the beach. 

At the beach Debbie spots a friend of Sky’s that she met the other night and heads off to say hi. She comes back to see if it is okay for her to go hang out with her. “Go have fun Debbie,” says Bea. Once Debbie is out of earshot, Franky looks at Bea and says, “Spill it. What is going on between you and Novak.” Bridget swats Franky’s arm. “Franky leave Bea alone. If she wants to talk to us about anything, she will let us know.” Bridget says to Franky. “I don’t know what you are talking about Franky. I don’t even know what you mean by ‘going on.” Bea says having a hard time making eye contact. “Don’t give me that shit. I saw the way you looked at her in the restaurant. You’re into her aren’t you?” Franky pressed. “It’s not like that Franky,” Bea rasps. “Yeah, it fucking is.” Franky says seriously. “Franky stop. You’re brow beating Bea into talking about something she clearly doesn’t want to talk about.” Bridget says irritated. They are all quiet and Franky stares at Bea unrelenting. Bea draws a deep breath. “I don’t really know what’s going on with me. I have been trying to figure it out.” Bea says with a frown. Both women wait for Bea to continue. When I am around her I feel…I don’t know….warm and safe. My heart races when she looks at me and I feel a jolt of electricity when she touches me. At first I thought it was because she was helping me and she made me feel safe but as I am feeling surer of my choice of leaving Harry…I realize that it isn’t that anymore. It’s Allie.” Bea looks at Bridget. “That was the reason I talked to you about how you know if you are attracted to someone.” Franky looks at Bridget and then back at Bea with wide eyes. “You wound me Red. You went to Gidge first to talk about having homo feelings?” Franky shakes her head. “Don’t think I’m not heartbroken that you rejected my advances all of these years claiming ‘I’m not gay’ when just needed to get away from asshat to realize you are.” Franky teases. “I’m right here you know.” Bridget says pretending to get annoyed. Franky looks at her girlfriend with adoration and says, “I wouldn’t want you anywhere else Spunky,” then kisses Bridget. “It doesn’t matter anyway. She is clearly not feeling the same way. I feel like an idiot. Why would I think that someone that beautiful and kind would want me anyway?” Bea’s eyes fill with tears. Franky leans forward in her chair and puts her hands on Bea’s cheeks. “Don’t ever say that. Shithead put those thoughts in your head. They are not true.” Franky says softly and with such sincerity, Bea’s tears start falling. “I saw the way she looked at you back at the restaurant. She feels the same way, trust me.” Franky says with confidence. “I saw it too Bea. But, she may be trying to hide her attraction because she can’t have a relationship with you while representing you in the divorce. There are serious consequences for her if the bar finds out that she is having a relationship with her client. Not to mention she knows you are going through something incredibly difficult and she probably doesn’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability,” says Bridget. “How chivalrous of her.” Bea says with sarcasm. “Actually Bea, it says a lot about her character. I don’t really know her but I think I read people pretty well and with what I do know…Allie is a really good person. Maybe you should talk to her. At least think about it,” says Bridget. “Thank you guys. I appreciate you talking things through with me, it gives me something to think about.” Bea says looking at her friends with love. How she got so lucky, she wonders.


	20. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie talks to Franky and Bea talks to Bridget. They both know they have to talk to each other. Bea invites Allie over for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Allie is sitting on the sand overlooking the water. She is deep in thought when she hears Franky calling her name. “Novak!” Franky is lazily approaching Allie. Allie stands up and brushes the sand off her butt and legs. “Good morning.” Allie says without her usual cheerful demeanor. Franky notices that Allie’s eyes look flat, not having the usual sparkle in them. Franky deliberates on whether or not to get Allie to talk to her. She decides that she will wait and see if Allie talks to her without Franky asking what’s wrong. “Ready to go?” Allie asks. Franky nods and they are both quiet while they walk. The silence is not awkward so much as they have things to say and both know the other is not saying it. Franky tries to be patient but it is not in her nature so she finally breaks the silence. “You’re awfully quiet this morning.” Franky says casually. Allie doesn’t respond at first. “Yeah, I have a lot on my mind,” Allies says. “Would you like to talk about it? I know I can be a dick sometimes but I am actually a good listener and an even better problem solver.” Franky throws a wink at Allie. “I don’t know if you are the right person for me to talk to Franky.” Allie says. “It’s about Bea, isn’t it?” Franky says gently. “I’m not really in the mood to walk Franky. I’m sorry.” Allie stops, avoiding her question.” Franky stands in front of Allie. “Look, let’s just sit and watch the waves, it’s relaxing and we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Okay?” Franky says with a supportive smile. Allie looks at Franky for a few seconds and then says, “Okay.” They head closer to the water. Finding a suitable place, they sit on the sand. Allie plays with the sand around her, pulling out some shells and playing with them. She is overwhelmed and her head and shoulders drop and she starts crying. Franky slides closer to Allie’s side and puts her arm around Allie’s shoulders. No one speaks for a while and Allie’s tears start to subside. “I think I am falling in love with Bea.” Allie sniffles. The confession lingers in the air for a while. “Franky, I think you know that I am not one of those divorce attorneys that take advantage of vulnerable clients, swooping in and being the knight in shining armor. I don’t want to sleep with her and then when she gets back on their feet, leave moving on to the next one.” Allie says looking at Franky, eyes pleading for belief in her words. “Allie, I know that. I have gotten to know you pretty well over the years. You are one of the good ones. I can see how much you care about Bea by the way you look at her.” Franky says letting Allie know that she believes her. “But, I can’t do anything about my feelings for Bea. Professionally it would be a disaster, I am scared of hurting her and I have no idea how she feels about me. I think she does have feelings for me, but maybe I am misreading her body language.” Allie says. “I think you need to talk to Bea. You can’t play the guessing game. This is obviously tearing you apart. If she does reciprocate your feelings then you can wait until after the divorce is final to see if a relationship is what you both want to pursue. If she doesn’t, you will at least stop wondering what could be and work on letting the feelings for her go.” Franky squeezes Allie’s shoulder. Allie leans her head on to Franky’s shoulder. “You know, it’s too bad you were such a dog back then. You are actually quite wonderful. I can see why Bridget loves you so much.” Allie says softly. “Yeah well, I know you are sorry you didn’t get some Franky action but hitting on me now is not appropriate. I have a girlfriend now, ya know.” Franky jokes. Allie leans away from Franky and gently elbows Franky in the ribs. “There’s the dickhead I remember.” They both laugh.

Debbie left to spend the day with Sky, leaving Bea and Bridget alone. They decide to go to Starbucks and sit outside. Bridget sits at an unoccupied table, saving them a place. Bea entered the line to order their drinks. Nikki unfortunately was working. Making eye contact, Nikki frowned and her eyes dart around to see if Allie is with Bea. When it is Bea’s turn to order she tries to pretend that she doesn’t notice Nikki’s demeanor. Nikki smiles, “you’re alone today?” Bea smiles back without any sincerity. “I’m not alone. My friend is waiting outside.” Bea knows that will make Nikki wonder if it’s Allie. Bea places her order and walks to the side of the counter after paying. Bea is amused as Nikki keeps trying to peer out the windows from where she is standing, trying not to look obvious. Bea’s order is ready and as she heads out of the store she laughs to herself. Bea places Bridget’s drink on the table along with a croissant. Sitting down Bea says, “I couldn’t resist. Who knows when Franky will get back and I am hungry, thought you might be too.” Bridget smiles and says, “thank you.” They sit in silence enjoying their drinks. It’s a comfortable silence and there is a lovely breeze. “I’m sorry Franky pushed you to talk about Allie yesterday. She can be kind of pushy, but she really loves you.” Bridget says. “You don’t need to apologize for Franky. I am used to her style of communication.” Bea laughs and then looks seriously at Bridget. “Does it bother you when Franky flirts with me? I hope you know she doesn’t mean anything by it and I worry that it gets to be too much.” Bea asks nervously. “Not at all Bea. At first it was a little off putting but I understood what she was doing. She loves me and I trust that she wouldn’t stray. I think we are the only people that gets to see the true Franky and not the false bravado. In the beginning, I think Franky was genuinely attracted to you but it turned into something different. She looks at you more as part of a family that she has needed for so long. That was more important to her than a quick fuck.” Bridget looks at Bea to make sure she didn’t embarrass her. Bea blushes but seems to be fine. “Now instead of trying to get into your pants she flirts because she wants you to know that you are worth paying attention to. It’s been killing her all of these years to watch you being treated so horribly. She’s wanted to kidnap you and Debbie for at least as long as I have known her. But, she knows that you have to make the decision to leave Harry on your own,” says Bridget. “I know how frustrated she has been. I just couldn’t do it and then I realized after the last beating that eventually he would wind up killing me.” Bea says, tears filling her eyes. Bridget reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “No need to look backward Bea. You made the decision and that is what is important,” says Bridget emphatically. “Have you given any thought to what you will do once the divorce is final?” asks Bridget. “No, I guess I never thought past getting away from him. It was such a surreal and implausible idea that I would be free of Harry. I know that I need to figure it out.” Bea says, the wheels in her head turning. “I do know I don’t want to live anywhere near Harry. It will depend on whether I can get alimony and child support as to where Debbie and I will live. Debbie will have to switch schools for her senior year. I hate doing that to her but I see no other choice. She will be off to college after that,” says Bea. “Do you like living here?” asks Bridget. “I do, very much. I also really like working for Liz, the owner of the salon. I make excellent money and I think Liz is happy with my work.” Bea says feeling a sense of pride. Bridget smiles recognizing that Bea was proud of her abilities. It was not often she saw it. “Will you be able to afford living here without additional income from Harry?” Bridget asks. “Only if I can get an extra day a week at the salon and start building a clientele,” says Bea. “It might be a good idea to ask Liz if she would be open to that.” Bridget says with encouragement. “Of course, there is also the elephant in the room we have not talked about. If you want to that is.” Bridget says nonchalantly. Bea slides a little lower in her chair. “I’m not sure how to deal with my feelings. I thought she felt the same way as I do but yesterday her behavior was different. She shied away from my hug and she changed her answer as to whether she would join us next Saturday. I had asked her on Friday if she would celebrate Debbie’s birthday with us and she had said yes. Yesterday, she suddenly will have to get back to us. It was weird.” Bea says struggling to understand the change in Allie. “Do you want to know what I think?” Bridget asks. Bea nods her head. “I think she is struggling too. I saw how she looked at you. You really need to talk to her, but first you need to figure out what you want. Do you think you can be in a relationship with anyone, let alone a woman? I am thinking that sex with Harry wasn’t pleasant. Can you give yourself to someone physically? There is a lot to consider Bea. What if you aren’t able to be intimate with Allie? That will make things very difficult. Sex is an important form of communication between two people that care about each other.” Bridget says softly. “I haven’t thought that far ahead. I just know I want to be around her and that my body reacts to her. I don’t know how I would respond to being touched, even if it was in a nice way. I have never been interested in sex. I was 16 when Harry first raped me and from there on sex was a horrible thing for me.” Bea says and once again tears spring to her eyes.” Bridget puts her hand back on Bea’s trying to tether her to the present. “I’m so sorry Bea. I can see why you are so confused and scared.” Bridget feels angry at how such a wonderful person has been treated so violently. “I don’t know when or how is the best way to talk to her. I think you will figure out when the time is right. You will have to prepare yourself that she may not feel the same way you do though.” Bridget says. “I know.” Bea says sadly. “Thank you Bridget. You’ve given me a lot of things to think about,” says Bea squeezing Bridget’s hand.

Bea’s friends left later that afternoon and she is exhausted from the talk with Bridget. She knew she had a lot of thinking to do but that could wait for tomorrow. Right now she just wants to take a nap and shut her mind down. 

Monday afternoon Bea receives a call from Franky to let her know that Harry has been sentenced to four months. Bea is ecstatic. This gives her time to sort out things in her head and have put a plan in place. She needs to talk to Debbie too. It’s her future as well and Bea needs input from her. She will talk to Debbie tonight. Liz walks into the backroom, “what has you smiling this morning love?” Bea deliberates on whether to tell Liz and decides to tell her an abridged version. “The reason I am staying in the Hamptons right now is that I am divorcing my husband. He isn’t a good person…. He attacked a friend of mine and I just found out that he will be in jail for a while.” Bea looks at Liz trying to read her expression. “I’m sorry about the divorce love, but I am glad that you’re safe for now.” Liz can fill in the gaps. “Liz, I wanted to ask you something. I know this job was supposed to be temporary and part-time but if you are happy with my work and you have the hours available…I would really like to continue working for you.” Bea asks nervously. “The job was only temporary because you didn’t know how long you would be here. I wanted to hire you permanently but I took what I could get.” Liz smiles. “I would love to keep you on. As far as the hours, you seem to have made a lot of women happy with your coloring. I am confident that they will come back for touch ups and will recommend you to their friends. So, yes. I can give you more hours.” Liz says smiling. Tears spring to Bea’s eyes. She hugs Liz and says, “thank you. Sorry to get so emotional.” Bea says suddenly embarrassed by her own reaction. “That’s okay love. Besides, you seem to be able to put up with Boomer and that’s a bonus.” Liz laughs and Bea laughs along with her.

That night Bea makes dinner for her and Debbie. “I want to talk to you about something,” says Bea. Debbie notices that her mother looks nervous. “What is it mama?” Bea puts her fork down and turns her body towards her daughter. “Your father was sentenced to four months. Franky called me this morning to tell me.” Bea says waiting for a reaction. Debbie doesn’t say anything for a few beats. “Good. He deserves it.” Debbie says and continues eating her dinner. Bea watches her daughter debating whether to push the topic further. “How does it make you feel?” Bea asks. “Honestly, I am happy and relieved. Jail is where he should be for everything he has done to you and now Franky. He may be biologically my father but I am done with him. I don’t want to see him again.” Debbie says with conviction. Bea nods her head, understanding how Debbie feels. “I also wanted to get your input on what we will do once the divorce is final. I am thinking we would stay here. But,it would mean that you would have to switch schools and I know that it would be difficult to start all over again, especially during your senior year,” says Bea. “I do like it here. It wouldn’t be easy to start a new school but Sky will be there and I really like her so it would make things easier. Plus, I have been hanging out with her friends and they are all cool. So don’t worry mama. I will be okay.” Bea feels some relief. She really has an incredible and resilient daughter. “Another plus, we have Allie. I really like her and she seems to have had an impact on you. You seem calmer and stronger. I think she will make a good friend for you.” Debbie says smiling. Bea winces at Allie’s name. What if Allie and she can’t be friends? What if they could be more than friends? How would Debbie react to that? “I like her too Debbie. She is a good person. “Okay, so we’ve decided to stay?” Bea asks. Debbie nods her head. “I wonder if Bridget’s friend will continue to rent the house to us. I would have to pay more in rent but it would be worth it. I will have to ask Bridget to find out.” Bea says lost in her thoughts. “Oh and Liz hired me full-time permanently.” Bea says happily. “That’s great mama! It’s all falling into place.” Debbie says with a big smile on her face. 

 

A couple of days go by and Bea hasn’t heard from Allie. Bea wants to call her but is afraid. She needs to talk to her even if it winds up being an unpleasant conversation. Bea can’t take it anymore. She decides that she will be brave and call Allie. Dialing Allie’s number, Bea’s heart starts pounding. “Hello?” Allie says. “Hi Allie, it’s Bea.” Allie’s silence is deafening. “Hi Bea.” Allie says finally. “Uh…I wanted to let you know that Harry received a four month sentence.” Bea says waiting for a reaction. “I’m so happy to hear that. Thank you for telling me.” Allie says with relief. “Yeah, I am so thankful.” Bea says not knowing how to prolong their conversation. “I…uh…was wondering if you would come over for dinner tonight. Debbie will be out with her friends and I want to run some things by you.” Bea’s hands get clammy while she waits for a response. Allie doesn’t say anything right away. This is not helping Bea’s nerves. “I may be meeting for drinks with a friend.” Allie says uncomfortably. “Oh, maybe you could meet after dinner?” Bea says disappointed. “I don’t know Bea.” Allie sounds like she’s uncomfortable too. Bea wants to cry. “Did I do something wrong Allie?” Bea isn’t sure she wants to hear the answer. Allie is silent for what feels like an eternity. “Of course not….Okay, I will come to dinner,” says Allie. Relief and excitement wash over Bea. “Can you come by at 7?” Bea asks. “Okay. I will see you later. I need to get back to work,” says Allie. Bea hangs up and is hit by a wave of anxiety. 

Allie hangs up with Bea and immediately berates herself for giving in. She was determined 10 minutes ago not to see Bea up until they had to prepare for the hearing on the 19th. The sound of Bea’s voice destroyed that resolve in thirty seconds. Allie calls Maxine and it goes straight to voicemail. “You are probably in a session right now but will you call me when you have a break. I really need to run something past you. Thanks Maxi.” Maxine calls an hour later. “What’s going on?” Maxine says with concern. “I have been trying to stay away from Bea until the hearing. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her for a couple of days and then she called me right before I left you the message on your voicemail. She invited me to dinner and I said no but I guess I sounded off so she asked if she had done something wrong. My heart broke. I told her she hadn’t and then said I would go over there for dinner.” Allie is so frustrated. “You need to talk to her Allie. I hate telling you what you need to do but you are clearly struggling with this. You are not her friend. She hired you to do a job and there needs to be boundaries,” says Maxine. “Yeah, you’re right. Only my heart and my brain are having a bloody war and my heart is winning. Allie says feeling defeated. “I have to go honey but you have to talk to her. I hate hearing you like this. Let me know what happens. Be strong Allie,” says Maxine with encouragement. “I will, thanks Maxi,” Allie says.

Allie doesn’t want to show up to dinner empty handed. She thinks about bringing a bottle of wine. She sure as hell could use a drink, but she decides on dessert instead. Allie knocks on Bea’s door. She is filled with adrenaline and tries to will herself to calm down. Bea opens the door. “Hi, come on in.” Bea moves to the side allowing Allie to enter the house. “I brought dessert. I hope you like chocolate. I figured that there are very few people who don’t.” Bea smiles and takes the box from Allie. “That wasn’t necessary but thank you.” Allie follows Bea into the kitchen. “What smells so good?” Allie asks. “I made a pot roast, I hope that’s okay?” Bea asks nervously. Allie notices that Bea hasn’t made much eye contact with her. “Sounds delicious.” Allie is not sure where to stand in the kitchen. She decides to lean against the counter. Bea doesn’t realize Allie is behind her and turns around right into Allie. Their bodies touch briefly and they are standing face to face. Allie wants to back up but the counter is in the way. Bea looks embarrassed and her face turns red. She backs away from Allie. “Dinner is ready. Why don’t you sit at the table?” Bea suggests nervously. “Get yourself together,” Bea thinks to herself. Bea places the dish on the table. “What would you like to drink? I have wine, beer, coke and water.” Bea asks as she pulls out a bottle of wine that she plans on downing herself, she’s so nervous. Allie loses her resolve of not drinking any alcohol immediately and is annoyed with herself. “Wine would be nice,” says Allie. Bea pours the wine and hands Allie a glass. Bea sits at the table. “I hope you’re hungry. I made enough for an army. My kids eats more than anyone I know so I always make too much.” Bea chuckles nervously. Allie smiles. “I am actually. I didn’t eat anything for lunch.” Allie was so anxious that she didn’t know if she could keep anything down. “Why is that?” Bea asks with concern. “I was busy and forgot.” Allie knew that was a lame excuse but she couldn’t tell her the real reason. Bea serves Allie some salad and a hearty helping of the pot roast and vegetables. Allie takes a bite of the pot roast and softly moans with delight “oh my God Bea, this is delicious. You are a good cook.” Bea’s body flushes from head to toe and she feels a flutter between her legs. The sound of Allie’s moan makes her mouth dry and Bea takes a long swallow of wine. “What did you want to run past me?” Allie asks while taking another forkful. “I think I am going to stay in the Hamptons after the divorce is final,” says Bea. Her voice raspier from arousal. Allie’s body responds to Bea’s voice with a wave of heat over body. This is not how Allie wanted things to go tonight. Allie drinks half of the glass of wine in two swallows. Bea notices. “That’s good. Would you still be working for Liz?” Allie asks. “I talked to her about it and she said I could work full-time.” Allie wipes the corner of her mouth with her napkin. “Do you think staying here is a good idea?” Bea asks looking in Allie’s eyes for some sign that Allie would want her to stay. Allie is looking at Bea’s eyes and she could swear she saw Bea’s eyes dilate when she asked her. “I think that you should do whatever you want Bea. You are in control of your life now. Are you happy here?” Allie asks. Bea slides her hand closer to Allie’s on the table. Their fingers don’t quite touch but they’re close enough for Allie to feel like she’s on fire. “Yes, I think I am.” Bea says softly. “Does she even know how seductive she is?” Allie thinks to herself. Allie moves her hand away slowly. Bea notices and moves her hand back. When they finish eating. Bea gets up and collects their plates. Allie follows suit. “You don’t need to help. I am just going to pack away the leftovers and rinse the dishes.” Bea smiles. When Bea finishes she grabs the wine bottle and refills both of their glasses. “Let’s let dinner digest a little while before we have dessert.” Bea suggests. Allie nods and follows Bea to the couch. Allie sits down and Bea sits closer to her than she would like. They both sip on their wine. There is an awkward silence. Allie breaks it first. “Have you been drawing lately?” Allie asks trying to avoid the conversation they should be having. “Yes, actually. Thank you again for the supplies. It was very thoughtful,” says Bea. “If it’s not too personal, can I see them?” Allie asks. Bea is not sure how she feels about it. What if Allie thinks they aren’t any good? She still remembers the feeling of having Harry making fun of them. Allie senses her reluctance. “You don’t have to show me Bea. After Harry’s criticism I’m sure sharing them would be difficult.” Allie says softly. Bea shouldn’t be surprised by now at Allie’s perceptiveness. “It’s okay. I trust that you will be gentle if you don’t think they are good.” Bea gets up and goes to her room to get the sketchbook. Allie releases a long breath trying to psych herself up to begin a conversation she is dreading. Bea comes back into the room and sits on the couch, closer than she was sitting before. Allie flushes. She takes the pad from Bea and looks through the pages. She is really surprised at how talented Bea is. How could Harry say they were bad? “Bea, these drawings are amazing.” Allie says impressed. Bea lowers hear head with embarrassment. “You’re just saying that because you are sweet.” Bea says self-consciously. “I’m really not Bea.” The drawings were mostly of Debbie and some of flowers and things. The last drawing was of herself. It was beautiful and really touched Allie. Tears welled up in her eyes. “It’s beautiful Bea,” says Allie. Bea notices that Allie is crying and moves her hand to wipe a tear that has made its way down Allie’s cheek. Allie wants to move away but she’s paralyzed. Her heart is pounding with the anticipation of Bea’s touch. Just as Bea touched her Allie scooted forward on the couch and out of Bea’s reach. Allie looks at Bea and sees the hurt in her eyes. Bea is embarrassed and feels rejected. She starts to get up from the couch when Allie gently grabs her wrist. “Wait Bea.” Facing away from Allie Bea says, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Allie feels terrible. “Please sit back down.” Bea turns around and looks at Allie for a while and then sits down. They are facing each other and neither one speaks for a moment. “Bea, I know I have been acting strangely since Friday. I am so sorry that I made you feel like you have done something wrong.” Allie pauses. Allie has Bea’s full attention. “I have been trying to figure out some things for a while now. I want to do the right thing despite my feelings….for you.” Allie looks for a reaction. Bea’s eyes soften and waits for Allie to finish. “I am attracted to you Bea and I care about you. I don’t know if I am reading you right but I think you feel something for me.” Bea feels overwhelmed with emotion and goes to put her hand on Allie’s to convey that she does feel something for her. Allie moves her hand away. “I would have told you sooner but I was afraid that I would scare you away. All of that you have been through and are going through... you are in a vulnerable position and I don’t want to take advantage of that.” Bea starts to respond. “Let me finish, okay?” Allie pleads. Bea nods her head. “Even if you are interested and to pursue your feelings….I could hurt you unintentionally and that would devastate me. I never want to cause you any pain. But, the biggest obstacle is that I would be in violation of the bar’s professional code of conduct. As long as I am representing you I cannot have a sexual relationship with my client.” Allie sighs. Bea waits to see if Allie is finished. “Allie, I do have feelings for you. I don’t know what I am capable of offering you but you are not wrong about me being attracted to you. I have been struggling with it and trying to find a way to tell you. That’s why I invited you here tonight.” Bea is relieved to let some of what she has been thinking and feeling out. “The fact that you have put your own feelings aside to accommodate mine makes me care about you even more.” Bea reaches for Allie’s hand and this time Allie lets her hold it. “I understand that we would have to wait if we wanted to pursue anything together. It’s not a long time. I have to be honest with you though. I don’t know if I can be physically intimate with you or not. I have no idea what I am capable of giving you. Harry fucked me up in the head. It may be too much for you to handle. You are so amazing and deserve to be loved in every way. I don’t know if I can do that. Do you understand what I am saying?” Bea hopes she does because it is too hard for her to say it out loud. “I do. That isn’t something that needs to be discussed right now. I am so happy to know that you feel the same way I do. I am willing to wait if you are. I want to do things right. Although I feel guilty about even expressing feelings for you. I am not sure that is ethical either,” says Allie. “I’m glad we talked. Can we still spend time together before the divorce is finalized?” Bea asks hopefully. Allie smiles and softly says, “Yes, we can.” Allie rises up from the couch. “I should go.” Bea stands up and walks Allie to the door. Allie turns to Bea “I hope you are alright with everything we talked about.” Allie says searching Bea’s eyes. Bea steps toward and hugs Allie. Their bodies are flushed together. Allie’s body is on fire. Bea can hear her heart pounding in her ears. They hug for a long time. Bea slowly pulls away and as she does their cheeks brush against each other and Bea stops moving. She rubs her cheek gently, slowly against Allie’s. Allie’s breathing is heavy and she can’t control a sigh. Allie kisses Bea’s cheek and pulls away before things go any further. “Good night Bea.” Allie says as she opens the door. “Good night Allie.” Bea closes the door and then leans her back into it releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, one more day until all hell breaks loose. I hope people from Australia will be as wonderful as they were last season and upload the new episodes online. I actually won't be able to see it until Tuesday because I live in the States.


	21. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea needs to see Allie. She invites Allie over. Allie can't resist and heads to Bea's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I missed posting yesterday. I was feeling sick and couldn't focus on writing.

Bea lay awake thinking about the events of the night. She replayed the conversation with Allie over and over in her head. Bea is relieved that they finally have things out in the open. But, now what? Bea knows that they will have to wait before anything can really happen between them. But for now, just knowing that Allie has feelings for her makes her feel so good. A feeling she is unfamiliar with. Things are changing for the better and Bea was making them happen. For the first time in her life, she was in control. She was making choices and beginning to feel free.

Allie is not sure what to get Debbie for her birthday. She doesn’t really know anything about her other than she’s a sweet and resilient kid. Allie tried to recall something that Debbie may have mentioned that she was interested in but was at a loss. She thought about calling Bea but Allie knew that she should wait to have contact with Bea until Saturday. Allie found herself calling anyway. Her resolve sucks. “Hello?” Bea rasps. “Hi Bea, it’s Allie.” Allie says smiling to herself. God, she loves the sound of Bea’s voice. “Hi there.” Bea says sensually. Bea doesn’t even know where it came from and she finds herself blushing. “I was hoping that you could give me some suggestions for what to get Debbie for her birthday.” Allie asks. “You don’t need to get her anything. She will just be happy that you celebrated her birthday with her. She really likes you....” Bea says. Allie is quiet for a moment. Bea thinks that maybe she shouldn’t have said that. “I like her too, she reminds me of her mother.” Allie says quietly. Bea’s body is humming. She suddenly feels overcome with the need to see Allie. She just wants to be near her. She’s not sure what has come over her but the need is overwhelming. Bea clears her throat. “She likes music, movies, loves to read, and loves the beach. I don’t know if that helps.” Bea tries to control the urge to invite Allie over. She has never felt this beautiful feeling before and she doesn’t want it to end. She doesn’t want to wait until Saturday. “Ok, I will look around and see if I can find something Debbie will like.” Allie says. They are both silent for a while. Both wanting to say the things they are thinking and feeling but knowing they shouldn’t. “What are you doing tonight?” Bea asks not being able to contain herself. Her heart is pounding hoping that Allie will say that she’s not doing anything. Allie knows where this question is leading to and she wants to be strong enough for them both. But let’s face it, she has no fucking resolve when it comes to Bea. None. “Nothing, I am just half-ass watching a movie. You?” Allies asks. “I am just drawing. Debbie went off with Sky to see a movie.” Bea says. They both say nothing for a moment. “Do you want to come over and watch a movie together?” Bea asks, her heart thumping. Allie doesn’t say anything for a while. She’s willing herself to say no but she wants to see Bea so badly. Now that they have expressed their feelings for each other....she no longer thinks she can go too long without seeing Bea. “Ok.” Allie whispers. Allie is claiming defeat. It’s innocent right? They are just going to watch a movie. “I’m leaving now.” Allie says. Bea can hardly contain herself. What is she doing? She’s not ready for anything more than a hug or holding hands. She doesn’t want to tease Allie. Maybe she should call her back and cancel. But she doesn’t want to. Bea grabs a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and a glass from the cabinet. She pours herself a healthy amount and downs it. Maybe this will calm her nerves. It’s less than ten minutes later that there is a knock at the door. Bea jumps, adrenaline is rushing through her body.

Bea opens the door. Allie is standing there and they both stare at each other and grin. Bea suddenly realizes she should invite Allie in. “Sorry, come on in. Have a seat on the couch.” Bea rasps. Bea usually sees Allie in her work attire except for at breakfast the other day. Allie is wearing a powder blue tank top that makes her beautiful blue eyes stand out more so than usual and shorts that come down mid-thigh. Allie’s legs are long, toned and tan. Bea can’t help but stare. When she realizes what she’s doing she looks up at Allie who has a smirk on her face. Bea drops her eyes and blushes. “Can I get you something to drink?” Bea asks. “Do you have any wine left…” Allie says. Bea goes into the kitchen to get another glass. Walking back into the living room, she hands Allie her glass and sits on the couch with her legs underneath her. She is at a safe enough distance, Allie thinks to herself. “We have a fire stick so we can watch Amazon Prime or Netflix. What kind of movies do you like?” Bea asks. Allie thinks they should probably avoid anything that has a sex scene but that doesn’t leave much. “I like all kinds of movies. What do you like?” Allie asks. “I prefer movies that don’t make me cry which includes a lot of dramas. I like action and thrillers.” Bea says bringing up the menu on Netflix. As they browse, every movie Bea is interested in has a sex scene that either is very explicit or has a lesbian love scene in it. She has not clue about it either. Allie is dying. They wind up picking an old black noir film. This should be okay Allie thinks to herself. There is a glare on the television from the standing lamp behind the couch. Bea gets up and turns the light off. Now the only light in the house is from the TV. Allie swallows. Bea walks around to the couch and sits back down only much closer. Allie’s skin heats up a few degrees. Allie tries not to look at Bea. She knows the moment they make eye contact Allie will want, no need to kiss Bea. As they’re watching the movie the a/c kicks in and Bea asks, “I’m getting chilly are you cold?” Allie feels like it’s 100 degrees in the room she is so aroused. “I’m comfortable but if your cold...” Allie says. Bea gets up again, heads to her bedroom and comes out with a red throw blanket. She sits down even closer to Allie and drapes the blanket over both of them. Bea’s shoulder is leaning against Allie’s arm. Now Allie is way too warm because of Bea’s placement on the couch. Allie doesn’t dare move though. She is enjoying being close to Bea. If only she could concentrate on the movie. Bea isn’t paying attention to the movie at all. She has no idea what is happening and doesn’t care. She is enjoying being close to Allie. She can smell a mingling of Allie’s shampoo and perfume. Allie hears a very soft moan from Bea and immediately looks over at her. Bea’s eyes are closed and she has a slight smile on her lips. The sound alone makes Allie wet. She swallows. “What are you smiling about?” Allie asks. Bea didn’t realize that Allie was looking at her. “I was enjoying the smell of your perfume.” Bea says and leans over and smells Allie’s neck. Bea’s lips so close to her neck is making Allie’s head swim. She wants to kiss Bea so badly. “I’m glad you like it.” Allie says, her voice an octave lower than normal. Bea is struggling. She wants to kiss Allie. Actually, she wants Allie to kiss her but she’s afraid that Allie will want more and she’s not ready for that. Allie pulls her hand out from under the blanket, resting it on top of Bea’s blanket covered knee. Bea’s heart starts thumping in her chest. Bea feels a mixture of fear and arousal. She knows Allie would never do anything to hurt her but she has never been touched in any other way than roughly or painfully. Bea decides that she is not going to deny herself the simple pleasure of touch because of her fears. She removes her hand from under the blanket and sets it alongside Allie’s. Her mouth is dry and her hand is shaking. Allie moves her hand closer until their pinky fingers are touching. Allie sighs. They are both trying not to look at each other as if by not looking they are not doing anything consciously. Bea’s breathing is labored and she wants to take the final leap to holding Allie’s hand but she can’t quite get her nerve up. Allie moves her pinky over Bea’s and waits for a reaction. Bea doesn’t pull away and Allie takes that as a good sign. A minute later Allie’s hand is touching more of Bea’s. Sensing that Bea won’t pull away, Allie takes Bea’s whole hand in hers. Bea’s whole body is buzzing but no longer from nerves but from the contact she has been wanting. Allie rubs her thumb lightly over the fleshy part of Bea’s hand. Allie caresses her hand so gently Bea barely feels it. Bea turns her hand over and Allie caresses her palm. They are now lightly touching, mirroring each other’s hand. The touch is so gentle, tears well up in Bea’s eyes. Something as simple as touching Allie’s hand brings a wave emotion. Bea lightly squeezes Allie’s hand. Allie turns her head to look at Bea. The light from the tv hitting Bea’s eyes just right to reveal the tears. Allie turns her body to Bea and puts her hand on Bea’s cheek. “What’s the matter beautiful girl? Is this too much for you? I can go if you need me to…” Bea looks into Allie’s kind, gentle and beautiful eyes and sees nothing but concern and emotion. “I don’t want you to go. It’s just that no one has touched me like this.” Bea says a little embarrassed. Allie nods with understanding. Allie moves her face closer to Bea’s and kisses her temple lightly. Bea is so moved by the tenderness of the kiss. She turns her head so she is facing her. Allie looks at Bea and sees the desire in Bea’s eyes and she risks ghosting her lips over Bea’s. She is rewarded with a moan. Allie rubs her lips lightly over Bea’s upper lip and then her lower lip reveling in there warmth and softness. Allie strokes Bea’s cheek and jaw line waiting to see if Bea pulls away...but she doesn’t. Bea’s heart is banging like a drum. Allie presses her lips with more slightly more pressure and she kisses Bea. Bea kisses her back. Allie lets out a sigh. She pulls away to look at Bea and is relieved when Bea chases her mouth as if she wants more. Allie complies and they kiss softly for a while, communicating their feelings for each other through their lips. Allie licks Bea’s lower lip so gently Bea’s mouth opens to let Allie in. Their tongues glide over each other so gently. There is no rush, no pressure for anything other than the pleasure they are feeling. Allie pulls back slowly. “Are you okay?’ Allie’s voice is husky. Bea smiles, “I can’t articulate to you how wonderful kissing you is.” Allie smiles. Bea’s phone buzzes and Bea apologizes, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I need to check this and see if it’s Debbie. There is a message from Debbie saying she is on her way home. “Debbie’s on her way home.” Bea says. “I should probably go. I don’t want her to walk in on us.” Allie smiles. Bea is disappointed but agrees with her. Allie pulls the blanket off of them. They both get up and Bea walks Allie to the door. Bea moves slowly toward Allie and puts her arms around Allie’s waist. Allie does the same and then kisses Bea lightly. “I’m glad you came over tonight.” Bea rasps. A wave of heat moves through Allie’s body from the sound of Bea’s voice. “Me too.” Allie smiles. “I will see you Saturday beautiful girl.” Allie strokes Bea’s cheek with such a tenderness, Bea feels her eyes start to tear up and with that Allie leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't say anything about episode 1. I am waiting for someone to post it so I can watch. I am so nervous.


	22. Let's Fondue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Franky, Bridget, Bea and Debbie decide to go out for dinner for an early birthday celebration. Debbie invites Allie to join along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for the chapter being so short. I have put off watching S5 E1 long enough. I must watch! I gathered tissues and my binky. I think I can make it through.

Franky and Bridget arrive the Friday night before Debbie’s birthday. Everyone decides to go out for dinner since Debbie will be with Sky the following night. “Where do you want to go for dinner mini-Bea?” Franky asks. “I thought it would be fun to go to The Melting Pot. Kaz and Sky go there occasionally and said the food was good. I have never eaten fondue before.” Debbie says hoping everyone will be on board with her selection. “It’s your birthday Debbie, wherever you want to go works for us.” Bea says. “Why don’t we invite Allie?” Franky suggests wearing a smirk on her face. Bridget elbows her. “Ouch, stop it Bridget.” Franky says throwing an annoyed look to Bridget which she returns. “Oh, that’s a great idea! Can we mama?” Debbie asks with excitement. Franky grins from ear to ear at Bea. “Debbie, I’m sure she has a life outside of hanging with the Smiths.” Bea is trying to hide the excitement she feels just by the mere mention of Allie’s name. “Please, it will be my birthday present.” Debbie wiggles her eyes at Bea. “You already got your birthday present...the bike, remember?” Bea reminds Debbie. “I will call her if you don’t want to...” Debbie threatens. Franky is loving this and Bea flips her the bird when Debbie isn’t looking. “Fine, you can call her.” Bea says. Debbie grins and quickly takes Bea’s phone. “Well, hi there.” Allie says in a sultry voice. Debbie is caught off guard. That was weird, she thinks to herself. “Hi Allie, it’s Debbie. I am using my mother’s phone since your number is already stored in it.” Debbie says. Allie is embarrassed. “Hi Debbie. I didn’t see the caller ID, I thought you were someone else.” Allie hated lying but she felt like it was one she wouldn’t be judged for. “Oh.” Debbie laughs. “I thought it was a strange greeting. Franky and Bridget are here and they are taking me out for dinner and I would love for you to join us.” Debbie says. Shit, Allie thinks to herself. She wants to go so she can see Bea but she knows that she crossed the line already. “Isn’t seeing me tomorrow enough of an Allie fix.” Allie laughs. “Nope. Come on, please...it’ll be fun. We are going to eat fondue.” Debbie pleads. Allie finds it is just as hard to say no to Debbie as it is to Bea. “Okay Debbie. Since you asked so nicely and I haven’t had fondue in ages.” Allie says. “Awesome! Do you want to come to the house first or meet us there?” Debbie asks. “I will meet you guys there. What time?” Allie asks. “8. See you later Allie.” Debbie says and then hangs up the phone. Bea is trying so hard to not react to the good news that she will get to spend more time with Allie. She doesn’t want to get Allie in trouble so it will be good that they will be around other people. Not that they have done anything wrong really....ok, they kissed and that was a no no she’s guessing. Now Bea feels bad. She doesn’t want Allie to compromise her integrity. That’s one of the many things she likes about her. Okay after tomorrow, Bea will not try to get Allie to spend time with her. The hearing is only another two weeks anyway, right? “Did you hear? Allie is going to meet us at the restaurant. I’m stoked. All of my favorite people all hanging out with me tonight.” Debbie keeps smiling. Bea has to remind herself that this is about Debbie and her birthday, not her own needs. “Okay Debbie, let’s find something to wear.” Bea says. “Can we wear the outfits Franky and Bridget got us? We didn’t get to enjoy them the last time we wore them.” Debbie says frowning. “That’s a really good idea Debbie.” Bridget says looking at Bea. “That way you can associate the clothes with something good, the way it was intended.” Bridget smiles. Franky wraps her arms around Bridget’s waist from behind and kisses her cheek. “What’s that for?” Bridget asks smiling at Franky. “I just really love you Gidge.” Franky says feeling all mushy. Bea watches the two of them and hopes that she can experience the same level of intimacy and love that they possess for each other. Bea heads for the bedroom, she doesn’t want the women to see the tears that have formed in her eyes. 

The four women get ready. “Franky, you look great in that dress. You should wear them more often.” Bea says smiling. She knows that she will get a rise out of her best friend. “Hey, I told you to stop hitting on me Red. My girlfriend is right there.” Franky says in a mock whisper. Bridget laughs and rolls her eyes. “Okay ladies, everyone looks beautiful now let’s go. I’m starving.” Debbie waves everyone towards the door. After parking the car, they all walk up to the entrance to the restaurant. Bea looking around for Allie. It’s five to eight and Allie is always right on time. Bea has butterflies in her stomach. “I’m going to let the hostess know that we are here.” Bridget says and enters the restaurant. “Why don’t you and Franky follow Bridget?” Bea says to Debbie. “Hopefully they will seat you without the full party being here. I will wait for Allie.” Bea suggests. Debbie doesn’t think twice and walks into the restaurant. Franky smiles but says nothing. “What?” Bea asks knowing why Franky’s smiling. “Oh nothing Bea, just that someone seems awfully eager to see a blonde haired, blue eyed lady.” Franky smiles with her tongue rubbing her lower lip. Bea doesn’t respond with words but her face says everything and Franky can read her like a book. “Please, just go inside.” Bea pleads. She can’t take any teasing. She’s already feeling like a silly teenager. “Alright Red, I will leave you alone….for now.” Franky teases and walks into the restaurant. Bea looks at her cell phone to see what time it is and when she looks back up her jaw drops. Allie is walking up the sidewalk and she looks stunning. She’s wearing a light blue dress that flows from her waist to mid-thigh but fits every curve of her from the waist up. Her hair is loose and has a windblown look. Bea can’t take her eyes off of her. Bea can’t believe how beautiful she is. “Hi.” Allie looks around to see if Bea is alone. Finding no one familiar, wraps her arms around Bea’s waist and pulls her in for a hug. “You look stunning.” Allie whispers in Bea’s ear, her lips brushing against her skin. Bea’s heart is about to beat out of her chest. “So do you.” Bea says while pulling away and staring at Allie’s lips. She doesn’t even realizes she is biting her bottom lip. “Shall we go in?” Allie smiles, knowing what is going through Bea’s mind. “Uh…yeah.” Bea lost track of where she was. They walk to the podium and ask where their party is and the hostess shows them the way. 

“Hey Novak, took you long enough. We’ve got a hungry kid over here. What kept you?” Franky teases. Bea gives Franky a warning glance. Franky puts her hands up in surrender. “Hi guys, good to see you.” Allie says to Franky and Bridget while sitting down. Bea sits down between Debbie and Allie. “So how does this work?” Debbie asks. “Well, we all pick what kind of cheese fondue we want from the menu. It comes with cubes of different types of bread and cut up apples for you to dip in the cheese. Then for the main meal, you pick the type of sauce or broth you want to cook the meat in. You can choose what kind of meat…chicken, shrimp or beef. It comes with cubed potatoes and cut vegetables,” says Allie. “The best part is the dessert. “You choose what type of chocolate you want to dip into….” As Allie is describing the items that you get to dip into the chocolate, her foot is caressing up and down Bea’s leg. When Bea first feels it she jumps a little. Of course, Franky notices and looks Bea in the eye with a smirk and then looks at Allie who looks like the picture of innocence. “That sounds awesome Allie.” Debbie says excitedly. The server comes to their table and takes their food and drink orders. “So Debbie, I heard you are making some friends here.” Allie says while leaning over Bea a little so she can make eye contact with Debbie. Bea is a mess. She can feel the warmth of Allie’s skin on her arm. She looks across at Bridget who is watching and smiling. “Yeah, I met Sky at mama’s work and we just hit it off. Her friends are cool too.” Debbie says. “I’m glad you have some people to hang out with, especially ones that are your own age. I’m sure hanging out with this lot is boring.” Allie says chuckling. “Hey Novak, I am a ton of fun. Speak for yourself.” Franky pretending she is insulted. The women chatter about various things and laugh a lot. They get through their main meal and are waiting on dessert. “So, how did you like it?” Allie asks with one eyebrow lifted. “I loved it and I can’t wait for the chocolate. Thank you all so much. I am having a great time.” Debbie says smiling. The chocolate fondue arrives and everyone is eager to try it. Allie spears a marshmallow and dips it into the chocolate. Bringing it to her mouth she stares into Bea’s eyes. Bea has been relatively quiet all night but when Allie suggestively licks the corner of her mouth after taking a bite, Bea can’t stop a low moan. The other women don’t hear it because they are chatting about how Bridget’s family is coming to visit this summer. But, Allie hears it and she feels a long pull to her abdomen. They continued staring at each other until Bea realized that Debbie had asked her something. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t hear you. “I asked what time we were going to the fair tomorrow.” Debbie says. “Oh, I was thinking about noon. Does that sound alright with you ladies?” Bea asks. Everyone agrees that would be a good time. The dessert is demolished and it is getting late so they ask for the check. Allie grabs the bill this time. “Allie, no. You don’t have to do that.” Bea tried to take the check from Allie but she’s having none of it. “I want to treat you all. I really enjoyed your company.” Allie says smiling. Everyone thanks Allie for dinner and they exit the restaurant onto the sidewalk. “I’m going to walk Allie to her car. I will be right back.” Bea says. Franky looks like the cat that ate the bird. Good nights are exchanged and Allie and Bea start walking. As they walk their hands brush against each other. Both of them want to hold the other’s hand. When they get to Allie’s car. They both stand there looking at each other. Allie moves Bea out of the light and puts her hand on Bea’s cheek. She strokes her face and then leans in hesitantly, waiting to see if Bea will pull away but Bea doesn’t. Allie kisses her softly and whispers in Bea’s ear, “I will be thinking about you in this dress all night. You really do look beautiful.” Allie kisses Bea on the cheek and moves back to the car. She opens the door and as she is about to get in Bea gently grabs Allie’s wrist and turns her around. Bea kisses Allie softly at first but the intensity increases for a moment and when Bea becomes too overwhelmed she slowly pulls away. Allie is panting. “Good night Allie.” Bea says in a whisper. Allie stares at Bea dumbfounded. Where did that come from? When she finally gets her bearings she replies, “Good night Bea.” Bea walks back to the women and gives Franky a look that says not now.


	23. The Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Debbie's birthday and the ladies spend the day at the fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to update every day but I am going to have to slow down the next few chapters. There are things that are coming up in the story that will need more attention.

While Bridget and Debbie prepare breakfast, Franky suggests that she and Bea sit outside while she has her morning coffee. Bea raises an eyebrow questioningly. They sit on the step outside. “Ok, spill it Red. Did you have the talk? Something has changed between you and Allie.” Franky asks already knowing the answer to her question. Bea looks down shyly and says, “Yes, the other night.” Franky grins. “Well? I want to hear all of the juicy details.” Franky says. Bea is really embarrassed. “There’s nothing to tell really.” Bea says minimizing the magnitude of the talk and what it means to her. “Bullshit. Bea you were flirting with her. That is not like you.” Franky insists. “I invited her over and it was awkward. I thought maybe I had done something wrong. I wanted to tell her how I felt but I don’t think I ever would have had she not told me first. I can’t tell you happy I am to know she has feelings for me too. Happy and scared shitless at the same time. I mean she is so beautiful and kind and I’m well...” Bea says hearing Harry’s voice telling her how ugly she is and how she’s nothing and no would ever want her. Bea gets lost in her thoughts. After realizing she is being spoken to, snaps out of it. “First of all, you are beautiful and I will keep telling you that until you believe me. Second, Allie is not only attracted to you just because of your looks. She is attracted to you because are a wonderful person. You have a lot to offer. Those doubts you keep replaying in your mind are not true. Harry said those things to break you down, to control you and to keep you from ever leaving.” Franky says with conviction. Allie sees the real you that you buried deep down. You should have seen the way she looked at you when you were telling stories about Debbie when she was little and when you laughed that husky, sexy laugh. You would think you hung the moon....It’s not just about a physical attraction Bea.” Franky says. “So how did you leave it? Did you two fool around?” Franky teases. Bea punches Franky in the arm lightly. “After she talked we hugged and she left. But, I invited her over the next night. She was reluctant to come over because she doesn’t want to break any ethical code. But she did come over.” Bea says and gets really shy. Her face and neck turn red. “What did you do Red?” Franky wiggles her eyebrows up and down. Bea doesn’t say anything at first. “She kissed me and I kissed her back.” Bea says trying to hide her smile. God she felt like a teenager. “Apparently she couldn’t help herself and knows she is crossing the line. I am sure I don’t need to tell you that she could get in serious trouble if you do more than kissing. She could even get disbarred.” Franky says with concern. Bea does know this and feels shitty for allowing her need to kiss Allie skew her judgment. Franky notices the shift in Bea’s demeanor. “Hey, I am not trying to make you feel bad. I just want you both to be careful. You can pursue whatever you both want after your divorce has been finalized.” Franky says gently. “Breakfast is ready you two!” Debbie yells through the window making them jump. Franky and Bea look at each other and laugh.

Allie arrives at Bea’s house just before noon. The women pile into her car. Debbie insists on sitting in the front seat. Bea sits squished between Franky and Bridget. “Bea, move over, unless you want me to fall out of the fucking car.” Franky says annoyed with being crammed against the car door. Bea laughs at Franky and her eyes glance up, Allie is looking in the rearview mirror with a look of desire. Bea wonders why her laugh effects Allie so much. 

They arrive at the fairgrounds and park. Although Harry would take them places putting on a front that they were this happy family, Debbie never really got to enjoy things like a fair. She is very excited and pesters Allie to go off with her to find a ride or game that looks fun. Allie, being dragged by Debbie looks behind her and winks at Bea. Bea is so happy that Debbie really likes Allie. If anything does comes to fruition between Allie and her, Bea thinks it will be easier for Debbie to accept. Franky, Bridget and Bea catch up to Allie and Debbie. They are contemplating whether or not to go on a ride. “Come on Allie...it’ll be fun.” Debbie begs. “I don’t think so Debbie. I hate rides that spin me around, especially that fast.” Allie feels queasy just looking at the ride in motion. “I bet Bridget... or Franky....or your mom would like this ride.” Allie sees the women approaching and looks at them for help. “Franky and I will go with you Deb.” Bridget says leaving Bea and Allie alone. They stand there smiling at each other. “Let’s go play a game and spend $20 on a stuffed animal that costs $2.” Allie suggests laughing. Bea follows her to a game booth where you shoot water into the mouth of a clown head. The person who makes the balloon pop, wins. The prize is a sad looking panda bear. When the bell rings they start squirting the guns. Allie is having difficulty getting the stream of water into the hole and is giggling. Bea is kicking her butt and about to win when she suddenly feels water hit her in the midriff. She lets out a girly scream and Allie bursts into laughter. The bell goes off and neither of them win. “I am so going to get you for that.” Bea says pretending to be mad. “I’ll look forward to it.” Allie says and winks leaving Bea red faced. “Come on, let’s go see what else is here.” Allie says still giggling. They walk over to a shooting game. “I don’t think I want to play this one with you. You may shoot me for fun.” Bea laughs. “I’ll behave, I promise.” Allie says. The game is to shoot down 12 of the yellow ducks. The prize is a purple panther. Bea is terrible at it unlike Allie. “And we have a winner!” says the booth attendant. He hands the panther to Allie. Allie sets it aside and asks Bea to play another round. Bea agrees. “What you need to do is line the top of the barrel of the rifle with the duck.” Allie says and then moves around Bea’s body. Allie’s arms are around Bea’s and she guides her arms and the gun to line up with the target. “Like this.” Allie says. Bea feels the heat emanating from Allie’s body. Her head is swimming and she feels her heart thumping. “There you guys are.” Debbie says holding a stuffed polar bear. Bea shoots the gun and gets 5 out of the 12 ducks. “You did much better!” Allie says smirking. “How was the ride?” Bea asks Debbie. “Lame. Allie, you would have been fine on it.” Debbie says with a disappointed face. “This is for you.” Allie hands Debbie the stuffed panther. “Thank you Allie, you’re so sweet.” Debbie says and then gives Allie a quick kiss on the cheek. Allie is surprised but pleased. Bea and Allie look at each other and understand that they witnessed something special. They all walk around going on rides and playing games, trying to win a prize. They eat cotton candy and laugh having a great time. Debbie is really enjoying herself and Bea is thankful for that. “Do you want to ride the ferris wheel with me?” Allie asks Bea. Bea nods and they tell Bridget that they will meet them over at the ring toss booth. Allie hands the ride operator money and they step into the car and get settled. The wheel starts moving slowly. It doesn’t go very high but Allie just wanted to get Bea alone for a minute. As they get higher, Allie places her hand on Bea’s. She turns to look at Allie and sees in her eyes pure affection. Bea smiles shyly. Their thighs are touching and the feel of Allie’s hand in hers makes her eyes well with tears. Allie knows that Bea is overwhelmed but instead of calling her on it, she just strokes Bea’s hand with her thumb. “I’m having the best day with you.” Allie leans over and whispers in Bea’s ear. “Me too.” Bea smiles. The wheel stops and they are just hanging in the air. Bea’s demeanor suddenly changes to a serious one. Allie waits patiently for Bea to communicate the thoughts clearly going around in her head. “I think after today, we shouldn’t spend time together unless it’s about the hearing.” Bea says, not making eye contact with Allie. “Ok, where is this coming from?” Allie asks softly. “I am concerned that you will get in trouble because we are....” Bea doesn’t know what they are doing exactly. “What do you think we are doing?” Allie asks quietly. Bea shakes her head. “I don’t know. I need you to tell me.” Bea says. “Bea, you are in control of what happens with us. Well, you and the bar but after the divorce is finalized...you are in control. If you want to see where things go with us, then I am all in. If it is all too much or you realize that you don’t feel the same way I do...” Bea cuts Allie off. “I don’t know what I am doing. I need to figure it all out but I do know that my feelings are not fleeting. I want to see where things go. I need you to be patient with me and I don’t know if that is too much to ask.” Bea says hoping Allie understands. The wheel starts moving again and is heading downward. “You don’t need to decide anything right now. There is no pressure for anything. I just want to be around you, okay? No pressure.” Allie says tenderly. “Ok.” Bea smiles. The car stops at the ground and they meet everyone at the ring toss booth. They all wander around some more and before they know it’s 5pm. Sky is picking Debbie up at 6pm so they all head back to Bea’s house.

 

Bridget and Franky grab their stuff and put it in the car. They need to get back home. Debbie hugs them both and thanks them for making her birthday so much fun. Sky pulls up and waves to Bea as Debbie gets in the car. “See you later mama.” Debbie says. Bea blows a kiss at her daughter. Bea turns and hugs Bridget. “The hearing is what, in 10 days?” Bridget asks. “Yeah.” Bea looks nervous. “It’s going to be okay Bea. Allie will look out for you.” Bridget says with a smile. She kisses Bea’s cheek and walks to the driver’s side of the car. “Come on Franky, time to say goodbye.” Franky gives Bea a strong hug and whispers in her ear, “I love you, ya know. Just be careful and if Allie does anything to hurt you, I’m coming after her.” Franky says with bravado. “All she has to do is run and you’re fucked.” Bea says and they both laugh. Franky lets go of Bea and gets in the passenger side of the car. Bea and Allie wave goodbye.

“Well, I should go.” Allie says but it’s clear that she doesn’t want to. Bea doesn’t want her to go either. “Why don’t you come in for a while? It’s early yet,” says Bea. Allie has an internal battle right before Bea’s eyes. “Ok, for a little while. Why can’t I say no to you?” Allie asks. “I don’t know but I am glad you can’t.” Bea says flirting.“Do you want anything to drink?” Bea asks. “Some water, thanks.” Allie is still standing, not quite knowing what to do. It’s as if they hadn’t shared a kiss and it’s the first time she was alone with Bea. Bea walks into the living room and hands Allie the water. “You can make yourself comfortable you know.” Bea says wondering why Allie is being hesitant. “I know. I’m just….I thought about what you said on the ferris wheel. You know this isn’t only new for you.” Allie says while sitting on the couch. “But, you’ve had relationships before?” Bea is confused. “Yeah, but I felt differently than I do now,” says Allie. Bea sits down on the couch next to Allie. “Differently how?” Bea asks. “I had feelings for the women in my past relationships and maybe even loved them but I…” Allie struggles to find the right words. “There was always a wall that I placed between myself and them. I don’t want to do that with you. I don’t want to shut you out in anyway and more importantly, I don’t want to shut myself in anymore. I don’t know exactly what it is about you Bea, I just feel very safe with you.” Allie looks down, feeling exposed. “Somehow, I get the feeling like you are giving me strength more than I am giving it to you. If that makes sense.” Allie looks at Bea trying to see if Bea is understanding her. “I was thinking about it because I don’t want to do anything that could mess things up. I feel like I have already crossed a line and a big part of me doesn’t care. I just want to be around you, hold your hand and if I am lucky and you’ll let me…kiss you.” Allie feels incredibly vulnerable and emotional and she can’t figure out why this came on all of a sudden. Probably because she had such a great day with Bea. She feels closer to her. Bea places her hand on top of Allies. Allie turns it around so she can hold Bea’s hand fully. “I’m sorry. I just got emotional all of a sudden and I really don’t know why.” Allie says hoping that she isn’t being too much. Bea smiles shyly. “I feel very safe with you too. I’ve only trusted a few people in my life, Franky, Bridget and my daughter. Then you came into my life....” Allie squeezes Bea’s hand. “I think after tonight we should wait to see each other. We need to get together Monday and maybe even Tuesday for Wednesday’s hearing. I want you to know that it is not because I don’t want to see you, because I do.” Allie says trying to read Bea’s reaction. “I understand. I would never do anything to jeopardize your career. I care too much about you.” Bea smiles. “Thank you Bea. I’m glad you understand....I should go home....” Allie says but leans forward, hoping to get one last kiss before going home . Bea leans closer too. Allie’s lips are so close to Bea’s. She pauses to see any resistance from Bea and when she gets none, she gently kisses Bea. Allie sighs and puts her hand on Bea’s cheek. The kiss is chaste but Bea lets out a soft moan. Bea puts her hand on the back of Allie’s neck and draws her closer. Allie increases the intensity of their kiss, without increasing the pressure of her lips. The kiss is electric and after a while both of them part panting. Bea initiates kissing Allie again and licks Allie’s bottom lip gently. Allie opens her mouth letting Bea’s tongue in. Allie is bewildered at how Bea went from nervous and shy to confident and passionate. Allie moans a little louder. She knows she should end the kiss but the emotion she feels and the flutter between her legs is making it hard. Bea is surprised by the overwhelming want and need she has to kiss Allie. She has never felt it before and it’s making her heart race. Their tongues dance together softly and Allie nips Bea’s bottom lip lightly, eliciting another moan from Bea. Allie is so lost in the kiss but when Bea’s hand touches Allie’s knee, she suddenly pulls away. Bea looks worried thinking that Allie doesn’t want her to touch her and her insecurities come flooding back. “I’m sorry Bea. If I don’t stop..... I really need to go.” Allie says regretfully. “I understand Allie. I’m sorry....” Allie interrupts her with a soft kiss. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” Allie says and then stands up. I will see you next week. If you need anything, you can still call me anytime. That won’t change. Okay?” Allie wants Bea to know that she is there for her and not because she has feelings for her. Bea nods. They walk to the door and before leaving hugs Bea tightly. Have a good week beautiful girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of your wonderful comments. It encourages me to keep writing.


	24. Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry hires a lawyer. Maxine calls Allie out about Bea. Allie calls Bea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that I would be posting at a later date but I couldn't resist. The next chapter will take me a while and I wanted to give you something before then.

Harry has a meeting this morning with his lawyer, Larry Shulton. He needed to talk to him about contesting the divorce. There was no way he was going to let Bea leave him or take his daughter without a fight. Jail cell or no jail cell. All Harry could think about is how he is going to make Bea and her dyke friend pay. They cost him his job, his freedom and his pride. Joey visited him a week after he was locked up and told him that his position could not go unfilled for four months and that they were letting Harry go. Hearing the news, Harry exploded and assaulted Joey in the visiting room resulting in a visit to the slot for 48 hours. That was fine by Harry. He just used that time to cultivate a plan for revenge after his release. A screw walked into Harry’s cell and told Harry to come with him, his lawyer was here. As they walked through the corridors to the private room held for lawyer-client consultations, several prisoners stared at him menacingly. Harry tried to act tough but they knew he was full of shit. The first couple of days in jail they had been provoking him into a fight. At first, he didn’t respond but then one said that his wife was probably sucking some other guy’s dick right about now and Harry exploded. This resulted in a beating doled out by three prisoners. The screw unlocked the door to the room and opened it. There is a middle-aged man sitting at the table who must be his lawyer. “Good morning Mr. Smith. I am Larry Shulton. I will be testifying on your behalf at the divorce hearing next week,” says Shulton. Harry sits down across from him. “Where did you get all of the bruises?” Shulton asks. “I fell.” Harry says wryly. They look at each other for a while. “Ok, so…I will attend the hearing and I will tell them that you are contesting the divorce. I will contest custody, maintenance, child support and equitable distribution. In other words, everything they filed. Especially the order of protection. Now, Mrs. Smith is claiming inhuman treatment or domestic abuse. She will have the burden of proof. Did she file any police reports saying you abused her or pressed charges?” Shulton asks. “Nah, she knows better than that.” Harry looks directly at Shulton challenging him to say anything. Shulton is beginning to look uncomfortable. “You will have to provide a statement of net worth. You will need your tax returns, value of your home, paycheck stubs, bank accounts, retirement funds, vehicles, etc. I have the form here. Either you can give me access to those records to get them or I will arrange for you to call or use the internet to get them. The hearing on Wednesday will be to discuss with the judge the issues of your case and then what you will need to produce at the next hearing. If you don’t disclose any assets you have or try and fudge the values you could face perjury charges. So, we need to do this right,” says Shulton. “Whatever, just help me get this shit over with. She’s not getting Debbie and she certainly isn’t getting any of my money or stuff.” Harry says threateningly. Shulton realizes that he hopes it goes well for his wife. Harry probably is a bastard and hurt her and maybe even the kid. Shulton will do his best for Harry but he’s had clients like his and he hates representing them. “Are we done here?” Harry asks grumpily. Shulton pushes the button to let the guard know they are done. “I wouldn’t think you would be too eager to get back to general. Seems like there are a lot of slippery places to fall.” Shulton digs. The guard walks in and Harry stares at Shulton with contempt.

A couple days later Maxine calls Allie. “Hey Maxine, what’s up? “Do you time to have lunch with me today? I don’t have a client from 1-3. Maxine asks. “Uh…let me check my calendar.” Allie pretending she doesn’t know what her day is like. “Don’t give me that crap. I know you have been avoiding me.” Maxine says firmly. Allie doesn’t say anything, she just sighs. After a long pause, “ok let’s meet at Carrabas at 1:30,” says Allie. ‘Alright then, see you in a bit.” Maxine hangs up. Crap, Allie knew she couldn’t avoid Maxine forever.

Carrabas is a popular Italian restaurant where the acoustics aren’t great but the food is. Allie asked for them to be seated in the far back room so they can actually hear each other during lunch. The hostess seats them and Allie is nervous. She knows how Maxine is going to react when Allie tells her what has transpired between her and Bea. Allie could omit those parts but Maxine is her best friend and one, she would see right through it and two, she can’t lie to her. Once seated, they order drinks, Maxine’s staring at Allie the whole time. Allie is uncomfortable and grabs a roll and butter. “How are you Maxi? It’s been a while.” Allie says with a mouthful of bread. “Nothing of interest going on in my life. I am concerned something is in yours. You have been avoiding my calls. The only time you do that is when you don’t want to tell me something.” Maxine says with one eyebrow raised. Allie sometimes hates that Maxine knows her so well and this is one of those times. “Things are good. My cases are going smoothly.” Allie says hoping that will be enough. “What about Bea? How are things going there?” Maxi getting to the real conversation. “Before you lecture me, I may not know what I am doing exactly but there are boundaries in place now.” Allie says sheepishly. “No, I think you do know what you are doing and the boundary lines seem to be further out than they should be judging by the expression on your face.” Maxine looks disappointed. Allie hates when Maxine is disappointed in her. “Ok, I tried avoiding her unless it was case related but she had invited me to dinner last weekend and when I said no, she thought she had done something wrong. I felt terrible because none of this is her fault. So, I went to her house and all I wanted to do was to explain to her what was happening for me and then set the boundaries. I wound up telling her that I had feelings for her but could not cross that line. She said she has feelings for me too Maxine. I told her that if we both felt the same way, we would have to wait until she was no longer my client. She understands. Only I did cross a line Maxine. I kissed her….more than once.” Allie says waiting for Maxine’s reaction. “Did you stop seeing her outside of working on her case since you kissed her? Maxine says without any more irritation in her voice. “I went to her daughter’s birthday dinner on Friday and to the fair with them on Saturday. Her friends were there on both occasions. Saturday night I told Bea that we couldn’t see each other until next Monday when we prepare for the hearing on Wednesday. We haven’t spoken since then. It’s been 4 days.” Allie says looking miserable. “Allie, I am really worried about you. I have never seen you like this. This woman is really getting under your skin. Certainly enough for you to have a serious lapse of judgement.” Maxine says with concern in her eyes. “I know,” says Allie. The server takes their orders and refreshes their drinks. “I would ask you what to do but I already ignored your advice and dug myself deeper. I wouldn’t have sex with her until the divorce comes through. I can feel certain of that but not being able to hold or kiss her or more importantly see her will be like torture. I’m in love with her Maxi.” Allie confesses with tears in her eyes. “I know I have only known her for a month but it’s true, I love her.” Allie says wiping a tear that has escaped down her cheek. Maxine squeezes her hand. ‘I can see that. I can also see that you won’t be able to stay away from her. I can’t believe I am saying this but, hugging and kissing has to be the farthest you go with her. Don’t do anything in public and try, try, try to keep it to a minimum. I hate myself for even saying any of this. But, I hate seeing you so torn up.” Maxine says sympathetically. Allie nods. The topic of conversation moves on and the women enjoy each other’s company. It had been a while since they had spent time together.

Bea misses Allie, it has been four days since they last spoke. Bea wants to call her but doesn’t. She has to respect the boundaries Allie has put in place. They are there for a good reason. Bea spent her time working, drawing and hanging out with her daughter. Work was really good but Liz and Boomer had noticed that Bea was moping around. Bea thanked them for their concern but said that she was fine. Tonight she was on her own. Debbie is staying over at Sky’s. Bea didn’t mind being alone but it gave her too much time to think about Allie. She thinks about Allie’s beautiful expressive blue eyes that look at her so adoringly. The smell of her perfume and the feel of her lips against her own. She never in a million years thought that she would like the touch of another person, let alone to be kissed and feel as if her body was set on fire. Bea knew she needed to find something to do to take her mind off Allie. She decided to watch a movie. Flipping through the channels and then the menus on Netflix and Amazon, she settled for the movie Bound. It was supposed to be a sexy thriller where two women set up a plan to steal the money from one of the women’s boyfriend who happened to be in the mob. This is right up Bea’s alley. What she didn’t realize was that the two women fall for each other and there are several scenes where they touch each other and where they have sex. To say that Bea became aroused would be an understatement. She has watched plenty of movies with sex scenes and even a few with women having sex together but this was off the charts steamy. Bea felt the arousal build from extremities toward her core. She has never felt anything like it except for when Allie kisses her. Once the movie was over, Bea went in to her bedroom and got ready for bed. She picked up a book and was going to try and distract herself from the arousal that was coursing through her body. She tried to read but she wound up reading the same sentence over and over again. She thought about touching herself but she had never done it before and she felt embarrassed at even the thought. Most women touch themselves, Bea thought. Why can’t I? Then Bea heard the tape being replayed. “You’re a frigid bitch. No one would ever want to fuck you. You’re ugly….” Harry says over and over. Bea felt stupid and ashamed. The sound of Harry’s voice killed whatever arousal she was feeling. Bea started to cry and then sob. She curled into a ball and held herself. How can Allie ever really want me? I am so damaged. I can’t give her what she needs, what she deserves. Bea must have fallen asleep because the phone ringing startled her. “Hello?” Bea says groggily. “Hi Bea.” Allie says softly. “Did I wake you?” Allie checks the time and it’s still pretty early. “Yeah, I must have drifted off. Is everything ok?” Bea is surprised that Allie called her. “Everything is fine. I just….I just wanted to hear your voice.” Allie says quietly, knowing she shouldn’t have called. “Is it okay that I called? I know I said that we should have no contact until Monday but...I am weak when it comes to you.” Allie softly laughs at herself. “Yes, of course it’s okay…..I’ve missed you,” says Bea. “I’ve missed you too.” Allie says with a sensuality she couldn’t control. “What have you been up to?” Allie asks. “Mostly work. I left early today. There were no appointments for me. Debbie left for the night. She’s staying over at Sky’s so I watched a movie and then was reading in bed and must have fallen asleep. “What movie did you watch?” Allie asks. Bea hesitates. She feels like she’s done something naughty and has been caught. “Bea?” Allie asks. “Um, it’s called Bound. You probably haven’t heard of it.” Bea says hoping Allie hasn’t. “Oh, I’ve seen it a couple of times. How did you like it?” Allie says smiling to herself. “It was, uh…really good. Good twist at the end.” Bea says wishing she had never watched the stupid movie. She can hear Allie grin through the phone. “No, I mean…how did you like the scenes between the women?” Allie knows that she’s probably pushing Bea too hard but her curiosity is getting the better of her. “I mean, I thought they were pretty erotic.” Allie says trying to make it easier for Bea to just agree or disagree. “I thought so too.” Bea says barely audible. Bea was embarrassed but felt better knowing that Allie found it erotic too. “I hope I am not making you uncomfortable by asking this Bea. I am just curious about what made it erotic for you.” Allie says hoping that she can encourage Bea to be okay talking about her feelings toward sex. “I don’t know, I guess I like the fact that they both were comfortable with who they are and what they wanted. They both just acted on their wants and needs and I found it liberating. The actual sex part was ok, although I would rather have seen something more sensual and emotional.” Bea says. She feels very exposed and hopes Allie doesn’t want her less because of her perspective. “I could see where that would be a turn on for you. You haven’t experienced it before. I think based on the increased confidence you've shown since I’ve met you, eventually you will be able to ask for what you want when you are ready. I hope you know that I am not asking you these questions to sate my own needs. I am asking because I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about anything, even sex. I know Harry made sex an awful thing for you, but I would like help you change that. I don’t just mean by being intimate with me but with anyone you chose to gift with that part of you. I want you to be happy above anything else. Do you understand what I mean?” Allie asks, hoping Bea really does understand. “I think so….so, it’s not a turn off that I am inexperienced and have all of these hang ups about sex?” Bea worriedly. “No, of course not Bea. I am so thrilled I get to hold your hand and be in your presence. Kissing you feels like I won the lottery. Everything about you turns me on but what we are doing right now…having an intimate conversation without any physicality…means more to me than any orgasm. I hope you can understand the difference.” Allie says tenderly. Bea’s heart swells. She does understand what Allie means. It’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to her. She feels closer to Allie. “I do, Allie,” says Bea. “Good, I am going to go beautiful. I got to hear your voice and now I can go to sleep. Sleep well. I will see you on Monday.” Allie says with such tenderness and love. “Good night Allie.” Bea says mirroring the same sentiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of the wonderful comments I have been receiving. I know that you are probably getting frustrated that I keep making you waiting for Allie and Bea to finally consummate their love for each other. I think in the end you will be happy I waited.


	25. A Taste of Your Own Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a bad night. Allie visits her mother. Bea can't stop thinking about Allie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want the next chapter to be too long so I am breaking it up.

Harry was not looking forward to being in the rec area. The guys that beat him up before were still focused on him. He didn't think that they would attack him here but he wasn't taking any chances. Harry leaned against the wall so no one could sneak up behind him. One of the inmates, Jimmy that has shown any interest in befriending Harry walked over and leaned against the wall next to him. "I overheard John talking to his buddies. They are planning something for you. I would watch your back. ." Jimmy warned. "What the fuck is their issue with me?” Harry spat. "Dunno but they've got it in for you.” Jimmy shook his head. "So what do I do? I can't take on all three of them.” Harry said starting to worry. ”Don’t know what to tell you but I'm staying out of it.” Jimmy walks away. Harry kept to himself the rest of the day and dinner was uneventful. He decided to take his shower after dinner when everyone was in their cells. No one was in the showers when he got there. He turned the water on and lifted his face into the stream of hot water. Grabbed his shampoo and washed his hair. After rinsing the shampoo out he grabbed the bar of soap. He is washing his body when he heard footsteps close behind him. He turned around and the three men who have been giving him shit are standing there, John has a shit eating grin on his face. He walks closer and Harry looks around for a way out. He knew this was going to be bad. Harry balled up his fists and steadied his feet as best as could given that he was standing in water. John rushed him punching Harry against his cheek. Harry stumbled but managed to stay upright. The other two men started approaching him. John punched Harry in the stomach and he doubled over and slid to the floor. John turned the shower off and grabbed Harry by his hair, dragging him to the middle of the bathroom. Before Harry could scream, one of the other two men kicked him in the face. Harry’s hands immediately moved up to protect his face and John kicked him in the stomach again. The other two men took turns kicking him in the back, his face and his sides. This went on for what felt like an eternity for Harry. Eventually Harry passed out. The last thing he remembers is being carried out on a gurney and into an ambulance. He passed out again.

On Saturday, Allie had arrived at her mother’s house with a bouquet of tiger lilies. Ellen embraced Allie and pulled her into the house. “It’s so good to see you sweetheart.” Ellen beamed. “It’s good to see you too mom. How are you feeling?” Allie asks. Ellen had been tired a lot lately and Allie was concerned. “Oh, I must have a bug. It’ll pass.” Ellen says “You’ve been like this for 3 weeks mom. Have you been to the doctor?” Allie is not understanding why her mother is being so casual about it. “I took some blood tests on Friday. The doctor doesn’t seem too concerned,” Ellen says looking uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. Allie knows something is wrong but she doesn’t press the issue. “Please let me know what the results are.” Allie says more like a directive than a suggestion. Ellen wipes a blonde lock from Allie’s face and smiles at her daughter. “You worry too much about me Allie.” Ellen walks to the kitchen and pulls out of the refrigerator a platter of cut cheese, prosciutto and other meats. She grabs a box of crackers from the cupboard. Brings it all into the living room, setting them on the coffee table. “Allie, be a dear and grab the wine in the fridge and some glasses.” Allie does as she’s asked. “What do you want to play? Gin? Cribbage?” Ellen asks. “Gin for points.” Allie smirks. “Don’t get cocky Allie, it isn’t attractive.” Ellen laughs. “Oh come on, it’s part of my charm.” Allie laughs. Allie shuffles and deals the cards. “Speaking of your charm…what’s the latest on your client? The one you are interested in.” Ellen asks wondering if it’s a topic that’s free to discuss. Allie is quiet for a moment. “I told her how I feel. She feels the same way but she is scared. I explained that if she is interested in pursuing anything further than expressing her feelings then we would have to wait until the divorce was final.” Allie cleared her throat. “Then I fucked that up. I kissed her. Not once either.” Allie looked down with embarrassment. “This woman must be really special for you to have crossed that line, let alone told her you how you feel about her. Please don’t beat yourself up Allie. You are only human. We can’t help who we fall in love with.” Ellen smiles at her daughter warmly. “Gin!” Ellen exclaims. Allie laughs, spreading her cards on the table for her mother to count the points. Allie grabs a cracker, cheese and prosciutto and stuffs it in her mouth causing Ellen to laugh. “How is Maxine doing?” Ellen asks. “She’s good. I think she’s lonely though. The last date she went on wasn’t good.” Allie said remembering the disaster it caused. “Does she know that you and your client kissed?” Ellen asks. ‘Yeah, she’s not too happy with me.” Allie frowns. “She only has your best interests at heart Allie.” Ellen puts her hand on Allie’s. “It will work out. You deserve to be happy,” says Ellen. The women played until Ellen won reaching 500 points. “I am going to get going mom. This was fun. I really have missed you.” Allie says warmly. “I’ve missed you too kiddo.” Ellen hugs Allie. They walk to the door. “Mom…please tell me what the doctor says.’” Allie makes her mother look her in the eyes. “I promise,” says Ellen.

Bea finished her shift and heads home. It was a particularly profitable day. She thinks about calling Allie to see if she would let Bea take her out for a nice dinner. Probably not a good idea she tells herself. Debbie has been spending all of her time with her new friends so she has nothing to distract her from her constant thoughts of Allie. She thinks about taking a drive or going to the beach but that won’t solve the problem of getting lost in her thoughts. Bea decides to order a pizza and open a bottle of wine. There must be a good movie to watch. Bea takes a shower and put on her pajamas and gets settled in for the night. The phone rings. Bea’s heart starts racing, hoping it’s Allie. “Hello?” says Bea. “Well hello there.” Allie says in a very sexy way. “Bea feels a bolt of electricity go straight from heart to in between her legs. “Hi.” Bea says giggling. “What are you doing?” Allie asks. “I just ordered a pizza and I am drinking wine. I am looking for a movie to watch.” Bea says. “Not another dirty one?” Allie laughs. “I don’t know…maybe.” Bea says still giggling. “Did you just flirt with me Ms. Smith?” Allie asks surprised. “What are you doing tonight?” Bea asks hoping that she can convince Allie to come by for a little while. “I know what I want to do….but I have no plans.” Allie pouts. “What if you came over and I sit on the very end of one side of the couch and you sit on the very end of the other. We could share a pizza, wine and a Disney movie?” Bea laughs. Allie is quiet. Bea knows she is thinking about it. Fuck Bea, she scolds herself. Bea knows she is being selfish and starts to retract her offer when Allie says ok. “But only if I get to pick the movie.” Allie sighs in defeat. “Deal,” says Bea. In ten minutes, there is a knock at the door. Bea lets Allie in. Allie looks beautiful in her Capris and tank top. Bea couldn’t help but stare. Allie wasn’t faring much better. Allie leans in and kisses Bea’s cheek. Bea blushes. Bea extends her hand to the couch indicating that Allie should sit down. “Wine?” Bea asks. “Yes, please.” Allie smiles. Just as Bea walks into the kitchen, the doorbell rings. “I’ll get it.” Allie says while walking to the door. Allie tips the delivery person and brings the pizza into the kitchen. Bea had already poured the wine and grabbed two plates from the cupboard. As soon as she placed the plates on the counter she was overwhelmed by a need to kiss Allie. She turned around and pushed Allie against the counter, taking Allie off guard. Her eyes are wide open and Bea can see the desire in them. Bea pushes her body against Allie’s and puts her mouth dangerously close to hers. Allie’s chest is heaving she is so turned on right now. She likes this side of Bea but also is very surprised by it. Allie grabs Bea’s hips and moves forward, capturing Bea’s lips with her own. Bea lets out a moan. Allie kisses Bea gently and with such passion. Her body is on fire and she feels dizzy. She pulls back and looks into Bea’s eyes which are dark and reflects the same desire. “Wow, what was that for?” Allie pants. “I figured it would cut down some of the tension while we watch the movie.” Bea says smiling. Allie tries to regain her bearings. No one has ever kissed her like that. Bea places pizza on both plates. “I hope you like pepperoni.” Bea says with a grin. Allie just nods. She is still dumbfounded. Allie grabs the wine and follows Bea to the couch. “You are full of surprises Bea.” Allie says still trying to get her heart rate to normalize. “Was that too much?” Bea asks suddenly getting very insecure. Allie puts her plate and glass down on the coffee table. She stands close to Bea and moves a strand of red curly hair away from Bea’s face. “You never have to feel shy around me. I know I am not supposed to but I love you kissing me. It just caught me by surprise….and I loved it.” Allie says looking for understanding in Bea’s eyes. Bea smiled and nodded. “Ok, I will be picking out the movie for this evening. I can’t trust that you will pick something clean and wholesome.” Allie laughs. They decide on watching 16 Candles, a classic besides being safe from sex scenes. They ate their pizza from their respective places on the couch. The movie ends and Allie gets up and goes into the bathroom. Bea cleans up and then sits back down on the couch with her glass of wine. Allie sits next to her. “I have a really embarrassing question to ask you. Please don’t make fun of me.” Bea says shyly. “I will never make fun of you Bea.” Allie smiles softly. “What does… what does an orgasm feel like?” Allie is completely taken aback by the question. It is so bold of Bea to ask. “I am gathering you have never experienced one?” Allie asks. Bea looks down. “No. You know what it was like….” Bea says uncomfortable with the reminder. “No, I know that. I meant even when you touched yourself?” Allie hopes that Bea doesn’t regret asking her. “I’ve never touched myself before.” Bea keeps her head down. “Can I ask why?” Allie is saddened that Bea hasn’t experienced any sense of pleasure. “I don’t know what to do and since Harry always hurt me down there I never thought it could be pleasurable. I hear about it in movies and everyone seems to be motivated by having one. I am curious what all of the fuss is about.” Bea says looking at Allie with curiosity. “Well, there are different kinds of orgasms, vaginally and clitorally are the most common. It can depend on how you have sex. Some people can have them simultaneously. As far as what it feels like….” Allie moves closer to Bea. “When I kiss or touch you, does it feel good?” Allie asks. Bea nods. “Where do you feel it?” Allie asks. Bea thinks about it and realizes that the more intense feeling is in her groin area. “My whole body tingles and warms but when I feel your tongue touch mine, I feel a jolt in between my legs.” Bea answers trying not to be embarrassed. “Ok, so if I kiss you like this…” Allie moves closer, puts her fingers against Bea’s jaw line. She caresses Bea’s lips with her own and kisses her a little harder, licking Bea’s bottom lip. Bea’s lips part and Allie slides her tongue in and gently caresses Bea’s tongue with her own. Bea feels her heart pound and there is a strong pulsing in between her legs. Allie slowly pulls away. “Did you feel it between your legs?” Allie asks. Bea nods. “Imagine that 10 times more powerful than that and spreads up your abdomen. That is the best way I can explain it.” Allie gives Bea a quick kiss. Bea is quiet for a minute. “Thank you for not making me feel stupid about it,” says Bea. “I never want you to feel like sex is a bad thing or something that you can’t enjoy. You can ask me anything about sex that you want, okay?” Allie takes Bea’s hand in her own. Bea smiles. “Might I suggest something?” Allie asks tentatively. Bea nods. “Try touching yourself. It’s your body and there is absolutely nothing wrong with making yourself feel good.” Allie says seriously. Bea just looks away embarrassed. Allie gently turns head toward her. “There is nothing to be ashamed of and you deserve to feel good,” says Allie. Bea leans over and kisses Allie with gratitude. The kiss deepens and Allie knows that she needs to leave before she gets carried away. Allie gently pulls away. “On that note, I need to leave.” Allie smiles. “It was so good to see you. I really missed you.” Allie confesses. “Me too,” Bea smiles. Bea walks Allie to the door and they embrace in a long hug filled with affection. “I will see you Monday morning Bea.” Allie says and gives Bea soft, quick kiss. “Good night Allie.” Bea closes the door. Bea is now lost in all things Allie once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe episode 2 is just around the corner???? I hope you all have had a good weekend.


	26. No One Is Having a Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate writing summaries. Why do you want to know what's going to happen before reading what's going to happen???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought writing would take up so much of my time! I think next time I will just post my resume since I am sure I will get caught writing at work. I am looking for jobs that include ice cream quality control, rating Netflix movies and television, and dog watching. By watching I mean just that...no walking involved.

Bea is waiting for Allie at the cottage. She and Grace are chatting. Bea told her about Debbie turning 17 and they agree about how kids grow up so fast and before you know it, they leave and start their own lives. Bea realizes that she isn’t quite ready for Debbie to go to college but knows that Debbie needs to experience a life of her own without the drama and pain she has endured growing up. As always, Allie walks through the door bright eyed and baring coffee. “Good morning ladies…. Bea come on back.” Bea is trying to not to look as happy as she feels in front of Grace. Bea missed Allie and it has only been less than 48 hours since she has last seen her. The more she is around Allie, the more comfortable she feels and the more she wants to be around her. Bea sits in the chair in front of Allie’s desk. They smile at each other, basking in the affection they feel for one another. “I was wondering how you have been feeling about the conversation we had the other night. I’m hoping that it didn’t make you uncomfortable even though you had brought it up.” Allie says with concern. Bea was caught off guard by the question. “I hadn’t thought about it. I feel really safe with you so it didn’t have a negative effect on me. It just made me more curious.” Bea says not sure what the right response should be. “Did it make you uncomfortable? Should I not have asked it?” Bea says worried now. “No, no...I have absolutely no problem talking about sex with you. I like you asking questions. Quite frankly, I am glad you are interested.” Allie says smiling. Bea blushes the color of her hair. Allie smirks and decides it is probably best to change the subject. “Ok, so let’s go over what will happen on Wednesday.” Allie checking in that Bea is okay. “Yes.” Bea says smiling. The color dissipating from her neck and face. “There isn’t much that you are going to do. Harry’s attorney, I and the judge will be talking about the case. We will need to provide the documents we gathered, including financials from you. Since the only thing you own is your car, one bank account and what you are earning right now, that will be easy. You will have to provide paycheck stubs. Did you ever file income taxes from your other job?” Allie asks. “I filed a 1099 since I was an independent contractor,” says Bea. Ok, so we will need those documents as well. The judge will give us 2-3 weeks to gather everything. When we meet in court again, the Judge will want to hear your testimony, then the Judge will decide if there needs to be a trial. If he comes to a decision, he may grant the divorce right then and there. If not, we will have to have witnesses, etc. A custody hearing date will then be set. Since Harry is in jail, he will probably have an attorney who will stand in for him. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. The judge may make it so you will have to prove that you have been subject to inhuman treatment. Or the photos and witnesses will piss the judge off enough to not care about Harry’s testimony. It’s a tossup,” says Allie. “Any questions about that?” Allie asks. “No.” Bea says with disappointed. “What is it?” Allie looks concerned. “I thought it would take less time to get to trial.....I know my primary focus is to be rid of that asshole but....I also wanted...” Bea can’t finish her thoughts out loud. She looks at Allie hoping to convey exactly what she means. Allie picks up on it. “I understand. I feel the same way. But, first and foremost...we need to get you free from Harry. Everything else can wait. I can wait as long as you want me to. I am in this...for as long as you want me.” Allie says looking for confirmation that Bea does indeed want her. Bea looks at Allie with such warmth and want that it almost makes Allie cry. “You don’t need to ever question that.” Allie’s heart flutters.

Later in the afternoon, Allie receives a call from her mother. “Hi mom, what did the doctor say?” Allie says hoping it is nothing serious. “Hi honey, the doctor wants me to have some more tests done. He scheduled them for Thursday. I was wondering if there was any way you could go with me. The tests will be performed at Huntington Hospital.” Ellen says hoping it wasn’t too short of notice. Allie is worried now because her mother rarely goes to the doctor and never asks Allie to accompany her. “Of course, I will reschedule my appointments. What kind of tests are they?” Allie asks. “A CT scan and an ultrasound of my liver.” Apparently my liver enzyme count is too high....Allie, it will be fine. Please don’t worry. I just am too tired to drive to Huntington and of course would like your company.” Ellen says not knowing if she is trying to convince Allie or herself. “What time should I pick you up on Thursday?” Allie asks. “The CT scan is at 8am so 6:30am?” says Ellen. “Ok, I will see you then. Oh and mom… I love you.” Allie says with tears in her eyes. “I love you too, sweetheart.” Ellen says with a lump in her throat. After hanging up with her mother, Allie let the tears flow. What would she do without her mother?

Wednesday morning comes faster than Bea would’ve liked. She is incredibly nervous and having difficulty getting dressed. Bea had bought some clothes the day before for both Debbie and her to wear to court. “Mom, try and calm down. You have been pacing back and forth for the last 20 minutes. It’s going to be okay. Today will not determine whether the divorce papers are signed. It’s only for the judge to get acquainted with the case like Allie said.” Debbie says trying to get her mother to calm down. Bea stops pacing and then starts getting frustrated with her hair being in her face. “I need to put my hair up.” Bea says heading for the bathroom. “Breathe mama, breathe.” Debbie follows Bea into the bathroom. Bea catches Debbie’s reflection in the mirror and realizes that Debbie is probably anxious too. After her hair is in a ponytail she stops moving around. Bea looks at her daughter for the first time all morning. “I’m sorry Deb. I am sure you are nervous and I am not making it any better.” Bea envelops Debbie into a loving hug and kisses the top of Debbie’s head. “We should probably head over to the courthouse. Allie is meeting us there in 45 minutes,” says Bea.

Surprisingly, there was little traffic heading to the courthouse. They were early and Bea thought about getting a coffee at the kiosk outside the building but decided against it. She is jittery enough as it is. She and Debbie walk up the stairs and into the building. They sit on a bench outside the courtroom waiting for Allie. Neither Bea nor Debbie say much, they are far too nervous. Debbie sees Allie walking up the hall towards them and taps her mother on the shoulder who is lost in her own thoughts. “Allie’s here.” Debbie whispers. Bea’s eyes meet Allie’s and she almost forgets where she is. Her heart flutters and all she can see is Allie. Bea wonders if this happens to everyone with the person they are attracted to. “Good morning ladies.” Allie says with a smile. “You both look so nervous. Everything is going to be fine. This is the easy part.” Allie says with confidence. “It’s time to go in, are you both ready?” Allie asks. Debbie and her mother both nod and walk into the courtroom. “Bea have a seat over here.” Allie says pointing to the table and chair on her left. “Debbie you can sit behind us. I am going to go talk to Harry’s lawyer.” Allie walks over to the table to the right. There is a middle-aged man removing papers from his briefcase. Allie approaches him smiling. “Are you representing Harry Smith?” The man looks up. “Yes, I will be testifying on behalf of Mr. Smith. I’m Larry Shulton.” He extends his hand. “I’m Allie Novak.” Allie says shaking his hand. The bailiff walks in and announces the honorable Judge Shadwick. Everyone rises and the judge walks up the step to his chair and sits down. “Thank you bailiff. Has counsel filled out the preliminary conference order?” Judge Shadwick asks. Both Allie and Shulton answer “I have your honor.” The bailiff takes the paperwork to the judge who looks over the paperwork. “I see Mr. Smith has counsel testifying on his behalf?” Shulton stands up. “Yes, your honor. Mr. Smith is serving a four month sentence at the Nassau County jail.” Shadwick raises his eyebrow. “On what charges?” he asks. “Assault 3, your honor.” Shulton looks a little uncomfortable. “…and Ms. Smith is filing for divorce on the grounds of inhuman treatment….I take it Mr. Smith is contesting the divorce?” Shadwick asks wryly. “Yes, your honor,” says Shulton. “Ms. Novak, are you counsel for Mrs. Smith?” Shadwick asks. “Yes I am, your honor,” says Allie. “Mrs. Smith is asking for alimony, child support, equitable distribution of assets and a protection order?” the judge asks. Allie says “Yes, your honor.” Shadwick looks at Bea. “I think for now we don’t have to worry about an order of protection. We can revisit that at a later date. I am assuming that the two parties will not be coming to any settlement and that we will have to proceed?” Shadwick asks both attorneys. They both say “yes” in agreement. “Have both sides provided net worth documents?” The judge asks. Allie says, “We have your honor.” Shulton says, “due to the fact that Mr. Smith has limited access to the phone and internet, I will be getting those documents for him. We ask if we can have more time to do so.” The judge shakes his head affirmatively. “Yes, I can give you two weeks to submit the documents. Do you have any objection to that Ms. Novak?” “No your honor. We are fine with that,” says Allie. “Depending on whether I make my decision after reviewing the documents on that day, I will go ahead and set a trial date for July 1, 2017. Mrs. Smith you will have an opportunity to present witnesses on your behalf and I will get your testimony as to why I should grant your requests. Mr. Shulton, I will speak to the county jail about having Mr. Smith appear for his defense,” says the judge. Bea swallows hard. Harry would be in the same room as she. The last few weeks she has felt insulated from Harry and soon she would have to face him and that terrifies her. “Is there anything else counselors?” Shadwick asks. Both Allie and Shulton say “no you’re honor.” “Then this hearing is adjourned.”

Allie, Bea and Debbie walk out of the courtroom. “Are you alright?” Allie can see Bea is uneasy and she is assuming it is because Harry will be at the next hearing. Bea nods but neither Allie nor Debbie are buying it. “Can we leave now?” Bea asks with a childlike demeanor. “Of course.” Allie says. They all walk to the parking garage. “How about we go get some lunch?” Allie asks thinking that if she can get Bea to talk about how she is feeling, maybe it will help reduce her anxiety for now. “I don’t really have much of an appetite,” says Bea. Debbie catching on to what Allie is trying to accomplish says, “I’m hungry. Come on mama.” Debbie says trying to get her mother to look at her. Bea reminds herself that it’s not just about her needs. She needs to be strong and take care of Debbie’s needs to. “Okay baby.” Debbie hugs her mother.

At the restaurant Bea is quiet and picks at her food. They all sit in silence for a while. “Bea, talk to me. What are you thinking?” Allie says trying to get Bea to make eye contact with her. “I don’t know if I can be in the same room as him.” Bea felt anger start to build up inside her. She has been enjoying feeling free of Harry and in 20 minutes she was reduced back to feeling like she had no control over herself or her life. “You didn’t think you could leave Harry or file for divorce, but you did just that. You are stronger than you have ever been. You will get through this Bea.” Allie said with conviction. Bea’s anger took control. “How would you know? Have you ever had someone beat the shit out of you for looking the wrong way? Or put in the hospital for asserting yourself in any way? No. So why don’t you keep your pep talks for your other clients.” Bea growled. Bea stood up abruptly. “Debbie, I will be waiting for you in the car.” Bea walks away. Debbie looks at Allie who looks hurt and surprised by Bea’s reaction. “I’m sorry Allie. I’ve never heard her snap at anyone like that before. She didn’t mean it. Please don’t think she isn’t grateful for all of your help.” Debbie looks distressed with her mother’s sudden outburst.” Allie tries not to let Debbie see how much Bea’s words upset her. “It’s okay Debbie. Go be with her. I will check on you both later when she has had time to calm down.” Debbie leaves the restaurant. Allie feels terrible. She should have known better. Bea is entitled to feel whatever she is feeling. Rather than try and cheer Bea up or promise things she doesn’t know for certain she can deliver, in other words….she tried to take control. That was the last thing that Bea needs. Allie hopes that Bea isn’t really mad at her. 

Bea is shaking by the time she gets to the car. She can’t believe she snapped at Allie like that. She’s getting tired of everyone telling her that everything is going to be fine, that she is doing the right thing. No one knows what will happen. Franky certainly didn’t anticipate getting attacked in her own home by Harry. Bea’s thoughts are interrupted by Debbie opening the passenger door of the car. They sat in silence for a bit. Debbie didn’t think it was her place to point out that Allie is there to help and Bea didn’t feel she needed to explain her behavior. “Shall we go home?” Bea looks at Debbie. “Would it be okay if you dropped me off at the beach? I will have Sky take me home later.” Debbie asks knowing that the intensity of today has effected both of them and they could use some time apart. “Of course baby.” Bea says while pulling out of the parking garage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of the wonderful comments I have been receiving. I hope this story continues to keep you interested in the Allie and Bea universe I have created. 
> 
> Now off to watch episode 2...with dread, excitement, dread, curiosity, dread, anger, dread, hope.....


	27. Sometimes It's Nice to Not Be the Strong One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie takes her mother to get her tests done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I had an Allie in my life.....

Bea woke up feeling like shit. She didn’t call Allie last night to apologize and Allie didn’t call her, she wonders if Allie is mad at her. Bea and Debbie didn’t talk about the hearing or about her outburst . There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to just let it be and move on. Bea was grateful for that. Thankfully she isn’t working today. Bea contemplates going to the beach with her sketch pad, hoping she can calm her mind for a few hours. Later she will call Allie and apologize,. 

Allie didn’t sleep well last night. Between thoughts of Bea and worrying about her mother, she couldn’t quiet her mind. She decided not to call Bea after all. Giving Bea space seemed like a good idea. She had a lot to process and although Bea has been doing really well the past couple of weeks it doesn’t mean the fear isn’t lurking in her mind. Allie wishes she could take all of Bea’s worry and fears away but she knows that the best she can do is be there for. Allie feels the same way about her mother. It’s during these times that Allie feels helpless and that brings her back to her childhood. Today is going to be taxing but she needs to be strong. Allie knows her mother is not telling her everything. 

Allie can tell her mother is nervous. When Ellen gets nervous she picks at her cuticles, a habit she has done since Allie can remember. “Hopefully this won’t take up too much of your day. I hate that you had to rearrange your appointments for me,” says Ellen. “Don’t worry about it mom. If you are good and don’t give anyone a hard time...I will take you out for breakfast and you can have a waffle with whipped cream.” Allie smirks. “Chocolate chip?” Ellen laughs. She loves her daughter so much. She has been her beacon of light. Always trying to help and staying positive when most people would crumble. She just hopes that this woman that Allie is in love with gives Allie the same love and strength. She’s never seen Allie so smitten with anyone. After Kim, Ellen thought Allie would never trust anyone again. The cheating was bad enough but when she started getting violent with Allie, Ellen wanted to kill Kim. Allie is so gentle and kind and Kim never appreciated it instead she took advantage of Allie’s kindness. They arrive at the hospital and walk to the imaging center. After checking in with the woman up front, Ellen and Allie sat in the waiting area. There weren’t many people waiting so Ellen hoped that they could get out of there quickly. As for most people, hospitals make her uncomfortable. The last time she was in one was because her husband had put her there. Not too long after Ellen checked in a man came through the waiting room and called “Ellen Novak?” Ellen let him know that she was Ellen Novak. “Good morning Mrs. Novak, I’m Jeffrey. Why don’t you follow me. We are going to do the CT scan first.” Ellen started following Jeffrey when Allie stood up and asked “can I go with my mother?” Jeffrey smiled. “I’m sorry you can’t but it won’t take too long. I will take good care of her.” Allie sat back down. Then decided to look for some coffee. She didn’t have to go far and after fixing a cup, she sat and watched tv. A morning show was playing and she tried to let it distract her but she couldn’t pay attention. Her phone buzzed, notifying her that she had a text from Bea. “Can we talk later?” Allie was both relieved that Bea contacted her and worried that the talk wouldn’t be a good one. “Of course, are you working today?” Bea’s response came immediately. “I’m not working so if you want to come by after your last appointment...” Allie text back. “I cancelled my appointments today. Spending time with my mother. I will text you after if that’s okay.” Bea responds, “Okay, I will talk to you later. Btw, I miss you.” Allie’s eyes welled with tears. “I miss you too.” Allie texts back. Ellen is done with the CT scan and the ultrasound an hour later. “How did it go?” Allie asks. “They can’t tell you anything. Only the doctor can tell you what the results are. Hopefully I will know later today. Jeffrey said they get the results quickly and then send them right over to the doctor who ordered them.” Ellen says looking worried. “So, I’m hungry. What about that waffle?” Ellen smirks at Allie. 

At the restaurant, Ellen was quiet. “There is something you aren’t telling me isn’t there,” Allie asks. Ellen looked away and visibly tried to hold back her tears. “Mom, please tell me what’s going on,” says Allie starting to panic. “The results of my blood test indicates that I have cancer. The CT scan is to see where the cancer is although they think it is in the liver since my liver enzymes are so high. The ultrasound was done on my liver to see what is going on.” Ellen says not making eye contact with Allie. “I wanted to tell you after they confirmed it,” says Ellen. “Oh mom...” Allie’s struggling to keep the tears at bay. She knew something was wrong. Allie places her hand on her mother’s. Allie doesn’t quite know what to say and they both sit quietly for a minute. “So once the doctor knows, we can come up with a plan to fight it.” Allie says with conviction. “Hopefully we caught it early....” Allie can’t keep the tears in any longer. She covers her face and Ellen waits for Allie to regain her composure. “I am getting tired Allie. Do you mind if we go?” Ellen looks drained. “Of course mom.” Allie has calmed down enough to pay the check. In the car they are both silent. They arrive at Ellen’s house and Ellen’s body language indicates that she doesn’t want Allie to walk her inside. “Thank you for coming with me Allie. I will let know what the doctor says.” She turns and hugs Allie and gets out of the car. The sound of the car door closing sounds final, Allie drives away.

Allie heads straight to Bea’s house, not bothering to text or call her. She knocks on the door and it takes a minute before Bea answers it. Bea can tell there’s something wrong right away. Bea takes Allie’s hand and pulls her inside. Allie starts to cry, “I’m so sorry Bea. Please don’t be mad at me. I was insensitive and I am so sorry....” Bea pulls Allie into a hug and rubs her back. “Shhhhh, it’s okay baby. Shhhhh...” Allie starts sobbing and holds onto Bea tightly. “I’m so sorry I snapped at you Allie.” Bea says as she starts crying. “I know the idea of seeing Harry must be terrifying and I was so insensitive.” Allie is shaking. “Shhhh....” Bea kisses Allie’s cheek and strokes her face, wiping the tears away. “Come sit on the couch.” Bea takes her hand and they both sit down. Bea takes Allie’s face in her hands. “Something else is wrong...what is it Allie?” Allie looks at Bea with eyes filled with tears. “It’s my mother. She was just diagnosed with cancer. We are waiting to see where it is and how bad. They think it’s in her liver.” Bea tells Allie to hold on a minute and goes into the bathroom, grabbing a box of tissues. She walks back to the couch and sits down. “I am so sorry Allie.” Bea pulls Allie into her and strokes her hair. Her heart is breaking seeing Allie like this. Bea kisses the top of Allie’s head. They sit like that until Allie starts to calm down. Allie sits upright and Bea moves the hair off of Allie’s face. “When do you find out where and how bad it is?” Bea asks. “My mother should hear from the doctor today.” Allie sniffles. “I’m sorry , I shouldn’t burden you with this. You have enough to deal with,” says Allie. “Nonsense, I care about you...a lot...and I am always here for you. Just like you are here for me.” Bea says lovingly. Allie tries to smile but she feels exhausted from crying. “Why don’t you go lay down in my room and rest for a little while.” Bea takes Allie’s hand and leads her to the bedroom. “Will you lay down with me?” Allie almost pleads. “Of course I will.” Allie lays on the bed and Bea lays behind her, spooning her while rubbing Allie’s back. They are both tired from crying and drift off to sleep. 

Debbie realized she forgot her wallet when she reached the beach. She rode her bike back home and noticed that Allie’s car is parked on the street. Debbie hopes that Allie and her mother worked out what happened yesterday. Entering the house, she didn’t see either one in the living room. She walked down the hall to her bedroom and noticed her mother’s bedroom door is open. She peaks in to see if her mother is alright. She sees her mother spooning Allie and they are both fast asleep. Debbie is surprised but doesn’t want to disturb them. This is something she can wait to talk to her mother about later. She leaves the house as quietly as she can.

Bea wakes up and thinks she heard the front door open or close but there was no other sound and she figured she had been dreaming. She notices Allie in her arms and she remembers how upset Allie had been. She pulls Allie in tighter and enjoys the feel of Allie’s body so close to hers. The movement wakes Allie up. Allie turns her body around so that she is facing Bea. She is much calmer and Bea thinks the nap did her some good. Bea looks at the clock, they haven’t been asleep for long. Bea reaches out to Allie’s face with her hand, “how are you feeling?” Allie smiles, “much better waking up in your bed.” Bea is surprised at how quickly Allie went from being upset to flirty. Bea blushes. “Thank you Bea.” Allie says seriously. “I am always the one who has to be strong and it feels good to have someone be strong for me for a bit.” Bea looks at Allie with such affection. “I think we are a good team. We can lean on each other.” Bea smiles. They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment and Bea moves closer to Allie. Her lips are barely touching Allie’s and she feels a surge of arousal through her whole body. Allie makes up the distance and presses her lips softly against Bea’s. They kiss for a while softly but with a passion that takes Allie’s breath away. The kiss becomes more urgent and Allie nips at Bea’s lower lip. Bea lets out a soft moan and opens her mouth to let Allie in. Their tongues glide gently against one another’s. Allie moves her body even closer and puts her hand around the back of Bea’s neck. Bea removes any space between them. Breast to breast, hip to hip and Allie’s body is on fire. Allie slips her leg in between Bea’s and their inner thighs touch. Both moan at the contact. Allie kisses along Bea’s jaw line and then moves down her neck. Bea gasps. Allie is so wet. Her hands are on Bea’s lower back trying to pull her even closer. Suddenly she realizes what she’s doing and stops. Allie was so caught up in the heat of the moment, she forgot she can’t do this. She pulls away from Bea. Bea’s eyes are nearly black from desire and Allie could tell she had become lost in her arousal too. “I’m sorry. I got carried away. I just really needed to be close to you,” says Allie, her face flushed. “Obviously I didn’t mind.” Bea smiles. Allie sits up in the bed. “Do you want to go get some lunch?” Allie says trying calm down. Bea laughs. She knows they need to cool off and quickly. “Yeah, that would be good.” Bea gets up and walks to the other side of the bed. They embrace. “I hope I didn’t freak you out.” Allie says softly. “No, it felt so right.” Bea says shyly. Allie smiles and they both head to the living room. “Sonic?” Allie asks. “Sure.” Bea laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still depressed over episode 2. The writers are evil. I don't want to reveal anything for those who haven't seen it yet but grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


	28. Debbie Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debbie talks to Bea about her discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter is short. Will post more later.

After lunch Bea goes back to the house. She goes into her bedroom and sits on the bed in the same place Allie had been lying earlier. Bea can’t stop smiling. Lying in bed holding Allie like that made her feel like she finally came home. Bea is relishing in these new feelings. She could get used to feeling this way every day. She never thought someone would look at her the way Allie looks at her, with such reverence. Bea’s thoughts are interrupted with the sound of the door slamming. “Debbie?” Bea calls. She leaves her bedroom and walks into the kitchen to find her daughter muttering to herself. “Debbie what’s wrong?” Bea asks with concern. “Sky and I had an argument.” Debbie says matter-of-factly. “What about?” asks Bea. “It doesn’t matter…” Debbie clearly wants to talk but is choosing not to. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Bea opens the refrigerator door and grabs a beer. As she is twisting the cap off Debbie asks, “Can I have one?” Bea is surprised by the question. “Excuse me?” Bea can see that Debbie is struggling with something. She knows Debbie well enough to know that there’s something she wants to ask or say but can’t find a way that is comfortable for her. “Okay, spit it out. I know you want to talk about something.” Bea says curiously. Debbie realizes she isn’t going to get any beer so she settles for a diet coke. Turning to her mother she asks, “Did you and Allie sort things out?” Bea is having trouble following Debbie’s train of thought. “Yes, I apologized to her and we are fine.” Debbie nods her head in acknowledgment. “What did you end up doing this morning?” Debbie probes. “Debbie, I don’t know where you are going with this. Please just tell or ask me what you want.” Bea is starting to get frustrated. “Okay, I realized that I forgot my wallet when I got to the beach this morning so I rode back to the house. I noticed that Allie’s car was parked outside.” Debbie paused, waiting for her mother to say something. Bea looked at Debbie trying to figure out what she was getting at. Debbie is getting frustrated too, “I came in the house and neither of you were in the living room so I went to see if you were both actually home….I saw you both asleep in your room….you were holding Allie…” Bea’s face went red. “Oh.” Debbie waited for her mother to explain but could see that she was embarrassed. “Mama are you and Allie….together?” Bea walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. She sat on the couch and patted on the cushion next to her, indicating that Debbie should sit down next to her. “I am not sure how to answer that.” Debbie raised her eyebrow. “It isn’t a complicated question.” Bea was not prepared to have this conversation. “It’s a complicated answer. Look, I know that I’ve hidden a lot from you regarding your father but I have never kept anything else from you….I don’t want to start now.” Bea took a long draw on her beer. “Allie and I have feelings for each other, yes. I don’t know that we are ‘together’ but I think we both want to be. What you walked in on was me comforting Allie. She had received some really bad news this morning and she was exhausted from crying so I told her to lie down and take a nap but she didn’t want to be alone.” Bea wasn’t sure what Debbie’s reaction will be but she can’t lie to her. “I didn’t know that you are attracted to women…” Debbie asks not sure that it even mattered. She just doesn’t know what to say. “Debbie, I have never been attracted to anyone before. Not to your father and not to anyone I have ever met….until Allie. I don’t think it matters that she is a woman. I met your father when I was 16. I never got to explore my sexuality.” Debbie nodded. “You know that I have no problem with you being with a woman, right? I mean, I love Frankie and Bridget and think they have a great relationship. For a while I thought I had a crush on Franky.” Debbie laughs. “I think every woman has a crush on Franky even it was for a millisecond.” Bea smiles and then looks down. “Would you have a problem if Allie and I did date…or whatever?” Bea says hoping that Debbie wouldn’t. “No, I love Allie. I am just in a bit of shock. I guess more than anything, I didn’t see you being interested in anyone. All I want for you mama, is to be happy for once. Allie is a good person and I know she wouldn’t hurt you, at least not deliberately.” Debbie smiled softly at her mother. Bea’s eyes welled with tears. “How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter? You really are something else.” Bea hugs Debbie. “The thing is, Allie and I can’t pursue a relationship until I am no longer her client and a lot can change during that time. So for now, she is a friend. Okay?” Debbie nods. “Does Franky know?” Debbie asks with a wicked smile. “She will give you such a hard time.” Debbie says with delight. “Yeah, she knew before I knew how I felt. You’re right. She is having a field day with it. Thank God for Bridget!” They both laugh. Bea looks seriously at Debbie. “Are we okay?” Debbie kisses Bea’s cheek. “Of course mama. As long as you don’t fall for someone like dad, I don’t care who it is.” Bea shakes her head. “I would rather be alone the rest of my life than be with someone like your father.” Debbie gets up from the couch. “So, what are we eating for dinner?” Debbie says with a serious face. “Are you kidding me? Lunchtime is barely over.” Bea laughs and musses up Debbie’s hair.

Allie decided to go for a long walk after she drove Bea back to her house. Waiting to hear from her mother was making her antsy and she needed to expend some of that energy. Despite being on pins and needles, she was also exhausted. The emotional roller coaster this morning was taking its toll. The devastation she felt hearing that her mother has cancer and then the exhilaration of waking up in Bea’s arms. Allie realizes that she wants to wake up in Bea’s arms every day. 

Allie finished her walk and enters the cottage. Grace is there even though Allie had rescheduled all her appointments for today. “How was your walk?” Grace asks. She has been worried about Allie for the last couple of days. “Good. Cleared my head a little. I am going to take a shower.” Allie walks to the other side of the waiting room and unlocks the door. “Okay honey. If you need anything, please let me know.” Grace says while typing. “Thank you Grace.” Allie walks into her bedroom. The shower helped but her mind was still too active. She looks at her phone to make sure that she didn’t miss a call from her mother. She’s just about to call her when a text comes in.

Bea: How are you feeling?  
Allie: Calmer. Went for a long walk to clear my head and then took a shower. Thank you again for being so supportive. It really means a lot to me.  
Bea: I will always be there for you. If you want to talk later...  
Allie: Thank you Bea. I am going to call my mother and see if she heard from her doctor.  
Bea: Ok.   
Allie: Btw, waking up in your arms was incredible :)  
Bea: I thought so too :) 

Allie dials her mother’s number. “Hi honey.” Ellen answers. “Any word?” Allie holds her breath. She wants to know what the results her but is also afraid to hear them. “Yes, I was about to call you. The doctor wants me to come in tomorrow to go over the results. Do you have any appointments at 11am?” Ellen asks hoping her daughter would be able to be there with her. “Fortunately I don’t. I am open until 2pm. Why don’t I pick you up at 10am?” Allie is thankful that she no longer works for anyone and she has so much flexibility in her schedule. “Sounds good. I will see you tomorrow. I love you honey.” Ellen says. “I love you too mom.” Allie is so happy that they have become so close over the years. They have gotten through so much together and they will get through whatever lies ahead as well.


	29. A New Level of Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am too tired to write a summary....please just read the chapter :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I read some of the fan fiction others have written, I am blown away by some of the writing. It makes me appreciate even more that you are sticking with me and my version of Ballie.

Debbie left the house to see if she could work things out with Sky. Bea takes her sketch book into her bedroom and lies down on her bed. She starts a new drawing of Allie. She doesn’t seem to draw much of anything other than Allie these days. She still can’t believe how someone so beautiful and kind could want her but Bea tries not to go to that dark place. Allie must see something in her. She wonders why Allie’s last relationship didn’t work out. Allie is so generous, affectionate, and smart and has a great sense of humor. There must have been something wrong with her ex for letting Allie go. Bea is so happy that Debbie is fine with her relationship with Allie. Is that what she should call it? Whatever it is right now is good. She isn’t sure she is ready for anything more. Or is she? Holding Allie in her arms felt so good, so right. Bea knows that she needs to focus on getting rid of Harry before thinking about whether she can or should pursue any type of relationship with Allie. Bea is sleepy and lays her sketch book down, grabs her red throw, burrows under it and closes her eyes.

Bea hears knocking at the front door. She leaves her bedroom and walks to the door. She opens it to find Allie on the other side. Allie looks very serious. Before Bea could ask her what’s wrong, Allie takes Bea’s hand and essentially drags Bea toward her bedroom. Once inside Allie closes the door, turns and faces Bea. She steps closer to Bea and puts her hands on either side of Bea’s face and draws her near. Allie kisses her with such a passion that it makes Bea gasp. Bea kisses her back with just as much passion and Allie steps even closer to Bea so they are standing with little space between them. Allie drops her hands from Bea’s face and puts her arms around Bea’s waist. Her mouth never leaving Bea’s. Allie’s hands move slowly down to her backside and pull Bea’s hips into her own. Pushing Bea gently against the door, her hands move up Bea’s sides. Bea can hear her heart pounding in her chest. She’s never felt such arousal and she moans. Allie slides her hands underneath Bea’s shirt and across her stomach. She moves them up and over Bea’s breasts. Her nipples harden instantly when Allie’s thumbs skims them. She removes her hands from under Bea’s shirt and threads her fingers in Bea’s red curls, gently pulling Bea’s head back and drags her lips from Bea’s across her jaw line to her neck. Allie can feel Bea’s fast pulse under her lips. She moves up to Bea’s ear and whispers “you are so beautiful.” Allie continues her assault down Bea’s neck and throat and then back up to her lips. Bea’s kissing Allie hard and their tongues are fighting for dominance. Allie’s hands lightly massage Bea’s breasts and move back down her stomach. Allie’s finger runs side to side between Bea’s stomach and the waistline of her jeans and then unbuttons them, pulling the zipper down slowly before she moves her hand lower....a loud car honk outside Bea’s window wakes her up. She feels like she woke up with a fever, she is burning up and there is a throbbing between her legs and she moves her hand under her shorts and over her underwear, they are soaked. Bea can’t believe how real her dream felt. Feeling entranced, she takes Allie’s suggestion to touch herself and learn what makes her feel good. Her hand chases the source of the throbbing and she touches her clit. It is so swollen, even the slightest bit of pressure elicits an intense wave of pleasure. Bea can feel the tension in her inner walls build as she circles her clit with her fingers. The feeling is delicious. She has never felt anything like it. Her head is swimming. She wants to make it last but her finger rubs over the hood of her clit and then she feels an all-consuming warmth. Her eyes clamp shut, her mouth gapes open and she can feel her inner walls contract over and over. It feels like it will last forever. It’s almost too much to bear. As the contractions subside and her heart beat slows down, Bea lets out a long volatile sob. It feels like all of the years of emotional pain is being released into one sound. Her body wracks with sob after sob until she has no more tears to shed and for a moment, Bea finds peace.

Bea takes a shower and gets a beer from the refrigerator. She feels lighter and her head feels clearer. She is about to start on dinner when she receives a text from Debbie.

Debbie: Is it okay if I have dinner with Sky and Kaz?  
Bea: I take it everything is fine between you two?  
Debbie: Yeah, we talked it out. It was a stupid argument.  
Bea: I’m glad you did. It’s fine baby. I was thinking about ordering a pizza and watching some tv. I would like  
to have dinner with you tomorrow night though. We have spent little time together lately.  
Debbie: Definitely. I will even cook ;)  
Bea: I want to spend time with you in the house, not at the ER from food poisoning, lol.  
Debbie: Ha ha mama. I won’t be home too late. Love you to the moon and back!  
Bea: I love you to the moon and back!

Bea ordered a pizza and drank another beer while waiting for it to arrive. Her phone rang and Allie’s name shows up on the caller ID. “Hey stranger.” Bea answers. “Well hello there.” Bea can hear the smile Allie’s wearing over the phone. “Have you eaten?” Allie asks. “I ordered pizza, just waiting for it to arrive. Have you?” Bea asks. “No, I’m starving. Want some company?” Allie says hoping that she isn’t being too needy. “I would love some company.” Bea smiles to herself. 

Allie shows up before the pizza does. She looks adorable in her yoga pants and oversized tank top. She kisses Bea on the cheek and heads into the kitchen with Bea. “Do you want a beer?” Bea asks. She is opening her third. “Yes please,” says Allie. Bea opens the refrigerator, grabs beer for both of them. When she turns around, Allie is right there. Bea places the beers on to the counter to her left and moves closer to Allie. Bea places her hand behind Allie’s neck and pulls her in for a kiss. When they break away Allie smiles widely. “Well hello. You are in an awfully relaxed mood.” Bea smiles shyly and looks away. “Something is different with you. What is it?” Allie tries to get Bea to look at her. “You know, just stuff.” Bea can’t contain her grin. “What kind of stuff?” Allie can’t help but mirror Bea’s smile. Bea takes Allie’s hand and leads her toward the couch but the doorbell rings. Bea walks to the door, opens it and pays the delivery guy. She closes the door with one hand and is holding the pizza in the other. “Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pry it out of you?” Allie teases. Bea puts the pizza box on the coffee table. “I had an interesting conversation with Debbie today,” says Bea. “Oh, do tell.” Allie is curious now. “She came home while we were in my room this morning and saw me holding you while we slept.” Bea said. “Oh shit…I take it the conversation went well if you are smiling.” Allie asks feeling a little apprehensive. “She asked if we were ‘together’.” Bea said not sure how Allie would feel about the answer she gave Debbie. “And what did you say?” Allie asks with one eyebrow raised. “I told her that we had feelings for each other but I didn’t know if we were ‘together” and that for now she should just consider us as friends.” Bea said suddenly feeling awkward. “Oh.” Allie’s face dropped a little. “Are we just friends? Friends that make out occasionally…?” Allie trying to make a joke of it but feeling disappointed that Bea didn’t say that they were together. She knew that they have not spoken about what it is that they are doing but she was hoping that Bea would feel that they were more than friends. “I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know what this is between us exactly.” Unsure of what to say next, Bea got up and got two plates from the kitchen. When she sat back down Allie took Bea’s hand. “What do you want this to be?” Allie asked seriously. Bea is afraid if she says what she wants and can’t deliver that she will hurt Allie. Bea doesn’t answer right away. “When I am with you all I want is to be with you. When I am away from you I doubt that I can give you want you want or what you need. I get confused and then I am in the same room and I am not confused at all. Does that make sense?” Bea implores Allie to help her make sense of her feelings. “It does Bea. I can’t sort out your feelings for you but I can tell you how I feel and what I want.” Bea gives Allie an encouraging look. “I want to be with you Bea. I want to have a relationship with you. I would prefer a physically intimate relationship but if you can’t give me that, then I will take what you can give. If all you want is to be friends, I will be happy with that as well. I am besotted with you Bea and I don’t think that will change. I hope that doesn’t scare you away.” Allie says hoping that Bea doesn’t want to just be friends. “It doesn’t scare me away. I keep asking you over, don’t I?” Bea says trying to lighten the mood. Allie smiles. “Yeah, it’s the Novak charm. It’s harder to resist than Franky’s charm.” Bea laughs. “Okay charmer, let’s eat before the pizza gets cold.” After eating, they clean up and return to the couch. They both lay on the couch on opposite ends facing each other. Allie begins to massage Bea’s foot which earns her a moan here and there for her efforts. They are both relaxed and enjoying just being together. “There was something else that I wanted to tell you.” Bea says nervously. Allie waits patiently for Bea to tell her. I took a nap earlier and I had a dream about you….” Bea’s face reddens. “What kind of dream Bea?” Allie smirks. Bea wants to tell her but she can’t get the words out. She’s embarrassed. “Based on the color of your cheeks and that you are having difficulty telling me….I am guessing it was a sexual dream. Am I right?” Allie is grinning from ear to ear. Bea nods. “Do I get to hear about it?” Allie asks. “You came over and dragged me to my bedroom and kissed me and stuff…you didn’t hold back.” Bea is having trouble making eye contact with Allie. This just makes Allie smile more. “Did you like it?” Allie asks. “I woke up very….very aroused.” Bea’s face is as red as her hair but she’s finding that the several beers she’s had is helping her to find some courage. “Reallly….did you do anything about it?” Allie didn’t think Bea did but she is enjoying this side of Bea. Bea nods her head yes. Allie’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Really?” Bea grins and looks down. Allie moves from her position on the couch. She lifts Bea’s legs and sits down close, lowering Bea’s legs on to her lap. “I know you are too embarrassed to give me details. I am just curious....did you...?” Bea is having trouble making eye contact again. “I did.” Bea’s smiled shyly. “That’s so wonderful Bea.” Allie said tenderly, tears forming in her eyes. Bea realized in that moment that Allie got it. She understood what it meant for Bea. It wasn’t about getting off, it was about allowing herself to take back some of the power that was taken away by Harry. It was about allowing her to feel something other than worthless. It was about claiming her body. Allie got all of that and Bea loved her for it. Allie didn’t make it about sex itself. She got it. Tears streamed Bea’s cheeks but they were happy tears. They sat on the couch for a while enjoying a new level of intimacy. Touching each other’s hands and arms, playing with each other’s hair and occasionally kissing. Neither of them wanted the night to end but they knew it was best if Allie left before Debbie got home. Bea walked Allie to the door and they hugged. “I don’t think I am confused anymore,” says Bea. Allie smiles and kisses her goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter!


	30. Red Flags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I have said before...I suck at summaries....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a good Easter. Thank you all for the great comments last chapter.

“Mrs. Novak, the doctor will see you now,” says a petite, dark-haired nurse holding what Allie presumed is her mother’s medical chart. Ellen and Allie follow the nurse and on the way to examine room 2 there is a scale and several chairs lined up against the wall of the hallway. The nurse introduces herself as Maggie and asks Ellen to step on the scale. After writing down Ellen’s weight, Maggie takes her temperature, pulse and blood pressure. After Maggie finishes taking Ellen’s vitals, she leads the women to the examination room. Beside the examination table are two chairs, Allie and her mother sit down. Allie feels like she is going to throw up. She can’t imagine how her mother is feeling. “The doctor will be with you in a few minutes,” Maggie says and closes the door. Both women are quiet but Allie takes her mother’s hand and holds it until there is a knock on the door. The door opens and a tall, gray-haired man in his 60s enters the room. “Hello Mrs. Novak,” he says with a warm smile. Ellen returns a weak smile. “Hi Dr. Holden. This is my daughter Allie.” Dr. Holden extends his hand and Allie shakes it. “It’s nice to meet you,” he says. “I have the results to the ultrasound and the CT scan. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your vital organs look perfectly fine, except for your spleen. Your spleen is swollen.” Allie squeezes her mother’s arm. “We will need to take more blood to confirm what I think is going on. I am not sure why your liver enzymes were high when your blood was taken or why there was a positive response to cancer cells. But, I am pretty sure you have mononucleosis. I didn’t consider it earlier because it is uncommon for a women your age to get it, but with all of the other symptoms you have been experiencing, it makes sense now. “So what’s the bad news?” Allie asks feeling some relief. “The bad news is that you had to go through several days of unnecessary stress and that you will have to get stuck with a needle again.” Dr. Holden says winking at Ellen. “I am really sorry that you have had to worry but you should feel a lot better in 6-8 weeks. There isn’t really anything you can do for mono. I do want you to take it easy, do not do anything strenuous or you could rupture your spleen. You can take aspirin for any fever or aching and drink plenty of fluids. Ok?” Dr. Holden puts his hand on Ellen’s and pats it. “Thank you doctor.” Ellen releases a deep breath. “Ok, Maggie will take you over to the lab to get your blood drawn and she will confirm the results in a couple of days. It was nice meeting you Allie.” Dr. Holden smiles, opening the door. Once the door is closed, Allie turned around in her chair and hugged her mother. “Thank God.” Allie says, the emotion stuck in her throat. Ellen hugs Allie back firmly. There is a knock and Maggie opens the door. “Please follow me Mrs. Novak. We will get your blood drawn and then you can be on your way.” Maggie smiles, holding the door to the examination room. Allie and Ellen follow Maggie. While Ellen is in the lab, Allie pulls out her phone and sends a quick text to Bea.

Allie: Good news! Mom has mono, not cancer. The original blood test showed a false positive for cancer. I am  
so relieved. I hope your morning is going well. 

On the way back to her mother’s house, Allie suggests that they stop off at Walgreens to pick up anything Ellen might need for the next few days. “I’ll wait in the car if you don’t mind. It’s been a stressful week and I am exhausted.” Ellen smiles at her daughter. “Of course mom. Is there anything in particular that you want?” Allie asks as she unbuckles her seatbelt. “No honey. Well, maybe a few crossword puzzle books,” says Ellen. Allie goes up and down the aisles, grabbing the things she thinks her mother will need or might keep her entertained. She grabs some chocolate candies for good measure. Allie pops the trunk and is placing the bags inside when her phone vibrates. It’s a text from Bea.

Bea: That’s great news!!! I have been worrying all morning.  
Allie: : ) Stopped by Walgreens and picked up the usual getting better supplies. Heading back to her house,  
then the office. What are you up to tonight?  
Bea: I told Debbie to be home for dinner tonight. I’ve hardly seen her lately.  
Allie: Sounds nice : ) Say hi to her for me.  
Bea: I will. I’ve got to go, my break is almost over. I will talk to you soon.  
Allie: Bye beautiful.

Bea arrives home shortly after 5pm. Her last client was a handful to say the least and Bea was tired. The smell coming from the kitchen was wonderful and Debbie had music on while she was cooking. “Hi mama!” Debbie says excited to see her mother. “Hey baby, what are you cooking? It smells great.” Bea says walking straight to the refrigerator to get some wine. Lord knows she needs it after miss “I need my hair to be this exact color or my husband will be unhappy.” Bea wanted to tell her that she should dye it green and tell her husband to go fuck himself. But instead, she smiled and tried her hardest to make the woman happy. Apparently she did because the woman gave her a $50 tip. “Beef Bourguignon with asparagus and new potatoes. I was watching the food network…” Debbie laughed. “Wow, that’s so sweet of you to go to all of this trouble Deb. I just wanted to spend time with you, not get pampered.” Bea says impressed by Debbie’s effort. “Dinner should be done in 30 minutes, go get changed and relax.” Debbie says enjoying making her mom happy. When Bea came out of her room, she was wearing pajamas and Debbie laughs. “I didn’t think you were going to get that comfy…I thought maybe you might want to invite Allie over for dinner.” Debbie suggests. “No baby, I want to spend time with you and catch up on what you’ve been up to and generally just check in with how you are doing. I can see Allie another time.” Bea says while walking over to her daughter and embracing her into a hug. Debbie hugged her mother tightly, kissed her on the cheek and went back to getting dinner ready. 

“Oh my God Debbie, this is delicious!” Bea exclaims. “You are not just saying that?” Debbie asks with some insecurity. “No Debbie, you really did a great job. I need to get you to cook more, now that I know you can make more than pancakes. You’ve been holding out on me.” Bea laughs. “So what’s been going on this week?” Bea asks between mouthfuls. “Nothing too exciting. Mostly hanging out at the beach. Kaz has dropped Sky and I off into town a couple of times.” Debbie says. “Well, that was nice of her. We need to invite her and Sky over some time for brunch or dinner.” Bea says appreciating the kindness Kaz has shown Debbie over the weeks. “That would be great. Kaz really likes you. She told me that everyone at the salon really likes you and think you are a great addition to their family.” Debbie says proudly. “Well that is so nice of them to say. Even Boomer?” Bea laughs, she has grown fond of the boisterous woman. “Even Boomer.” Debbie laughs. “I really am glad that Liz took a chance on me.” Bea says more to herself than to Debbie. “So, what was the argument you had with Sky about might I ask?” Bea has been curious about what happened between them. “Oh, it was stupid really. She’s been introducing me to her friends and there is this guy, Shane that she has had a crush on. I didn’t know she liked him and he asked me out. She got mad and thought it was wrong for me to have interest in him considering how she felt. She overreacted basically. I told her that I had no idea that she liked him and told her that I wouldn’t encourage him. When she realized that she hadn’t told me how she felt, she knew that she was in the wrong. She actually encouraged me to go out with him.” Debbie says. “Tell me about Shane. Do you like him?” Bea asks feeling a little bit of sadness that her baby has grown up. “Yeah, I like him. He’s cute and funny. But…” Debbie hesitates. “But what?” Bea asks. “I don’t know how to say this without making you feel bad.” Debbie frowns. “Debbie, I know you would never do or say anything to hurt me. You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves.” Bea says worried that her daughter sees her as someone to tip toe around. “It’s just that I don’t trust my judgment. What if he’s like dad? Nice in the beginning and then mean to me later. How do you know?” Debbie is clearly struggling with this thought. “I don’t know how you know for sure that anyone has the best intentions, honey. I guess the best advice I can give you is to look for red flags.” Bea wished she would have listened to her intuition when she met Harry. “Red flags?” Debbie isn’t sure what her mother means. “Yeah, it’s when you hear or see people do things that give you pause or make you uncomfortable. I truly believe that people reveal themselves when you first meet them or you have only known them a short time. It’s like when you met that woman Jan, the one Franky was dating. You didn’t like her when you met her. Something about her set off alarms for you and you told Franky. Shortly after we found out that your intuition was right.” Bea says hoping she was explaining it right. “Oh okay, I get it.” Debbie nods. “Do you get red flags with Shane?” Bea hopes that Debbie is intuitive enough to be able to avoid the mistakes she has made. “No, but I haven’t really talked to him outside of being with other people. I will pay attention though, I promise.” Debbie can see the worry in Bea’s eyes. “Thank you mama for always being there when I need you. I know you doubt me when I say this but you really are a great mother and I am so glad I have you.” Debbie says seriously. Bea’s eyes well with tears. Debbie gets up from the table and starts clearing their plates. “No, I will clean up. You made a lovely dinner kiddo.” Bea smiles. “Would it be okay if I head over to Sky’s and spend the night?” Debbie asks. “Yes baby. Go have fun, but be safe.” Bea will always worry about Debbie. “Thank you mama. I love you to the moon and back.” Debbie says giving her mother a hug. Bea kisses her on the top of her head. “To the moon and back.”

Debbie leaves and Bea is almost finished with the dishes when she receives a text from Franky.

Franky: Hey Red. I was wondering if I could stay with you Saturday night.  
Bea: Of course, you know you are always welcome. Did something happen between you and Bridget?  
Franky: Not at all. Her parents are visiting and I wanted to give them some alone time.  
Bea: Ok. Good. I thought maybe Bridget finally wised up to your asshole ways ; )  
Franky: Bridget will never leave me. I am too good in bed and no one can fight the Doyle charm….:P  
Bea: Except me and Allie.  
Franky: You wound me Bea. Do you need to check with Allie in case she thinks that you aren’t safe with  
me?  
Bea: You’re funny. I’ll see you Saturday. Send my love to Bridget. Xoxox  
Franky: You just can’t keep yourself from making a pass at me, can you Red? Lol, ok I will.

Bea puts her phone down and shakes her head. The phone rings and Bea thinks it’s Franky and says “you just can’t stop flirting with me can you?” There is a pause. “I hope that question is directed at me or should I be jealous.” Allie giggles. Bea laughs, “I thought it was Franky. We were texting and she was her usual self.” Allie was quiet. “Oh.” Allie felt a pang of jealousy even though she knows nothing would ever happen between Bea and Franky. It was just a knee-jerk reaction. Bea picks up on it. “You know nothing would ever happen between Franky and me, right?” Allie silently reprimands herself for even going there. “Of course I do. How are Franky and Bridget?” Allie asks hoping to steer the conversation to a different direction. “They are good. Franky asked if she could spend Saturday night here. Bridget’s parents are in town and Franky wanted to give Bridget some time with them without her. I think it’s because Franky gets uncomfortable with family situations. Anyway, how is your mom feeling?” Bea doesn’t feel it is her place to talk about Franky’s private business. “She’s tired but good. How was dinner with Debbie?” Allie asks. “It was great. She cooked me a wonderful dinner and we had a really good talk.” Bea is overcome with emotion. She misses Allie. “Hey…” Bea says quietly. “Yes beautiful.” Allie says feeling the warmth in Bea’s voice. “I miss you.” Bea says with a sultriness to her voice. Allie sighs. “I miss you too.” Allie whispers. “Why don’t you come over? Debbie is out for the night. You can bring your pajamas and we can watch a movie and cuddle.” Bea says with a rasp. “You’re killing me Bea.” Allie’s heart rate speeds up. Bea giggles but let’s the question remain in the air. “Okay. I will be over in a little while,” says Allie.

Allie arrives 45 minutes after they hung up. She is carrying an overnight bag and is wearing a matching pajama set with seahorses on them. She looks adorable and Bea can’t help but grin from ear to ear. “God you look adorable.” Bea says and kisses Allie’s cheek which makes Allie smile widely. “I brought some treats to go along with the movie." It seemed like Allie pulled out 5 lbs. of chocolate, making Bea giggle. “Think you brought enough chocolate,” says Bea. “I think you should know….I am a bit of a chocolate addict. So do I get to pick the movie tonight?” Allie smirks. “Not by the look on your face. We need to watch something rated PG.” Bea teases. “Oh come on, I’ll behave,” Allie walks over and wraps her arms around Bea’s waist. “Unless you don’t want me to.” Allie winks and then leans in for a soft kiss. “I missed you.” Allie kisses Bea again for a little longer. “I missed you too.” Bea smiles and then kisses Allie softly on her lips. Allie pulls Bea tighter into their embrace. Bea’s heart starts racing. She can feel the heat of Allie’s body emanating on to her skin. Bea kisses her with more passion and Allie moans into her mouth. Allie swipes Bea’s bottom lip with her tongue and Bea opens her mouth giving her entrance. Their tongues glide against each other slowly. Bea moans softly and her hands tighten around Allie’s hips. She moves her hands under the hem of Allie’s top so she can feel the warm skin she has been wanting to touch. Allie groans and removes her arms around Bea’s waist to gently stop Bea’s hands from roaming. Allie wants to cry. Bea’s confidence is growing and Allie wants Bea to be able to explore her body but…there is only so much self-control she has. “Oh Bea, if you only knew how much I want you to touch me, but I can’t let things go further.” Allie looks like she is going to cry. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me but since we last talked…I just want to feel your skin on mine.” Bea says sadly. It figures, when she feels braver to touch Allie she can’t. “Let’s pick a movie and cuddle on the couch, ok?” Allie suggests. Bea nods in agreement. 

Allie is lying on the couch spooning Bea while they watch the movie. Neither one of them can focus but they both don’t say anything. Bea’s mind starts wandering back to the question she wants to ask Allie. “Can I ask you something?” Bea asks tentatively. “You can ask me anything beautiful.” Allie murmurs into Bea’s hair as she strokes the unruly red locks. “You don’t need to answer me if it’s none of my business.” Bea says. “Bea, I want my business to be your business. Please ask.” Allie is starting to wonder what it could be. “Why did you and your last girlfriend breakup?” Bea asked and felt Allie’s body become rigid temporarily. “Well for starters, she cheated on me. But, that was the least harmful thing she did.” Bea lightly rubbed Allie’s forearm while she spoke, sensing that talking about it was unpleasant for her. “Kim pursued me. I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship. I didn’t trust myself to pick a healthy partner. She was pretty persistent, buying me flowers, leaving sweet notes on my car, bringing me coffee…that sort of thing. She called me a couple times a week asking me to have dinner with her. It wasn’t that I didn’t find her attractive, Kim was beautiful. I finally caved in after a month of her trying to get me to go out with her. At first she was really sweet and doted on me. She opened doors for me and complimented me often. But as things progressed, she would get irritated if she didn’t get her way or I didn’t give her my undivided attention. That meant that my work became an issue for her. We had a fight one night and broke up but she wound up begging me to come back to her. She was sweet again and things were fine for a few months. She asked me to move in with her and I did. We were doing well until she got it in her mind that I was cheating on her. Every new client, every hostess, every barrista I came into contact with I was supposedly interested in. I of course was not interested and tried to convince her of it but she wouldn’t believe me. One night we were fighting about a woman that I would go running with occasionally. We had the same route on the beach that we ran and we started chatting. We thought it would be nice to have a running partner. Kim didn’t agree….” Bea could hear Allie’s breathing change. “You don’t have to continue if it’s upsetting you Allie.” Bea said with concern. “I don’t want there to be any secrets between us Bea….The night we were fighting about her, she slapped me across the face and called me a liar. I was in shock. I left and stayed with Maxine for the night. Kim begged me to come back and after a while, I did. But, it wasn’t the last time she slapped me. Another night she was in the mood for sex but I wasn’t. We had an argument that night about me cheating and I didn’t want her to touch me. I told her no and she got on top of me in our bed and held me down. She kept trying to kiss me and I kept turning away. She pulled my shirt up and roughly grabbed my breasts and yanked my underwear down and touched me roughly. I was in such shock I stopped fighting her. She got off me when she saw that I wasn’t going to do anything about it. She said ‘I knew you liked it rough.’ The next morning I went to work and when I got home, she was in our bed fucking another girl. She asked if I wanted to join them. I took an overnight bag and stuffed it full of clothes and went to Maxine’s. The only time I went back to the apartment was to get the rest of my things. Oddly, she didn’t try and get me to take her back.” Allie was quiet. Bea sat up and reversed her position so that she was facing Allie. There were tears streaming down Allie’s face. Bea cupped Allie’s cheek and pressed her lips against Allie’s forehead, the corners of her eyes, her nose and then her lips. She pulled Allie in for a hug. “We’re quite the pair, huh?” Allie laughed humorlessly. Bea got up from the couch taking Allie’s hand, turned off the tv and the lights and led Allie to her bedroom. She motioned for Allie to get into bed, Bea followed and spooned her tightly. They didn’t say anything, just cried in the comfort of each other. They fell asleep that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 3 only hours away. I realized that I need to be careful went I look at Facebook. People are really inconsiderate and have been posting clips from episode 3. I don't want to know until I watch the episode!!!!! Let's hope this one is less depressing but I doubt it. One of the FB posts showed a scene that tore my heart up. Did I mention inconsiderate!!


	31. Live by the sword...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary, just read please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. It seemed like a good place to end.

The alarm on Bea’s phone goes off and Bea opens her eyes. She feels Allie’s arm draped over her stomach and she couldn’t help but smile. What a wonderful feeling to wake up to. Bea watched Allie as she started to wake up, she looks angelic. She must have felt Bea staring because she opens her eyes and smiles. “Good morning beautiful.” Bea smiles shyly. “You are the beautiful one.... I have to admit, I could get used to this.” Bea rasps. Allie feels herself becoming aroused instantly. Bea’s voice is even raspier in the morning and Allie finds it so sexy. Allie pulls Bea closer. Bea’s shirt had risen a little while she was sleeping and the feel of Bea’s warm skin on her arm was adding to her arousal. Bea moves in closer to Allie, turning to face her so that their bodies are flushed together. Allie cupped her face, kissing her tenderly. Bea weaves her fingers through Allie’s hair, kissing her ever so softly and slowly. Allie’s leg moves between Bea’s and the feeling electric. Bea tightened her grip in Allie’s hair as she kisses her with more urgency, making Allie moan. Bea’s skin is on fire and she feels the same pulsing between her legs as she felt after her dream the other day. Bea couldn’t get close enough to Allie. Her body had a mind of its own and she gently rubs herself against Allie’s thigh, eliciting a long moan from Allie. She could feel herself getting wetter. It was getting harder and harder for Allie to resist touching Bea elsewhere. Allie moves her hand from Bea’s face to her stomach and slides it under Bea’s shirt which made her shudder with anticipation. She stopped before reaching Bea’s breasts. Bea is getting bolder and Allie is surprised, thinking that Bea would be more shy and reserved. The bolder Bea gets the more Allie wants to take things further. But once again, she pulls away. “Don’t you have to get ready for work?” Allie smirks. “I suppose so.” Bea frowns. Allie kisses her forehead and then gets out of bed. “I need to go home and get ready. I have a 9am appointment.” Allie walks out to the living room and Bea follows her. She gathers her things and Bea walks her to the door. “Thank you for sharing with me last night. I know it wasn’t easy. Thank you for trusting me.” Bea frowns, remembering how she had to relive her past.” Allie looks into her eyes seriously. “Thank you for listening. You’ve been at your most vulnerable in front of me. I trust you with my feelings.” Allie kisses Bea’s lips softly and lingers there for a moment. “I’ll call you later beautiful.” Allie walks out the front door.

Harry walks into the cafeteria, grabs a tray and stands in line. Officer Stewart is staring at Harry from across the room. Harry’s notices that he stares at him whenever he’s around. It’s starting to piss Harry off but he can’t do anything about it. Now that he is thinks about it, Stewart was around when John and his goons attacked him in the shower and he did nothing to prevent or end the beating. Harry takes his tray of food and sits at a table facing Stewart. “What the fuck is his problem with me?” thinks to himself. Harry eats his lunch and then heads back to his work detail, cleaning the showers and bathrooms in his unit. He fucking hates it and can’t wait to get out of this shithole. Harry notices that Stewart follows him to the showers and stands inside watching which is weird because he usually stands outside. “Fuck him,” Harry thinks and starts cleaning the sinks. He gets lost in his thoughts of what he is going to do to that dyke and his bitch wife. He doesn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind him. All of a sudden, he feels himself being grabbed and jerked backwards. John has his arms locked inside Harry’s so he can’t move. Officer Stewart walks over “you hit the wrong girl, Harry”. Stewart hauls off and punches Harry in the gut. Harry tries to protect his stomach but his arms are restrained. A string of punches to the gut makes Harry vomit. “What are you talking about?” Harry says weakly. “Franky Doyle, that name ring a bell?” Stewart asked. She’s a good friend of mine. She told me all about it, you weak little piece of shit. You like to hurt women, do you? Well I am going to make you my little bitch and then you can see what it’s like to be beaten over and over again.” Stewart said angrily, spittle flying from his mouth. Stewart nodded to John and the other two men as he walked outside the shower room. John let Harry go and he fell on to the floor clutching his stomach. The three men kicked Harry repeatedly in the head and stomach until he falls unconscious. 

It was after 3pm when Allie received a call from Larry Shulton. “Ms. Novak, this is Larry Shulton....Harry Smith’s attorney.” Allie sits up in her chair. “Hi Mr. Shulton, what can I do for you?” Allie asks. “The prison doesn’t have Mrs. Smith’s contact information so I contacted you on their behalf. Mr. Smith is in ICU at the county hospital. He suffered serious injuries by other inmates. The doctors don’t know if he will make it. He has internal bleeding and a severe concussion causing blood leaking into his head.” Allie was shocked. “Oh my God.” Shulton continues… “it’s pretty bad and I know under the circumstances, Mrs. Smith probably doesn’t want anything to do with him but can I give the hospital her number or should they contact her through you?” Allie is having difficulty thinking, let alone making a decision on Bea’s behalf. “Is it okay if I call you back after I speak with my client?” Allie asks. “Sure, let me give you my cell phone number.” Shulton gives Allie the information and they hang up. Allie is overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. She wonders how Bea is going to react to the news. She knew that Bea’s shift doesn’t end until 5pm so she thought it best to wait until Bea was at home in case her reaction was bad. Allie thinks about how Debbie might feel. What if Harry does die? You can hate someone and still love them at the same time. Allie has seen that with many of her clients. Debbie never really witnessed her father hitting Bea and he never hit her so Debbie would definitely struggle with how she feels. All she knows is she wants to tell Bea in person.


	32. I'm in Shock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for writing such great comments and for continuing to follow this story.

Allie waited to call Bea until 6pm. She felt nervous, she didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news. Allie wondered if it really was bad news, reminding her of how she felt when her father died. She felt guilty for being relieved that he was dead. Allie wonders if Bea will feel the same way about Harry dying or even him being beaten so badly. Allie calls Bea. “Hi Allie.” Bea says warmly. “Hi Bea... are you going to be home tonight?” Allie asks. Bea notices that Allie asks in her business voice and it makes her uneasy. Maybe someone was in the room with her. “Yes, is everything okay? You sound off.” Bea asks. “Will Debbie be home as well?” Allie asks. “She’s not home at the minute, but I can tell her to come home? Why? You are starting to scare me Allie.” Bea doesn’t know what Allie wants but she is feeling nervous. “Please call me when she arrives and I will come by. I have something I need to talk to both of you about....in person. I am sorry to make you uncomfortable but I really can’t talk about it over the phone.” Allie feels terrible making Bea worry. “Ok. I will call you when Debbie comes home.” Bea says. Bea calls and tells Debbie she needs to come back to the house. 

When Debbie gets home Bea calls Allie and by the time she arrives both Debbie and Bea are full of anxiety. Allie asks them to sit down on the couch. Allie sits on the coffee table facing both of them. “I received a call from Harry’s lawyer earlier. He told me that Harry has been beaten pretty badly by some of the inmates and is in the ICU unit at the county hospital. The doctors don’t know if he is going to make it. He has internal bleeding and a severe concussion.” Allie says trying to gauge their reactions. “His lawyer wants to give your number to the hospital so they can keep you updated and I told him that I would check with you first.” Allie is looking at Bea for guidance. “I don’t know, what do you think Allie?” Bea is in shock, she doesn’t know how she feels about the news. Bea looks at Debbie to see her reaction. Debbie is quiet but has tears in her eyes. “I think you should have them call you directly. They are not going to give out your information to anyone. “ Allie suggests. She sees that Debbie is struggling with her emotions and wants to comfort her but is waiting to see what Bea will do first not wanting to overstep any boundaries. “Ok, he can give my number to the hospital.” Bea says and turns to Debbie. Bea sees the tears streaming down Debbie’s face and wraps her arms around her. Debbie lets out a loud sob. “I don’t know why am I even crying, he’s a monster.” Debbie says between sobs. “Oh baby....he’s still your father. It’s understandable that you are upset. He adores you and that is something that you should hold on to despite what he has done to me.” Bea says without much emotion. Allie thinks Bea may been in shock or something, she has never seen her devoid of emotion and it makes Allie worry. “I’m going to step out for a minute to call Harry’s lawyer while you two talk.” Allie says walking to the door. Outside Allie takes a deep breath. She wants to be there for both Bea and Debbie but she isn’t sure what to do next. She wonders if she should leave them alone and check on them in the morning. The phone rings on the other end, Shulton picks up. “Hello?” “Mr. Shulton, this is Allie Novak...we talked earlier about Harry Smith.” says Allie. “Oh yes, did you talk to your client?” he asks. “Yes, she said it was okay for the hospital to have her phone number, so if you will give it to them I would appreciate it.” says Allie and gives him Bea’s number. “Will do. Have a good night.” says Shulton. “You too.” Allie says and presses the “end” button on her phone. Allie walks back into the house. Bea is still holding Debbie, comforting her the best she could. “I’m going to go lay down for a little while mama.” Debbie says and lets go of her mother. She walks over to Allie, gives her a hug and then whispers in Allie’s ear, “please look after my mom.” Allie smiles at the young woman with tears of her own welling in her eyes. Debbie leaves the living room. Bea is just sitting on the couch. “Do you want me to give you some space to process?” Allie sits on the couch. Bea looks at Allie and immediately embraces her, sobbing into Allie’s neck. “Please don’t leave. I need you.” Bea whispers. Allie responds by hugging Bea even tighter. “I will never leave you.” Allie’s tears slide down her face, hating to see Bea in any pain. They hold each other for a long time, not speaking a word. Eventually Bea lets go of Allie. “I keep vacillating between guilt and sadness. I don’t wish harm on anyone, not even Harry but I can’t help but wish he would die. Does that make me a horrible person?” Bea starts crying again. She is embarrassed and ashamed by her confession. “No, I think the situation is complicated and it is understandable that you are conflicted. He abused you for years and you have been trying to get free from him. Harry dying would essentially free you.” Allie says with so much understanding it makes Bea cry again. “My mother and I had a similar experience when my father died of a heart attack.” Allie confesses. “I am worried about Debbie. She may be angry with Harry but he is still her father. I don’t think she has even processed his brutality toward me yet and now she may have to deal with his death.” Bea feels like she has already failed Debbie. Allie strokes Bea’s hair trying to soothe her. “I think if you encourage her to talk about her feelings it will help. I will be here to help in any way possible.” says Allie. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Bea says taking Allie’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “You have Franky and Bridget and they would do anything for you. In fact, I think it’s perfect timing for Franky to stay over tomorrow night.” says Allie. “I forgot about that...I am glad she is coming over. She is so good with Debbie, I think she can help her process her feelings, probably better than I can.” Bea says feeling such gratitude for having Franky in her life. Allie moved on the couch so her back was firmly pressed against the arm and encouraged Bea to face the same way so her head way laying on Allie’s chest. Allie strokes Bea’s hair and intermittently presses her lips to the crown of Bea’s head trying to provide as much comfort as she can. They sit like that for a long while. Bea occasionally expressed her thoughts and Allie just listened and acknowledged her feelings through a hug or kiss to Bea’s head. 

Bea’s cell phone rings, making both Bea and Allie jump. Bea looks at Allie conveying her dread. Bea answers the phone. “Hello?” asks Bea. “Mrs. Smith?” asks the woman on the phone. “This is.” answers Bea. “This is Dr. Patel from South Nassau Communities Hospital. I am afraid I have bad news about your husband.... Mr. Smith died from Second-impact syndrome or (SIS) a little while ago. SIS occurs when the brain swells rapidly, and catastrophically, after a person suffers a second concussion before symptoms from an earlier one have subsided. Last week Mr. Smith had received a concussion from an incident in jail and hadn’t it appears that he hadn’t fully recovered. I’m so sorry for your loss.” says Dr. Patel with sincerity in her voice. Bea doesn’t say anything for a minute. “Mrs. Smith? Are you there?” asks the woman. “Yes, I’m here.” says Bea having difficulty speaking.“Can you come to the hospital?” the woman asks. She looks at Allie and frowns. “I don’t know....can you hold on for a moment?” asks Bea. Allie can tell that Bea is having a lot of difficulty. “Should I go to the hospital tonight?” Bea asks not knowing what to do. “It’s up to you ultimately Bea, but I would recommend not going until tomorrow. You are clearly in shock and I think a little time would help.” Allie answers. Bea nods. “I won’t be able to come tonight. I will be there tomorrow morning.” Bea says to Dr. Patel. They discuss who Bea needs to talk to when she arrives at the hospital. After hanging up with Dr. Patel she is exhausted both physically and mentally. Allie suggests that she call Franky for Bea and explain what happened and to see if she could meet Bea at the hospital tomorrow morning. Franky lives closer to the hospital, it made more sense logistically and Allie would drive Bea. Allie talked to Franky for a while and Franky was insistent that she come to the house tonight and that she would be there in an hour. Allie tells Bea that Franky is heading to the house. “I need to lay down and rest my eyes for a little while.” Bea says wearily. “Ok, I will go and you can get some rest.” Allie stands up. “No. I want you to lay with me...if that is okay?” Bea says with eyes that are pleading. Bea stands up and reaches out for Allie’s hand. Allie takes it and Bea leads her to the bedroom. They lay on Bea’s bed, Allie spooning her, holding her tightly. Bea’s shoulders start shaking as Bea sobs. Allie whispers in Bea’s ear, “it’s going to be okay Bea. We are going to get through this. I will be with you every step of the way.” Bea can feel Allie’s warm breath on her neck. Bea is confused by the arousal that she is suddenly feeling. This is not the time and Bea tries to will her body to stop, but she has this need to be as close to Allie as possible and being held is not enough. Allie’s fingers are innocently rubbing Bea’s hand and even that is making Bea want to be touched further. The more she tries to ignore these feelings, the worse it gets. Bea turns over on to her side. Allie looks at Bea lovingly and moves a lock of Bea’s hair behind her ear. It’s such a small gesture but Bea responds to it by cupping Allie’s jaw line and gently swiping her cheek with her thumb. Bea pulls Allie closer and kisses Allie gently. Allie kisses her back just as gently. It’s chaste but it holds a lot of significance. Bea places her hand on Allie’s hip and tugs lightly to get Allie to come closer. Allie obliges but is wondering where this is going. She knows that Bea is feeling a lot of emotions and Allie doesn’t want to misread what Bea wants. Bea kisses Allie softly again but this time Allie feels the want behind it. Allie doesn’t want her desire for Bea to cloud her judgment. Bea is not in the right head space to pursue anything further. Besides the fact that Debbie is in the other room and Franky will be here shortly. Bea’s kisses become more aggressive and she bites Allie’s lower lip, pulling on it. Allie feels a jolt to her lower abdomen. “Fuck” she thinks. This is the most aroused she has been in a long time. “Bea...” Allie is trying to get her wits about her. Bea just hums questioningly while kissing Allie again. Allie pulls away slightly. “ Franky will be here soon...” Bea weaves her fingers through Allie’s hair and kisses Allie with more of an urgency. Allie pulls back again and Bea quickly withdraws. “You don’t want me...I knew I was unlovable.” Bea’s eyes well with tears. “Oh God Bea, quite the contrary, it is so easy to love you. I do want you. But, I don’t want you like this. You’re vulnerable and I want our first time to be about us, not as a reaction to Harry’s death.” Allie tries to explain. “But, I need you...” Bea says with a lump in her throat. “I am happy that you are capable of voicing what you want and need, but we can’t right now. I care about you too much.” Allie says worried that Bea will misinterpret her not wanting to take advantage of her vulnerability as not wanting to make love to her. “I understand... I’m sorry.” Bea says meekly. “Please don’t apologize, you’ve done nothing wrong beautiful.” Allie kisses Bea’s forehead. “Why don’t we get up and wait for Franky in the living room?” Allie suggests. Bea nods her head. She has a throbbing headache. Bea walks into the kitchen and opens a cabinet door. She grabs a bottle of ibuprofen, shakes out two pills, gets a beer out of the refrigerator and swallows the pills down. “Hey, are we okay?” Allie asks still worried that pushing Bea away might have been the wrong choice. “Of course.” Bea touches Allie’s face. “Thank you.” says Bea.

The doorbell rings and Allie answers the door. Franky rushes in and grabs a hold of Bea. She hugs her tightly. “How are you doing Red?” she asks with a grimace on her face. Franky worries so much about Bea. “I am in shock.” Bea smiles at her best friend. “Debbie?” Bea feels terrible for not paying more attention to Debbie’s needs. “She’s laying down. She is pretty upset. I’m going to check on her.” Bea says heading toward Debbie’s room leaving Franky and Allie alone. “How is she really holding up? Franky asks. “She is in shock and her head is all over the place. I think having you here will help.” Allie offers a smile. “Well, thank you for being here for her. It makes me more at ease knowing that you will look out for her.” Franky says sincerely. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Allie says. “You really do love her, don’t you?” Franky asks. “I do. I have never felt this way about anyone.” Allie says shyly. “Have you told her yet?” Franky asks with a raised eyebrow. “No. I don’t want to overwhelm her.” Allie says. “Nah, Red loves you too. I can tell. There’s no rush but you don’t have to not tell her because you think it will scare her away.” Franky puts her hand on Allie. “You are good for her.”

Bea opens the door to Debbie’s room slowly. She doesn’t want to wake her up but she can hear Debbie crying softly. Bea sits on the edge of her bed and rubs her back tenderly. Debbie reaches out for her mother and Bea climbs into bed with her. She holds Debbie tightly. “Hi baby.” Bea says lovingly. “Hi mama. Did I hear Franky’s voice?” Debbie rubs her eyes and yawns. “Yeah, she came early to check on us.... I have bad news Debbie..... You’re father passed away.” Bea braced herself for whatever Debbie’s reaction would be. Debbie was quiet. Bea continued rubbing her back. “I’m okay. I want to see Franky.” Debbie gets out of bed and heads into the living room toward Franky. “Hi Franky.” Debbie says hugging her. “Hey mini-Bea. How are you doing kiddo?” Franky kissed Debbie on the top of her head. “I’m okay, I guess.” Allie realizes that she should let them talk and turns to Bea who had just walked into the living room. “I’m going to go. If you need anything at all, call me no matter how late or early.” Allie hugs Bea. “Okay, thank you. I will call you tomorrow.” Bea kisses Allie’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 3 was heart wrenching. I won't give anything away as courtesy to those who haven't seen it yet. I miss Bea.


	33. I'm Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill by now....just read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SAS ****NFSW****

Debbie slept in Bea’s bed and although they were both exhausted, sleep was hard to come by. Between the bad dreams and being consumed with thoughts of what is going to happen next, Bea maybe got a few hours of solid sleep. The light peering in through the window pierces Bea’s eyelids and she gets out of bed leaving Debbie still asleep. Bea goes into the kitchen intending to make breakfast, but Franky was already in there drinking coffee and looking at her phone. “Morning Red, did you get any sleep last night?” Franky asked while preparing Bea a cup of coffee. “I didn’t sleep much. I couldn’t turned my brain off. I just can’t believe he’s dead.” Bea said and shakes her head. “I’m free Franky. Am I a bad person for feeling relief? I was married to him for 17 years.” Bea looked at Franky. If anyone would tell her the truth it would be her. “Nah Red. I would be more worried if you were heartbroken that he died. He was a miserable human being. He needed to be put down. I know I won’t lose a minute of sleep over his death.” Franky says honestly. Bea could only nod in response. “It’s beautiful outside, let’s go sit outside while we drink our coffee.” Franky suggests. Bea follows Franky and they walk outside and sit on the steps in front of the house. “Thank you Franky…for everything. I don’t know what you get out of our friendship but I am so thankful to have you in my life.” Bea says putting her hand on Franky’s arm. Franky’s eyes well with unshed tears. “You don’t get it Red, do you? You gave me a family for the first time in my life. You and Debbie. You make me a stronger person. I know that you think you were weak for staying with Harry but you’re wrong. You tried to do what you thought was right by Debbie. You give people strength through the love you seem so abundantly full of. I am thankful you are in my life.” Franky says wiping away the tears that have fallen. “Because of you, I was able to not sabotage the possibility of being in a wonderful relationship with a woman I love. I hope one day you can see how special you are. I know Allie sees it.” Franky sniffles. It’s not often that anyone gets to see this side of Franky. She and Bridget are the only ones who have seen the raw, vulnerable woman who would lay her life down for the people she loves. “Now you’ve got me crying.” Bea says laughing and softly pushes Franky. “Okay so I think we should go grab some breakfast and then go to the hospital and get whatever the fuck they need from you, done and over with. We should go celebrate after. We can pick your girlfriend up and go get wasted. What do you think Red?” Franky smiles widely. Bea doesn’t react to Franky referring Allie as her girlfriend and of course Franky notices and grins. “Franky, don’t forget Debbie. She’s not going to want to celebrate. Let’s see what she wants to do after we go to the hospital. Oh fuck….I need to call Harry’s family. That’s going to be delightful.” Bea says sarcastically, while rubbing her temples. “Didn’t think about that. What about a funeral? Not that the bastard deserves one. Let his family deal with that shit.” Franky says irritably. “I am going to get the phone call out of the way and then call Allie and see if she is still planning on going with us. We can all have breakfast together.” says Bea. Thinking about Allie puts a smile on Bea’s face and of course Franky notices. “So what’s going on with blondie?” Bea is astonished how she could feel bad one minute and the mere thought or mention of Allie makes her smile. “Things are good. I really like her Franky.” Bea says shyly. “Just like, Red?” Franky gave her signature smirk. “What do you mean?” Bea feigns ignorance. “Right, you know what I mean. She is crazy about you. Have you uh…” Franky makes a crude gesture. “Frankyyyy. That’s none of your business.” Bea’s face is the color of her hair now. “Now that asshat is out of the picture, you don’t have to wait any longer to have some lesbo sex.” Franky grins wickedly. “No, we haven’t. Allie has been so respectful and restrained. When I am with her I want to take that step but when I am not and I start thinking about how scared I am. It’s not that she’s a woman. I don’t see her that way. I see her as a beautiful person. It’s sex in general. I am afraid of allowing myself to be that vulnerable. I am afraid that I will panic and flip out because I associate sex with something painful.” says Bea. “I get it Bea. I don’t think Allie will let the experience be scary for you. She loves you and wants to make you feel good. Plus, it will make you feel closer than you already do.” Franky says and then realizes what she just said. “She loves me?” Bea asked with surprise. “Oops...I shouldn’t have said that. Please don’t tell her I told you. Ugh! I am such a dumbass.” Franky is annoyed with herself. It wasn’t her place to tell Bea and she knows she fucked up. “She told you that?” Bea asks. “Yeah. I am sorry. That should have come from her.” says Franky. Bea can’t help but smile. The front door opens and Debbie comes out and sits on the steps with them. “I’m hungry. Feed me.” Debbie states matter-of-fact. “Okay baby, lets get ready and we can go get breakfast. I just need to make a couple of calls.” Bea says while standing up. Bea knows that Debbie is doing okay considering the circumstances if she is focused on food. Bea goes back into the house while Franky and Debbie remain sitting on the steps. “How are you doing?” asks Franky as she puts her arm around her. “I’m okay.” says Debbie. “If you ever need to talk about it, I am always here for you. I hope you know that.” Franky says softly. “I know Franky. Thank you.” Debbie leans her head on Franky’s shoulders. “Alright, let’s get dressed and feed you. You are insufferable when you are hungry.” Franky laughs.

Bea’s phone call doesn’t go very well but she didn’t expect it would. Harry’s family is very angry that Bea took Debbie and left. They want to take care of the funeral and told Bea not to bother coming. Bea reminds them that Debbie will probably want to go and that they shouldn’t punish her because of how they feel toward Bea. They agreed to give Bea the details once everything is arranged. Bea feels relieved that she didn’t have to organize the funeral. She so desperately wants to move on as if her life with Harry is just a dream. The only good thing about being with Harry is having her beautiful daughter. Bea could not imagine her life without Debbie. Bea calls Allie next and to see if she is still going to go with her to the hospital and if she wants to have breakfast with her, Franky and Debbie. Allie says that she will join them for breakfast and then go with them to the hospital.

After breakfast, they drive to the hospital. Bea signs the necessary paperwork and is told that she will receive the death certificate in a week or so. Bea is relieved to be done with the hospital. When she gets the death certificate, she will have to deal with the insurance company. Bea will try and get the bank to release the funds in Harry’s bank account but she assumes she will need the death certificate as well. She knows that she wants to sell the house, there are so many bad memories associated with it and she wants to leave the past behind her. Maybe she can buy something in the Hamptons, although it may be too expensive even for something modest. She still needs to contact the owner of the house they are renting to see how long she and Debbie can stay. There is a lot to do and Bea is starts to feel overwhelmed. But, she has endured hell and this would be nothing like the last 17 years with Harry. Bea wonders if Harry has a will. Maybe there is a safe deposit box at the bank with paperwork. All the “what ifs” are exhausting her brain. 

“What do you want to do today baby? Is there something you need me to do?” Bea asks Debbie. “As far as what I need...I don’t know. I guess something to take my mind off things for now.” Debbie answers. “Franky will you take me for a driving lesson?” Debbie asks with a pleading look. Franky laughs. “If it’s okay with Red, then sure I will take you and then if you want we can go to the planetarium. I heard you planned a trip there and it didn’t work out.” Franky smiles. “Oh, that would be great! I am so excited I can hardly stand it.” Debbie says with delight. “That would be good Franky. Thank you for taking her. I think I am going to take a nap and see if I can get some rest. I am dragging and emotionally spent,” says Bea as she grabs Allie’s hand lightly. Allie gets butterflies in her stomach. 

Franky drops Allie and Bea off at the house. “Can I get you something? I am thinking about having a beer.” Bea asks as she walks into the kitchen. Allie is suddenly nervous. What did that hand squeeze mean? They have nothing in the way of them being together now and Allie is both excited and nervous at the same time. “Sure. A beer sounds good.” Allie says. Bea walks back to the living room and hands Allie a beer. She feels more nervous than usual with Allie. Maybe it’s because of what Franky told her. Does she really love me? Bea wonders. Everything Allie does and says indicate that she does love her. Sitting on the couch next to Allie she smiles sheepishly. Allie is trying to read Bea’s face and body language and she knows what Bea is thinking. “So.” Allie says with a smirk. “So.” Bea says mirroring the same smirk. “Are you really going to take a nap?” Allie asks innocently. “Have a better suggestion.” Bea asks feeling nervous but excited at the same time. “Yes.” Allie says seriously. “What do you want to do?” Bea asks as a blush slowly creeps up her face. Allie sees it and her body gets very warm. “Kiss you.” Allie says looking into Bea’s eyes. Bea feels a flutter between her legs. Every nerve in her body feels like it has been electrified. She swallows hard. “So come here.” Bea rasps. Her voice drives Allie crazy. It’s the hottest thing she’s ever heard. Allie moves closer to Bea. Both of them are very nervous. Bea licks her lips unconsciously and waits in anticipation for Allie to kiss her. It feels like it is the first time they have kissed. There is something different now that there are no barriers any longer. Allie leans in so close to Bea’s lips without actually touching them wanting to savor the moment. Allie’s lips lightly brush against Bea’s and she hears a sharp intake of breath. Pressing her lips gently to Bea’s she lets out a soft moan. This ignites a fire in Bea’s belly and she puts her hand on the back of Allie’s neck. Bea draws her closer and she kisses Allie with a passion she has never experienced before. Allie cups Bea’s cheek and pulls Bea into a less gentle kiss. Licking Bea’s bottom lip, sucking and biting on it eliciting another moan from Bea only not so quiet. Bea’s fingers weave into Allie’s soft hair and she squeezes just enough for Allie to feel the meaning behind it. Bea’s lips part and Allie takes it as permission for her tongue to enter and she caresses Bea’s tongue lightly. After kissing like that for a while, Allie pulls back a little. “Are you okay?” Allie asks, searching Bea’s eyes to make sure that Bea wasn’t overwhelmed. What she sees are almost black eyes filled with desire looking into hers. “Yes, very much so.” Bea answers, her voice even raspier than usual. That’s all it takes for Allie to kiss Bea again. Allie’s fingers trail Bea’s neck and her mouth soon follows. She licks, nips and sucks up one side and down the other side of Bea’s throat. Bea’s breathing is erratic and it is making Allie wet just listening to her. She plants kisses along Bea’s jaw line and nips at her chin. Bea steals a kiss and moves her head so that she can take Allie’s ear lobe in her mouth. She sucks on it and pulls, letting it go and then outlines the outer part of Allie’s ear with her tongue. Allie lets out a small moan, her heart is pounding. “Do you want to move to my room?” Bea asks. Allie pulls away slowly and looks at Bea. “Are you sure?” Bea bites her bottom lip and nods her head. They both stand up and Bea takes Allie’s hand and leads her to the bedroom, closing the door behind them. She is both excited and scared at the same time. Allie can see this in Bea’s eyes. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to beautiful girl. You are in total control of what happens.” Allie says smiling warmly. “I will let you know if it becomes too much.” Bea rasps. Allie nods her head and wraps her arms around Bea’s waist. Allie kisses her slowly. There is no rush, they have plenty of time to get to know each other intimately. Allie pulls her face away and looks lovingly at Bea. “You are so beautiful, Bea.” Allie says brushing the hair from Bea’s face. Bea looks down but Allie lifts her chin up and gets her to look her in the eye. “You are beautiful, Bea.” Bea’s eyes well up. Allie hugs her tightly and whispers, “being with you here, like this is such a privilege.” Allie pulls back and kisses the tears that have fallen down Bea’s face. She kisses Bea with such tenderness that it keeps Bea’s tears flowing. Bea’s fingers touch Allie’s lips, caressing them. Allie parts her lips and takes one of Bea’s fingers into her mouth and rubs her tongue along the pad of her finger all along looking right into Bea’s eyes. She gasps and Allie can see her pupils dilate. Bea removes her finger and grabs Allie by the back of her neck and crashes their lips together. Allie feels her inner walls contract increasing the wetness between her legs. She has never been so aroused. She didn’t expect to see this side of Bea and she loved it. Bea pulls Allie’s hips against her own and Allie responds by putting her leg between Bea’s. Bea gasps at the pressure of Allie’s thigh against her core. Bea slides her hands under Allie’s shirt and up her back. Her nails lightly scratching Allie’s skin. Allie takes in a deep breath. “Can I take this off?” Allie gestures to her own shirt. Bea bites her lower lip and nods. Bea helps Allie take off her shirt and stands back a little, looking at Allie’s beautiful torso. Her eyes meet Allie’s with a hunger in them. Bea kisses Allie’s shoulder and up her neck, nipping at her pulse point. She touches every inch of skin on Allie’s back leaving trails of goosebumps. Allie pulls her into another kiss and their tongues fight for dominance. “Can I take this off?” tugging lightly on the hem of Bea’s shirt. For a second Allie thought she saw fear in Bea’s eyes. “You don’t have to Bea. We can stop whenever you want.” Allie says while rubbing up and down Bea’s arms. “It’s okay. I’m okay Allie.” Bea says and smiles. She actually does feel okay. She wants Allie. She wants to make love to her. Bea raises her arms and Allie pulls her shirt off and tosses it to the side. Stepping behind Bea, she puts her arms around her waist. She kisses the soft skin on Bea’s shoulders and lightly caresses her back. Allie moves her lips from Bea’s shoulders down to the middle of her back and licks back up to the back of her neck. Bea sighs. Allie moves in front of Bea taking her hand and kisses the palm and up her arm, across her clavicle to her other arm and down to the palm of Bea’s hand. Bea wants to touch Allie’s breast but hesitates mid-air. “You can touch anywhere you want Bea. I am all yours.” Allie says softly. Bea is still too shy to actually touch Allie’s breast so Allie takes Bea’s hand and slowly places it on her bra clad breast. Bea gently rubs against the fabric with her hand. She can feel Allie’s nipple become erect and it arouses her further knowing that she was effecting Allie like this. Allie moans at the touch. Bea caresses the other breast with her other hand and feels that nipple become erect as well. Bea looks into Allie’s eyes and smiles. “Can I take your bra off?” Bea asks. Allie nods while smiling. Bea unhooks Allie’s bra and pulls the straps down, it falls to the floor. Bea can’t believe how beautiful Allie’s breasts are. She drags her fingers over Allie’s right breast, grazing her nipple. Allie bites her lower lip. With the pad of Bea’s finger she swipes the top of the bud and Allie moans. Bea takes Allie’s nipple into her mouth, softly sucking and using her tongue to caress around the sides of it. Allie gently holds Bea’s head in place and lets out a moan. “Ohhhh, Bea.” She moves to the other nipple and does the same. While massaging Allie’s breasts, Bea kisses her passionately. Allie breaks their kiss, “can I touch your breasts?” Bea puts her arms behind her back, unhooks her bra and removes it. Allie’s eyes are wide open. Where did this confident Bea come from? Allie couldn’t get enough of it. Allie slowly touched Bea’s breasts while looking into her eyes, making sure she was okay. Allie saw the enjoyment of being touched in Bea’s eyes. She lowered her head and kissed between Bea’s breasts and with her tongue circled around Bea’s nipple and over her areola. Bea gasped. Allie took the swollen nub and gently tugged and sucked making it stand erect and getting another moan from Bea. She does the same to the other nipple. Bea pulls Allie’s face back up to hers and gives her a searing kiss. Allie is so light headed from arousal. “Can we lay down?” Allie asks nodding in the direction of the bed. “Please.” They both get on the bed and Allie makes sure that she doesn’t lay on top of Bea fearing that she will feel less like she’s in control. But, Bea isn’t having it. She pulls Allie by her belt loops and essentially drags Allie on top of her. Allie’s leg falls between Bea’s. They both moan at the contact. Bea slowly grinds herself against Allie’s leg. “God, you feel so good, Bea.” Allie moans. They kiss with urgency pulling at each other to get as close as possible. Allie assaults Bea’s breast with her lips and tongue, moving over to the other one and doing the same. She moves her kisses down to Bea’s stomach. Licking a circle around her belly button and kissing across her abs. Bea has her fingers in Allie’s hair, moaning. Allie moves her hand to the button of Bea’s jeans and Bea stiffens. Allie pulls her hand away immediately. “I’m sorry, I should have asked first.” Allie says looking to see if Bea is okay. “It’s okay. I just… I’m scared it will hurt. I’m sorry” Bea says with tears in her eyes. Allie moves off of Bea’s body but is still very close to her. “No need to apologize beautiful. It’s perfectly fine if that area is off limits but I need you to know that I would never hurt you Bea. This is your body. My being able to touch you is a privilege not a right. I take that very seriously.” Allie says tenderly. “I know you wouldn’t Allie. It was a knee-jerk reaction. I want you to touch me but I need to take my pants off myself…okay?” Bea says making sure Allie understands. “Of course beautiful. As long as you know that I am not pushing you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Allie searches Bea’s face. Bea nods and smiles. Taking off her pants, leaving her underwear on Bea encourages Allie to do the same. Allie removes her pants and then lies next to Bea. They are facing one another. Allie lightly touches Bea’s shoulder down the side of her body to her hip bone and back up to her shoulder. Bea moves in closer to Allie and kisses her gently at first and then with more urgency. She pulls at Allie’s hips to get her to lay on top of her again. Allie positions herself so that they’re breast to breast. Nipples touching, Allie slides back and forth over Bea’s body causing a wonderful friction that makes them both moan. Allie moves over slightly and places her hand close to Bea’s core. Checking for any resistance from Bea, Allie ghosts her hand over Bea’s underwear. Bea is shaking but Allie can tell that it isn’t from fear but from anticipation. Allie’s hand lays on the fabric and cups Bea’s core. Allie moans because Bea’s underwear is drenched. She rubs Bea’s clit through the fabric. Bea moans loudly and brings Allie back up to kiss her. Bea’s tongue glides against Allie’s in approval. “Can I take them off?” Allie asks while tugging lightly on her underwear. Bea kisses Allie passionately effectively giving her permission. Bea lifts her legs and Allie pulls down and removes them. Allie kisses her way back down Bea’s chest and stomach and slides down the bed kissing her hips, outer thighs and calves. When Allie works her way back up she kisses Bea’s inner thighs stopping at her core. “Can I?” Allie asks. Bea nods in reply. Leaning on her elbow, Allie runs her fingers along Bea’s core. She can feel the moisture hidden by her lips and parts them. Dipping her finger in gently, she rubs Bea’s juices up and down her inner lips. “Bea, you’re so wet….” “Is that bad?” Bea asks suddenly embarrassed. Allie shakes her head. “God no, it’s very very good.” Allie rubs Bea’s clit lightly and Bea gasps. God that feels so fucking good, thinks Bea. Allie drags her finger down leisurely to Bea’s entrance. Bea immediately holds Allie’s hand preventing her from entering her. Allie looks up and smiles warmly moving her fingers away. Allie continues to enjoy familiarizing herself with Bea’s reactions to the different areas that Allie touches. Bea is getting worked up and her hips are chasing Allie’s touches. Allie smiles to herself. Ok, I got the hint, Allie chuckles to herself. She positions herself between Bea’s legs and kisses Bea’s inner thighs. Dragging her tongue across Bea’s clit, Allie tastes Bea for the first time and it’s wonderful. She circles her clit over and over. At first it is light and then more firmly. Bea moans and unconsciously moves her core closer to Allie’s mouth. Allie licks up and down her slit, landing back on Bea’s clit. She puts her lips over the hardened bud and creates a little suction. Her tongue flicks underneath her clit. Bea is moaning loudly. Bea’s hands are in Allie’s hair pushing herself against Allie’s mouth. Allie flattens her tongue and licks up and down Bea’s slit, intermittently hitting her clit. Bea’s breathing hard and moaning. Allie goes back to sucking and flicking her swollen bud. Bea’s legs are shaking and she is moaning loudly, “oh my god, Allie.” She could tell Bea was getting close, her juices were flowing down her leg. Allie watched as Bea’s eyes slammed shut letting out a guttural sound as her body stiffened. Allie could feel the contractions against her chin. Allie didn’t stop her relentless licking until she knew Bea had ridden out the last wave of pleasure. Allie crawled back up Bea’s body and saw that Bea was crying. Allie held her tight and kissed her face lightly, knowing that Bea had so much to let out. Allie stroked Bea’s hair and when she calmed down, Allie gently kissed Bea’s lips. “Oh my God Allie, that was mind blowing.” Bea says feeling exhausted from the release. She grabs Allie’s face and kissed her with so much love and tenderness. They clung to each other, wanting to be as close as possible. Bea’s heart rate had returned to normal and she was playing with Allie’s hair. “That was amazing. Thank you.” Bea says smiling to herself. Allie smiles widely. “You don’t need to thank me. I have wanted to make love to you for weeks.” says Allie. Bea looks at Allie with pure adoration and kisses her. The kiss grows hungrier and Bea moves her body closer to Allie. Her hand tugs on Allie’s underwear. “Don’t feel like you have to. I can wait until you are ready.” Allie says honestly. “I am ready…and I want to…” Bea smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have made it another week without getting fired. I don't want to be cocky but I am pretty good at hiding my naughty ways. She says as her boss is standing behind her.


	34. Allie's Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of Allie and Bea making love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the wonderful feedback. Please don't be sick of hearing this but I am thankful that you are still enjoying the story and are sticking with me. I get such pleasure out of writing it and when I read how I have succeeded in making you want to read more...it really makes me feel good.

Bea sits up on her knees and slides her fingers into the waistband of Allie’s underwear. She slowly pulls them down and Allie lifts her legs to help remove the unwanted garment. Bea lays back down on her side, they are now facing one another. Bea’s confidence wanes and is feeling nervous. Allie can see the shift in Bea’s expression. “Seriously Bea, you don’t have to do anything. I just love being close to you.” Allie says while stroking Bea’s cheek. “I just…I don’t know what to do….” Bea says nervously. “Do what you want to do. Believe me anything you do will feel good. I love when you touch me.” Allie smiles. Bea kisses her slowly and softly. She loves how patient Allie is with her and she wants to convey that through her kiss and touch. As their kiss deepens, Bea tangles her fingers into Allie’s hair and draws her even closer. She places her top leg in between Allie’s and she can feel how wet Allie is on her own thigh. She feels a strong pull in her abdomen and a warmth spreading into her core. Allie groans at the contact. Her hand caresses up and down Allie’s back slowly, enjoying the feel of her soft skin. Kissing Allie’s neck, Bea can smell her perfume and she hums. Allie smells so fucking good. Bea nips at Allie’s throat causing her to move her head back, giving Bea more access to her neck. “Ohhhh, Bea…. I love when you kiss me there.” Allie purrs. Bea sucks gently on the skin above Allie’s pulse point, leaving a slight mark. Bea’s hand wanders down to Allie’s lower back pulling her even closer. Outlining Allie’s lips with the tip of her tongue then Bea kisses her hard while gripping Allie’s backside. Allie can feel the passion in Bea’s kisses and she can feel her own juices trickle down her thigh. Allie feels like she is on fire. Bea gently pushes Allie so that she is no longer on her side but now lying flat on the bed. Bea’s hand drags slowly across Allie’s chest and down to her left breast. She moves circles around Allie’s areola with her finger and with her thumb grazes the top of her nipple. Allie gasps, her hips involuntarily moving. Bea tugs lightly on it and Allie moans. Bea enjoys how Allie responds and rolls the swollen bud around with her fingers. Leaning over Allie’s torso, she takes the nipple into her mouth. Circling the nub with her tongue, Bea pulls gently with her teeth. Allie hums loudly. ‘My God, how is it Bea has never done this before?’ Allie wonders. Bea moves to the other breast and does the same. With each moan Allie rewards her, Bea’s confidence grows. She leisurely caresses under Allie’s breasts, across her rib cage and down to her stomach. She kisses and licks Allie’s skin. Allie brings Bea’s face up to give her a searing kiss. Allie’s tongue is less gentle as she expresses the need for her. Bea moans, climbing on top of her. Allie’s hips involuntarily move against Bea’s as she grabs and kneads her ass. The gentleness fades and the friction of their breasts and pelvises is driving them both wild. Their kisses become harder and wetter. Allie is so worked up she rolls Bea over, her hand falling between Bea’s legs and rubs her clit in circles causing Bea to moan loudly. Bea places her hand on top of Allie’s so she’s moving along with Allie’s in rhythm against her core. Bea is dizzy with arousal and she knows she is going to cum soon. She pulls her mouth from Allie’s, trying to maintain eye contact as Bea’s orgasm tore through her body. “Oh my God, Alllliiieee.” Bea yelled. It seemed like it lasted forever and Bea’s mouth found Allie’s again. She kisses her with so much passion, Allie thought she would cum just from the kiss alone. Before Bea’s body even settles down. She rolls over on to Allie’s and with her tongue traces down Allie’s stomach to her core. Whatever nervousness she felt was completely gone. Her body took over and she wanted Allie to feel what she just felt. Once Bea’s mouth finds what she is craving, she settles in. She licks Allie’s clit tentatively, the taste of Allie’s juices was new, but she likes it. Allie moans at the contact. Bea licks from Allie’s clit to her entrance and back up again. “Yessss.” Allie moans. Bea gently moves her fingers through Allie’s lips. She is so wet and Bea knows that she is the cause of it and it delights her. “Do you mind using your fingers at the same time?” Allie asks between pants. Bea raises her head and smiled lovingly at Allie. “Whatever you want baby.” Bea rasps. Allie thought her body would explode at how hoarse and throaty Bea’s voice has become. Bea inserts a finger into Allie’s entrance slowly, Allie is so wet that her finger glides in and out without any resistance. “More, please.” Allie begs. Bea inserts a second finger, licking Allie’s clit at the same time. Allie’s hand moves to Bea’s head, weaving her fingers through her hair. Her legs are quivering. “Fuck Bea, that feels so good.” Allie mutters almost incoherently. “Oh my God, faster please.” Bea moves her fingers in and out faster all the while sucking and licking Allie’s clit. “I’m so close…so close….” Allie arches her back and her legs stiffen as she cries out Bea’s name. Bea continues to slide in and out, feeling a new flow of Allie’s juices covering her hand. Allie places her hand gently on Bea’s indicating that she can’t take any more. Allie pulls Bea up on top of her and kisses Bea like she has never kissed her before. When Bea pulls back she sees tears slide down Allie’s cheek, she is looking at Bea with so much love. Bea kisses Allie’s eyelids, the corner of her eyes and her nose. They lay there silently for a while, Bea on top of Allie, hearts beating together. “That was amazing Bea. I can’t believe you’ve never done that before.” Allie says with amazement. Bea giggles. “I really don’t know what’s come over me. I just needed you to feel as good as you made me feel.” Bea says. “Then I guess I made you really fucking good.” Allie laughs. “Bea?” Allie asks quietly. “Yes baby?” Bea says sweetly. “How are you feeling…about what we just did? Are you okay?” Allie asks with a little insecurity. “I feel great. I thought I would be so scared but being with you washes away all doubt and insecurity. I felt loved through your every touch.” Bea smiles, lazily tracing Allie’s belly button. “You are loved….I do love you.” Allie confesses uneasily. What if Bea doesn’t love her back? “You do?” Bea asks sitting up looking straight into Allie’s eyes. Allie’s eyes were filled with love and sincerity. “Allie…I love you too. I have for a while. At first I thought it was just because you have been so kind to me but I now know it is because I love YOU.” Bea’s eyes welled up. Allie wants to say more but the words are stuck in her throat. She lets Bea know how she feels through a soft and loving kiss. “So, does this mean you are my girlfriend now?” Allie giggles. “I want to be your everything Allie.” Bea says seriously. “You my everything. I have known that I loved you for weeks. My mother knows it, my best friend knows it and Franky of course knows it. Can’t hide anything from her,” Allie laughs. Bea laughs with her. Franky may be the wisest person she’s ever known. “To answer your question, yes if you want me…I will be your girlfriend.” Bea smiles shyly and then kisses Allie with so much affection. Allie sighs and holds Bea closer to her chest. “Did you enjoy how I touched you?” Bea asks insecurely. “Oh my God, yes. No one has ever touched me like that. You’re instincts of how and where to touch were amazing. What made it even more special for me is that I felt honored that you wanted to touch me like that.” Allie says marveling at how Bea embraced her sexual side and held nothing back. “I expected you to be timid and shy. There was a moment but it was so fleeting and then you let yourself go and take what you wanted. It was wonderful.” Allie says emphatically. “I really don’t know what came over me other than I wanted to make you feel good more than anything else.” Bea says feeling proud of herself. “You never have to ask to touch me, I always want you to. I am giving you all of me. If you only knew how hard it was to restrain myself lately.” Bea’s turned red. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out Bea. I hope one day you will truly believe that.” Allie says looking directly into Bea’s eyes. “I am starting to believe that you believe it. It’s a hard thing to believe in general because I always hear Harry tell me that I am ugly and worthless.” Bea frowns. “He said that because he feels ugly and worthless and he projected that on to you.” Allie says with disgust. Bea moves up Allie’s body and straddles her. She grabs Allie by the cheeks and kisses her hard. “I never want this moment to end with you. It’s been perfect.” Bea says tenderly. Allie slides her hands along Bea’s back and down her sides, resting them on to the curve of her backside. Bea sighs, she feels aroused again and moves her hips on Allie’s lap. Allie raises an eyebrow while smirking. “Well hello again.” Bea’s face turns red. “Well, hello again.” Bea kisses her more firmly and licks Allie’s bottom lip, asking for permission to slip her tongue in her mouth. Allie obliges and they kiss like that for a while until they both get hungrier for more. Bea slides down Allie’s body, making sure that every moment of contact is felt by Allie, which earns her a moan. Bea takes Allie’s nipple in her mouth and pushes it down with her tongue and rubs the nub around in a small circle. Allie moans loudly. Bea takes the other nipple and with her teeth grazes the sides and tugs not so gently. Allie moans even louder and tries to embrace Bea but Bea holds Allie’s arms down. Bea slides further down the length of Allie’s body until her mouth is lined up with Allie’s core. Allie is already wet and the juices glisten on her lips. Bea licks both sides of her core. She breathes a warm breath on Allie’s center and elicits yet another moan. Allie tries to move her arms so that she can touch Bea but she wasn’t having it. Bea continued to hold Allie down while she licks and pulls on Allie’s outer lips. Moving her tongue along Allie’s slit her tongue reaches her entrance. Bea stiffens her tongue and proceeds to push her tongue in and out of Allie’s hole. Allie is writhing against Bea’s face. “That feels so fucking good.” Allie murmurs. Bea continues fucking Allie with her tongue while holding Allie’s arms down. She finds herself getting wetter knowing the effect this is having on Allie. She removes her tongue only to flick Allie’s clit for a while and then goes back to sliding her tongue in and out of Allie’s hole. Allie’s breathing becomes erratic and she desperately wants to touch Bea. Removing one hand off of Allie’s arm Bea finds her hole and enters a finger. Allie cries out, taking the opportunity to put her fingers through Bea’s red curls. Bea moves in and out deliciously slowly and then adds another finger. Sucking on Allie’s clit, she adds a third filling Allie up. Allie tried to say something but it was too incoherent. She moaned over and over. Bea picked up the pace with her fingers and let go of Allie’s other arm, reaching for Allie’s nipple and twisted and squeezed it intermittently. Bea knew Allie was going to cum soon. She could hear the contractions building as the juices ran down Bea’s fingers. “Please don’t stop….just like that…” Allie muttered, begging for release. Bea wasn’t going to stop for anything. She was amazed at how much pleasure she was getting from making Allie feel so good. It’s almost better than when she is being touched. Allie’s moans became louder and more erratic and her orgasm erupted from the tips of her toes to the hair follicles in her head. Her whole body is spasming and her legs shook. Bea smiled to herself. Curling her fingers deep inside Allie she must have found a sweet spot because Allie just about screamed Bea’s name when she touched it. The orgasm lasted for so long and eventually Allie had to stop Bea from working her core any longer. Allie gently pushed Bea’s mouth away from her clit and Bea gently removed her fingers. Allie’s body was still twitching and she was breathing hard. She pulled Bea up to her and kissed her passionately. Kissing Bea all over her face with soft quick pecks. “How did you know how to do that?” Allie is blown away. “Do what?” Bea asked seriously. “You hit my G-Spot Bea. It was fucking amazing!” Allie’s head was spinning. “You’re what?” Bea asked dumbfounded. Allie giggled. Let me calm down and I will explain. Bea laid on Allie, her head tucked into the crook of Allie’s neck. There is a self-satisfied smile on her face. Allie calmed down sufficiently in a few minutes. “The G-Spot is believed to be mythical by some but having felt it and found it on others…it is so real. It’s the spot on the other side of your clit that if you get your fingers to touch just right, the pleasure is intensified dramatically. It feels unbelievable and your orgasm is so much more intense. If and when you are ready for penetration I will find yours…if it’s the last thing I do.” Allie laughs. Bea laughs with her but looks hesitant. “If you never want to be penetrated Bea, that’s alright too. Don’t focus on that.” Allie knows Bea is concerned. Bea doesn’t reply, she just strokes Allie’s side. “We should probably get dressed. Debbie and Franky should be back soon.” Bea rasps. Allie agrees but wonders if Bea is suddenly uncomfortable with the previous topic. “Is it okay if I shower? I don’t want Franky to smell you on me. She will tease us for days.” Allie smirks. Bea laughs. “You think it will be only for days? Franky won’t let it go ever.”

Allie gets out of bed and Bea gets her a towel. “You know, we can conserve water if we shower together.” Allie says with a wink and a grin. Bea suddenly becomes shy. “Or not.” Allie doesn’t want to make Bea uncomfortable. “Okay.” Says Bea. Allie’s smile lights up the room. Taking Allie’s hand, she leads her to the shower. When the temperature is acceptable they both get in. Water is cascading down both of their bodies. Allie reaches for the shampoo and pours some into her hand. She turns Bea around so she is facing the wall. Allie gently massages the shampoo into Bea’s hair. Bea moans. She is usually the one to wash other people’s hair and it feels wonderful. After rinsing the shampoo out of Bea’s hair Allie applies the conditioner. Bea washed Allie’s hair, sensually and slowly. Allie hums with enjoyment. Bea applies the conditioner and they step back towards the wall away from the water. Allie gently pins Bea’s arms to the wall and slowly kisses her. Bea feels the arousal building in her groin. Allie pulls Bea into a wet soapy embrace. They kiss passionately letting their hands glide over each other’s skin. Allie’s hand moves down Bea’s side and she cups Bea’s core. She slides her middle finger between Bea’s folds. With her finger she rubs circles around Bea’s clit while kissing her softly but with a need that makes herself wet. Bea is humming and her breathing quickens. She can feel her arousal build and the pull in her abdomen is getting stronger. Allie changes from circling Bea’s clit to stroking it up and down and then side to side. Bea lets a soft moan escape her lips. She holds on to Allie’s lower back for support, feeling her knees growing weak. Allie holds her up with one arm and continues to rub Bea’s clit. Bea spreads her legs more to give Allie more access. Bea realizes that she wants Allie to insert her fingers inside her core and slowly guides them to her entrance. Allie pulls her head back and looks for understanding in Bea’s eyes. Bea just nods confirming what she is asking for. Allie kisses Bea and then slowly inserts one finger inside her. She doesn’t move it, she just lets Bea get used to the felling of the fullness inside her. Bea kisses Allie with more urgency and Allie takes that as a sign that she is ok. Allie slowly moves her finger in and out and Bea gasps. Allie looks at Bea to check that she isn’t hurting her. Bea grabs the back of Allie’s neck and kisses her fiercely. “More.” Bea utters with that sexy rasp that drips with desire. Allie enters a second finger slowly, waits until Bea is comfortable and moves in and out slowly, Bea bends her knee and raises her leg, curling it around Allie’s hip. Allie holds her tightly with one arm and continues to move in and out of her core with her other hand. Bea moans. Allie moves faster and bites Bea’s neck and then licks the same spot. Bea moans louder. Bea’s inner muscles hold on to Allie’s fingers and it increases the intensity of the delicious feeling in her core. Bea is now moaning continuously and Allie can feel her walls start to contract. She quickens the pace until Bea cums yelling Allie’s name over the sound of the running water. Bea bites Allie’s shoulder leaving a mark. Allie is LOVING it. Bea is grinding her hips against Allie’s hand trying to make the orgasm last longer but eventually relaxes. Allie looks at Bea and her face is flushed and Allie has never seen anything so beautiful. Bea kisses Allie with a wet, firm and passionate kiss that takes Allie’s breath away. “Wow.” Is all Bea can manage to say. She moves her leg back down to the floor and hugs Allie tightly, resting her head in the crook of Allie’s neck. “I love you beautiful girl.” Allie whispers in Bea’s ear and increased the intensity of her hug. “I love you too baby.” Bea’s bright brown eyes look into the most loving blue eyes filled with so much affection it makes Bea’s heart swell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't anticipate that episode 4 will be less gut-wrenching but I think that there will be more anger involved. Fucking Ferguson is getting more and more comfortable in embracing her psychopathy. I love Pamela Rabe's acting and think the character is beautifully written but I don't think she should survive for another season. Just my opinion.


	35. Overnight Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please just read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allie spends the night.

Allie and Bea got dressed. Franky and Debbie should be home soon. “I am so hungry. Do you want something to tide us over until the girls get back?” Bea asks while looking in the refrigerator. Allie comes up behind her and puts her hands on Bea’s waist. “Well, we worked up an appetite.” says Allie. Bea turns around and smirks. “Why, yes we did.” Allie kisses Bea softly and places her hands on Bea’s hips. They are both smiling at each other as if they have a secret that only they know about. Allie kisses Bea softly and sighs. “I could kiss you all day.” Allie says with a sensuality that brings butterflies to Bea’s stomach. “I would like that but we will have to wait.” Bea says and then gets shy. Allie notices. “What?” Allie asks curiously. “Will you stay over tonight?” Franky can sleep with Debbie. “Why are you shy about asking me that? I would love to hold you all night.” Allie says. “I don’t want to appear needy.” Bea looks down. Allie lifts Allie’s chin up so Bea is looking into her eyes. “I would spend every waking moment with you if I could. No, every moment with you...awake or not.” Allie smiles sweetly. Bea blushes and then two car doors slam shut. They break away as if they are doing something wrong. Then Bea remembers that Debbie is fine with her being with Allie and they don’t have to hide their affection for one another anymore. Bea holds Allie’s hand and looks at her. They both smile. Franky walks into the house, Franky style. “You need to feed your kid....she’s getting hangry,” Bea looks confused. “Angry/hungry....geez Red, get with the lingo.” Franky laughs. Debbie walks into the house. “Well, someone needs to feed me, and soon. Franky wouldn’t buy me anything at the concession stand.” Debbie says grumpily. Franky looks at Bea and Allie’s hands, looks up and smirks. “What have you ladies been up to?” Franky says with her tongue pushed against her cheek. Bea’s face turns bright red and Allie blushes slightly. Allie ignores the question and asks Debbie what she wants for dinner. “Let’s have Italian?” Debbie says with hope. Franky wasn’t going to let it go. “We were gone for 5 hours....did you take a nap Red?” Bea is ignoring Franky as well...or trying to. “Italian sounds good. I will get my purse.” Bea scurries out of the room. Franky laughs and winks at Allie.

The whole time Franky drove the women to the restaurant she kept looking at Bea in the rear view mirror and would wink or smirk. Bea is going to kill her the second she gets a chance. Franky knew what she and Allie were up to while she was gone and she couldn’t help but wind Bea up. Bea wishes Bridget were here to help her. Allie was sitting in the front seat so Bea didn’t think she noticed. But who’s kidding who, Allie wouldn’t care. She would give shit right back to Franky. 

They arrive at the restaurant and are seated right away. Debbie tells Bea about her day with Franky. “Franky says that I am ready to take my driver’s test. Can we set up an appointment.....soon?” Debbie asks her mother. “I want to take you out one more time and then yes, we can make an appointment for you to take the test.” Bea offers. “Red, you wound me. You don’t think I can tell if Debbie is ready or not?” Franky pouts. “I see you how you drive.” Bea teases. “How’s Bridget doing?” Allie asks Franky. “She’s good. Her parents are visiting for the weekend.” says Franky. “How come you aren’t with her? Her parents don’t like you?” Allie smirks. “Listen blondie, no one can resist the Doyle charm, but I wanted to give them some alone time. Bridget doesn’t visit with anyone without me and I don’t think it’s healthy. Besides I needed to check on Red and mini-Bea, although I think you’ve got that covered.” Franky smirks. Bea is getting embarrassed. “Can we just order?” Bea’s face is reddening. They order their food and the conversation flows. Allie and Franky share horrible client stories, Debbie laughing the whole time. Allie suddenly puts her foot up Bea’s pants leg and Bea jumps. Allie continues asking Debbie about what she would like to pursue in college as if nothing happened. Bea’s red face is all that Franky needed to smile widely and wiggle her eyebrows at Bea. It was time for dessert and Allie wants to share a tiramisu. When the server sets it on the table, Allie takes a spoonful and guides the dessert toward Bea’s mouth. Her face reddens but she sees pure adoration in Allie’s eyes and opens her mouth and takes in the tiramisu. Allie smiles. “How is it?” Allie smirks. Debbie is oblivious, nose deep in her chocolate mousse. Franky laughs and smiles warmly at Bea. She is happy for the red head. After dessert they head back to the house. It’s late but Debbie wants to watch a movie. Bea says she’s tired and asks Debbie if it is okay if she shares her room with Franky. Debbie, still oblivious agrees and Franky winks at Allie and Bea. “Good night lovebirds.” Franky smirks. Debbie looks up and realizes that Allie is following her mother into the bedroom and looks at Franky. Franky just shrugs her shoulders. She’s happy for her mother so she just says, “Goodnight mama. Goodnight Allie.” Bea turns and says goodnight, as does Allie. 

Bea closes the door behind them and turns to Allie who is smiling like a Cheshire cat. “What’s that smile for?” Bea asks smiling just as widely. “Our first sleep over….. Debbie handled that very well.” Allie says still smiling. “She did. Didn’t she? I have an awesome kid.” Bea says while leading Allie to her bed. “Please sit down. I have something for you. I have had it for a month. I was waiting to give it to you after the divorce was finalized. I think you should have it now.” Bea says as she opens one of the drawers to her dresser. Pulling out a medium sized box, Bea closes the dresser drawer and faces Allie. She hands it to Allie and smiles widely. “Bea, you didn’t need to get me something.” Allie says shyly. She opens the box and takes out the glass figurine of two seahorses linking tails. Allie’s eyes well with tears immediately. “Oh my God Bea, it’s beautiful.” Allie is trying not to cry but is unsuccessful. “You like it? I noticed the first time I was in your office that you seemed to have an affinity toward seahorses. When I saw it....I had to get it for you.” Allie hugs Bea fiercely and then kisses her passionately. “Do you know why I like seahorses so much?” Allie asks. Bea shakes her head no. “They mate for life and they hook tails when they travel so they don’t lose each other.” Allie smiles. Bea thinks Allie looks more beautiful at that moment then she has ever seen her before. The pure joy and devotion toward Bea reflected in her eyes make Bea’s eyes fill with tears as well. “Thank you. This is the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.” Allie wipes the tears from her face. “I love you Allie Novak.” Bea says while stroking Allie’s cheek. Allie pulls Bea’s face to hers with both hands and kisses Bea so gently and so tenderly. “I love you too Bea Smith.” Their kiss starts off chaste but develops into something more desperate. Allie is wants to feel Bea’s skin and runs her hands up Bea’s shirt. They both sigh at the contact. Allie tugs at the hemline of Bea’s shirt, requesting permission to take it off her. “You don’t need to ask me Allie. I am all yours. I trust you.” Bea smiles. Her response brings tears to Allie’s eyes. How did she get so lucky, Allie asked herself? Allie raises the shirt while Bea lifts her arms and tosses it to the ground. Allie kisses Bea’s shoulders and up her neck. She nips at Bea’s pulse point and then licks the skin soothingly. Bea wants to feel Allie’s skin as well and pulls her shirt up and off Allie’s body. Bea reaches behind Allie’s back, unclasps her bra and removes it, tossing it aside. She stares at Allie’s perfect breasts. Allie is excited and her nipples are erect. Bea leans over and takes one of them in her mouth, rolling the nub around with her tongue. Allie lets out a soft moan. “Shhh, remember we need to be quiet.” Bea rasps. The sound of Bea’s voice sends a bolt of electricity between Allie’s legs. She pulls Bea to her and kisses her hard. Bea’s tongue pushes between Allie’s lips and Allie gives her entrance. They kiss like they were never going to kiss again. Both of them are so aroused they are tugging at each other’s pants and Bea rids herself of her bra. Allie felt like a horny teenager. She can’t believe how wild this woman makes her. Once they’ve pulled off all of the offending clothes, Bea drags Allie on to the bed. Bea is overcome with desire. She doesn’t even recognize herself. She didn’t feel shy or timid. She felt like she was in control for the first time in her life. She pinned Allie’s arms above her head while she kissed every inch of skin she could find. Taking Allie’s nipple, she sucked, licked and tugged until it was swollen red. She does the same to the other one making Allie writhe on the bed. Allie was trying to not moan loudly but Bea was driving her crazy and it took everything not to make a sound. Bea moved her body over Allie’s creating friction against Allie’s nipples and pelvis. Allie felt like she was going to pass out. She wanted to turn Bea over and show her how much she wanted her but she liked this side of Bea and didn’t want to suppress Bea’s need to dominate. Bea kissed Allie hard and nibbled on Allie’s neck and grabbed her earlobe with her teeth, lightly grazing the skin. Allie gasped for breath, she was panting so hard. Bea kissed down the length of Allie’s body and when she got to her hips she let go of Allie’s arms. She lowered herself further until her mouth was inches from Allie’s core. Bea’s hot breath was making Allie squirm. Bea kissed Allie’s inner thighs and then pushed Allie’s legs open wider.Settling between Allie’s legs she spread her lips and looked at her lover’s core curiously. She took her time touching and licking all over it, discovering what made Allie respond with pleasure. Bea used her fingers, entering Allie and feeling her inner walls. She discovered areas where Allie really enjoyed being touched, trying a combination of her mouth and fingers to see what Allie really liked. Allie was whimpering after a while. She was so aroused she wanted Bea to stop teasing but she didn’t say anything. Allie wanted Bea to explore, to gain confidence in herself and in her abilities to please Allie. Bea inserted two fingers deep inside Allie and curled them looking for that sweet spot. When Allie’s hips jerked and she put a pillow over her face to not moan loudly….Bea new she had found it. She started licking Allie’s slit with long, slow strokes and intermittently hit her clit. She could feel Allie’s walls clench around her fingers. Taking Allie’s clit in her mouth, she started slowly pulling in and out of Allie’s entrance. She created suction around Allie’s clit with her lips and dragged her tongue underneath while keeping an excruciatingly slow pace. Bea could hear Allie moaning under the pillow. Bea took her sweet time, feeling Allie’s juices flow down her hand. Allie plead with Bea to go faster. Bea just kept the pace of licking and pushing in and out of Allie. Allie was trembling. Where did this woman come from? Allie thought to herself. She has never had anyone give her as much pleasure as she is feeling right now. Allie thought she would pass out and then she felt the buildup of her orgasm like an imminent tidal wave about to hit land. Her legs started jerking and Bea still kept the same pace until she knew Allie was about to come. She quickens the pace and her fingers find the sweet spot and her tongue licks her clit harder. Allie can feel all of it coming together like a crescendo until the orgasm rips through her body. Her body arches up, her legs are trembling and she is doing everything she can to not scream. She can feel the contractions in her inner walls and pulsing in her clit. It seemed like the orgasm went on forever and Bea is relentless. Allie couldn’t take any more and she squirmed out of Bea’s reach. Taking the pillow off her face, “please Bea…I can’t take anymore.” Allie pleaded. Bea moved back up to the top of the bed and kissed Allie softly. “Was that okay?” Bea asked innocently. Allie looked at her lover incredulously, pulled Bea’s hand to her chest. “Do you feel that? I feel like I am going to pass out. I think that is a good sign Bea.” Allie laughs. Bea smiles to herself. “I can’t even move my legs, they are like jellyfish.” Allie looks at Bea and is overwhelmed with a feeling of love. “Come here.” Allie pulls Bea into her arms and kisses her tenderly. Bea snuggles into Allie’s side. Allie kisses the top of her head and strokes Bea’s back, trying to calm down from the mind blowing orgasm Bea just gave her. If this is what she can do now…she’s going to kill me when she has more confidence, Allie thought. They both lay in the comfort of each other’s arms, kissing and cuddling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope tonight's episode was good. I won't be able to see it until tomorrow when it is posted. I can't look at FB until then, too many spoilers. I bid you all a good night and a great day tomorrow.


	36. Overnight Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part of their first overnight together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so short. Next chapter will be longer.

“Allie...”Bea asks quietly. “Mmmmm?” Allie hums while stroking Bea’s hair, enjoying the intimacy of being in each other’s arms. “Was I too aggressive with you?” Bea asks. “What do you mean by aggressive?” Allie asks surprised by the question. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask you if it was alright to do things to you, I just did them and I held you down at one point and I wondered if it bothered you.” Bea asks nervously. “The question is do you feel like you were being too aggressive?” Allie asks wondering where this is going. “I don’t know how to say this right....I can see why Harry liked to have control over me. It is a turn on to be in control of you and it makes me feel sick that I could have caused you any fear or anxiety.” Bea sits up and looks at Allie, her lower lip trembling. Allie sits up and holds Bea. “Oh Bea, you didn’t scare me or make me uncomfortable....I didn’t see it as aggressive or being in control of me. I saw it as assertive and it is sexy as hell. You knew what you wanted and took it but not in a way where I felt like I had no control. If I had asked you to stop, would you have?” Allie asked. “Of course I would. I only want to make you feel good.” Bea says appalled at the idea of forcing herself on Allie. “So, you are not like Harry. He got off on causing you fear and dominating you. You were in the moment enjoying yourself and wanting to give me pleasure. Very different animals.” Allie said while stroking Bea’s cheek. “You must think I am stupid for asking that...” Bea feels foolish for even bringing it up. Allie sat with her legs wrapped around Bea’s hips, their fronts nearly touching and had both of her hands on either side of Bea’s face. “Look at me...I promise you can always talk to me about anything. What you asked me wasn’t stupid, it’s a legitimate concern you are having. Okay?” Allie looks in Bea’s eye so lovingly, Bea’s heart swells. “I hope that if I make you uncomfortable in any way, that you would tell me. You are in control of your own body Bea.” Allie kisses Bea softly and pulls her as close as possible given the position they are sitting in. “I promise I will tell you if you are being aggressive, okay? Allie says sincerely. Bea nods. Allie kisses Bea lovingly and winds her fingers in Bea’s hair. Bea has never felt so safe with anyone before. She feels loved. “Let’s lay down for a bit?” Allie asks with her eyebrow raised. “Ok.” Bea complies. Allie spoons Bea, lying like that for a while. Allie is getting sleepy, especially after her mind-blowing orgasm but she still wants to make love to Bea. Having Bea’s backside against her core is turning her on. Allie’s arm is wrapped around Bea’s side, her hand an inch away from Bea’s breast. She softly caresses Bea’s breast and Bea sighs at the touch. Allie skims her nipple and moves her pelvis into Bea’s backside and is rewarded with a low moan. Allie’s hand massages Bea’s breast and Bea presses back further into Allie’s front, and Bea can feel Allie’s erect nipples against her back. Bea guides Allie’s hand to her other breast and squeezes Allie’s fingers onto her nipple. Allie is definitely aroused and wide awake. Allie’s hand slides down Bea’s stomach to her core and cups it. Testing the waters, Allie’s fingers part Bea’s lips and can feel the moisture of arousal and she moans into Bea’s ear. Licking the rim of Bea’s ear and then sucking on the lobe, Allie pulls Bea as close as possible. Bea turns her neck and Allie places a searing kiss on Bea’s lips. Bea can’t take it anymore and turns her body facing Allie. Be rolls on top of her and kisses Allie hard and wet. Their tongues clashing against each other with desperation. Allie’s fingers find Bea’s core once more and rubs her clit gently. Bea didn’t want gentle and she grinds against Allie’s fingers. Opening her legs and straddling Allie’s hips, she guides Allie’s fingers inside her. Bea’s lips are swollen and red and she is looking at Allie with such lust. It’s not an easy position to enter Bea as far as she would like but Bea rode Allie’s fingers and moved in circles, giving her the pleasure she was looking for. Allie can’t believe how sexy she is. Bea’s confidence is rocketing and Allie loves it. Bea bends down to kiss Allie, fingers still inside her. They kiss passionately and then Bea sits back up, continuing to grind against her hand. Allie is very aroused by the look on Bea’s face, what she is doing and the friction it is causing against Allie’s pelvic area. Bea grabs both of Allie’s breasts and kneads them, occasionally tugging her nipples. Allie turns her face into her pillow to muffle the sounds she was making. Allie’s free hand is massaging Bea’s ass which Bea seems to be enjoying. “Bea, would you be willing to….um….sit….on my face?” Allie says with embarrassment. Bea opens her eyes and instead of being embarrassed, she nods. Allie slides down the bed and Bea moves up and straddles Allie’s head. Bea made sure not to put too much pressure on Allie’s face, she didn’t want to hurt her. Bea can’t believe she is doing this and somehow she isn’t shy about it. As they both get settled, Allie licks Bea’s hole, up her slit and to her clit. Bea moans almost too loudly. She grabs a pillow and stuffs it in between the head board and her mouth. Allie licks and licks and then latches on to Bea’s clit. Sucking and licking it until it is rock hard. Bea tries not to too grind into Allie’s face too hard, not wanting to hurt her. Allie grabs and kneads Bea’s ass while thrusting her tongue into Bea’s entrance. Juices are flowing over Allie’s chin, Bea is so aroused. Allie continued her attack on Bea’s clit and she can hear muffled moans. Allie knew Bea was close. She maneuvered her hand so that she could get a finger knuckle deep inside Bea and slowly pushed in and out. That was enough for Bea’s orgasm to hit. She knows Bea tried so hard to not scream but Allie was sure that Frankie would hear them and give them shit in the morning. Hopefully Debbie doesn’t. Bea said she was a deep sleeper. Bea rode her orgasm out and lifted herself off Allie’s face with trembling legs. She plopped down on the bed and grabbed Allie’s face, kissing her hard. “Oh my God, that was amazing.” Bea said with a hoarse voice from trying to lower the volume of her moans. Of course, that voice made Allie crazy and she kissed Bea with equal passion. Bea laid on her back panting waiting for her heartbeat to regulate. Allie turned on her side and stroked Bea’s stomach softly. Bea twitched at every touch, her nerves were on fire and Bea was sure that she would come again just with the slightest touch. Allie burrowed into Bea’s side and Bea put her arm around her. “How did that position feel?” Allie asks. “Amazing but I kept worrying that I was crushing you.” Bea said still breathing hard. Allie laughed. I was fine. Bea finally calms down and after a while of cuddling Bea says “I’m going to grab some water, do you want some?” Allie gets out of bed and says, “I will go get some. You relax.” Allie smirks. Allie puts her shirt and panties on and walks into the kitchen to fetch the water. Returning to the bedroom, she hands Bea a bottle and takes a long drag off of hers. Allie looked at the time. It was really late and Allie knew they should both get some sleep. She gets into bed beside Bea and pulls the blanket over them. Pulling Bea into her so they are spooning, Allie tells Bea she loves her and they both fall into a peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, in my opinion episode 4 was boring. It was predictable and I am getting tired of a certain malevolent character. I hope next week's episode is more exciting. I miss Bea terribly and I don't think they are using Allie enough. I read that filming starts in a few weeks for Season 6. I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. It's just not the same without Bea and the writers really made a mistake. But again, that's just my opinion.
> 
> Hope you all are having a good week.


	37. Meeting Ellen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea meets Allie's mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have said this numerous times but I am still so appreciative of your continuous support and kind words of encouragement. Without you all I wouldn't have continued this story. So thank you.

Bea woke up in Allie’s arms. A smile played against Bea’s face. It feels like she is in heaven. She turns around so that she is facing Allie. She is still asleep but has a smile on her face and Bea thinks she couldn’t look any more beautiful. How did she get so lucky? Turning over must have woken Allie up because her eyes open and her smile grew even wider. “Good morning beautiful.” Allie murmured, not quite awake yet. Bea tucks a stray blond lock over Allie’s ear. “Good morning yourself.” Bea rasps. Allie responds to Bea’s throaty morning voice by moving closer and planting a not so chaste kiss to Bea’s lips. Both women were instantly aroused. Allie pulls Bea closer and caresses Bea’s back and ass. Bea wants to make love to Allie right then and there but knows that they need to get up. Franky would be leaving soon. Bea pulls away after a minute. “Time to get up Novak.” Bea smiles. “No, I want to stay here in our cocoon.” Allie pouts. Bea kisses Allie on the forehead and slides out of bed. She puts on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and walks out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Franky was awake of course but there was no sign of Debbie. “Morning Red,” Franky says already smirking. “Morning. Debbie not up yet?” Bea asks avoiding the questioning look on Franky’s face. “Nah, she is still asleep. Blondie still asleep? Franky asks, taking a mug out for Bea’s coffee. “No, we both woke up at the same time but I get the feeling she doesn’t get out of bed right away when she wakes up.” Bea says while accepting the coffee Franky hands her. “I spoke to Gidge a little while ago and she wants to know if Debbie could stay with us for the week. Gidge is taking some time off and I can’t so she thought it would be good to see how Debbie’s doing and to spend some one on one time with her. You know Gidge loves Debbie.” says Franky. “It’s up to Debbie but there is also Harry’s funeral. Whenever that will be.” Bea frowns. “Gidge can take her and meet you wherever it is being held.” Franky says. “Ok, let’s ask Debbie”. Allie walks into the kitchen and Franky grabs another cup from the cabinet. Bea can’t help but think about how cute Allie looks half awake. She smiles shyly at Allie. Allie’s face lights up. Franky makes a groan of disgust at the display of affection. “I’m going to take a shower, you guys are going to make me sick.” Franky says with a smirk. As Franky walks by Bea she whispers in her ear. “I expect details, no shy shit either.” Franky grins and then slaps Bea on the ass. Allie laughs. They take their coffees outside and sit on the steps, smiling at each other like teenagers. Allie asks “are you okay with everything that happened yesterday?” Bea’s face turns red and replies “more than okay. If we were alone his morning I would show you how okay I am with it.” Bea grins. “Why Ms. Smith, are you propositioning me… again.” Allie asks wiggling her eyebrows. “Yeah, I think I am. It’s weird…. I avoided sex with Harry and yet… I don’t want to stop touching you.” Bea says with amazement. “You didn’t have sex with Harry. He took what he wanted. With you and me it’s different because we gave ourselves to each other. That’s how it is supposed to be. I love you Bea and I want to show you how much not just when we talk or do things together but through physical intimacy too.” Bea blushes but she feels the same way too. Bea and Allie are startled by Debbie’s complaining through the window that there is no breakfast being made. Allie winks as Bea laughs. “My daughter acts like she never eats and that I am trying to starve her to death.” Bea shakes her head. “I will go start breakfast with her. You enjoy your coffee.” Allie walks into the house. A while later, Franky opens the front door and steps out with a fresh mug of coffee. She sits on the steps next to Bea. “Ok, spill it Red.” Franky wiggles her eyebrows. Bea knows she won’t escape this conversation. “What do you want to know Franky?” Bea says clearly not wanting to give up the details. “You know what I want to know. Did you two seal the deal?” Franky asks ever so tactfully. Bea face grows red and nods. Franky’s smile grows wider. “While we were gone? I know you did something last night because I heard blondie moan at one point.” Franky’s tongue is pushing her cheek out. “Oh God, did Debbie hear?” Bea is so embarrassed. “Nah, you know Debbie sleeps like the dead.” Franky laughs. “Well, did you? I deliberately kept Debbie out of the house for hours to give you love birds time for some lesbo sex.” Franky asked getting impatient. “Yes.” Was all Bea could muster. “And….I would ask if you liked it but judging by the smiles you’ve been giving each other this morning….” Franky winked. “I did….a lot. It was more than I could ever have hoped for. Allie is so tender and attentive.” Bea smiled while looking downward. “Did you reciprocate?” Franky asked. Bea nodded her head. “Did you like it?” Franky asked seriously. “Yes, it was very empowering knowing that I could make her feel good like that. I found my insecurities melt away and I couldn’t get enough of her.” Bea said with more confidence than Franky has ever seen Bea have. “That’s good Bea, I am really happy for you.” Franky smiled warmly. “Did she tell you she loved you?” Franky asked curiously. “Yes, she did and I said it back.” Bea said. Franky put an arm around Bea and squeezed her shoulders. “You deserve to be happy Red. You’re a good person and so is blondie.” Franky said sincerely. “Now, we can double date….maybe even have a little foursome.” Bea hits Franky’s arm a little less playfully. “Aw come on Red. I bet Allie is really good in bed. You should be more sharing.” Franky laughs at Bea’s blushing and new found jealousy. “Franky, I am going to kick your ass.” Bea says standing up and Franky gets up and runs into the house cackling. “Debbie help!!!” Allie and Debbie are laughing at the two of them. “What did you do now?’ Debbie asks Franky. “Why do you assume it was me that did something wrong?” Franky squeals when Bea pokes her in the ribs. Debbie just looks at Franky like “who’s kidding who?” Bea walks over to Allie, who is flipping pancakes and kisses her forehead. Allie beams with affection. Debbie and Franky both make a gagging noise while pretending to stick their fingers down their throats. They are all giggling and for Bea it was the best moment she has ever had, aside from the birth of her beautiful daughter.

Bea and Franky talk to Debbie about spending the week with Bridget and she was all in. The plan is for Bea to let Debbie know when the funeral is and she would pick her daughter up and they would go together. After breakfast, Franky and Debbie leave. The house was suddenly quiet and Bea and Allie realize that they had the house to themselves. Bea got shy again. “So what are your plans today?” Bea asks Allie hoping to spend more time with the blond. “I am going to visit my mother and see how she is doing.” “Oh, that sounds like a good idea.” Bea says trying to hide her disappointment. Allie picks up on it and suggests that Bea tag along. “I couldn’t do that. I am sure your mother wants you all to herself since she doesn’t see you very often.” Bea appreciates the offer but doesn’t want to intrude. Also, meeting Allie’s mother is a little daunting. “Nonsense, my mother is very curious about the woman I am in love with.” Allie grins. “I will call her and find out what she wants for lunch and we can go over there. I must forewarn you, she will ask a lot of questions and try and get you to play cards with her. She is a bit of a card shark. She beats me all of the time. Does that sound okay?” Allie asks hoping Bea will agree. Bea can’t resist that beautiful face, especially when she has a small pout on her face. “Ok, as long as your mother is really okay with me being there.” Bea says looking at Allie adoringly. “Great! I will call her now.” Allie beams. “I’ll clean up the kitchen while you call.” Bea says picking up the dishes. By the time Bea’s done with cleaning up the kitchen, Allie comes back into the kitchen. “She is so excited to meet you.” Allie smiles. We just need to pick up a few things including lunch. I told her we would be there at 1pm which leaves us a few hours….” Allie winks. Bea’s face turns red. “Why are you blushing Bea Smith? You need to get your mind out of the gutter.” Allie smirks. “Oh please, your mind is right there along with mine.” Bea smirks in return. Allie wraps her arms around Bea’s waist. “What do you say to a shower together?” Allie asks with a sultry voice and Bea melts in her arms. Bea whispers in Allie’s ear, “I would love that.” The rasp of Bea’s voice in Allie’s ear leaves the blond a mess. She can feel a thumping in her core and her heart flutters. Allie doesn’t need to be asked twice, she takes Bea’s hand and leads her to the bathroom.

They stand under the warm water, eyes locked on one another. Allie grabs the shampoo and pours a little into her hand. “Turn around” she whispers in Bea’s ear. Bea can feel her body grow warmer by the second. Allie massages the shampoo into Bea’s hair slowly. Allie’s breasts are pressing into Bea’s back. Bea pushes her ass into Allie’s core and they both moan. Allie moves out of the water so Bea can rinse the shampoo out of her hair. Bea washes Allie’s hair and then Bea takes the soap and rubs into a wash cloth. She washes Allie’s whole body tortuously slow and Allie is loving it. Bea pays special attention to Allie’s breast and ass. Before Allie can rinse the soap off, Bea rubs her body against Allie’s sensually. Gliding her breast over Allie’s, Bea kisses her slowly, conveying the love she feels for her. Allie slides her hands all over Bea and cups her core, massaging gently and slowly causing Bea to moan loudly. Allie turns Bea around and rubs her lips across the back of Bea’s neck, nibbling on her ear. Bea reaches backward and cups Allie’s core. She slides a finger between Allie’s folds and can feel her wetness and she sighs. Allie pushes Bea’s torso down a little and Allie bends her knees so that she can reach her hand under Bea’s ass and her fingers massage Bea’s clit. Bea is enjoying the position and pushes hard into Allie’s hand. Allie kisses Bea’s back and enters Bea’s core and pumps her fingers into her. Bea has both hands against the wall. Her body is on fire and she is moaning unabashed. Allie moves faster and swipes Bea’s clit intermittently with her thumb. Bea can feel her walls tighten around Allie’s fingers and she feels like her inner walls are going to explode any minute. Allie turns Bea around quickly and kisses her with a passion that takes Bea’s breath away. Allie continues pumping in and out of Bea, biting her neck and massaging Bea’s breast. Bea is dizzy with arousal. Allie enters a third finger and within a second Bea’s walls explode. The intensity of the orgasm leaves Bea’s mouth dry as she screams Allie’s name. Allie squats down before Bea’s core and licks and sucks on Bea’s clit causing another orgasm to hit Bea, only stronger than the one before. Bea can’t take much more. Gently pushing Allie’s face away, she pulls Allie up and kisses her with every ounce of love she is feeling. Allie holds Bea as if she is the most precious thing in the world. Once they are both clean, they exit the shower. Bea is having difficulty finding her balance. She can still feel Allie’s fingers inside of her. Bea dries Allie off and then herself. Allie is about to ask Bea if she can borrow a pair of underwear and a clean shirt when Bea pushes her down on the bed. “That was amazing. I never knew you could have multiple orgasms.” Bea says with astonishment. “We could have gone for three but you pushed me away.” Allie smirks. “I couldn’t handle three, I can barely walk now.” Bea laughs. “Well let’s see if we can get three out of you.” Bea says with one eyebrow raised. Allie smiled.

Three orgasms later and the women finally dressed and were ready to go run their errands, then off to Ellen’s. They stop at the store and get Ellen more magazines, food and treats. Allie grabs a bouquet of flowers. “That’s nice of you.” Bea admires. “Ever since my dad died I get my mother flowers to remind her that she is worth the good things that come to her. I have been doing it for years. Now my mother thanks me instead of saying that I shouldn’t have. She has come a long way.” Allie says thinking back to when her mother first was out from under her father’s thumb. “Let’s pay for all of this and grab some take out.” Allie says trying to bring herself back into the present. They decide on getting Chinese food and arrive at Ellen’s at 12:50pm. Ellen opens the door, Allie hands her the flowers and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. Bea is standing in the doorway looking shy and feeling nervous. Ellen beams at Bea. “So you must be Bea. You’re even more beautiful than Allie described you.” Ellen says taking Bea’s hand and leading her into the living room. Bea’s face turns red at the compliment. “Thank you.” Bea says meekly. “You’re right Allie, she is a shy one.” Ellen smiles warmly. “Have a seat honey.” Ellen motions to the couch. “What are we having for lunch Alliecat?” Ellen asks. “Alliecat?” Bea asks and laughs. It’s Allie’s turn to turn red. “I’ve called her that for years. When she was younger, she would go to one friend’s house to another for dinner, or to just get away from her dad like an alley cat.” Ellen says laughing but there was pain behind the laughter. Allie tries to change the subject. “We picked up Chinese food. I hope that’s okay mom?” Allie asks while unpacking the containers and placing them on the kitchen counter. “I love Chinese food. Come on Bea let’s fix you a plate. What do you want to drink? I have iced tea, water, wine, juice.” Ellen asks holding Bea’s hand again. Bea would normally find the touch disconcerting but like Allie, her mother made her feel safe and she rather enjoyed it. “Iced tea would be good. How are you feeling by the way? I was worried when Allie told me you were sick.” Bea said while accepting the glass of tea. Allie put together three plates of food and they all sat down at the kitchen table. “I am starting to feel much more like myself. Still really tired but better. Thank you for thinking of me.” Ellen smiled warmly. “So tell me about yourself Bea. I want to know everything about the woman that stole my baby’s heart.” Ellen asked between bites. Bea immediately blushed. Ellen laughs. “You really are adorable.” Bea can definitely see where Allie gets her charm from. “Not much to tell. I have a 17 year-old daughter, Debbie. I am working at a salon in downtown South Hampton.” Bea says suddenly at a loss for words. “There is more to you than that. What do you like to do? Hobbies? Things like that…” Ellen probes. “Mom, leave Bea alone. She’ll tell you if she wants to.” Allie says with mild exasperation. “I told you she’s nosy.” Allie laughs. Bea smiles. “I like to draw. While I was with Harry….my husband…late husband…” Bea gets emotional and excuses herself. “May I use your bathroom Ellen?” Allie gets up and walks Bea to the bathroom. “Of course honey.” Ellen says with concern. Allie wants to go into the bathroom to comfort Bea but knew that Bea is entitled to some privacy. Allie sits back down at the table. “Her husband was murdered this weekend by some inmates at the county jail.” Allie said frowning. “I don’t think it has completely sunk in yet.” Ellen grabs Allie’s hand and squeezes. “You know it is going to be a bumpy road ahead. She will be feeling a lot of different emotions. Be gentle with her, she’ll need your support.” Ellen says tucking a stray blond hair behind Allie’s ear. “I know. I will always be there for her.” Allie says quietly. Bea comes out of the bathroom a little while later. “I’m sorry Ellen. That came out of nowhere.” Bea is mortified that she broke down in from of Allie’s mother. “Nonsense. Listen honey, I have been in your shoes. I know how confusing all of the emotions are but you will learn to deal with them. From what I know about Harry, is it..?” Bea nods. “From what I know about Harry, you have a lot to process now that he is dead. I want you to know that I am here if you ever want to talk. I know that you don’t know me but I would really like to help. I have the feeling you aren’t going anywhere and I need to get to know the love of my daughter’s life.” Ellen says. Allie gently elbows her mother. “Oh my God mom, you are killing me. You are going to scare Bea away.” Allie laughs uncomfortably. Bea laughs and puts her hand on Allie’s. “That is unlikely…Alliecat.” Bea teases Allie. The women talk for a while and Allie cleans up their plates and packs up the leftovers while Ellen ropes Bea into a game of Gin Rummy. Allie is beside herself with happiness that her mother likes Bea and that they are getting along so well. After Ellen beats Bea many times over, Ellen says she is tired from all of the activity of the afternoon. Allie and Bea head to the front door and Allie hugs her mother and kisses her on the cheek. Ellen then grabs Bea and gives her a hearty hug and kisses her on the cheek. “Thank you for making my daughter so happy.” Ellen whispers in Bea’s ear. All Bea could do was smile. Ellen is as lovely as Allie and she felt thankful that Ellen likes her. 

“Do you want to go do something or should I just drop you off?” Allie asks Bea not really wanting the day with her to end. Bea doesn’t want Allie to go home. “Will you stay with me tonight? We can watch a movie or something. Maybe later go watch the sunset on the beach?” Bea asks shyly. “I would love to spend the night with you Bea. Whatever you want to do is good with me beautiful.” Allie kisses Bea softly and puts the car in drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have a great weekend!


	38. The Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short one and that it's taken me a few days to post. It has been a crap week and I didn't have the energy to write.

Allie brings two blankets with them to the beach. One to sit on and one to cover her and Bea up when the wind picks up. They had an hour before the sun would set and Allie looked forward to watching it with her favorite redhead. There are only a handful of people that had the same thought they did so the beach was relatively quiet. Allie lays the blanket down and pulls out the bottle of wine they purchased on the way to the beach. She opens it and grabs the glasses they brought with them. Bea uncorks the bottle and pours them each a glass. Allie raises her glass in a toast. “To new beginnings.” Bea lightly touches Allie’s glass with her own. “To new beginnings.” Allie pulled Bea between her legs, wrapping an arm around her waist and they sit facing the waves. Allie presses a kiss on to the crown of Bea’s head. “Was meeting my mother too much?” Allie asked hoping that Bea felt comfortable in her mother’s presence. “Not at all, your mother is wonderful. I really like her.” Bea said taking a sip of her Merlot. “Well, she really liked you. I could tell. She is delighted that you played cards with her. Unfortunately you set precedence and now every time you go over to her house, you’ll have to play with her.” Allie said laughing. “I enjoyed it. My mother and I never spent time like that….sorry about the freak out though.” Bea said with embarrassment. “Bea, you have a right to be freaking out. With everything that happened this weekend, I am surprised your holding up as well as you have.” Allie said supportively. “Well, not everything this weekend has been bad….” Bea said softly. Allie didn’t have to see Bea’s face to know what she was referring to. “I enjoyed every moment of our time together this weekend.” Allie kisses Bea’s head again. “Although I got to know every inch of your body this weekend I feel like there is so much I don’t know about you.” Allie said. “What do you want to know?” Bea asks. “So many things. Like when is your birthday? What is your favorite food? What kind of music do you like? What is your favorite color?” Allie asks wanting to go on but also wanting to hear Bea’s answers. “Let’s see, my birthday is June 26th , my favorite food is anything Italian. I like a bit of everything but my favorite music is 60s and 70s music. My favorite color is dark red.” Bea says. “Like your red throw blanket?” Allie asks. “Yes. Now you tell me.” Bea says enjoying this getting to know you questioning. “My birthday is July 2nd which means we are both Cancers….not surprising. I love sushi. My favorite kind of music is singer/songwriter style. My favorite color is chocolate brown, like your eyes.” Allie says and tightens her hold on Bea’s waist for a second. “Ok, my turn.” Bea says. “If you could live anywhere, where would it be?” Bea asks, taking a sip of wine. “Hmmmm, wherever you are.” Allie says almost seductively. “Good answer.” Bea laughs. “My turn. What would be your dream date?” Allie asks curiously. “I’ve never thought about it. I don’t really know but what we are doing right now would definitely be up there.” Bea says turning her head to capture a kiss from Allie. They were quiet for a while as the sun started to set when Bea broke the silence. “I’m going to have to go back to my house and sort things out.” Bea says sadly. “What do you mean?” Allie asks unsure what Bea is referring to. “My old house. I need to pack up the things I want to move here. Debbie has her clothes and things that she will want to get. I don’t want anything other than my clothes and photos. I am going to give everything else to Goodwill. Everything in that house will remind me of Harry and I want it all to be in the past.” Bea says emphatically. “Sounds like a good idea beautiful.” Allie murmurs into Bea’s hair. “I can help you with whatever you need. Are you going to sell the house?” Allie asks. “Yes. I want nothing to do with that house. I can use the money to pay for Debbie’s college and help me to settle here.” Bea says, thinking about all of the things she will need to take care of. “I’m glad you have decided to move here. Having a girlfriend live 45 minutes away would be difficult.” Allie says as if she is joking but she is really relieved that Bea will be close to her. Bea giggles. “What’s so funny?” Allie asks poking Bea in the side playfully. “You said girlfriend. I like the sound of it.” Bea says smiling. “Well you are, aren’t you?” Allie asks. “Yes, I am and I couldn’t be happier about that.” Bea says with affection. The wind has picked up and Allie stretches over Bea to grab the blanket and wraps it around them. The sunset is beautiful and Allie couldn’t be happier. “What does your week look like?” Bea asks. “I have a client coming in at 9am, we are going to a hearing. The rest of the day will be about catching up on paperwork. I have a new client coming in on Tuesday. I’m not sure about the rest of the week. Oh, I am meeting my best friend Maxine for drinks on Wednesday night. I would really love you to meet her by the way.” Allie says hoping she is not moving too fast for Bea. “I have the feeling she is the harder one to get approval from, more so than your mother.” Allie laughs. “Yeah, she’s very protective of me. Not that my mother isn’t of course but it’s different. Maxine doesn’t like the way our relationship evolved but she will love you.” Allie says seriously. “Well let’s wait for a while. I think I am not ready to be scrutinized just yet.” Bea says playfully but is actually worried about meeting Maxine. “What does your week look like?” Allie asks. “I am scheduled to work all week but I will have to talk to Liz about taking time off for the funeral and going over to the house. Hopefully she will be okay with it.” Bea suddenly realizes that she needs to work that out with Liz. “I’m sure she will work with you on that Bea.” Allie says. “Would you like me to go with you and Debbie to the funeral and/or to the house? If it’s too much, it’s okay to say no. I don’t want to pressure you. I just want to be there if you need me.” Allie says hoping that she is not being pushy. “I don’t know yet. Let me think about it, okay?” Bea wonders if she can do it on her own. “Okay beautiful. The offer is out there.” Allie kisses her head. The sun has fully set and despite both of them enjoying the closeness they are feeling, it was time to head back to the house.

When they get back to the house Bea declares that she is going to take a quick shower to wash off the sea air and sand. She doesn’t ask Allie to join her, she just simply extends her hand out to Allie and leads her to the bathroom. Bea is enjoying how easy it is being with Allie. She doesn’t feel like she needs to worry about what Allie is thinking or worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. That in and of itself is a wonderful feeling. Bea doesn’t have any trouble vocalizing what she wants with Allie. Everything is easy and she hopes that it stays that way. Once the women were both done showering, they decide to call it an early night. They were up early and had a busy week ahead of them. Allie put on the seahorse pajamas she picked up from the cottage earlier and Bea wore a tank top and night shorts. Allie thinks that Bea is the sexiest woman she has ever seen. They snuggle up under the blanket and Allie looks at Bea with the sweetest look. “What?” Bea asks. “You are so fucking beautiful. I can’t believe you’re real.” Allie says while stroking Bea’s face. Bea instantly blushes. “Well that was really romantic.” Bea says giggling. “I don’t know how else to say it!” Allie smirks. “You are pretty fucking gorgeous if you ask me.” Bea says smiling widely. “Oh so that’s how it’s going to be, is it?” Allie tickles Bea and she shrieks. She is very ticklish. “Quit it!” Bea is squealing. Allie stops and brings Bea close to her. They stop laughing and look at each other, the mood changing immediately. There is a sudden charge in the air. Allie rolls on top of Bea and kisses her slowly. Bea moans at the feel of Allie’s body on top of her. Bea’s hands are underneath Allie’s shirt and she tugs on it so Allie pulls the offending garment off. Allie pushes Bea’s tank top up and kisses Bea’s breasts and stomach. Bea rolls them over so that she is now laying on Allie. Kissing her passionately Bea slips her leg between Allie’s. They both moan at the contact. Allie can feel the wetness through Bea’s shorts and on to her thigh. Allie reaches down and slides her hand underneath Bea’s shorts. She rubs Bea’s clit while kissing her passionately. Bea’s hips rise to meet Allie’s hand. She is so excited and knew she would come quickly. Allie begins to slide down Bea’s body but is stopped. “I want to look at you.” Bea says and strokes Allie’s cheek with her thumb. Allie moves back up and continues to stroke Bea’s clit. They are looking in each other’s eyes the whole time as Bea climaxes. “I love you beautiful.” Allie says with tears in her eyes. Bea pulls Allie to her body and whispers in her ear. “I love you too baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may take a few days to post the next chapter. I missed a few days from work and have a lot to catch up on. Since my best writing is done at work...I won't be posting as quickly. Thank you for your patience.


	39. Someone Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The week is turning out to be an improvement over the last one. Thank you for all of the kind comments and well wishes.

Bea makes tea in the backroom of the salon, waiting for Liz to arrive. She feels nervous to ask for time off since she hasn’t been working there that long but, she thinks Liz will understand. Deep in thought, Bea is startled by Boomer. “The traffic here is going to do my head in.” Boomer says loud enough for the people next door to hear her. “Boomer, you complain every morning about the traffic. Aren’t you used to it by now?” Bea laughs. “You’d think I would, yeah?” Boomer laughs and makes her morning tea. Bea can hear Liz as she is greeting Kaz. “Good morning love, Boomer.” Liz smiles at Bea. “I need to talk to you about something. Do you have a minute?” Bea asks nervously. “Of course love, what is it?” Liz noticing that Bea is nervous. “Over the weekend Harry died. I need to go to his funeral. His family is making the arrangements and I don’t know what day it will be but I think it will be this week. I hate giving you short notice but is it okay if I take the day off to go?” Bea practically blurts out without taking a breath. Liz puts her hand on Bea’s arm trying to settle her down. “Bea, I am so sorry. Of course you can take the time off. If you need more time, please take it.” Bea visibly relaxes. “Thank you Liz. I am sorry to put you in a bind.” Bea’s eyes start to well up. Liz has been so good to her and she’s bringing her own drama into the salon. Liz can sense how guilty Bea is feeling and even though it is an overreaction, she gets where it is coming from. “You just let me know when and we can reschedule your appointments.” Liz hugs Bea. “Thank you so much Liz. I really appreciate everything you have done for me.” Bea says while wiping the remnants of unshed tears. “It’s going to be a busy day. You’ve got three clients. Are you up for it?” Liz asks with concern. “Yeah, I will be fine.” Bea smiles and heads to her work station.

During Bea’s afternoon break, she receives a text from Allie.

Allie: How did it go with Liz?  
Bea: She was very supportive and told me to take whatever time I needed off.  
Allie: That’s good. I didn’t think she would have a problem....your husband died.  
Bea: Yeah. I got emotional while asking her, as usual. She must think I am always crying.  
Allie: Please don’t be hard on your beautiful self.  
Bea: Ok…. How did court go?  
Allie: Great! I was brilliant of course ;)  
Bea: So modest.  
Bea: I miss you.  
Allie: I miss you too. I would much rather have been with you today.  
Bea: Would you stay over tonight? Or am I being too needy?  
Allie: I would love to stay over. No, you are not being too needy. I know you just can’t resist the Novak charm ;)  
Bea: That’s what it is, lol.  
Allie: Call me when you are home and I will bring over some dinner?  
Bea: Sounds great. I love you. xoxoxo  
Allie: Ooooh, I get a hug and a kiss too. Can’t to see what I will get in person!  
Bea: Behave and you will get much more than a kiss....  
Allie: Ok, that’s not fair. I am all tingly now.  
Bea: You’ll live ;)

Bea is almost finished for the day. She begins cleaning up her work station when her phone rings. “Hello?” Bea rasps. “Hello Bea, it’s Monica. I finished making the funeral arrangements.” Harry’s mother, Monica sounded like she has been crying. Bea tried to find sympathy for her, but Monica has been horrible to her for years and she couldn’t find it in herself to pretend that she cared. “When and where is it?” Bea asked coldly. “It will be at Fairchild Sons Funeral Chapel on Thursday at 3pm. You are bringing Debbie, right? It’s not like you want to be there.” Monica asked irritably. “Yes, I will bring her.” Bea answers not taking the bait to get into an argument with her mother-in-law. “I’ll see you on Thursday Monica.” Bea said and hung up without saying goodbye. Bea has disliked Monica from the first time they met. She always accused Bea of getting pregnant deliberately to trap Harry into marrying her. Harry was his mother’s pride and joy and she doted on him as if he was a prince. It made Bea sick. His father Carl, was a mean son-of-a-bitch. Bea was secretly pleased when he died. Bea knew that Carl had beaten the shit out of Harry when he was younger. Bea had seen Harry flinch many times when Carl would get angry over something trivial. She was not looking forward to seeing Monica on Thursday but she knew that she had to suck it up for Debbie’s sake. 

Before Bea left for the day, she let Liz know that she would need Thursday off. Liz had told her to take Friday off as well. Bea called Allie to let her know that she was heading home and to come over whenever she was ready. Allie said that she would pick up some Thai food on her way over to the house. Bea took a quick shower, she felt like she smelled like the chemicals she used to color hair. The shower relaxed her and she opened a bottle of wine to breathe for dinner. Bea wanted to surprise Allie with candle light and some music, making it feel like a real date. While setting the table, Bea realized that she was very eager to see the blonde. It amazes her how much she craves Allie’s presence, quite the departure from how she felt about Harry. While waiting, Bea sat on the couch with her sketchbook and started to draw. She is finishing up a drawing that she wants to give Allie for her birthday. 

Allie arrives shortly after, baring dinner and a box of baked goods from a local bakery. “Well hello beautiful.” Allie walks through the house to the kitchen. She notices that there are lit candles on the dining room table and the lights were dimmed down low. Playing in the background is Van Morrison. “Hi yourself.” Bea rasps. Allie gives her a quick peck on the lips and sets everything on the counter. Turning around to face Bea, Allie wraps her arms around her and kisses Bea softly. “I have thought about kissing you all day.” Allie murmurs. Bea instantly melts into Allie’s embrace. Allie sways Bea to the music and they get lost in the current song playing.

I've been searching a long time for someone exactly like you  
I've been travelling all around the world waiting for you to come through.  
Someone like you makes it all worthwhile  
Someone like you keeps me satisfied.  
Someone exactly like you.

Bea’s chin is leaning on Allie’s shoulder. Allie gently strokes Bea’s hair as they sway. The lyrics moving both of them. 

I've been travellin' a hard road  
Lookin' for someone exactly like you  
I've been carryin' my heavy load waiting for the light to come shining through.  
Someone like you makes it all worthwhile  
Someone like you keeps me satisfied.  
Someone exactly like you.

 

I've been doin' some soul searching to find out where you're at  
I've been up and down the highway in all kinds of foreign lands  
Someone like you... 

I've been all around the world marching to the beat of a different drum.  
But just lately I have realized the best is yet to come.  
Someone like you... 

Bea removes her head from Allie’s shoulder and kisses Allie’s lips slowly, lovingly. “I think we have just found our song.” Bea rasps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics to "Someone Like You" are written by Van Morrison.


	40. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and Debbie go to Harry's Funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. I know it took me a while to update. I hope you all have a great week.

Allie arrives at the Chinese restaurant early and waits for Maxine at the bar. Looking through her phone to see if she has any new e-mails or texts, she notices two text messages have come through. One message from Bea, which immediately puts a smile on Allie’s face and another from an unknown sender. Allie reads the one from Bea first.

Bea: It’s only been 36 hours and I miss you terribly...

Allie: I miss you too beautiful. Do you still want me to go with you to the funeral?

Bea: Yes, I do...if you still are okay with going with me. Come over after dinner with Maxine?   
Unless you want some time to yourself.

Allie: Definitely okay with going with you tomorrow and coming over tonight.

Bea: Great, I will see you later. Have fun. XOXOXO

Allie: XOXOXO

Allie looks at the other text, which reads “I will put you in your place, bitch.” Allie is shocked, wondering who would send her such a text. She felt very unnerved and when she suddenly feels a hand on her shoulder, she jumps. Maxine looks concerned as she says, “Hey Allie. I didn’t mean to scare you. What’s the matter?” Allie felt calmer just having Maxine by her side. “I received a text from a number I don’t know and it was threatening.” Allie shows Maxine the text. “I wonder who that could be from. Please try not to panic. It could have been sent to your number by mistake.” Maxine says but isn’t convinced herself. Allie has had client’s husbands threaten her before and Maxine wonders if the text is from one of them. “Let’s not focus on this for now, let’s have some dinner, okay? I think we have a lot to catch up on.” Maxine smiles and winks at Allie. They are seated quickly due to it being a Wednesday night and it wasn’t busy. They order their drinks and originally Allie didn’t want to drink but after that text, she orders a beer. “So, do you want to get a few dishes, soup and an appetizer and share or do you want your own?” Maxine asks, trying to get Allie’s mind off of the text. “Let’s order three dishes and share. Then you can take the left overs home.” Allie says beginning to feel a bit better. “Don’t you want some leftovers too?” Maxine asks. “I won’t be around to eat it.” Allie smiles shyly. Maxine raises an eyebrow. “Oh really…. Where will you be?” Maxine knows full well where Allie will be. “After dinner I am heading to Bea’s and then tomorrow is Harry’s funeral. I am going with her for support. I don’t know if I will be at my place Thursday night.” Allie says while blushing. “So things are good, I take it?” Maxine asks. The server appears at the table to take their order. Maxine orders for them both. “Things are great, more than I had hoped.” Allie smiles. “My mother loves her already and you know how guarded she was with Kim.” Allie beams. “Maxi, I know you haven’t been okay with the way things started between Bea and me. I am not proud of how close to crossing the ultimate line with a client I was but....I think you will love her too. Please give her a chance.” Allie says insecurely. “Honey, relax. I probably will love her. I’ve never seen you like this before. Yes, I was worried about how things started but, that’s in the past. I am so happy for you...I hope you know that.” Maxine places her hand on top of Allie’s and smiles warmly. “I do. But I also know how protective you are and I don’t want you to meet her with preconceived notions. Do you know what I mean?” Allie says wanting her best friend to keep an open mind. “I swear, you have my total support. Don’t worry so much.” Maxine says as the server places the food on their table. “Not to pry or anything but, I am curious. How has she been dealing with things on an intimate level? I mean she has never been with anyone besides her husband, especially not with a woman. I would think that sex would be difficult given what she has been through.” Maxine asks delicately. Allie waits until she is finished chewing her last bite. “Surprisingly well. If you didn’t know about her past, you would think she was very confident sexually. I didn’t expect our sex life to be what it is and without grossing you out, it is better than I have had with any past lover. She is uninhibited and very sensual. I don’t know if it is because I hold back and let her take control or what but, she is very much a top, lol. For lack of a better word.” Allie hopes that she isn’t being too explicit with her friend. Maxi chuckles. “That’s great Allie. God, I am so relieved to see you this happy. Those years with Kim sucked for me because I saw how she treated you and how unhappy you were with her. I prayed that you would find someone who treated you with love and respect. You deserve it Allie. You are such a beautiful person.” Maxine says getting emotional. She really loves her best friend and wants nothing less than the best for her. Allie’s eyes water and she tries to hold back the emotion but she is so grateful to have Maxine in her life. “Thank you Maxi. I wish the same for you, you know? I know that there is a wonderful man out there that will appreciate how kind and generous you are.” Now they are both crying. That doesn’t stop them from eating at the same time though. “Why does at least one of us end up crying when we get together?” Allie says laughing. Maxine laughs with her. “So, you are going to the funeral with Bea, huh?” Maxine takes a sip of her cocktail. “Yes, apparently Harry’s mother is a real piece of work and will probably give Bea a hard time. Plus, we are going to Bea’s house after and I think she may have a difficult time being back in that environment.” Allie says concerned about her girlfriend. “I would imagine. What is she going to do with the house? Does she want to move back in?” Maxine asks while spooning more Kung Pao chicken on to her plate. “She wants to sell it. Bea said that there are too many bad memories there and everything will remind her of Harry. She just wants a clean start. I can’t deny that I am thrilled that she will be staying five minutes away from me.” Allie smiles shyly. “There’s nothing wrong with you wanting to be close to your girlfriend, Allie.” says Maxine. Allie just nods her head. “Enough about me. Tell me what’s going on in Maxi’s world.” Allie takes a sip of her beer. “Well, I have a new client and she is driving me crazy. We’ll just call her Sonia. She is an entitled, rich and spoiled bitch. She complains incessantly about how everyone takes her for granted and that she always has to be the strong one. I hate listening to her because I know that her perception of her family and friends is probably exaggerated and I feel for them.” Maxine laughs impishly. “I don’t know how you can listen to people like that and show any empathy.” Allie shakes her head. “I charge them a lot.” Maxi says with a wicked grin. Allie laughs. “I’ve missed you Maxi.” Allie smiles widely.

Allie stops at her place to pick up some clothes for the next day and heads over to Bea’s house. She parks and walks up the steps. She is about to knock on the door when it opens and a beautiful redhead pulls her inside. “Well someone is an eager beaver.” Allie smirks. “I missed you….” Bea says and pulls Allie in for a tight hug. “I have been thinking about you all day.” Bea whispers in her ear evoking a low moan from Allie. “Why don’t you show me how much you missed me?” Allie murmurs in Bea’s hair. Bea releases Allie and walks her over to the couch. Allie sits and Bea straddles her lap. Placing both hands on either side of Allie’s head, Bea pulls her into a searing kiss. Allie is shaking, she is already very turned on. Bea raises her arms over her head so that Allie can take off her shirt and Allie complies. Bea isn’t wearing a bra and Allie swallows hard at the sight of her beautiful breasts. Tossing the shirt on the floor, Allie places her hands against Bea’s back and slides them up and down her smooth skin. Bea sighs at the contact. Bea gently guides Allie head toward her breasts. Allie kisses between them and drags her lips over the puckered skin, grabbing one of Bea’s nipples between her teeth, applying enough pressure for Bea to moan loudly and then licks it soothingly. Bea holds Allie’s head against her, encouraging Allie to pay more attention to her breasts. Allie licks all around her areola while kneading her other breast. Weaving her fingers into Allie’s hair, Bea lifts Allie’s face and kisses her hard and slowly. She nips Allie’s bottom lip and pulls on it teasingly. Bea tugs at the hem of Allie’s shirt which she lifts up and off of Allie. She massages Allie’s breasts through the fabric of her bra, feeling her hardened nipples. Allie moves her arms behind her and unclasps her bra, pulling it off slowly. Bea takes in the sight humming in approval. Bea looks her in the eyes as she pushes the hair away from Allie’s flushed face and strokes her cheek with her thumb. “I love you, Allie.” Bea kisses Allie tenderly at first and then with more of an urgency. Allie stands up lifting Bea with her and carries her to the bedroom. She lays Bea down on the bed and then slowly, seductively kisses her way up Bea’s body which is now shivering in anticipation. Allie kisses her softly and licks Bea’s bottom lip asking for entrance which Bea gives her. Their tongues dance together in a slow rhythm. “I love you too.” Allie says softly. Bea can see the emotion behind her words and knows that Allie means every word. Bea pulls Allie’s body to her, holding her firmly. Allie kisses her slowly. They are in no rush, expressing their love for each other through the lightest touch and the softest of kisses. Allie rises up, hovering over Bea and lets her hair fall on Bea’s face and moves along her body letting her hair kiss every inch of skin on Bea’s body. Bea sighs and moves her hands along Allie’s backside and up her back and into her hair pulling Allie into a slow, soft kiss. Bea licks Allie’s top lip and then pulls on her bottom lip. Allie kisses Bea’s jawline and Bea turns her head to the side giving Allie full access to her neck. Allie sucks lightly on her pulse point not wanting to leave a mark. Bea moans softly. The need for Allie is making Bea dizzy. Allie takes Bea’s earlobe in her mouth and caresses it with her tongue leading to more moans. She lets go of Bea’s earlobe and then kisses Bea hard. Hearing Bea moan has fanned the flame in Allie’s belly and she wants to hear Bea moan more. Allie moves down her body and pushes Bea’s legs up and over her shoulders. Settling between her legs, Allie barely touches Bea’s core with her tongue, just enough to make Bea gasp. Allie flattens her tongue and licks from Bea’s entrance up to her clit. Long, light licks over and over makes Bea moan loudly. Allie inserts a finger into her and focuses on Bea’s clit and moving in and out at a slow pace. “Oh my God, Allie. That feels so good.” Bea purrs. Allie watches the pleasure etched in her face. Eyes closed and lips parted, Bea has a beautiful flush on her neck and chest. Allie thinks Bea couldn’t be more beautiful. She takes her time, trying to give Bea as much pleasure as long as possible. Allie inserts another finger and lazily circles Bea’s clit with her tongue. Bea starts to gyrate her hips against Allie’s mouth and fingers. Allie loves that Bea allows herself to take as much pleasure as she can possibly get. After a while, Bea can’t take it anymore. “Faster Allie….please…I’m so close.” Allie increases her speed and the pressure on Bea’s clit.” Bea is moaning loudly, her legs are shaking and she has a vise grip in Allie’s hair. “Allie….oh my God….Allie….so close….ooooooooohhh.” Bea’s body goes rigid and she keeps her rhythm until Bea pushes Allie’s head away from her core. “Okay, okay…I can’t take anymore…” Allie smiles to herself. She moves back up the bed and kisses Bea softly. Curling up into Bea’s side, Allie rests her head on Bea’s stomach. “That was unbelievable Allie. I love the way you touch me.” Bea says while trying to catch her breath. “I love touching you.” Allie kisses her stomach. Bea strokes Allie’s hair and tries to regulate her breathing. Allie can feel Bea’s pounding heartbeat. They lay in silence for a while. “Bea?” Allie asks softly. “Yeah?” Bea murmurs. “Are you scared about tomorrow?” Allie asks. “I don’t know if scared is the right word. I think it’s more dread. I am worried about Debbie. She has been through so much and even though she seems like she is dealing with it well, I think she is hiding a lot of what she is really feeling.” Bea worries a lot about how Debbie is coping. “She does seem to be handling things well but I did when I was younger too. Are you still planning on getting her into therapy?” Allie asks hoping Bea does. “I do. I need to find someone for both of us. Maybe not the same person but we both need to see someone.” Bea says emphatically. “My best friend is a psychologist and can recommend some people. I will ask her for you, if that’s okay.” Allie offers. “That would be good. Thank you.” Bea feels lucky to have such a wonderful girlfriend. “No need to thank me beautiful.” Allie says warmly.

Bea calls Debbie in the morning to make sure that she is okay. “How are you doing baby?” Bea asks Debbie. “I’m struggling this morning. I think it’s finally hitting me that dad is dead. I have so many feelings. He was my dad and he did treat me like a princess but all of the while he hurt you and it makes me so angry. I talked about my feelings with Bridget a little bit and she assured me that what I was feeling was normal. She asked me to name all of the feelings I have so that I could process things better. It helped.” Debbie says with sadness. “I am also not looking forward to seeing grandma. She’s so mean, especially to you and that makes me angry too.” Debbie has never liked her grandmother. She really didn’t like her grandfather either, he scared her. She noticed that he scared her father too. “We will get through this together baby. It’s just a few hours and then you can decide if you want to have further contact with your grandmother. Are you up to going back to the house or do you want some time before we do that?” Bea asks worried that it may be too overwhelming for one day. “Can we decide after the funeral?” Debbie asks unsure of how she will feel after the funeral. “That’s fine. I am not sure I will be able to handle going there today either.” Bea answers honestly. ‘Ok, I will pick you up from Franky and Bridget’s around 1:30, okay?” Bea asks. “Okay mama. I will see you soon. I love you to the moon and back.” Debbie says and Bea can hear her sniffle. “I love you to the moon and back baby girl.”

Bea is dressed and is waiting for Allie to finish getting ready. She picks up her sketch pad and continues working on the drawing for Allie. Her mind wanders and she doesn’t hear Allie come into the living room. “Do you mind if we stop by Starbucks on the way to pick up Debbie?” Allie asks. Bea turns to look at Allie and her breath hitches. Allie looks incredibly hot in her black Escada suit. Underneath the jacket she is wearing a silk cream colored blouse with French cuffs. It’s appropriate for the funeral but yet very stylish and accentuates body despite it being a suit. Bea decides that Allie looks her sexiest in suits well, except for when she is nude of course. Allie notices Bea staring and laughs. “Really Smith? We are about to go to a funeral.” Allie says smirking. “I can’t help that you look gorgeous in that outfit.” Bea blushes. “You never answered my question. Starbucks before we pick up Debbie?” Allie is enjoying seeing Bea check her out. “Um, yeah…we can stop there.” Bea shakes her head a little, trying to get her mind back on track. 

They walk in to Starbucks and of course, Nikki is working. While waiting in line, Bea notices that Nikki spotted Allie and was ogling her girlfriend. When it was their turn to order, Nikki says hello to Allie and ignores Bea. She ignores her until Bea grabs Allie’s hand. Then Nikki’s attention was on Bea. Bea smiled to herself as she ordered for both her and Allie. Walking to the car, after they got their drinks Allie laughed. “What?” Bea asks. “Claiming me, are you?” Allie smirks at Bea. “Well, maybe she’ll stop hitting you now.” Bea smiles shyly. “I hope that didn’t bother you.” Bea wondering if she was being too possessive. They entered the car and while fastening her seat belt, Allie says “You can claim me all you want Bea. I am all yours.” Allie leans over and gives Bea a quick kiss.

They arrive at Franky’s at 1:45pm. Franky is at work but Bridget is there and invites them in. Bridget hugs both Bea and Allie. “Debbie is finishing getting ready. Can I get either of you something to drink?” Bridget asks warmly. Both women decline the offer but Allie asks where the bathroom is and Bridget shows her. “I am so glad that Allie is going with you today. I think it will be good to have her support.” Bridget smiles. “Yeah, she has been amazing. Thank you for letting Debbie stay with you this week. I hope she didn’t give you any trouble.” Bea is starting to get nervous and is picking at phantom pieces of lint on her jacket. “She was wonderful and I enjoyed spending time with her.” Bridget notices that Bea’s anxiety is ramping up. She takes Bea’s hand and squeezes it. “You will get through this Bea. It’s only a few hours and you have your two favorite people with you.” Bridget says warmly. “Two of my four favorite people.” Bea smiles. Allie walks back in to the living room. “Maybe having coffee wasn’t a good idea. I will have to pee every 10 minutes.” Allie says laughing. Bridget and Bea laugh with her. Debbie appears and asks why everyone is laughing. “Are you ready baby?” Bea looks at the dress Bridget bought Debbie for the funeral and realizes that she isn’t her little girl anymore. She is almost a full grown woman and Bea is so proud of her. “Yes, let’s get this over with.” Debbie hugs Bridget and thanks her for their time together and for the dress. The three women leave Bridget and head to the funeral home.

Bea parked the car and they head to the main entrance of the funeral home. Bea sees Monica talking to the funeral director and she feels nauseous. “This is really happening” Bea thought. She realizes that she has been living in a cocoon for the last 5 weeks. Monica spots Bea and Debbie when they walk through the entrance. She looks haggard but is dressed impeccably and her make up is perfect as usual. “Bea.” Monica nods. “Debbie, it’s so good to see you.” She puts her hand on Debbie’s shoulder but that is as demonstrative as she gets. “Hi Grandma.” Debbie says trying to smile. Monica looks at Allie and Bea introduces Allie to Monica. “I’m sorry for your loss Mrs. Smith.” Allie says diplomatically. “Thank you. I’m sorry but I don’t know who you are.” Monica says curiously. Bea wants to say that Allie is her girlfriend but she would say it more to annoy Monica than anything else and that wouldn’t be fair to Allie. Bea changes the subject. “Have people started to arrive?” Monica shifts her gaze from Allie back to Bea. “Yes, they are in the chapel to your right.” Monica says and takes Debbie’s hand and suggests that Bea go and greet them. Bea and Allie head to the chapel when they come upon Joey. “Hi Bea.” Joey says looking ashamed. “Hi Joey.” Bea says through gritted teeth. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” Joey nods over to a quiet area. Bea looks at Allie. “I will wait for you inside.” Allie says warmly and walks away. “I want to apologize for what I said last time I saw you. I figured out why you left and I am sorry I didn’t recognize what was happening all of these years.” Joey looks down. Bea wants to say all of what she thought but decided it wasn’t worth it in the end so she nods. Joey can see the internal battle in Bea’s eyes. “If there is anything I can do. Please let me know. I really am sorry Bea.” Joey says with a sincerity that makes Bea realize that he was truly sorry. “Thank you Joey. I appreciate it.” She puts her hand on his arm and then walks to the chapel. Bea finds Allie and they seat themselves in the front pew. The funeral director approaches Bea. “Mrs. Smith, I am Frank Pomilla. I am so sorry for your loss.” Bea thanks him. “We are going to start the service in a few minutes. Would you like to say any words about Harry?” Frank asks. Bea hadn’t even thought about speaking at the funeral. “No, I don’t. Thank you.” Bea looks at Allie and she just smiles gently. Debbie and Monica walk over and Debbie takes her mother’s hand. They all sit down. The reverend says a whole lot of lies about Harry. What a good man he was and how he was a pillar of the community. He was a loving husband and a doting husband. Bea felt ill. She wanted to get up and tell everyone what a piece of shit he was but she thought better of it. She didn’t want to embarrass Debbie and it wasn’t worth her breath. Monica gave a few words and spouted more lies about Harry. Bea began to tune out her voice. She anticipated the lies but what she didn’t anticipate were the tears that flowed from her eyes. She wasn’t shedding tears for Harry, she was shedding them for her daughter and for herself. She even dared felt the relief of him being out of their lives and that she was finally free. Allie squeezed Bea’s hand and Bea squeezed back. Shortly after, people came up to her and Debbie and offered their condolences. She put on her mask and thanked them. Surprisingly Debbie seemed unmoved by any of the service. This concerned Bea but she would bring it up at a later time. People headed to the cars to go to the gravesite and Monica expected Bea and Debbie to go with her in the limousine but Bea had enough. She did her duty and has kept up the charade for long enough. “I am not going to the gravesite. Debbie can if she wants to and I will wait but I am not going.” Bea stood in her resolve. Monica looked appalled. “I don’t want to go either.” She looked at her mother and Bea questioned the decision with her eyes. Debbie assured her mother with a look. “Figures, you never deserved Harry.” Monica said with venom. “You are right Monica. I never deserved him. Being beaten and raped for 18 years is something no one deserves.” Bea raises her voice. Monica is shocked. Both Allie and Debbie took Bea’s hand. Monica is at a loss for words. “I don’t know if Debbie wants to continue her relationship with you. If she does, I will support it but if she doesn’t I hope that you will respect her decision.” A tear slid down Monica’s cheek as she looked between Bea and Debbie. She had nothing to say so she walked away. Bea’s body relaxed and she wasn’t aware that she had tensed that much. Allie noticed the look of surprise and of satisfaction in Bea’s eyes. “Are you ready to go?” Bea asked Debbie. “Yes, please.” Debbie said. The three women walked back to the car. While putting on their seat belts, Allie asked if they wanted to go to the house. Both Bea and Debbie in unison said no. That was an obstacle for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what you all thought but I enjoyed episode 5. I won't say anything as to not spoil it for those who haven't seen it but I am curious what you think.


	41. A New Client

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is having a good week so far. Now that I am still catching up on work that I missed 2 weeks ago, I can't write there. So, I will probably only be posting twice a week as opposed to every day. Sorry. I know I hate to wait to read new chapters of my favorite stories.

Allie has an early start this morning. She had not stayed over Bea’s last night, thinking that Bea and Debbie should have time to process their feelings after the funeral without her. She misses the redhead more than she thought she would. The feelings she feels for Bea are so strong and she misses sleeping with Bea’s arms wrapped around her. This morning she had gone for a run to prepare her for what she knew would be a difficult morning. Her newest client will be coming in late this morning to talk about how her husband has treated her for the past 6 years. She has a five year old and is terrified of him. This is the hardest part of Allie’s job, listening to the horrible things that people do to one another. She knows that she will be drained by the end of the day but she had made plans with Bea and Debbie to go over to their house and cook dinner. She wants to spend more time with Debbie and get to know her better. She plans on sticking around if Bea will have her. When she gets back from her run, she showers and dresses. There is still time to go to Starbucks and get some coffee. She also wants to call Maxine and get referrals for a therapist for both Bea and Debbie. She is so glad that Bea is going to send Debbie to therapy and even happier that she is going to get some help as well. Therapy was very helpful to Allie and she hopes that Bea will benefit from it too.

Allie has hers and Grace’s coffee in hand and enters the cottage. “Good morning Grace.” Allie says cheerfully. “Morning honey. Thank you.” Grace takes the coffee Allie is offering. “You have Mrs. Stewart coming in at 10 this morning.” Grace says while looking over today’s appointments. “Yes, thank you. Not looking forward to this one. I don’t know that I have seen any other woman look so terrified of her husband before.” Allie frowns. “Speaking of shit husbands. How is Bea doing? I would imagine she is struggling with a lot of feelings concerning her husband’s death.” Grace asks with concern. Grace has grown fond of Bea and her daughter. “She’s doing surprisingly well.” Allie smiles. “Does it have anything to do with you?” Grace smirks. Allie is totally thrown off by the question. She has never mentioned her feelings for Bea. “I don’t know what you mean Grace?” Allie asks casually. “Oh don’t play coy with me Allie. I’ve known you too long and I know that something has changed dramatically since Bea walked through that door.” Grace is direct. “We didn’t start having a relationship until after I was no longer representing her…..you know that, right? You know that I have never done that before. Things did not progress until after Harry died.” Allie says defending herself and filled with shame. Grace’s opinion means so much to Allie. Grace can see it in Allie’s face. “I know what kind of person you are Allie. I know that you have integrity. I hope you didn’t think I was implying otherwise. What I am really trying to say is that I am happy for you. It has been too damn long since I have seen you happy. Actually, I have never seen you happy with anyone.” Grace says softly. “This is the first time I have ever felt so happy. Grace, she is everything I have wanted in a partner. She is so kind and loving. She doesn’t want anything from me other than to love me and that’s a first for me.” Allie smiles just thinking of how much she adores Bea. Grace smiles back and changes the subject. Allie is clearly sensitive about how things got started. “Well, you are going to need that coffee to get through today so go get ready.” Grace winks. Allie closes the door to her office and sits down at her desk. She calls Maxine and asks for referrals to two therapists, preferably that have experience helping victims of abuse. Once she has them, she calls Bea. “Hi beautiful.” Allie can hear Bea smiling through the phone by the way she responds. “Hi baby. What a pleasant surprise. I thought you had a client this morning.” asks Bea. “I do but she’s due in at 10am. I called Maxine and got the names of two therapists and wanted to give them to you now rather than tonight.” Allie explains. “Oh great, let me get something to write with…ok, I’m ready.” Bea takes down the names and numbers. “I will call them today so I can make appointments for next week. Are you still coming over tonight?” Bea asks hoping she was. “Of course, I already miss you and it will be good to spend some time with Debbie.” Allie misses Bea even more now that she hears her voice. “Ok, good. Hey….” Bea whispers. “What?’ Allie asks whispering as well. “I love you.” Bea says lovingly. “I love you too beautiful. I will call you when I am on my way to your house.” Allie loves how affectionate Bea is. 

10am rolls around and Mrs. Stewart is in the waiting room with her daughter, Emily. She is a very attractive woman in her late 20s. Allie takes a deep breath and walks into the waiting area to greet her. “Good morning ladies.” Allie smiles. Emily giggles at being called a lady. “Good morning they both say in unison.” Judy Stewart stands up. “Is it okay if I leave Emily in here? She has her tablet and there are movies she can watch while we talk.” Judy doesn’t want Emily to overhear anything but has no one to watch her. “I can keep an eye on her.” Grace offers. Judy looks at Allie. “Sure, that would be for the best.” Allie smiles warmly and then mouths thank you to Grace. Judy explains to Emily that she will be in the other room with Allie to have a grown up talk and to mind Grace. Emily agrees and starts playing a movie. Allie and Judy move to her office. Judy goes into detail about how she met her husband, Jake. He is a corrections officer at the county jail. He started off being incredibly sweet and charming to Judy as most abusers do. Things started to change after Emily was born and he was always on edge. Jake took out all of his anger and frustrations out on Judy verbally at first but the physical abuse started after they were married for a few years. He accused her of cheating on him and that she was going to take Emily and leave him. Judy was already afraid of him but he had gotten more twisted in his violence. He would actually torture her more than hit her. He urinated on her and did horrible things to her during sex. Judy had wanted to leave but she felt like she couldn’t because he began following her and putting trackers on her phone and car. He installed cameras inside and outside the house. She felt like his eyes were always on her every move. She finally confided in a friend about was happening. They devised a plan to throw him off her scent without being able to be detected. When his attention was diverted, Judy took Emily and ran to the Hamptons. The friend provided money and a roof over Judy’s head. There was a small window of time to get away from Jake and Allie is going to help her do it. When Judy calmed down from telling Allie everything, Allie hugged Judy and told she did the right thing and that she was going to help her get away from the bastard. Allie knew that she had to be strategic in how to keep Judy and her daughter safe since Jake is obviously clever. Allie walked Judy out of the office and said goodbye to her and Emily. After they left, Allie let out a deep breath she wasn’t aware that she was holding. “That bad?” Grace asked. “Worse.” Allie shook her head and went back into her office. She was definitely leaving early for the day.

Bea has had a productive morning. She made appointments for both her and Debbie for Monday and scheduled Debbie’s driving test for Saturday morning. She also finished Allie’s drawing. She was really proud of herself and hopes that Allie loves it. Bea decides to enjoy having the house to herself for a few hours. Debbie went to see Sky and wouldn’t be home until dinner. It’s after noon and she realizes that she is hungry. She makes herself some lunch and ends up thinking about Allie and how wonderful things are between them. Bea still can’t believe that she has an amazing and beautiful girlfriend. A couple of months ago that would have sounded ridiculous. But she does and she never wants to lose the wonderful feelings she has experienced since she left Harry. She knows that it will take a long time to shed the effects Harry has had on her all of these years but she is willing to do what it takes to do so. It will make her a better person, mother and partner in the long run. She is nervous about going to see a therapist but she promised herself that in the end it will be for the best. After finishing her lunch, she checks the mailbox. An envelope from the hospital has arrived, she opens it and Harry’s death certificate is in it. Seeing it brings on a series of emotions…sadness, anger, relief and then exhaustion. Now she can go to the bank and see what’s in his account and hopefully get any money that’s there. Also, she can find out if there is an insurance policy and hopefully be able to sell the house. She will definitely have to go by the house this weekend and get the mail at the very least. Bills must be piling up and she wants to make sure that the mortgage is up to date. Bea starts to get overwhelmed again and heads to her bedroom for a nap.

Bea is woken up by the phone ringing and sees the caller ID is Allie. “Hi baby.” Bea says sleepily. “Hey beautiful, did I wake you?” Allie asks, a little concerned. “Yeah, Harry’s death certificate arrived in the mail and it threw me off a little. I felt overwhelmed and took a nap.” Bea says still feeling overwhelmed. “Oh, I am done with what I needed to do today and was going to ask if I could come by soon but I can wait until later.” Says Allie. It is after 3 and Bea thinks she should go by the bank before it closes. “How about you come by at 5pm? I am going to head to the bank now that I have Harry’s death certificate.” says Bea. “That sounds great. Good luck. I will see you later.” Says Allie. They say their goodbyes and Bea gets dressed to go to the bank.

Bea enters the bank and asks for the manager. An older woman walks up and greets Bea. “Hello, I am Miriam. How can I help you?” Miriam smiles. “My husband has an account with you and he passed away last week. I want to see if I can withdraw the funds and close the account?” Bea said. “Oh, I am so sorry for your loss.” Miriam said looking uncomfortable. “Please follow me to my desk and I can help you there.” They both walked to Miriam’s desk and sat down. “Do you have his account number?” Miriam asks. “I didn’t even think about that.” Bea looks down, angry with herself for not being prepared.” Miriam starts typing on the computer keyboard. “That’s okay. Do you know his social security number?” Miriam asks. Bea gives her the number and verifies his address. “Do you have a death certificate?” Miriam continues typing. “Yes.” Bea hands her the paper. After Miriam looks over the document she tells Bea how much is in his account. She is floored. That son of a bitch acted like they were barely making ends meet. “There is $89,000 in the account and he also has a safe deposit box. Do you have the key?” Miriam notices that Bea looks angry. “I don’t but I will look for it. What if I can’t find it?” Bea asks. She definitely didn’t think this through. “I would have to look into it with my district manager but I think with the right identification and paperwork…we may be able to drill it open. First, try and find it and then we will deal with it later if you can’t find the key.” Miriam asks Bea for her ID. Bea gives her driver’s license and social security card. “I will get you a cashier’s check for the $89,000. I’ll be back in a moment Mrs. Smith.” Miriam leaves the office. Bea is in shock. She never imagined that Harry had saved that much money. His job paid him well but still…Bea was never allowed to use her money for anything he didn’t approve of first. Bea text Franky while waiting for Miriam to return.

Bea: Harry has $89,000 in savings! I am at the bank withdrawing the money.  
Franky: Why are you so surprised? He hid everything from you. That’s great Red. You deserve that money.  
Bea: This money will make moving here so much easier. I feel relieved. He also has a safe deposit box. I need to find the key. I am going to suck it up and go to the house this weekend.  
Franky: Do you want me to meet you there?  
Bea: I may go with just Debbie. I will let you know. Thank you for the offer.  
Franky: Any time Red. How did the funeral go? Did Monica give you a hard time?  
Bea: I got through it. She started to and I shut it down. I let her know who Harry really was.  
Franky: Good for you. I have to go. Love ya Red.  
Bea: Love you too.

Miriam walks balk into the office with the cashier’s check. “I just need to sign in a couple of places and then you are all set to go.” Bea signs and then takes the check. “I will be back with the key.” Bea rises from the chair. “Just ask for me when you come in to the bank. If there is anything else I can do, just let me know Mrs. Smith.” Miriam smiles. “Thank you Miriam.” Bea heads back to her car. Before she pulls her belt on she calls Allie. “Put something nice on, we are all going out for dinner….my treat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap was episode 6 excellent. I had goosebumps by the end. I can't wait to see episode 7. I still miss Bea. She was the heart of the show and the writers are not utilizing Allie and Franky enough. What did you think of episode 6?


	42. Feeling Closer than Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea goes to her house to find the safe deposit key and then spends the rest of the day with Allie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone has had a good weekend. The weather where I am has been beautiful and I got to sit outside with my laptop and write. Thank you for the continued support and interest in this story. Have a great week!

Bea woke up early to music being played in the kitchen. She looks at the time and laughs. Debbie is up way earlier than usual but Bea knows how excited she is to take her driving test. Bea walks into the kitchen and Debbie is dancing around while preparing breakfast. She isn’t aware that her mother is in the kitchen yet and bumps right into her causing Debbie to drop the bowl of eggs she was carrying. “Shit mom! You scared me!” Debbie exclaims and after a second realizes she swore in front of her mother and looks horrified. Bea laughs. “Sorry Deb.” Bea ignores the fact that Debbie cursed, she is 17 after all and Bea did startle her. They both look down at the mess of broken eggs on the floor and they are both laughing now. Debbie grabs a dish towel and begins to clean the mess up. “Nervous?” Bea asks knowing what the answer will be. “Scared to death.” Debbie admits. “You’ll be fine.” Bea says while grabbing new eggs from the refrigerator. “If I pass, can I drive us to the house?” Debbie asks hopefully. “When you pass, yes. Are you still up for going to the house? I can go alone if you want.” Bea asks not really wanting to go herself but knowing she has to find the safe deposit key. “Yes, I am going to go with you. I spoke to Audrey last night. Can I stay with her this weekend? I haven’t spent any time with her in over a month.” Debbie misses her best friend like crazy. “Yes, I can pick you up Sunday night.” Bea smiles. Debbie hugs her mother. They eat breakfast, shower and dress. Neither one of them looking forward to stepping back into the house that they lived in for 15 years. 

Bea drives them to the department of motor vehicles and Bea gets Debbie checked in for her test. The teenagers and parents are waiting outside the building for their turn to take the test. Debbie is pacing and Bea is trying to distract her from her obvious anxiety. “Debbie, are you still okay with moving to the Hamptons and starting at a new school senior year?” Bea asks, checking in knowing that they hadn’t really talked about the move in a couple of weeks. “What? Oh yeah, I am mama. It’s going to be fine. I like it here. I know you like it here too with Allie and all of that.” Debbie says distractedly. “Are you still okay about me being in a relationship with Allie? I mean because if you’re not…” Before Bea could finish her sentences, Debbie interrupted her. “Yea, mama. I really like Allie and you clearly love her. I have never seen you look happy. She is good for you and she is totally in love with you. I am really glad you have her.” Debbie says smiling. “I am really happy with her. I never thought I could feel this way.” Bea says while embracing her daughter in a hug. “Debbie Smith?” a heavy set, older Latina women calls out. Bea and Debbie walk over to her and the woman takes the paperwork Debbie is holding. Bea wishes Debbie good luck and watches as they drive away. Bea takes out her phone and texts Allie.

Bea: Hi baby. Waiting for Debbie to take her test. I don’t know who is more nervous.

A minute goes by before Allie responds.

Allie: Hi beautiful!! Debbie will be fine. Just remember when she passes, she will be bugging you endlessly to use the car.  
Bea: I never thought of that . What are your plans tonight? Debbie is staying over at her best friend’s house until Sunday night.  
Allie: No plans. I was going to clean up the house and then curl up on the couch and binge watch something on Netflix. Want to join me?  
Bea: In the cleaning….no. In the curling up on the couch with you, definitely.  
Allie: Damn. I thought I could get you to vacuum in a French maid’s outfit ;)  
Bea: You wish.  
Allie: Ok, text me on your way home. Maybe we can order a pizza?  
Bea: Sounds good baby. xoxoxox

Bea’s car pulls up to the curb and neither women get out of the car right away. Bea is nervous. Finally, Debbie gets out of the car with the biggest grin on her face and holds up a piece of paper with “pass” stamped on it. The woman gets out and congratulates them, heading off to the next car. “You did it Deb!” Bea hugs her daughter hard. “I get to drive to the house now, right?” Debbie is excited. “First we need to go into the building and give them the paperwork so you can take a picture for the ID.” Bea leads the way to the door to the building. By the time they arrive at the house, Bea is visibly anxious. “It’s okay mama. He’s no longer there.” Debbie places her hand on top of her mother’s which is gripping the steering wheel. “I know. I am being silly.” Bea is embarrassed at her uneasiness. “Let’s go in.” Debbie says while opening the car door. As they walk to the front door, she remembers that Harry’s car is in impound. This gives her an idea. She is going to give Debbie the car as a gift for passing her test. Bea unlocks the door and takes a deep breath. When they enter the house Debbie holds her mother’s hand. Bea immediately tenses up but she squeezes Debbie’s hand and gives her a brief smile. The house is a total mess. Dishes in the sink with flies circling around them, clothes strewn about the living room and a lot of empty beer bottles on every surface. Bea flashes back to the many times Harry beat her for not cleaning up his mess fast enough. “Harry’s not here anymore.” She thinks to herself. The goal of the day is to pick up all of the mail, find the key and have Debbie take whatever clothes she wants with her. The rest she will sort out next time they come back. Debbie walks off to her bedroom and Bea goes to her hers and opens the closet to grab the suitcases that are left. She brings the biggest one to Debbie and then goes back to her closet. She was going to leave all of her clothing behind but thought that maybe that was foolish. She goes through her closet and then the dresser picking out items that she knows that she will wear. Once everything she wants to take with her is packed she rolls the suitcase out to the living room. She grabs all of the mail that has been piling up on the floor under the slot of the front door. She tosses the envelopes in the suitcase as well. Bea looks around and is flooded with Harry’s voice and all of the horrible things he would say to her. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. “You’re worthless, no one will ever love you, you sound like a man, you’re ugly, and you can’t do anything right…” everything that Harry had said to her running around loudly in her head. She thought of Allie and how she tells her that she is beautiful and easy to love. She thinks about how Liz tells her that she is talented and about the customers who sing her praises. Allie smiling at her like she hung the moon flashes into her head. “No Harry, you are the worthless one, the ugly one.” Bea thinks to herself. She wipes away the tears and goes to Harry’s desk. It’s locked and Bea doesn’t know where the key is. She goes into the kitchen and finds the tool box. Taking the back of the hammer, she pries the drawer open. Inside she finds paperwork and three keys. One that looks very much like a safe deposit key. She takes all three. Bea makes a mental note that she will need to pick up Harry’s belongings from the jail and get his car from impound. Then she can have it titled in Debbie’s name. Bea brings the suitcase to her car and puts it in the trunk. She heads back inside and decides to clean the dishes and empty the refrigerator into the trash. When she sells the house, she doesn’t want to have to get the smell of rotten food out of it. That is of course, if Harry willed it to her. “I’m finished.” Debbie says wheeling the suitcase beside her. “Me too.” Bea takes a look around and smiles at Debbie. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Bea can’t assume that this wasn’t as hard on Debbie as it was on her. “Nope. Surprisingly, I won’t miss this house. I miss my friends but not necessarily living here.” Debbie smiles back at her mother. “Okay, let’s go then. I bet Audrey is excited to see her bestie.” Bea says knowing that Debbie has been missing her. Bea locks the house up and drops off Debbie. 

Bea stops by her house before heading to Allie’s to get an overnight bag and then to the store to pick up some wine and various snacks. She was heading for the checkout when she passed by the flower department. She smiles and grabs a beautiful bouquet of roses. Arriving at Allie’s house, she knocks on the door while holding the bouquet behind her back. Allie opens it and has a wide smile plastered on her face. “Well hi there beautiful.” Allie steps back to let Bea in. “Hi.” Bea says huskily, suddenly shy. “I brought wine and munchies for our binge watching.” Allie kisses Bea’s cheek and then leads her to the back of the cottage. Taking the wine and bag from Bea, “what’s behind your back?” Allie smirks. Bea presents the bouquet of roses. Allie blushes a little. “They are beautiful Bea, thank you.” Allie says shyly. “Just like you.” Bea smiles. It’s almost like they are on their first date. Both of them excited to see each other and feeling nervous. Allie goes to the kitchen and grabs a vase. While arranging them, Bea looks for the corkscrew. “Do you want to talk about how it went today?” Allie asks gently wrapping her arms around Bea’s waist. “It wasn’t so bad. I did hear Harry’s voice for a little while telling me I was worthless and such but I pushed through it and thought of happier things.” Bea said proud of herself. “Like what?” Allie asks curiously. “Like you.” Bea says with a blush creeping up her chest and neck. Allie kisses her lightly on the lips. “What about me, beautiful?” Allie looks at her with such love, Bea could cry. “How wonderfully you treat me and how happy I am that you are my girlfriend.” They both giggle still not being used to calling each other that. Allie kisses her again, this time lingering for a moment and then hugs Bea firmly. “I’m proud of you, you know?” Allie says sincerely. “I’m proud of me too. I am also proud of Debbie. Not only did she handle going back to the house well, but she also passed her test.” Bea beams. “That’s fantastic! Say goodbye to your car though.” Allie laughs. “I’m going to give her Harry’s. I just need to get the car and the keys back from the police or jail or whatever.” Bea pours them both a glass of wine. “That’s a great idea. It’s not like he’s going to use it anymore.” Allie says with a bit of anger behind her voice. Allie hopes that Harry rots in hell for everything he had done to Bea. “Shall we order a pizza for lunch? I kind of worked up an appetite from all of the cleaning I had to do all by myself.” Allie says trying her best to look pitiful. Bea laughs. “Oh poor you.” Bea teases. They order a pizza and after lunch, they browse through Netflix looking for something they can binge watch. “Have you seen the “L” Word?” Bea asks. “How do you know about the “L” Word?” Allie asks, raising an eyebrow. “Franky told me about it. She said it has some steamy scenes in it.” Bea smiles shyly. “Allie grins widely. “Yes, I have seen it and yes it has a lot of sex scenes. You really want to watch it?” Allie asks feeling a little aroused that Bea is interested in watching hot women have sex. “Yes, I am curious about it.” Bea’s face flushes with embarrassment at her confession. “Ok, but no getting handsy if it turns you on.” Allie winks at her. They pour some more wine into their glasses and curl up together on the couch. Bea loves Allie’s couch, it’s so big with wide seating so they can spoon each other when they are laying down on it. Allie starts the show. After the first episode, Bea is already aroused. She can feel her body tingle while watching the first sex scene and she can feel Allie’s warm body behind her. It has been a couple of days since they made love and Bea really wants to touch Allie. They watch the second episode and Bea’s body is on fire. She can tell Allie is feeling the same way because she pressed her body against Bea’s back during one of the scenes and Bea could feel Allie’s erect nipples. During the next episode Allie squirms a little and she rubs her hand along Bea’s backside. Bea was trying to control herself but it was getting harder. At one point Bea moaned at Allie’s touches and Allie moved her hand to Bea’s breast. Softly massaging it and occasionally swiping Bea’s nipple with her thumb. A jolt of electricity pulses through her core. Bea leaned further into Allie so that her backside was pressed against Allie’s core and she heard her gasp. Allie kisses Bea’s neck which sends shivers through her whole body. Allie’s tongue traced her neck up to Bea’s earlobe and she took it in her mouth and grazed her teeth against it. Bea was very turned on but didn’t turn around, allowing her need for Allie build. The sensation of hot breath on her ear and Allie’s fingers gently playing with Bea’s nipple was maddening. She couldn’t wait any longer. Bea got off the couch and extended her hand to Allie. Taking Bea’s hand Allie stood up and was lead to the bed. They stood at the edge and Allie wrapped her arms around Bea. They looked into each other’s eyes with a mixture of affection and desire. Allie kisses Bea softly and slowly. They were in no rush and both missed each other’s touches. Allie tucks a loose strand of hair behind Bea’s ear. “I’ve missed touching you.” Allie says sensually. Bea’s body responds, pressing her hips into Allie’s. “I’ve missed kissing you.” Bea rasps, her voice thick with desire. Allie kisses Bea again, her tongue softly caressing Bea’s upper lip. She parts her lips enough to let Allie’s tongue enter and Allie sighs. Their tongues dance together slowly for a long time. Allie’s hands are moving slowly up and down Bea’s back. Allie gently pushes Bea back on the bed and lays down beside her. Her head is propped up on her elbow looking at Bea lovingly. “Did watching two women have sex turn you on?” Allie asks while lazily tracing Bea’s breast through her clothes. “Yessss.” Bea hisses when Allie pinches her nipple not so gently. “It turns me on too” Allie says raising Bea’s shirt up enough to leave her stomach exposed. Allie lightly drags her fingers against the skin. Bea feels a hard tug to her abdomen in response to the touch and the way Allie is looking at her. Bea never thought anyone would look at her with such want. She can see it in Allie’s expression and feel it in Allie’s touch. It’s taking a lot of effort to not straddle Allie and have her way with her. Bea touches Allie’s cheek and raises her head to kiss her but Allie gently stops her movement. Allie strokes her stomach and inches her way up Bea’s shirt touching her over her bra. Bea moves up on her elbows about to unclasp her bra when Allie stops her. “No.” Allie smiles seductively. Bea groans but lays back down. Allie cups her left breast and gently squeezes and rubs it slowly. Allie can feel Bea’s nipple become hard under the palm of her hand. She cups her right breast and slowly and tortuously does the same. All the while Allie is looking into Bea’s brown eyes, watching as Bea feels the sensations she is eliciting. Allie’s hand moves downward slowly, over the button of Bea’s jeans then between her legs and she cups her core. Bea moans and her hips rise up to meet Allie’s hand. “No.” Allie says keeping her eyes locked with Bea’s. Bea licks her lips. The desire in Allie’s eyes is enough to make the pull in her abdomen stronger. Allie pulls the button of Bea’s jeans open and pulls the zipper down slowly. Her fingers slowly moving under the top of Bea’s panties, all the while looking into her eyes. Bea is shaking with anticipation. Allie’s fingers move lower until she gets to Bea’s lips. She dips her finger between the folds and feels how wet Bea is and smirks with satisfaction. “Please Allie....” Bea croaks. “Please what Bea?” Allie smiles, never once moving her eyes from Bea’s. “I can’t wait any longer….please touch me.” Bea begs. “No.” Allie says and touches Bea’s clit lightly. Bea gasps. Allie sits up on her knees. “Raise your legs.” Allie demands. Bea complies and Allie removes her jeans. Bea is trembling. “Take off your shirt and bra and then roll over.” Allie commands. Bea does as she is told. Running her hands up Bea’s legs to her backside, Allie kneads her cheeks. Bea lets out a long, low moan. Her hands move up Bea’s back and she lightly drags her fingertips over her skin causing a trail of goosebumps. Bea notices that Allie has stopped touching her and looks behind her. Allie is taking her clothes off and then straddles Bea, her core rubbing against Bea’s ass. Bea can feel herself get wetter. The sensation is lighting her on fire. Allie lays on top of Bea with half of her weight. Her erect nipples pressing into Bea’s back and she rubs her breasts back and forth rewarding her with another low moan. “Does this feel good Bea” Allie asks huskily. “God yes…” Bea whispers. Allie moves down Bea’s body kissing every inch of Bea’s back and backside. “Spread your legs.” Bea does as she is told. Allie pushes her hand underneath Bea and cups Bea’s core, her thumb stroking her entrance. Bea moans loudly. Allie is pleased with herself when she feels how soaked Bea is. She continues stroking and she can hear Bea’s breathing hitch. “I want you to raise your ass in the air and keep your chest to the bed.” Allie says and Bea does as she is told. Allie rubs Bea’s clit with her palm and then inserts a finger into her entrance. She moves in and out slowly. “More…please.” Bea pleads. Allie inserts another finger and continues her slow pace. Bea is meeting each stroke with her ass in the air. Bea can’t take much more. “Please….I want to come Allie. I can’t take much more.” Bea is panting. “No, not until I say you can.” Allie says firmly. Bea’s juices are dripping down her leg and her clit is rock hard. Allie knows that Bea won’t last much longer. She rubs and kneads Bea’s cheeks and inserts another finger. Allie quickens her pace and bites one of Bea’s cheeks not too lightly. “I can’t hold back any more Allie….please….” Allie increases the speed of her thrusts and with her other hand swipes her clit a few times. “Now you can come.” In a matter of seconds, Bea explodes. Loud guttural noises are echoing in the room. Allie can feel Bea’s inner walls contracting slow and hard and a gush of liquid rushes down Allie’s hand. Bea knees are trembling and she can’t keep herself raised anymore. “No more….” She begs. Allie slowly removes her fingers and Bea’s body crumbles to the bed. Bea begins to sob. Allie moves quickly over to her and encompasses Bea into her arms. She holds her tightly, rubbing her back while kissing the crown of Bea’s head. “It’s okay beautiful…let it out. I’m right here.” Allie whispers. Bea allows herself to let out all of the emotions she is feeling. Her inner walls still contracting from the incredible orgasm she just experienced. The crying is involuntary and she doesn’t fight it. She feels close to Allie in a way she hadn’t experienced before now. She leans up and kisses Allie softly. Her heart rate and tears slowing down. She is spent but feels more love for the woman holding her than she has ever felt. “Are you okay?” Allie asks searching Bea’s eyes. “That was incredible. I can’t even put into words how amazing that felt.” Bea says and then suddenly feels a large wet spot under her knee and her eyes go wide. “What’s the matter Bea?” Allie gets alarmed by the look on Bea’s face. “Did I…?” Bea feels the wet spot. Allie realizes what Bea is worried about and chuckles. “It’s okay Bea. You were really aroused and you ejaculated.” Bea looks at Allie with embarrassment. “It’s a good thing. I promise you.” Allie smiles lovingly. Bea’s embarrassment diminishes. “Have you ever done that before?” Bea asks curiously. “I have never really been that aroused with anyone until you.” Allie admits. Bea kisses Allie softly. Bea becomes very sleepy and eventually falls asleep for a while. When she wakes up, Allie is looking at her lovingly. Bea smiles. Bea kisses her gently at first and then hungrily. She wants to make Allie feel every ounce of love she feels for her. They make love for hours, until both are truly sated. 

It’s late in the evening and they are both hungry having burned off a lot of calories. After taking a quick shower, they decide to take a drive to Montaulk Point to walk along the beach and have dinner overlooking the ocean. During the drive over there they hold hands. Neither one of them willing to break contact from each other for even a moment. The closeness they feel is almost overwhelming. Allie has never felt this kind of intimacy before and relishes in it. “Your birthday is coming up. Is there anything special you want to do?” Allie asks. “I haven’t given it much thought honestly.” Bea says, her thumb stroking Allie’s hand. We could try and get Frankie and Bridget to go to a karaoke bar with us.” Allie says giggling. “How well do you think I sing with this raspy voice?” Bea giggles as well, “You could sing a Janis Joplin song.” Allie teases. “How about I surprise you…would that be okay?” Allie asks. “I would like that.” Bea squeezes Allie’s hand. They sit in silence the rest of the way to the beach. After parking their car and grabbing a blanket they walk toward the lighthouse. The sun is close to setting and they find a bench to sit on. Still holding hands, Bea leans into Allie’s shoulder. The day has turned out to be perfect. She feels satisfied with how she dealt with things and that she and Allie are closer than ever.

When they get home. Bea goes to the bathroom to put on her pajamas and freshen up. Allie checks her phone and finds another message from the unknown number. “I’m going to fuck your girlfriend.” Allie’s face drops. She debates on whether to tell Bea about the two messages. She doesn’t want to keep things from her but she also doesn’t want to alarm Bea. She puts the phone on the table and after Bea is finished with the bathroom heads in there to change. Allie finds herself shaking. It must be Mrs. Stewart’s husband. Who else could it be? Allie doesn’t know what to do. Should she go to the police? She needs to call Maxine in the morning and see what she thinks. Allie composes herself and heads toward the couch and snuggles up to Bea. She suddenly feels even more protective of the woman she loves and holds her tightly. Bea looks up at her lovingly and Allie is filled with dread. She will have to tell Bea, but not until tomorrow. Today has been too perfect and she wants to stay in their bubble just a little longer. Allie kisses the crown of Bea’s head and starts the next episode of the “L Word.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again the anticipation and dread of watching the next episode of Wentworth is upon me. I have the feeling it is going to be really hard to watch regarding Allie. I am at the point where I am beyond angry with the writers. The Ballie and the Fridget bubble has been burst. The Freak will avoid punishment and Allie suffers even more. What did the fans do to deserve such treatment? If it weren't for our obsession...the show wouldn't have lasted so long. Okay, done whining.


	43. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea is calming down and settling into her new life. Things are slowly falling into place for her but now Allie is the one unsure of the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As John Lennon put it so aptly. "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." I feel like this is the journey Allie and Bea are on. You can plan for good things but in the end, you have little control over what suddenly comes your way.

“It’s okay baby….shhhh….I’ve got you.” Bea is holding Allie, rubbing her back. Allie is having a nightmare and is crying out “No, leave her alone! Don’t you touch her!” Bea is trying to gently wake Allie up. “I’ll do anything, just don’t hurt her.” Allie is sobbing in Bea’s arms. “Allie…baby, it’s okay…shhhh.” Bea says soothingly. Allie must hear Bea’s voice. She opens her eyes and focuses on Bea. She immediately pulls Bea closer and hangs on to her for dear life. “Oh thank God you alright Bea.” Allie is still crying. “I thought I was going to lose you.” Allie breathes out a sob. “I’m okay baby. It was just a bad dream.” Bea whispers, feeling unsettled by the depth of fear Allie is experiencing. “Are you okay?” Bea asks searching her eyes. Allie’s breathing is slowing and the stream of tears have eased up. “I, uh…had a bad dream.” Allie is still trying to get her bearings. Bea laughs softly. “I can see that.” Allie draws in a long deep breath. “What was it about?” Bea asks. “My father was attacking my mother, hitting her and then trying to….” Allie takes another deep breath. “All of a sudden my mother was replaced by you. He was going to….hurt you. I couldn’t stop him and I felt so fucking helpless. I couldn’t protect you.” Allie breaks down and is sobbing uncontrollably. Bea envelopes her into her arms. She holds Allie tightly and waits for Allie to let all of the emotions out. She rocks her as she would if Debbie had a nightmare and it seems to be calming Allie down. Bea gently tilts Allie’s chin up so that she is looking in her eyes. “No one is hurting me now Allie. I am safe in your bed.” Allie calms down knowing that Bea is safe. “What do you think brought on such a terrible dream?” Bea asks. Allie looks away for a moment. She is debating with herself on whether to tell Bea about the texts. She doesn’t want to lie or withhold anything from Bea but she also doesn’t want to scare her. She settles for a half omission. “I got a threatening text on Wednesday and then again last night. I think it was from my new client’s husband. I have gotten threats from clients’ husbands in the past but this one scared me more than usual.” Allie looks anywhere but into Bea’s eyes. She knows that she isn’t telling Bea the whole story. “What do the texts say?” Bea asks now understanding why Allie is so upset. ‘I’m going to put you in your place, bitch.’ Like I said it wasn’t the first and it probably won’t be the last. If they can’t stop their wives from leaving them, I am the next best target for their anger.” Allie says hoping that Bea won’t probe further. “Oh Allie, that is awful. Are you going to go to the police?” Bea asks with worry. “I tried that once but there is nothing they can do, especially if the guy used a burner phone to send the texts from….I will be okay Bea. It must have shaken me up more than I realized and it manifested itself into a nightmare.” Allie tries to smile reassuringly. Bea kisses her forehead. “Will you let me know if you get anymore texts?” Bea asks. Crap. Allie doesn’t want to promise that she will. “If it escalates, I will tell you.” That was all Allie could commit to. “Why don’t we take a shower together and then go out for breakfast?” Bea smiles. “I need a minute to get myself together. I will shower after you.” Allie hopes that Bea won’t push or worry. “Okay baby.” Bea says and then kisses Allie lightly on her lips. Bea heads to the shower and Allie immediately checks her phone. No texts thank God. Bea calls Maxine.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Maxine asks immediately noticing that Allie sounds off. “I got another text last night from the same number.” Allie says with a lowered voice. She doesn’t want Bea to overhear her conversation. “What did it say?” Maxine asks. “I’m going to fuck your girlfriend.” Allie says getting upset all over again. Maxine sighs. “What should I do? Should I go to the police? I don’t see how they can do anything about it though.” Allie says trying not to start crying again. “I don’t think there is anything they can do with two texts. Did you tell Bea about them?” Maxine asks. “I told her there were two but I didn’t tell her what the second one said. In fact, I had an awful nightmare and woke up crying in her arms. I am worried that someone is going to do something to her Maxi.” Allie can’t hold back the tears any longer. “I don’t know what you should do right now. They are probably just meant to scare you not to warn you that they are going to really hurt you. “Girlfriend” may not even be in reference to Bea. They could be referring to your client in sarcasm. As hard as it is, try not to panic. Keep your eyes open and if it happens again, go to the police.” Maxine suggests. “Ok. If anything happens to Bea, I would never forgive myself Maxi.” Allie says with a sob. “Don’t think like that Allie. Let’s take this one step at a time. Okay?” Maxine says softly. “Okay. Thank you. I should get going. I don’t want Bea to overhear my conversation with you.” Allie says. “Keep me posted if anything new happens. Hopefully it won’t. Love you.” Maxine says with love. “Love you too Maxi.” Allie hangs up. 

During breakfast Allie is quiet. Bea is worried about her. “Allie?” Bea says trying to get Allie’s attention who seems to be a million miles away. “Allie?” Allie is suddenly pulled from her thoughts. “I’m sorry.” Allie offers a smile. “Are you okay?” Bea asks placing her hand on top of Allie’s. “I am. The nightmare brought up a lot of feelings and I am trying to shake them.” Allie squeezes her hand. “I’m okay. I promise.” Allie smiles. Bea accepts her answer. “Why don’t we take a drive and you can clear your head a little?” Bea asks. “I want to stay close to home…with you. If that’s okay?” Allie asks quietly. “Of course we can. We can watch the rest of season 1 and cuddle. If you can handle just cuddling while watching it.” Bea smirks suggestively. Allie smiles and the idea of holding Bea pulls her thoughts in another direction. “We’ll have to see.” Allie winks.

Bea walks into the bank Monday morning with key in hand. She asks for Miriam and waits for her in the waiting area. “Good morning Mrs. Smith.” Miriam smiles. “Good morning. I think I found the key to my husband’s safe deposit box. Can I try opening it?” Bea asks nervous with the anticipation of finding out what is in it. “Of course. Why don’t you follow me?” Miriam says and Bea stands up. They walk over to the boxes and Bea tries the key. It works. Miriam pulls the long box out and brings it to a table and chairs. “I will leave you to look through the box. When you are done you can find me at my desk.” Miriam smiles. Bea sits down and stares at the box. She doesn’t know why she is so nervous. Maybe it’s because she didn’t really know anything about Harry’s life outside the house. She opens the box and finds his will, insurance policy, the deed to the house, and several pictures of a young girl. Looking at the pictures, she wracks her mind trying to figure out who they are of. She doesn’t recognize her and feels confused. She puts them aside and looks at the will. Surprisingly, Harry left the house, cars and money in his account to her. She looks at the insurance policy next. Harry was insured for $500,000! Bea looks at the name of the benefactors and the percentages they get of the money. 70% goes to her, 15% to Debbie and 15% to someone named Elizabeth Jordan. Who the fuck is that? Bea never heard of an Elizabeth Jordan and why would Harry list her as a benefactor? Bea’s head is reeling with questions. She leaves the box empty on the table and heads to Miriam’s desk. “I am all finished. Thank you. You can terminate the rental of the box.” Bea says. “Ok, I will do that. Take care Mrs. Smith.” Miriam says with a soft expression. Bea leaves the bank and sits in her car. She is feeling mixed emotions. She stands to inherit $350,000 plus the proceeds from selling the house. She doesn’t have to worry about paying for college for Debbie and she won’t have to stress about money….these are all good things. As far as she was concerned, she earned every penny. But, she was blind sighted. Who is this girl, Elizabeth Jordan? She needs to contact the insurance company and sort this out. Bea tried to calm herself, she had a lot to do today and she needed to focus. She could think about Elizabeth later. 

Bea enters the police station and asks the officer at the front desk about how to get Harry’s car and possessions. She is told that she needed to go to the county jail to get his belongings and then to Nassau County Police Impound to retrieve Harry’s car. After getting the information, she headed to the jail. She was able to pick up Harry’s belongings which consisted of the keys to his car, his wallet and his clothing. She drove back to the house to pick up Debbie. They drove back to the Nassau County Police impound and paid to get Harry’s car out. Bea handed Debbie the keys since she would be following Bea to the DMV to get the title to the car into Debbie’s name. Debbie was excited to say the least. A few hours later and Debbie now owns her first car. She is beyond the moon. Debbie thanks her mother profusely. When they get back to the house, Bea calls Allie to see when she was taking time for lunch. They decided to meet in an hour. Debbie begged her mother to be able to pick up Sky and show her the car. But first she went online and got the car insured and added Debbie’s name to the policy. Bea felt a bit worried about Debbie driving by herself but she knew that eventually she would and tried to relax at the thought. She told Debbie to text her when she arrived at Sky’s and then again when she was heading back to the house or she would continue to worry all day. Debbie gladly agreed and took off for the afternoon.

Bea was emotionally exhausted from the activities of the morning. She still needed to contact the insurance company and the executor of Harry’s will. She needs to know who this Elizabeth Jordan is and how she is linked to Harry. But first, she needs to check up on Allie and see how her favorite blonde is doing. They had decided to meet at Charlie’s for lunch at 1pm so she needed to get going. She parked her car next to Allie’s who is always early and walked into the restaurant, spotting the blonde right away. When they made eye contact, Bea was rewarded with the most loving smile that melted her heart. She doesn’t think she will ever get used to or tire of that look. It is the first time in her life that anyone besides Debbie and Franky looked at her with such affection. Bea smiled back and they embraced in a quick hug. Allie placed a quick, sweet kiss to her cheek. “Hi beautiful.” Allie smiles. “Hi baby.” Allie looks down and smiles shyly. The hostess notices the exchange and smiles to herself. “Please follow me ladies.” The women follow the hostess to a table, they sit and accept the menus from the woman. “Enjoy your meal” the woman says with a wink. They are alone and staring at each other as if they are the only people in the room. The love and affection they feel for one another encapsulates them. Bea breaks the silence first. “How are you feeling today?” Bea asks tenderly. Allie blushes, not used to anyone looking at her with such love. “I’m much better. Especially being with you right now.” Allie winks. Bea giggles. They had grown so close this weekend and she hated being apart from Allie for even an afternoon. “How did it go at the bank? Was there anything significant in the safe deposit box?” Allie asks. “There was something interesting. The deed to the house, the will and his insurance policy were in there but there were also pictures of a young girl about 7 years old.” Bea says still feeling unsettled about the pictures and the fact that Harry named her as a benefactor in his insurance policy. “Wow, that’s weird. Do you know who she is?” Allies asks curiously. “No idea but he named her as a benefactor on his insurance policy.” Bea frowns. He left me the house and the cars in the will. The insurance policy was for $500,000 and I get 70% or $350,000. Debbie gets 15% and the girl gets the other 15%.” Bea says. “Wow, between money in his account, the sale of the house and the $350,000, you should be set for a long time. Aside from the shock of this mystery girl…how do you feel?” Allie asks curiously. “I am really surprised that Harry left me anything. I kind of assumed that he would have left everything to his mother and Debbie. All I could think of since I found out is that I deserve it after the hell he put me through.” Bea said with anger. “Damn right you do. I am so happy to hear that you won’t have to struggle for money. Now you can take me to Europe and have your way with me.” Allie teases. “I could have my way with you here in this country….” Bea teases back. “Ms. Smith! I told you I am taken by a beautiful red head and that you should refrain from hitting on me!” Allie says in mock offense. “Although I don’t know if I can resist your seductive ways. In fact, I have a place we could go right now and you could have your way with me in about 20 minutes.” Allie wiggles her eyebrow suggestively. Bea giggles. “So much for your resolve Ms. Novak.” Bea smirks. “Okay, okay. So what else did you do this morning?” Allie smiles to herself. “I picked up Harry’s car and now it’s Debbie’s. We got the title transferred into her name and it is properly insured. She is driving it as we speak.” Bea says suddenly getting nervous. Allie picks up on it and grabs Bea’s hand, rubbing her thumb soothingly on to the top of her hand. “She is a good driver. You have said so yourself. She will be fine Bea.” Allie smiles. “Statistically, most accidents happen with new drivers in the first year of getting their license.” Bea says nervously. “Bea, she will be fine.” Allie squeezes her hand. Bea accepts Allie’s words and moves on. “I still need to get a hold of the executor of the will and the insurance company but I figured I could do that after lunch. Unless you have no clients after?” Bea smiles suggestively. “Oh my God, what have I turned you into? You are like a sex monster!” Allie feigns astonishment. Bea looks around shyly. “Is it bad that I want to touch you all of the time? Is it…too much?” Bea asks seriously. Allie sees that she is genuinely worried. “Oh no beautiful, I want you all of the time too. I was just teasing. I love how you embrace your sexuality and definitely love being the center of your attention. Please never think that it is a bad thing.” Allie says just as seriously. “To answer your question….I have a couple of hours before Mrs. Stewart comes in…” Allie smirks suggestively. “If that’s the case, why don’t we eat something light…..quickly.” Bea smiles wicked  
Both women walk out to the waiting room together. Grace throws a knowing glance. Allie is still flushed from their love making. Allie looks down in embarrassment before noticing a nervous Mrs. Stewart and her daughter sitting in the room. “Hi Mrs. Stewart. I will be with you in a moment.” Allie says a little bit embarrassment. Bea notices how pretty Mrs. Stewart is and experiences a quick pang of jealousy which she shakes off immediately. Allie walks Bea to her car. Bea gets in and rolls down her window and Allie moves her head through and kisses Bea with a slow and passionate filled kiss. “I love you Bea Smith.” Allie smiles warmly. “I love you too…Alliecat.” Bea grins knowing that Allie hates that her mother told Bea her nickname. “I will get you later for that.” Allie says sternly. Bea drives off and Allie heads back into the cottage.

Allie invites Mrs. Smith into her office while Emily watches her tablet in the waiting area. “You sounded upset this morning. Did something specifically happen Mrs. Stewart?’ “Please call me Judy. It makes me feel old when you use my surname. Also, I hate being linked to that bastard.” Judy is clearly on edge today. “Okay….Judy. What has happened since we last spoke?” Allie asks curiously. “I received a text from an unknown number but I am sure it was probably from Jake.” Judy says nervously. “What does it say?” Allie asks cringing. “Your girlfriend is hot. I think I will fuck her after I fuck you.” Judy says and begins to cry. Allie immediately gets up and walks around her desk. She puts her arm around Judy’s shoulder and tries to console her. “You know it is him. He’s just trying to scare you and keep you on guard. Who do you think he’s referring to when he says girlfriend?” Allie asks. “I think it is you…” Judy says wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. Allie grabs a box of tissues and hands it to Judy. “Why do you think that? It may be your friend that is helping you.” Allie wonders. “It’s not my friend because he’s a male. His name is Will Jackson and he is a police officer. There is nothing going on between us other than friendship….He must have been watching me and saw you hugging me outside of the cottage.” Judy begins to sob. “Now I’ve put you in danger…..” Judy no longer speaking coherently is clinging to Allie for dear life. Allie is holding her but trying to find a way to maintain some sort of boundary. She feels for this woman’s pain and fear but there are professionally boundaries she need to make sure are in place. Allie actually feels uncomfortable and breaks the exchange suddenly and abruptly. She stands up and walks back to the other side of her desk. “Would it be okay if I talked to your friend Mr. Jackson? Maybe he and I can come up with a game plan to keep you safe.” Allie asks regaining her control over the interaction. Judy nods. She looks defeated already. “I’m sorry I have involved you. Jake knows that I have had attractions to women before and when he saw us hugging….and well, you being….It makes sense that he would think that there was something between us. Judy looked up at Allie rather boldly for someone just being broken down. Allie saw it in her eyes and instantly felt uncomfortable. She had to shut down whatever Judy was thinking right now. “Judy, there is no reason for Jake to think something is going on between us. I may hug a client for a moment when they are in need of temporary comfort. I do not sleep with my clients and I am in a very happy relationship with someone right now. So, there is no merit to his thinking I am your girlfriend. Please understand what my role in this divorce is. I hope that I have not given you any other impression.” Allie said a little harshly but she knew she had to establish clear and definite boundaries with her client. She will also have to remember not to touch Judy in any way again for her intentions not to be misconstrued. Judy straightened up and Allie could tell that she had hurt her feelings or pride. She’s a very pretty woman and it probably gets her far when she wants something. “I understand Allie. I am sorry if I misinterpreted your intentions. I need to get back to Emily.” Judy stood up and was heading to the door. Allie was behind her. Judy turned around slightly and said something barely audible “you know where I’ll be if you get tired of her.” Allie froze and watched while Judy took Emily by the hand and left the cottage.

Bea got back to the house early enough to call the insurance company. She made an appointment for the next morning. She is so thankful that Liz is allowing her the time to get everything taken care of. Bea has her first appointment with the therapist she called for tomorrow afternoon. Debbie’s appointment is on Wednesday. Things are certainly coming together and for once, Bea is not as worried about the future as she once was. There are still things to do but she has proven to herself that she is more than capable of handling them. Bea laid on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. Things were good. She and her daughter are safe and for once she is looking forward to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I saw spoilers for season 8 . I am starting to give in to the fact that unless I want to give up all social media, I will inevitably come across a spoiler for every episode of WW. I mentioned the anger I feel toward the writers of WW last chapter and it has increased since then. I have always been a huge fan of Bridget and what the writers are putting her through is making me want to throttle them. Franky is on my shit list and Allie is irritating me. For those that believe Bea is REALLY never coming back on season 6 episode 1. I am sorry to reveal myself as a denier but I am. I think she will be in Season 6 and then and only then will my heart truly repair after the torture of season 5.
> 
> Sorry for being dramatic.


	44. Therapy Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea goes to her first therapy session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For whatever reason, it has been hard to get motivated to write this week. I hope that I can go back to posting twice a week again.

Bea is running late for her appointment with the insurance claims representative. When she arrives at the office she is flustered, not used to being late for anything. Harry would never allow it. Sam Peters greets her and they go into her office. “I filled out the paperwork you sent me.” Bea hands it over to Sam. “Do you have a copy of the death certificate?” Sam asks. “Yes.” Bea pulls it out of her purse and hands it to her. Sam looks over the paperwork while Bea tries to formulate the question she has been thinking about since she opened Harry’s safe deposit box. “I noticed that one of the benefactors of Harry’s policy is Elizabeth Jordan. I would hate for her to find out Harry has passed away by a stranger. I think it would be better to hear it from me, only I don’t have her contact information. I was wondering if you could give it to me so I can call her.” Bea hated lying but she doesn’t know how else to get the information she needs. Sam looks up from the paperwork and gives Bea a knowing smile. “You didn’t know about her, did you?” Sam asks. Bea was about to act like she didn’t understand what she was talking about but decided honesty would be the better route. “No. I have no idea who she is. I found out about her yesterday. I’m sorry I lied but I didn’t think you would give me the information otherwise.” Bea looks down embarrassed. “It happens often Mrs. Smith. But, you know I can’t give you any contact information.” Sam smiles softly, apparently feeling for Bea’s situation. “I know. I am sorry I put you in an awkward position.” Bea says while playing with a pen on the desk. “I’ll tell you what, I can give you a piece of information that I have that might put your mind at ease.” Sam says conspiratorially. “She’s the same age as your daughter.” Sam says as if Bea was worried that he had been having an affair. Bea felt as if she had been sucker punched. Did Harry have another daughter? Who was the mother? Did he spend time with them without her knowing? It’s not that she was jealous but more that he lead a double life. If he was having an affair, he could have left her and Debbie and she would have been free earlier. What would Debbie think if and when she finds out? “Thank you Sam. I appreciate your help.” Bea tries to smile. “Well, all of the paperwork looks good. It will take 30-60 days for you and your daughter to receive a check. Do you have any questions for me? “No, thank you Sam for your help in both matters.” Bea stood up, shook Sam’s hand and left. 

Bea had taken less time with Sam than she anticipated. She has an hour before she has to drive to her therapy session. She decides to stop at Starbucks and have a coffee and mentally prepare. She has never been in therapy and is not really sure what to expect. She hasn’t been one to talk about her feelings and before Allie, she had only talked to Franky and Bridget about her life with Harry. Even that took years before she had really opened up. She knows that she needs to work out her feelings in order to truly be free of Harry. She needs to undo the damage he has caused to her self-esteem and confidence. After pulling into a parking space in front of Starbucks, Bea hears a notification that she has received a text. She looks at her phone and sees a text from Franky.

Franky: Nervous?  
Bea: Shitting myself.  
Franky: Charming. Well, good luck. I am proud of you, Red.  
Bea: Thanks.   
Franky: Don’t spend your entire session talking about how you are in love with me and how you can’t have me because I am taken.  
Bea: I will try ;)  
Franky: Let’s talk later about what we are doing for your birthday….  
Bea: Okay. Thanks for the support. Love you.  
Franky: Will you EVER stop hitting on me? ;)

Bea smiles and puts her phone in her purse. She walks into the coffee shop and it is surprisingly quiet. Nikki is there, of course. Thankfully Nikki is busy doing something that leaves another barrista to help Bea. “What can I get for you?” Bea smiles and orders a macchiato. She pays for the drink and stands to the side of the counter while she waits for her drink. Nikki suddenly notices Bea. Unfortunately, she walks over. “No Allie today?” she smirks. Bea really does not like this woman. “No, some people actually work.” Bea says and grabs some napkins and walks out the door. She decides to sit at one of the tables outside. Nikki follows her. “You know you are a lucky woman, right?” Nikki says sincerely. “I am well aware of that, thanks.” Bea grits her teeth. “I have been trying to get her attention for months and nothing. You turn up and in a couple of weeks she is in love. If you fuck up, I will be right there to help pick up the pieces.” Nikki says seriously. Bea laughs, she can’t help herself. This woman has balls, that’s for sure. “What makes you think I will fuck up?” Bea asks. “Let’s just say, women’s intuition.” Nikki smirks and walks back into the store. Bea is dumbfounded and a little unnerved by the whole interaction. What the hell was that about? Bea finishes her drink and heads to her appointment.

Bea enters the waiting room. The office is in a posh building and Bea feels out of place. The room is decorated in a contemporary style. There are paintings on the wall of children playing and scenes of interactions between family members. It evokes a sense of peace and calm. The furniture is lush and comfortable and Bea sits in an overstuffed chair. The magazines spread out carefully across the glass table aren’t tabloids but Psychology Today and Scientific. She grabs a magazine and tries to calm her nerves. She only waits for a few minutes before a short middle-aged woman appears and smiles warmly. “Mrs. Smith?” Bea puts her magazine down in the exact place she found it, keeping the orderly display intact. “Yes,” Bea tries to smile but now she is even more nervous than when she walked in. “Hi, I am Margaret. Please come in.” she says holding the door open invitingly. Bea stands up and walks through the door. “Please have a seat anywhere you like.” Margaret says with a warmth that has a calming effect on Bea. She chooses a plush, modern looking chair and sits down. Even the feel of the chair makes her nerves calm a bit. Bea looks around the office while Margaret grabs a notepad and pen. It is beautifully decorated and Bea’s tension almost dissipates. Margaret sits across from her and smiles. “How are you doing today Mrs. Smith?” Margaret asks warmly. “Please call me Bea. I’m a little nervous. I have never been to therapy before so I don’t know what to expect.” Bea says shyly. “I can see why this would be daunting but I can assure you this is a safe place.” Margaret smiles. Bea finds herself relaxing into the chair and feels far less intimidated. “Since you have never talked to anyone professionally, let me explain what we will be doing going forward, okay?” Bea nods. “The kind of therapy I do is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. That means that through talking about feelings and thoughts we try and change the way you think about things. If you react to a certain stimuli in the same way every time and that way causes you distress or unhealthy thinking…we work to change your reactions and thoughts about that stimuli. As an example, if every time you take a math test you think you will never be good at math and that thinking sabotages you before you even take the test, you will surely fail. By changing the thoughts around taking the test, you will be less likely to sabotage the test and hopefully will find more success. Does that make sense?” Margaret asks. “I think so.” Bea answers. “Good. How I conduct the sessions is simple. We talk about things that are distressing to you and how that distress manifests itself into different behaviors. Once we identify the cause and the reaction, you decide whether your reaction works well for you. If it doesn’t we work together to find a new way of reacting to these situations and hopefully change the way you think about them. But I want you know that this will be at your pace and we will work on what you want to work on. It is really up to you as to what you gain from our relationship. There is no pressure to talk and if our discussions get too overwhelming, we will stop and move on to something else. I won’t lie to you though. I will steer the conversation back to that subject when I think you are able to talk about it again.” Margaret smiles. Bea smiles back. “I understand.” Margaret gets up and walks over to a mini-fridge and grabs two bottles of water. Placing one near Bea, she sits back down and crosses her legs. “We talked briefly on the phone about what made you decide to call me but if you don’t mind, I would like to talk a little bit more about it.” Margaret grabs her pad and pen and sits back waiting for Bea to respond. Bea clears her throat. “I was married for 17 years to Harry. He verbally and physically abused me. Several months ago, I took my daughter and left and I was in the process of getting a divorce when he died. Although I feel like I am finally free from him physically, I know that in my mind I am not free…. I met someone since I left Harry and I am very happy with them. I want this relationship to work but I don’t want my trauma….my baggage to interfere and taint it. I also want to finally be the best version of me that I can be.” Bea lets out a long breath. Margaret wrote some things down and then smiled at Bea. “Good. It takes a lot of courage not only to leave someone who has been victimizing you but to face your feelings regarding them. I think you should be really proud of yourself.” Margaret said softly. Bea looked down. “I am not sure how courageous I am. I should have left him sooner.” Bea silently berating herself. “You weren’t strong enough to leave before. You clearly have found the strength now.” Margaret pushed. “What happened that pushed you to leave?” Margaret asks. Bea didn’t answer right away. “He almost killed me and I knew if I didn’t leave him then, he would have succeeded the next time.” Bea grimaced at remembering the last beating. “Plus, I had to do it for my daughter, Debbie. He had never hit her but there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t. I also didn’t want her to witness any more violence than she already has.” Bea says picking at a thread on the arm of the chair. “How old is your daughter?” Margaret asks. “She just turned 17. I was trying to wait until she graduated from high school and left for college before leaving him. I didn’t want to put her through any more stress but I knew I couldn’t wait after she saw me in the hospital that day.” Bea starts to cry. Margaret reaches over to the coffee table, grabs a box of tissues and hands it to Bea. Bea pulls one out and blots her eyes. “I love Debbie so much and I totally fucked up as her mother.” Bea cries harder. Margaret waits patiently for Bea to be able to speak again. “Are you and Debbie close?” Margaret asks. “Very close. She is such a great kid despite not having much of a childhood. She is very kind and compassionate and worries too much about me. I should be the one worrying, not her.” Bea says with embarrassment. “She has been so strong through the last few months and even supports my relationship with…. Allie….” Bea is worried that Margaret will have a problem with her being in a relationship with a woman. “Why did you hesitate to say her name? Is it because you are in a relationship with a woman?” Margaret asks. Bea can’t quite make eye contact with Margaret and feels like she should be ashamed. “Yes. I worry that people are going to look at me as if I am a deviant or something.” Bea still doesn’t look at her. “Bea, look at me.” Margaret gently requests. Bea looks up and at her. “Love is love. I have no issues with anyone being in a same sex relationship. Even if I did, who am I to judge? You clearly feel for Allie and considering the little you’ve told me….she must be quite special for you to even begin to entertain the thought of being in an intimate relationship with anyone.” Bea smiles at the thought of Allie. “She is so wonderful. She’s incredibly sweet and patient.” Margaret smiles. “Does she know about Harry and what you have been through?” Margaret asks. Bea wants to tell her how Allie and she met but she doesn’t want Margaret to judge Allie. She knows that in order to have therapy really work for her, she needs to be honest and not hold back but she doesn’t want to talk about it today. Margaret senses Bea holding back but doesn’t say anything. “Allie knows everything. I have told her in detail and yet she still wants to be with me.” Bea says wondering how she got so lucky. “Why do you think that she wouldn’t want to be with you knowing your past? You’ve done nothing wrong.” Margaret asks quietly. Bea starts crying again. Margaret is not surprised by Bea’s reaction to the question. She knows that Bea feels like she is unworthy and that somehow she deserved the abuse she received. After a while Bea calms down enough to speak again. “Allie could find someone who is not so fucked up. Someone who isn’t so fragile and broken.” Bea whispers. “Does Allie seem like she sees you that way?” Margaret asks. Bea is thoughtful for a moment and she realizes that no, Allie doesn’t seem to think of her that way at all. “No, I guess not.” Margaret writes some more on her pad. “This is an example of what I mean about changing how you think about things. You think you are damaged, fragile and broken so therefore everyone else must see you that way. That would be a good place to start next week. Hopefully, we can change the way you think about yourself.” Margaret grabs her appointment book and looks through to the following week. “Do you want to come back next week?” Margaret asks. Bea never considered that she had a choice once she sat through the session. If Margaret wasn’t a good fit for her then she could say no but she likes Margaret and the way she listens to her. “Yes, I am off on Monday if that works.” Bea feels hopeful that one day she will feel good about herself. “Are mornings best for you? I have a 10am available.” Margaret looks up from her book at Bea. “That would be good.” Bea stands up and hands Margaret a check for the session. “Thank you.” Bea smiles. “You did really well today. Have a good week.” Margaret says while escorting her to the waiting room. Bea walks out of the building feeling lighter than when she walked in. She did feel proud of herself. Bea checked her phone to see if anyone called or text her while she was at her appointment. Debbie had sent a text wishing her luck with the session. It was getting close to lunch so Bea decides to head to Sonic and grab lunch for both her and Allie as a surprise.

With a tray of drinks and a bag full of burgers, Bea opened the door to the cottage. When she stepped in she saw Judy’s hand on Allie’s lower back and Judy’s daughter handing Allie flowers. Bea’s heart sank. She tried not to show it but she could see a small smile around Judy’s mouth. Allie stepped back away from Judy’s touch. Bea looked at Grace and she was wearing a look that said “don’t ask me.” Allie breaks her attention away from the little girl when she sees Judy turn her head. Bea and Allie make eye contact and then Allie smiles when she sees what’s in the bag. “Like I was saying, Emily wanted to bring you flowers and insisted that she give them to you right away.” Judy says to Allie. “Thank you Emily. They are very pretty and very thoughtful.” Allie looks back at Judy. “You can’t just pop in without an appointment or a phone call letting me know that you are coming by. I have Mr. Jackson’s phone number and I will contact him this week. We have no further business until then.” Allie says sternly and very quietly although Bea could hear most of what she said. Judy nods her head. “Okay, I’m sorry. I look forward to hearing the outcome of your conversation with Will. Come on Emily, let’s leave the nice ladies alone.” Judy says. “Bye Allie!” Emily yells even though she is a foot away from Allie. Allie laughs, “Bye Emily. Thank you for the flowers.” Emily yells “you’re welcome.” They leave and Bea has Allie’s full attention now. “What’s in the bag Bea?” Allie wiggles her eyebrows. Bea ignores her for a moment and says hello to Grace. Grace laughs, she knows that Sonic wins all. “I thought I would surprise you with lunch. You haven’t eaten anything yet, have you?” Bea asks. “Nope, but I am starving now.” They all laugh. “I brought you a burger too Grace.” Bea says while pulling it out of the bag and then setting a drink on the desk. “Thank you Bea, that was very thoughtful.” Grace smiled warmly. “Shall we eat outside or in the back?” Allie asks while shoving her hand in the bag looking for a french fry. “Let’s eat in the back.” Allie nods and they both go to the back of the house. Bea puts the bag down on the kitchen table and turns to Allie and takes her in her arms. She kisses her slowly and softly. “Mmmmm, I missed you too.” Allie says sensually. Bea can feel a flutter in her stomach. “So what did Mrs. Stewart want other than to bring you flowers?” Bea asks trying to be nonchalant. “She wasn’t giving me flowers, Emily was.” Allie corrects her sensing Bea was concerned by the gesture. “That was sweet.” Bea takes a bite of her burger. Allie changes the subject. So are Frankie and Bridget coming here to celebrate your birthday? I have Saturday planned.” Allie grinned. “Franky text me earlier and wants to discuss it. I am going to see if they want to meet us somewhere for dinner. What do you think?” Bea asks catching Allie with a mouthful of fries. Allie doesn’t answer until she is finished chewing. Bea laughs at her because as ladylike as Allie normally is, that all goes out the window when it comes to her favorite burgers. “I think that sounds good beautiful.” Allie smiles. “So what do you have planned for me on Saturday?” Bea asks coyly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Allie teases. “Oh, I forgot. My mother wants you to come over for lunch on Sunday to celebrate your birthday if you are free. She said you can bring Debbie too” Allie smiles more to herself. It makes her so happy that her mother really likes Bea. “I have no plans. That is really sweet of her.” Bea is still surprised at how Ellen treats her like a daughter. “Great. My mother will be so happy to see you.” Allie grabs the wrappers from lunch and tosses them in the garbage. She washes her hands and then stands in front of a sitting Bea. “How is it every time I see you I feel more in love with you?” Allie asks as she gently pulls Bea up from the chair and wraps her arms around Bea’s waist. “I don’t know but the Sonic certainly helps.” Bea teases. Allie looks very serious for a moment. “I mean it Bea. I’ve never felt this before. I hope you know that whatever crush Mrs. Stewart has on me…I am not interested.” Bea is surprised that Allie picked up on Bea’s concern…no jealousy… she is feeling. “Thank you for saying that Alliecat.” Bea smiles looking at Allie through misty eyes. “I love you so much. I really want to show how much but I am so full.” Allie laughs. “If you aren’t busy tonight, you can show me just how much later.” Bea murmurs, kissing Allie softly, seductively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have re-watched episode 8 three times and I still get teary eyed watching Bridget's downward spiral. Although I appreciate that the writers have shown Bridget to be more of a multi-dimensional character, I hate the idea that she left. I am hoping that she will return before the end of the season and also that she will be in season 6. As far as Allie and Franky go....sigh....thank god Allie stopped things before they went any further. I was beginning to think that Allie has gotten over the loss of Bea already. Four more episodes to go and hopefully the f***ing writers will bring Bea back for season 6. I know, I know. I am delusional.


	45. Let Me Show You How Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debbie has her therapy session and Frankie talks to Jake about Judy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - not a good idea to read at work.

Later that evening, Allie picks Bea up and they go into town for ice cream. Allie gets a scoop in a cup and Bea gets a cone. They sit at one of tables outside the shop. “How did your session go today?” Allie asks after taking a spoonful of her ice cream. “It went really well. I like Margaret, she is easy to talk to and I feel like I can get a lot out of therapy.” Bea says and licks her ice cream. Allie’s eyes follow Bea’s tongue with her eyes and feels herself getting turned on. “I’m so happy it went well. When are you seeing her next?” Allie asks trying to focus her attention on the conversation. Bea notices Allie’s attention is on her mouth and decides to have some fun with with her, licking the ice cream seductively. Allie swallows hard. The conversation wanes and they were both more focused on the warmth they are feeling in their bodies. After a few minutes their eyes locked. “Do you remember what you said earlier about showing me how much you love me?” Bea asks and then licks the cone slowly. Allie licks her lips. “Yes, I do.” Allie’s face is flushed with arousal. “I think now would be a good time to convince me of how you feel.” Bea smiles. Allie stands up and grabs Bea’s hand and leads her toward the car not wanting to waste a single minute. They are barely in the cottage when Allie pushes Bea up against the wall. Her hands and mouth are all over her. “I want you so much.” Allie says breathlessly. “I want you too...always.” Bea moans as Allie kisses her neck. Lifting Bea’s shirt up and off, her hands immediately cup Bea’s breasts. Her nipples are erect and Allie gently bites one over her bra. Bea moans loudly and removes her bra eager to feel Allie’s warm mouth against her breasts. Allie pays attention to both of them for a while and then drops to her knees. She leaves a trail of open mouthed kisses down Bea’s stomach driving her wild. Unbuttoning Bea’s jeans and pulling down the zipper, Allie slides her girlfriend’s pants down to her ankles. Bea’s breathing becomes heavy with anticipation. Allie slides her hands down Bea’s sides, over her hips and down her legs, helping her step out of her pants. Moving her way up, Allie kisses all around Bea’s core and up to her stomach. Bea is moaning and her hips move on their own accord toward Allie’s mouth. Bea lifts her leg and places it over Allie’s shoulder. Allie looks up lovingly at her and then at her mound. Bea is very wet and her juices glisten against the light. Allie kisses Bea’s core gently. Bea’s head falls back enjoying this new position. Allie licks up and down and inserts a finger inside her making Bea moan. Weaving her hands into Allie’s hair, she holds Allie’s mouth against her core. Allie licks and sucks Bea’s clit as she moves her finger in and out of her entrance, adding a second finger. “You taste so good.” Allie says while moaning. Bea’s leg is quivering as she steadies herself by holding on to Allie’s head. She is relentlessly licking Bea’s clit and she adds a third finger. Bea can feel her walls tighten around Allie’s fingers and she knows that she is going to come soon. Allie reaches up to Bea’s breast with her free hand and rolling her nipple between her fingers. Bea lets out a loud moan. Allie can tell Bea’s close. She increases the speed, thrusting her fingers inside Bea who is having trouble keeping herself upright. “I am so close Allie. Please don’t stop…mmmm… just like that…it feels so fucking good.” The intensity of the pleasure Bea feels is more than she ever felt before in all of the times they have made love. She doesn’t want to come yet because it feels so good but her body has a mind of its own and she comes with such ferocity it makes her dizzy. Allie slows down her thrusting and lightens the pressure of her tongue on Bea’s clit as the orgasm starts to subside. When Allie feels that Bea has calmed a little, she removes her fingers and stands up. Bea immediately wraps her arms around Allie’s waist and kisses her with an unbridled passion. When Bea pulls back she looks into her lover’s eyes and can see all of the emotions Allie is feeling. Allie really did show her how much she loves her. She feels like she is on a high and all she wants to do is make Allie feel the same way she just felt. Taking Allie’s hand, Bea leads her to the bedroom. Standing in front of each other beside the bed, Bea strokes Allie’s cheek gently. “I am so in love with you Allie. I never thought I could feel this way. I never even knew what love felt like other than the kind of love I feel for Debbie.” Bea confesses. Allie has tears in her eyes. “Believe me, I have never known what this kind of love felt like either... before you. With your love, my senses feel heightened. Your touch, the taste of your lips, the smell of your skin, and the sound of your voice entrances me.” Allie says and then kisses Bea softly and slowly. They kiss like that for a long while until Bea breaks the kiss and whispers in Allie’s ear. “What do you want me to do to you baby?” Bea’s voice mixed with her hot breath sends shivers down Allie’s spine. “Do you remember when I asked you to…straddle my face?” Allie asks with a blush spreading from her chest up to her cheeks. “Yes, it was incredible. Would you like me to do that to you?” Allie nods her head. Bea crawls on the bed and lays down. Allie crawls on the bed after her and straddles Bea’s head making sure not to put her full weight down. After they both get comfortable, Bea holds on to Allie’s hips and kisses her core the same way she would kiss Allie’s mouth, soft and slow. “Mmmmm that feels so good Bea.” Allie moans while holding on to the head board. Bea takes her time licking every inch of her. Allie is very aroused but not in a desperate way. She likes that Bea is taking her time building her up. She can feel the love from Bea even though she can’t see her face. Bea is enjoying herself immensely, feeling empowered by this position. She now understands why Allie wanted to make love like this to her. She feels like she could lay there all day just enjoying the taste of Allie and hearing her moan. Allie can feel her orgasm build. It is slow and the pull in her stomach is growing stronger. She tries to will it away because what Bea is doing to her is so pleasurable and she doesn’t want the feeling to end but her body betrays her and she knows she won’t last much longer. Bea knows that Allie is going to come soon by the frequency and length of her moans. Allie’s legs are quivering and she’s having a hard time staying in this position. The build-up is delicious and suddenly she feels a hard pulling in her stomach. She feels her walls clenching and not long after she is coming so hard. It lasts for what feels like minutes. The intensity is nothing that she has felt before. Her walls are contracting hard and slow. She lets out a low guttural moan. “Oh god Bea.....oh my god. Please don’t stop. I feel like I could come again. Bea wasn’t going to stop for anything. She kept up the same pace and rhythm, not changing anything she was doing and Allie came for a second time. This time she ejaculated and her juices moved down Bea’s chin. Allie couldn’t take it anymore and tried to get off of Bea but she wasn’t having it. She continued her relentless attack on Allie and inserted one finger and then another one. Thrusting slowly in and out and after a while, Allie came again. When Allie got her bearings she got off of Bea’s face and dropped like dead weight on to the bed. “Oh my god Bea, that was so fucking incredible.” Bea wiped her chin and neck and rolled on to her side, kissed Allie with all of the love she felt for her. Smiling widely, Bea was proud of herself to say the least. Allie couldn’t move she was so spent. She snuggled into Bea’s body and wrapped her arm and leg over her side. “I love you so fucking much.” Allie smirked. “I love you so fucking much.” Bea said pulling Allie in tightly and they both fell asleep.

When they woke, they were both hungry after their love making session. Allie cut up some fresh fruit and they lay on the bed feeding it to each other. “You never answered me, did you make another appointment to see Margaret?” Bea held out a piece of watermelon toward Allie’s mouth which she took seductively, her mouth grazing Bea’s fingers. “I am seeing her on Monday.” Bea said suddenly feeling aroused again. What am I, an animal? We just had mind blowing sex and I want more, Bea thought to herself. “Debbie has her appointment tomorrow, right?” Allie asks while feeding Bea a piece of cantaloupe. “Yes, she is seeing a Mrs. Smith oddly enough.” Bea leans in and kisses Allie. Her tongue licks a trail of watermelon juice in the corner of Allie’s mouth. Bea can barely see the blue of Allie’s eyes, the desire is evident. They kiss again only with more passion. Bea takes the bowl away from Allie and sets it on the night stand. They kiss passionately and Bea straddles Allie. They make love again until they both are too tired to stay awake.

Bea wakes up to the sunlight peering through the window and feels for Allie. She is not in the bed and the sheets are cool where Allie should be. Bea figures that her girlfriend went for a run. It’s still early and Bea has time before she needs to get home. She wants to accompany Debbie to her appointment even if she isn’t going into the session. She gets out of bed and heads to the kitchen intending on having breakfast waiting for Allie when she gets back. She finds yogurt, granola and blueberries and makes up two bowls. She can hear the front door unlock and then the door to the back unlock and open. “Hi beautiful.” Allie smiles. Her skin has a fine sheen of sweat and Bea finds herself aroused looking at her. “Hi baby. Good run?” Bea walks over and kisses her on the cheek. “Yes, but it’s hot as fuck outside already.” Allie sets her ipod and keys down on the counter. She notices that there is breakfast waiting for her and grabs a bowl and a spoon. Taking a spoonful, she goes to feed Bea. “Oh no you don’t. You know where that will lead.” Bea pulls away laughing. “Want to take a shower with me?” Allie wiggles her eyebrows. “Sure but no hanky panky. I need to make sure I am home in time to pick up Debbie.” Bea says before taking a spoonful of her breakfast.

Once they are both clean and dressed, they walk into the waiting room. Grace is just walking in and Bea’s face blushes. “Good morning.” Grace smiles coyly at both of them. Grace is so happy for both of them. It was such a relief to see Allie finally happy. They both say good morning to Grace at the same time and giggle. “Are you going to work after Debbie’s appointment?” Allie asks. “Yes, I need to get back to a normal schedule. Liz has been very supportive and I don’t want to take advantage of that.” Bea looks at the time. “I’ve got to go. I will talk to you later?” Bea asks. “Of course beautiful. Let me walk you to your car.” Allie follows Bea to the door. “Bye Grace. Have a good day.” Bea smiles. “Bye honey.” Grace smiles back. At the car, Allie hugs Bea tightly and whispers in her ear. “I hope you have a great day. I will be thinking about nothing but you and last night.” Allie pulls back and winks. Bea kisses her softly. “Me too. I love you.” 

Bea walked into the house and called out to Debbie. “Hey Deb, are you almost ready?” Bea walked over to Debbie’s room. Debbie is sitting on her bed and was pale. “What’s the matter baby?” Bea puts her arm around Debbie’s shoulder. “I’m okay. Just nervous. How was it for you yesterday?” Debbie looks at her mother. “I was really nervous too but Margaret was really good at making me feel comfortable. Hopefully Mrs. Smith will do the same for you.” Bea smiled and rubbed Debbie’s back soothingly. “You are going to be okay Debbie. I promise you. If you don’t like talking to her, we can find someone else. This is meant to help you, not terrify you.” Bea made Debbie look at her. “I know mama. I will be fine. I just got spooked for a moment. Are you sure you don’t want to sit in the room with me?” Debbie asked in a way that reminded Bea of when Debbie was little and she went to the doctor. “I don’t think it would be the best thing for you for me to sit in on your session. I want you to have a place and a person where you can talk about anything without feeling like you have to hold back.” Bea said softly. “I know but I don’t want to hide anything from you.” Debbie said honestly. “It wouldn’t be hiding anything from me. You are entitled to your privacy and I don’t want to feel like you can’t say something because you think I will get mad or hurt.” Bea squeezed Debbie’s shoulders. “Alright, let’s get going or we’ll be late.” Bea stood up. Debbie got up and hugged her mother for a while. “Okay, let’s go and then you’ll feed me right?” Debbie gave her mother her best pathetic face. Bea laughed and ruffled the top of Debbie’s head.

Mrs. Smith’s office is in Sag Harbor. The row of houses that were converted into offices and stores are quaint and Bea had forgotten how much she loved the area. When they walked into the waiting room there was a boy about ten years old and their mother already sitting there. Bea smiled at the mother. The boy looked unhappy and was really quiet. Bea knew that he probably has been through a lot since the two therapists that shared the office only dealt with kids from abusive homes. Bea started to think about how she should have taken Debbie and left Harry years ago. She hoped that the damage wasn’t irreparable for Debbie. Hopefully Debbie feels comfortable with Mrs. Smith and she will be able to let out all of the feelings she knows her daughter has bottled up. One of the office doors opened up and a tall, middle-aged blonde woman came out and walked over to Debbie and Bea. “Good morning. I am Joyce Smith. You must be Debbie.” Joyce smiled warmly. “Yes, I am and this is my mother, Bea.” Debbie said. “It’s nice to meet you both. I have some paperwork for you to fill out Bea while Debbie and I go and talk. Debbie are you ready?” Joyce asks turning to Debbie. She looks at her mother with worried eyes but Bea smiled at her reassuringly. Debbie follows Joyce and the door closes. Bea starts to fill out the paperwork when her phone rings. She sees it’s Franky and picks up. “Hey Franky. Sorry I didn’t call you last night.” Bea says knowing she’s going to get shit for it. “That’s okay Red. I figured that you were getting laid so I let it go.” Franky giggled. “Always sex with you, isn’t it?” Bea laughs to herself. “You know it! C’mon, now that you have been having good sex don’t deny that you always want it.” Franky says knowingly. Bea doesn’t say anything for a minute. Damn it, Franky is right. She thinks about sex all of the time these days. “Ok, I will admit to that. Now can we move on?” Bea sighs. “Oh my god, blondie must be really good in bed for you to admit that. I’m happy for you Red. Of course she’s not as good as I am but you missed that offer long ago.” Franky laughed. “Can we talk about my birthday please?” Bea said getting flustered. “Yeah, yeah. What are we doing? Dinner?” Franky asks. “I was thinking we could go to a hibachi place. It’ll be fun and then go to a movie afterward?” Bea suggests. “It’s your birthday Red. Whatever you want to do is good with Gidget and I.” says Franky. “Ok, I will text you the name and address of the restaurant. Let’s meet at 7.” says Bea. “Sounds good. See you Friday. You can tell me how your session went. Love ya Red.” 

Debbie is walked out of the office by Joyce. Bea hands her the paperwork. “Debbie did great today.” Joyce says smiling at Bea. “Debbie if you think you and I will work well together, call me and we can see each other again next week.” Joyce patted Debbie’s back. Debbie nods and thanks her. Bea hands a check to Joyce and they head to the car. “So, did you like her?” Bea asks as she buckles her seat belt. “Yeah, she is really easy to talk to. I think I would like to go back, if that’s okay?” Debbie says. “I think that’s great. Of course you can go back. If you want to talk about what you discussed with Joyce than I am here to listen but if you don’t that is perfectly okay.” Bea said squeezing Debbie’s hand. Debbie nods. “Can we eat now?” Debbie says while her stomach growls. Bea laughs. “Yes, let’s go feed you.”

Franky was just finishing up a draft of a Motion she had been working on all morning when the intercom buzzed. “Yes?” Franky said while rubbing her temple. “Jake Stewart is here to see you.” Doreen said. “Ok, please tell him I will be out in a minute.” Franky said and stood up collecting her purse. She walked out of her office and saw Jake by Doreen’s desk. “Hey Jake.” Franky smiled. She hadn’t seen him in a while and was looking forward to catching up with him over lunch. “Hey Doyle. Ready to go?” He asked with a smile. Jake and Franky have been friends for several years and he really likes her. They met at the Nassau County jail when she was visiting a client of hers. “Yep, let’s go.” They walked out of the building toward Jake’s car. “Where do you want to go?” Jake asks. “Let’s go to Salata. I don’t want to eat a heavy lunch and fall asleep when I get back to the office.” Franky laughs. “Okay, sounds good.” Jake said feeling the same way.

10 minutes later they arrived at the restaurant and it was busy. They were standing in line when Franky asks, “So what did you need to talk to me about?” Jake looked a little uncomfortable. “I would rather tell you when we are sitting at the table. It’s kind of sensitive.” The line moved forward. “Ok but now you are worrying me.” Franky grabbed a tray. After telling the various people working behind the bar all of the things she wanted on her salad, she stood in front of the cashier as they rang up her lunch. When she looked at how big the salad turned out. “I think my eyes are bigger than my stomach.” Franky said to the cashier. “Yeah, most peoples are.” Franky grabs the tray and heads to the dining area to find a table. Jake follows soon after. Neither one says anything for a while. Franky knows that Jake has something serious on her mind and lets him take his time to bring it up. “Judy took Emily and left me.” Jake said with a pained look on his face. “What…when?” Franky says with furrowed eyebrows. “A little over a week ago. She left me a note saying that she wants a divorce and that if I want to see Emily again, I need to agree to one.” Jake rubbed his face with both hands. “Oh Jake, I am so sorry. I didn’t know you were having problems.” Franky placed her hand on his forearm. “That’s just it. We have always had an up and down relationship. We would fight one minute and the next were having a great time with each other. But the night before she left it was different. It started out as a typical argument but it escalated into something angrier, meaner.” Jake took a long swallow from his cup. “What happened?” Franky encouraged him to keep talking. “She always accuses me of checking out other women and sometimes of sleeping with them. She is a very jealous woman. I have no interest in anyone but her and I have told her that dozens of times. The funny thing is she flirts incessantly with both men and women and that’s okay to her. I hate it but I never push the issue. I believe she is just a natural flirt and mostly she did it to get a rise out of me. That night I wasn’t reacting the way she wanted me to so she pushed it further. She said that she and Will were fucking while I was at work and how much better he was in bed. I knew she was lying and just trying to make me jealous or mad or both. The more I called her out on her bullshit, the more determined she was to make me angry. She said really vile and crude things to me and I started to lose my temper. When she brought Emily into the mix, I lost it and I…” Jake looked down and Franky could see how much shame he felt. She waited for him to continue. “Franky, I have never laid a finger on a woman out of anger. You know me. I think men that hit women are cowards and Neanderthals. I never thought I could be provoked to touch a woman like that, let alone my own wife. I… slapped her. It was open handed but I slapped her” Jake looked at Franky with tears in his eyes. “I am so angry with myself. She was just being so horrible and I wanted her to stop but she had me cornered in the kitchen…I just wanted her to shut her mouth. Where had the sweet and innocent young woman I had married gone?” Jake wouldn’t look at Franky he was so embarrassed by what he had told her. “Jake look at me.” He managed to look Franky in the eyes. “What you did wasn’t right but you didn’t punch her and you didn’t beat her. It was a momentary lapse and it probably will never happen again…am I right?” Jake nodded. “She will cool off and come back. Then you can talk it over.” Franky said trying to calm her friend down. “But it has been over a week. I don’t even know where she is. I called her over and over but she won’t answer or return my phone calls. The worst part is that she has Emily. I can’t lose my little girl Franky, I just can’t.” Jake begged with his eyes for Franky to help him. “Have you called her friends?” Franky asked. “She doesn’t have many. Mostly she is close to Will and he said he doesn’t know where she is. I’m sure he won’t tell me regardless.” Jake is clearly frustrated. “I don’t know what I can do to help you Jake but I am always here for you.” Franky patted his arm. “I will figure something out. Thank you for listening Franky.” Jake tried to smile at his friend. They finished lunch and when they got back to the office, Franky hugged him. “Keep me posted, will you?” Franky asked. “I will. Thank you for not judging me. You are a good friend Doyle.” Jake left and Franky went back to work.

After dropping Debbie back home, Bea went to the salon. It felt good to be around the women she has grown so fond of. “How are you doing love?” Liz asks warmly. “I’m doing pretty well. I got a lot of what I needed to take care of accomplished. How were things while I was gone?” Bea asks. “Busy but we did just fine without you. We are really glad you are back though. There are a lot of women calling and asking for you. I think you will be really busy for the next couple of weeks.” Liz smiled. “I want to thank you for being so understanding and supportive about me taking time off.” Bea said with gratitude. “No worries, love. I am glad that I could help.” Bea gave Liz a warm hug and when she pulled back Liz could see the tears in her eyes but didn’t say anything. My birthday is on Saturday but my friends and I are celebrating on Friday night. I would love for you and the girls to join us for dinner.” Bea smiled. “I would love to celebrate your birthday with you. I am sure the girls will too.” Liz is happy that Bea invited her. “Great! I think you will love my friends and I know that they will love you.” Bea was overjoyed. She invited Boomer, Kaz and Skye to dinner and they all said yes. Things were really coming together in this new life and Bea couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three more episodes to go. Episode 9 wasn't terribly exciting but I think it was setting us up for 10. I have read many spoilers and supposedly 10 is going to make up for the lack of excitement in 9. We shall see. I hope you all have a great week and as ALWAYS, I thank you for continuing to read my story and leaving supportive comments.


	46. Bea's Birthday Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea and her friends celebrate her birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that it has taken me two weeks to post. I will try and not let that happen again!

Bea: Good morning baby.  
Allie: Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep?  
Bea: Good but I would have slept even in better if you had been next to me.  
Allie: I would have loved that. I miss you when I am not with you.  
Bea: I miss you too. Maybe you can stay over tonight?  
Allie: Yes, please!  
Bea: Did you invite Maxine to dinner with us tomorrow night?  
Allie: Yes, thank you for suggesting that last night. She said she will meet us at the restaurant.  
Bea: I know how important she is to you.  
Allie: She is and so are you. Have a good day beautiful, I need to get back to work.  
Bea: Ok, I love you!  
Allie: I love you too!! xoxoxoxo

Allie is having a busy morning. She has until Monday to draft and file a motion for one of her clients. She wants to finish the motion today so she can concentrate on Bea’s birthday this weekend but her thoughts keep drifting off to her beautiful girlfriend. She still has to pinch herself to make sure that Bea is real. They are so perfect together and she can’t imagine a life without her. All of her past relationships were with women who only cared about themselves. Bea actually cares about what she needs and wants. She enjoys every moment they spend together. She loves that their relationship isn’t based on sex, like her other relationships. They have something much deeper, trust and respect for one another. Allie would have preferred that they had met on better circumstances but even if they had met at a social event or in the grocery store, she believes that the outcome would have been the same. She was drawn to Bea’s strength and determination in being the best person she could be. Of course it doesn’t hurt that Bea is gorgeous and sexy as hell. But she is so much deeper than that. Allie loves how kind and loving she is despite a lifetime of witnessing and experiencing first hand cruelty and violence. She could have become hard and bitter but, the love and loyalty to her daughter and friends are proof of how innately loving she is. She feels that love with every look and touch Bea bestows upon her. Bea has this way of making her feel safe and grounded. Even sex is different with Bea than anyone else she has ever been with. She is so generous and tender. Which is incredible given Bea’s sexual history. Despite everything she has gone through, Bea is taking back the power that had been stripped away from her by Harry and her father. She now asks for what she wants or needs. She has become confident and Allie knows that this is only the beginning of Bea’s exploration of her own sexuality. She is awed by Bea’s resilience and she has passed that strength down to her daughter. She has raised a strong and caring daughter which speaks volumes about Bea. With them both going to therapy now, they can begin to heal the wounds Harry inflicted upon them and become the people they were meant to be. Allie is suddenly startled out of her thoughts by a knock on the door. “I’m going to get a bite to eat. Do you want anything?” Grace asks. “What are you going to get?” Allie asks realizing the time and the growl coming from her stomach. “I was thinking about getting some pizza. I can bring you back a slice.” Grace smiles. “That sounds fantastic. Can you bring me back two?” Allie says excitedly. Grace smiles at Allie’s enthusiasm. “Ok, I will be back shortly.” Grace leaves the office and Allie tries to turn her focus back on the motion. While typing she remembers that she needs to call Will Jackson and set up a time to talk to him...but after Bea’s birthday weekend. Something is not right about Judy Stewart but she can’t quite put a finger on it. She does know that she doesn’t appreciate the way Judy keeps hitting on her. It is inappropriate and unwelcome. The first time was one thing but after being rejected, she should have backed off completely. She tries to chalk it up to the fact that Judy’s in a fragile state and is trying to cling on to anyone who will help her. She worries that Bea will start having an issue with Judy. She hopes that by telling Bea that there’s nothing to be jealous about it will help diffuse any tension she may feel. Bea seemed to get over Nikki hitting on her pretty easily. She doesn’t want to think about it now, it’s time to get her work done.

A new client is coming in for a cut and color this afternoon. Bea gets her station ready and waits for her to arrive. She goes into the back to make some tea when Liz startles her. “Sorry love, didn’t mean to scare you.” Liz places her hand gently on Bea’s elbow. “It’s okay I was just thinking and I guess I lost track of where I was.” Bea smiles. “Excited about tonight?” Liz asks while fixing herself a fresh cup of tea. “Very. I am nervous too though. I am meeting Allie’s best friend for the first time and I want things to go well.” Bea says while leaning against the counter. “I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. She’s going to love you and you will probably love her too. Allie is such a sweetheart and I doubt her friend will be nothing short of that.” Liz smiled. “I know you’re right but if she doesn’t like me, what will that mean for me?” Bea says suddenly anxious. “Oh Bea, you worry too much. Stop trying to over think and just enjoy the night. You could always have a few drinks…that always makes everything easier.” Liz laughs. The doorbell rings and Bea heads to the front knowing her client is here. Since Claire is a new client, they discuss what she wants done to her hair. She shows Bea a picture that she clipped out of a magazine and Bea tells her that she can color and style her hair like the picture. Bea begins applying the chemicals to Claire’s hair when her thoughts drift on to Allie. She is excited to see her tonight. She loves that Allie brings out all of these wonderful feelings. She really believed that it was only in movies that you can feel a love like she and Allie have. She knows it has only been two months, but Bea feels like she has known Allie for forever. She can’t get enough of looking into Allie’s beautiful blue eyes or running her fingers through her soft blonde hair. Bea is startled out of her thoughts by her client. “Bea are you alright? You stopped working on my hair.” Claire looks slightly annoyed.. She knows she needs to focus or she will turn her client’s hair orange. “Sorry Claire, I am fine.” Bea smiles hoping she hasn’t pissed her client off too much. After a while, her mind drifts off again with thoughts of dinner tonight. She is nervous about meeting Maxine. What if she doesn’t like her? How will Allie feel about that? Bea knows that if Franky or Debbie didn’t like Allie it would give her pause about her. Trying to clear her thoughts, she returns her focus on her client. The faster she gets through her day, the sooner she will be enjoying the company of her friends.

Allie is finally done with her motion and Grace files it for her. It’s early enough for her to get ready before heading out to dinner. She says goodnight to Grace and locks the front door. Wanting to look her best for Bea, she had bought herself a dress that shows off her long legs and flat stomach. After a quick shower then putting on the dress, she styles her hair and puts on some light makeup. She looks at herself in her full length mirror and is happy with what she sees. She can see the change in the person staring back at her. She knows that she has never looked happier. All of it was due to Bea. She has finally found her person. Allie grabs her keys and heads to the florist to pick up a bouquet for Bea.

Liz sent Bea home a little early so that she had time to get ready for dinner. Bea is thankful because she is having trouble deciding what to wear. She wants to look nice for Allie and opted for a black silk, men’s tailored shirt and black slacks with a waistline that rested just below her rib cage. She hadn’t worn them since leaving Harry and they were a little loose on her. She hadn’t realized that she lost weight. Bea walked out to the living room where Debbie was watching tv while waiting for Allie to arrive. “Do these slacks look too loose on me? I seem to have lost some weight since I last wore them?” Bea asks Debbie. “No, they aren’t too loose. You look really nice mama. I think Allie is going to love your outfit.” Debbie says while looking her mother up and down. She notices her mother blush. “You are dressing to impress her aren’t you?” Bea smiles shyly. “I can’t get anything past you.” Bea laughs. “Nope. Now what time is Allie due here. I am ready to eat.” Bea finishes doing her hair which she straightened. She can hear a knock so she puts her shoes on and heads to the front door. When she opens the door, her mouth drops a little. Allie looks beautiful. Bea steps back to let her girlfriend inside and takes a look at her ass as she walks past her. All she wants to do is put her hands all over Allie. “These are for you.” Allie hands Bea the bouquet of flowers. She is looking Bea up and down, definitely liking what she sees. When her eyes meet Bea’s she can see the want in them and they both smile knowing what each other is thinking. “Here, I’ll take the flowers and put them in some water, meanwhile you two can ravish each other with your eyes. Then we can finally leave and go eat.” Debbie says shaking her head with exasperation. Both Bea and Allie laugh. Allie winds her arms around Bea’s waist and draws her in for a soft kiss. “You look hot.” Allie whispers in Bea’s ear. Bea feels a flutter in her stomach. “I need to use the restroom and then we can head for the restaurant.” Allie smiles and kisses Bea’s cheek before walking toward the bathroom. Instead of entering the bathroom she goes into Bea’s room, taking out a small box and card from her purse and places it on Bea’s pillow. Allie walks back to the living room. “Are you ladies ready to go?” Allie asks taking Bea’s hand in hers. “Yes, let’s go already.” Debbie rolls her eyes.

The women see Franky and Bridget waiting outside of the restaurant. Everyone hug and greet each other. “Hey Red.” Franky pulls Bea into a tight hug. “Hey Franky.” Debbie sees Kaz and Skye walking up the street and walks toward them. “Have you checked in with the hostess?” Bea asks her friends. “We did. We can be seated once everyone arrives.” Bridget offers. “You look hot tonight, Allie.” Franky says grinning. Bridget elbows Franky lightly while Bea gives her a look. Allie laughs and shakes her head. “How do you put up with her?” Allie jokes with Bridget. “A lot of wine.” Bridget laughs. Franky pretends to be offended although everyone knows she is enjoying the attention. Kaz, Skye and Debbie reach the women and Kaz hands a beautifully wrapped present to Bea. “Happy birthday Bea.” Kaz says and then hugs her. “You know you didn’t have to get me anything. I am just glad you are joining us. Bea introduces Kaz and Skye to Franky and Bridget. “Happy birthday Bea. Thanks for inviting us.” Skye says shyly. “My pleasure. I am glad you could both make it.” Bea hugs Skye. Allie notices that Bea looks very happy to be surrounded by her friends and it warms her heart. She hears her name being called and sees Maxine heading over to them. “Maxi, this is Bea.” Allie beams. Bea extends her hand but Maxine ignores it and pulls Bea in for a hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you Bea.” Maxine smiles warmly and detects tears in Bea’s eyes. “It is really so nice to meet you. Allie has told me so much about you.” Bea says and then introduces her to everyone. “Oi, the traffic here is going to be the death of me!” All the women turn in the direction of the loud voice heading their way. Bea laughs as Liz and Boomer approach. Bea introduced everyone and they check back in with the hostess. Once they are all seated around the grill, they order drinks. “Oi Bea, no kiddie drinks for you! Let your hair down for once.” Boomer yells across the grill. Bea laughs and decides that Boomer is right and orders something stronger. Allie raises an eyebrow and smiles. After they get their drinks, the chef walks behind the counter and starts chopping and tossing the food around, putting on a show. He sets a pyramid of onions on fire and tosses shrimp across the counter into Boomer’s mouth. The women are having a great time. Not only was the presentation of cooking the food fun it also tasted delicious. Maxine and Bea are really hitting it off. They both were born in Manhasset at the same hospital, love to read, prefer classic movies and have a love of 70s music. They talked about how wonderful Allie is and how they both feel privileged to have her in their lives. Maxine is warm and open with Bea, which made her comfortable. It also helped that Bea had a few drinks in her and was making her really relaxed. Debbie and Boomer were having a good time talking about hot guys and food. Allie and Bridget were ganging up on Franky much to her dismay. Eventually Allie’s eyes found Bea’s and they held an intimate conversation through body language and facial expressions. Each telling the other how much they loved one another. This didn’t get past Maxine, she noticed how the two looked at each other and it made her happy that Allie has finally found her person. Franky walks over to Bea and it is clear that she’s had a few drinks by the way she is walking. “Hey Red, are we still going to a movie after we leave here?” Franky says with a slight slur. Bea is not faring much better. “I think I would fall asleep if we went to a movie. Do you have a better suggestion?” Bea asks a little too loudly. Debbie walks over to them. “Let’s go to Dave & Busters. They have video games, trivia, skeet ball and stuff. Plus they serve alcohol. It’ll be fun.” Debbie says excited over her idea. Allie walks up behind Bea and wraps her arms around Bea’s waist. Her face nuzzled against Bea’s ear “That actually does sound fun Debbie. What do you think Bea?” Allie asks. Bea’s temperature rises from the feeling her girlfriends hot breathe on her ear and she badly wants to turn around and kiss Allie. “Ok, let’s do it.” Bea says and drains the remnants of her drink. The women grab their belongings and leave the restaurant.  
They all arrived at Dave & Busters at the same time and head to the bar. Boomer buys Bea a birthday shot of cinnamon Schnapps. The women gather round and Boomer makes a toast while the others raise their glasses. “Right yea, uh… to Bea, thanks for inviting us all out to celebrate your birthday. It’s good to see you take the stick out of your arse once in a while and have a drink with us.” Liz elbows Boomer. “Uh sorry Bea, I didn’t mean anything by it…” Both Bea and Franky laugh. “It’s alright Boomer.” Bea says not taking offense. “Right well, here’s to Bea…happy birthday.” Boomer clinks her glass against Bea’s. “Thank you all for celebrating with me.” Bea says and throws the thick liquid down her throat. Bea was taken aback by how strong the drink is. Her throat is on fire. Allie walks over to the redhead and kisses softly. “Happy birthday beautiful.” Allie whispers in her ear. Bea feels the heat not only from the drink but from being close to Allie. Bea leans over and whispers back, “when we get home, I want you to fuck me.” Bea steps away and sees a very flushed and aroused Allie, who unconsciously licks her lips. Franky walks over. “Alright Novak, go mix with the women. Bea is mine for the first few games.” Allie and Bridget look at each other and roll their eyes. Franky pulls Bea by the hand and drags her over to a virtual motorcycle racing game. They both straddle the fake bikes, put on the goggles and pop a coin in their machines. Bea races Franky and although it isn’t real, she feels a rush of adrenaline. The booth has air blowing inside giving the sensation that the wind is blowing through their hair as they ride. Franky wins the race and as they get off the bikes, Bea stumbles. Franky grabs her arm and they have a fit of giggles. “I kicked your ass Red.” Franky teases. “That’s fine. I will kick your ass in the next game.” Bea steps out of the booth and looks for a game that she can beat Franky in. She sees an air hockey table. “Come on Doyle.” Bea grabs Franky by the elbow and leads her to the table. “Oh Red, I am so going to embarrass you. I have catlike reflexes.” Franky says popping a coin into the coin slot. The air shoots out and the table hums causing the paddles to slide around the table. Bea grabs one and grabs hold of a disc. “Prepare to be humiliated Doyle.” Bea smiles cockily. Franky barely has her paddle in position when Bea slaps the disc into Franky’s goal. “Hey, that wasn’t fair. I wasn’t ready.” Franky pouts. “Quit your whining.” Bea says and slaps another disc into Franky’s goal. Now Franky was determined to win. No matter what Franky did to stop the discs from flying into her goal, Bea was relentless and within a few minutes Bea kicked Franky’s ass. “Ok, we are 1 to 1. I will pick the next game.” Franky says and walks off to find another game. She decides on playing the vintage game Pac Man. Franky had played at least a hundred hours of the game while growing up. What she didn’t count on was Bea being so competitive that she was willing to do what it took to win. Franky was breezing through level after level and suddenly she felt Bea standing closer than she should be. It was distracting her. Despite the fact that Franky always hits on Bea, she never was really serious about taking the redhead to bed. She was Franky’s family and even if Bea wanted to, she would never had crossed that line. But that didn’t mean that Franky wasn’t attracted to her friend and therefore flustered when Bea put her hand on the small of her back, very close to the top of her ass. She knew Bea was drunk but was she hitting on her? Meanwhile Allie was standing close by and saw what Bea was doing. Bea winked at Allie letting her know what she was doing and Allie grinned. While Franky was continuing to play, she felt Bea’s hand move lower and her body was closer to her. Franky tried not to react but she was getting turned on by the touch and the proximity of Bea’s body. “Shit.” Franky muttered when she lost a life and only now had two lives left. Bea smiled at Allie. Franky continued to play, trying to concentrate but having great difficulty. Especially when Bea peered over Franky’s shoulder. She could feel Bea’s hot breath on her neck and she lost another life. “Red, there is a thing called personal space.” Franky said through gritted teeth. “Oh sorry.” Bea said pretending she didn’t know what she was doing. Franky continued to play, determined to not lose her concentration. “God, I am so hot.” Bea said while fanning herself with her hand. “I just want to take my shirt off.” Bea steps back into Franky’s personal space and at one point Franky’s arm brushed Bea’s breast. Franky immediately lost the game. “Dammit Red, you did that on purpose!” Franky whined and looked up at Bea who had the widest shit eating grin on her face. Franky’s eyes opened wide when she realized that Bea did do it on purpose. Franky heard Allie laughing behind her and turned around. “You were in on this? I don’t know blondie, I think you are a bad influence on Bea.” Franky pouted but secretly she liked this side of Bea. She has really come out of her shell and Franky was happy to witness it. “Alright Red, I am going to find Bridget. You are in big trouble when she finds out you hit on me.” Franky smirked. After Franky walked away, Allie came over and put her arms around Bea’s neck and gave her a soft peck on the lips. “You are terrible. Using your sexy ways to win a game.” Allie smiled seductively. “But remember, you’re all mine. The only one who gets to touch you is me.” Allie said seriously. Another person might have gotten annoyed at that statement but Bea loved that Allie was possessive of her. She didn’t want anyone to touch or flirt with Allie either. Allie was hers. They looked into each other’s eyes and the sounds of the video games and people faded. It was just the two of them. Allie leaned over and whispered in Bea’s ear. “I will fuck you as soon as we get home and that’s a promise.” Bea shuddered and wanted nothing more than to leave her friends and go home with the woman she loved. 

Maxi, Bridget, Kaz and Liz are playing a trivia game. There are five stools and in front of them is a large screen that the questions are projected on. It looks like the three of them are being quite competitive and taking the game seriously. Bea and Allie walk over and check on them to make sure they are having a good time. Bea hears Franky and Boomer cackling down the next aisle. Debbie and Boomer are shooting zombies and Franky is trying to help by warning them when a zombie appears out of nowhere. Sky is playing another shooting game beside them. Everyone seems to be having fun. Allie suddenly grabs Bea’s hand and leads her to a photo booth. She pulls Bea on to her lap and inserts money into the slot. After spending several dollars on many poses, they got out of the booth to collect the pictures. Bea loved every one of them but especially the one where Allie was looking at her with great affection and Bea was wearing a silly face. It was a candid shot of Allie’s feelings for her and it made her heart swell.   
The women played around for another hour or so and then it was time to call it a night. Franky and Boomer had continued to drink throughout the time they were there and although they weren’t sloppy drunk…it was time to go. Franky and Bridget offered to take Debbie for the weekend since Allie had something special planned for Bea during the weekend. Everyone said their goodnights and Bea thanked them all profusely. Allie and Bea walked to the car holding hands. She had never been on a proper date but she felt like she had been on the best one with Allie. She felt like a teenager, anticipating getting back to Allie’s cottage. She suddenly remembered Allie’s promise and she could feel herself getting warmer with anticipation. Allie squeezed her hand before opening the door to the car for her. Allie was excited to get Bea home alone.  
When they arrived at the cottage, they both quickly entered and managed to close the door before Allie was all over Bea. She kissed her passionately and was practically ripping Bea’s clothes off. They stumbled into the back room, their mouths and hands never leaving one another. Once they were completely naked, Allie pushed Bea back on the bed. She quickly laid on top of her and continued to kiss Bea with desperation. She couldn’t get enough of Bea. Allie moved her hand down to Bea’s core and her fingers slipped through her wet lips. Bea was so wet. Bea moaned loudly and opened her legs, encouraging Allie to touch her there. She inserted two fingers inside Bea and began thrusting them inside her warm, wet walls. Bea is panting and spread her legs even farther. She places her hand on top of Allies, guiding her as Allie leaned over Bea. Allie’s hand continued thrusting in rhythm with Bea’s hips. Allie’s mouth never leaving hers. She inserted a third finger and as she grinded her hips against Bea’s her thumb hit her clit. Bea was moaning louder than Allie has ever heard her. “I am so close” Bea exclaimed between moans. Allie found a perfect rhythm and they were both sweating from exertion. She was so turned on by the sounds Bea was making, she thought she could come from that alone. She could feel Bea’s walls tighten around her fingers and knew she was close to coming. Bea was panting and moaning in Allie’s ear and it was driving Allie wild. She didn’t want the feeling to end. Bea let out a guttural sound and her body seized up. “I’m coming….oh my god…Allie!” Allie could feel the contractions around her fingers and the juices flowing down her wrist. Nothing has felt so beautiful and Allie didn’t want it to end. As Bea’s orgasm started to subside, Allie withdrew her fingers and kissed her tenderly. Bea wrapped her arms around her and pulled Allie into a tight hug. “Well, happy birthday to me.” Bea says laughing. “Your birthday has only just begun beautiful.” Allie winks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the weeks have flown by and the season finale is upon us. Although I think that this season wasn't as good as the first 4, there were some good moments and last week's episode was excellent. I am both eager and sad to see the last episode of the season. Waiting another year for season 6 will be torturous but thank god for fan fiction. I hope you all have a good week and thank you again for reading my story.


	47. Bea's Birthday Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bea's actual birthday is filled with romance.

Bea wakes up to the aroma of fresh brewed coffee. When she opens her eyes she sees Allie walk into the bedroom with a tray of food and coffee. “Good morning birthday girl.” Allie says warmly. Bea sits up and Allie places the tray over her lap. On the plate are pancakes with a smiley face drawn in whipped cream on top. Bea can’t help but smile widely. “Thank you baby.” Allie kisses Bea softly. “How are you feeling this morning?” Allie asks with a smirk. Bea realizes that fortunately she doesn’t have a hangover. “I feel wonderful.” Bea says and takes a bite of her pancakes. “Thank you for breakfast, it’s a lovely surprise.” Allie looks satisfied. She wants to make Bea feel like a queen today. She slides into bed next to Bea with her coffee. “Did you have fun last night beautiful?” Allie asks. “I had a great time. It couldn’t have gone any better. I really enjoyed meeting Maxine. She is so sweet. I look forward to spending more time with her.” Beas says before dragging her finger through the whipped cream and then licking the sweet cream off of her finger seductively. “She really liked you too. Before we left, she pulled me to the side and told me so.” Allie said following Bea’s finger from the plate to her mouth and her body grew warm. Bea dragged her finger through the whipped cream again but instead of putting it into her own mouth she held her finger out in front of Allie’s. She took Bea’s whole finger into her mouth and rolled her tongue around it meeting Bea’s eyes. Allie could see the want mirrored back at her as she withdrew her mouth from Bea’s finger. Bea cleared her throat. “I’m relieved to hear that Maxine likes me.” Bea said still reeling from the sensation of Allie’s mouth around her finger. “Me too. But, I knew she would like you. You are wonderful and Maxi knows how happy you make me.” Allie says smiling, knowing the effect she is having on her. Bea clears her throat again. “So, what’s the plan for today?” Bea asks while finishing her breakfast. “I am going to drop you off at your place so you can get ready. I will come back here, go for a run, shower then pick you up in two hours.” Allie says waiting for Bea to agree. “Okay. Anything particular I need to wear?” Bea is dying to know what Allie has planned for her. “Something you would wear for a day at the beach. I also need you to pack an overnight bag that includes something suitable to go to a nice restaurant.” Allie smiles coyly. “Are you taking me out to dinner?” Bea asks. “Sort of. Oh and bring a sweater and jeans with you as well. You will need it.” Allie winks.  
Allie drops Bea off at the house and drives back home. She walks into her bedroom and notices a small box and an envelope on her bed. She smiles while picking up the box. When she opens it, she finds a gold seahorse with a pearl eye dangling from a thin link chain. She smiles knowing the pearl is her birthstone. She opens the envelope next and inside is an inscribed card that says “Seahorses mate for life and when they journey through life they link tails so they never lose one another. I never want to lose you beautiful for you are my forever. I love you with every fiber of my being. I hope you have a wonderful birthday….you deserve nothing less.” Bea didn’t even realize tears had formed in her eyes until one slid down her cheek. It was the most thoughtful and sweetest gift she had ever received. She put the necklace on and planned to never take it off. She just fell in love with Allie even more.  
Allie arrives at the house a couple of hours later and is barely through the front door when Bea grabs her by the hand and leads her to her bedroom. Bea kisses Allie passionately. “I love the necklace and I want to show you how much you mean to me.” Bea says while sliding her hands underneath the front of Allie’s shirt. “Oh god Bea, I want nothing more than to let you but I have plans for you.” Allie says while gently stopping Bea’s hands. “We can do this later, I promise.” It is taking a lot of self-control to not throw Bea on the bed and ravish her. Bea pouts. “Are you sure?” Bea’s hands linger near the button of Allie’s shorts. “Patience Bea, I will make it worth your while….. We need to get going.” Allie smiles warmly at her girlfriend. “Ugh, alright.” Bea groans. Allie laughs as she realizes where Debbie gets her pouting from.   
Bea tries to figure out where they are driving to and can only guess that it is near the ocean. 20 minutes later they pull into a dockyard. Allie turns to Bea and smiles. They get out of the car and head to a small shack and Allie tells the man behind the desk that she has a reservation. Once Allie signs the paperwork, he asks them to follow him. Bea is not sure what is going on but gets an idea when she sees a speed boat at the end of the dock. Bea looks at Allie and receives a big smile. She takes Bea’s hand and the man gives Allie a set of keys. “Enjoy.” He says. Allie helps her onto the boat and starts the engine. “Are you ready?” Allie asks. “I am definitely ready.” Bea says with excitement. They take off and Bea is thoroughly enjoying the ride. The smell of the sea, the rush of the air and the fine mist of the water as they speed through the sound is exhilarating. After a half an hour of hurtling through the water, Allie slows the boat down to a stop. Allie reaches under the front of the boat and pulls out a picnic basket. The women sit down and Allie opens it, pulling out a bottle of wine, glasses, cheese, crackers and prosciutto. “Did you enjoy the ride?” Allie asks while opening the bottle. “I absolutely loved it Allie.” Bea says grinning. Allie hands Bea a glass of wine and pours one for herself. She raises her glass to make a toast. Bea follows suit. “Happy birthday to the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I am the luckiest girl alive to be able to call you mine.” Bea smiles shyly while they tap their glasses together. “Thank you Allie. This is a wonderful surprise. You truly are the most generous and loving person I know.” Bea can feel tears springing to her eyes. She leans over and kisses Allie tenderly. They eat and drink while enjoying the warmth of the summer day. Allie moves beside Bea and puts her arm around her. She kisses the side of Bea’s head. The gentle rocking of the boat, the feeling of Allie against her body and the sound of the waves lulls Bea into a peaceful place. In fact, she has never felt such peace in her life. They didn’t speak for a while. There was no need to. They just enjoyed their surroundings and the comfort of being together. Bea breaks the silence. “Today has been nothing short of perfect.” Allie tightens her arms around her. “The day has only begun beautiful.” Allie smiles to herself. “Allie…” They turn to look at each other. “You have brought me such joy and happiness. I never in my wildest dreams thought I could feel as happy as I do with you. Thank you for everything you do for me and for all of your support and patience…..Allie Novak, I love you with all of my heart and soul.” Bea says feeling a lump forming in her throat. She feels so much emotion and wants to convey just how much she loves Allie. Looking into Allie’s eyes, she can feel the love radiating back to her. Allie’s eyes are shiny and Bea knows that she is feeling just as emotional.   
An hour later they are back at the dock. “Wait here please.” Allie says and heads back to the car to get their bags. Allie walks back up to the shack and hands the man the keys. Bea expected them to walk back to the car together so when Allie went and got the bags out of the car she was confused. Allie took her hand and led her further down the pier. When they reached an area that had several small yachts, Bea looked at Allie and was met with a huge grin. A man wearing a stereotypical captain’s uniform met the women on the landing. “Ms. Novak?” the captain asks. “Good morning, are you Ted?” Allie asks. “Yes and you must be Ms. Smith?” Ted asks Bea. “Yes.” Bea answers shyly. “Everything is ready for you both.” Ted says and gestures for the women to board the yacht. Bea is confused. Where are they going she wondered? The inside of the yacht was spacious and beautiful. “You can put your belongings in the bedroom.” Ted says while leading them further into the yacht. Bea looked around and couldn’t believe Allie had rented the yacht for her. She found herself getting emotional again. Allie sees Bea’s reaction and mouths “you’re worth it.” Bea smiles and looks down. Once they put their bags into the room, Ted shows them the rest of the yacht. “We will take off in a few minutes Ms. Novak. I have everything set up on the deck and dinner will be served at 6. If you need anything, I will be down below.” Ted says smiling. “Thank you Ted and please call me Allie.” Allie smiles back at him. Ted walks away and Allie turns to Bea, wrapping her arms around her waist. “You did all of this for me?” Bea states more than asks. “I know you love the ocean and I wanted to give you a special day.” Allie kisses her cheek. “Thank you.” Bea hugs Allie tightly. “Let’s go up to the deck.” Allie leads the way. The deck has two lounge chairs with comfortable cushions. There is a small table between them, a bucket sits on top with a bottle of champagne sticking out. Two glasses are beside the bucket along with a small vase containing a red rose. Bea took it all in. The attention to detail showed how much thought Allie put into her plans for Bea’s birthday surprise. “Have a seat and get comfortable.” Allie says while pulling her shirt off. Underneath she had a white bikini top on. Bea followed suit. She was wearing a pink bikini underneath her clothes having anticipated they were going to the beach. Allie winked at her, appreciating the view. She laid beside Bea in the other lounge chair. Opening the bottle of champagne, she pours them both a glass. Bea is so relaxed and the weather is perfect. Bea realizes the yacht is moving. There is a gentle breeze as the boat moves along the water. “Where are we going?” Bea asks curiously. “Just further into the sound. I have a surprise for you.” Allie winks. A little while later the yacht stops moving. Bea hears noise below and gets up off the lounge to investigate. She sees Ted fiddling with a lever and hears something moving out from the boat. She feels Allie behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist. “How would you like a swim?” Allie asks. Bea turns around and looks at Allie. “Swimming?” Bea asks with enthusiasm. Allie wiggles her eyebrows. “Let’s go.” Allie grabs her hand and leads her down to the lower deck. Ted is gone and there are two towels resting on some chairs. There is a ladder that brings them down to a floating dock. The women climb down the ladder and Allie takes off her shorts and jumps into the water. Bea immediately pulls her shorts off and jumps in after her. The water is brisk but invigorating. Allie immediately gravitates toward Bea, taking her in arms. Her girlfriend wraps her legs around Allie’s waist. They float like that for a while, kissing each other slowly. Allie looks into Bea’s eyes and can’t believe she is real. “What are you thinking?” Bea asks. “How good you feel in my arms and how I never want to let you go.” Allie says softly. “Then don’t.” Bea says assuredly. “Never.” Allie purrs into her ear.   
Once the women had enough of being in the water, they got out and head to the shower together. They let the water envelope their bodies while holding each other tightly. Allie kisses her girlfriend tenderly at first, then passionately. Bea’s hands wander from Allie’s back down to her ass and she squeezes while pulling their hips closer together. She rubs her breasts against Bea’s and lets out a low moan. Bea kisses along Allie’s jawline and down to her neck. Moving her hand between their chests, Allie finds a hardened nipple and she pinches it between her thumb and index finger. Bea moans loudly and bites Allie’s shoulder. They kiss passionately and the sudden desperation of their kiss alights a fire in both of them. Allie pushes Bea against the tiled wall. She wants Bea so badly she feels like she is going to self-combust. She cups both of Bea’s breasts and massages them almost roughly. Bea’s nipples are rock hard, red and so inviting. Allie leans over and takes one of them into her mouth, taking her time sucking and nibbling the hardened bud. Bea’s hands are woven into Allie’s hair and she pulls not so gently. “God Allie, that feels so good.” Bea growls. Allie lowers herself to her knees, kissing her way down Bea’s ribs and stomach to where Bea needs her most. She parts Bea’s lips and slowly licks her juices. “You taste so good.” Allie mumbles, her mouth against her core. Bea grabs her own breasts and slowly massages them while Allie relentlessly licks and sucks her clit. She is surrendering herself to all of the wonderful feelings that Allie elicits from her body. Allie takes her time enjoying the sounds of pleasure coming from her girlfriend. She is in no hurry to bring Bea to climax, wanting her to feel all the love she has for her. Allie inserts one finger and curls it, hitting the rough spot behind her clit, massaging it gently. Lowering herself on to Allie’s hand, Bea gyrates her hips. “I need more Allie.” Bea says barely able to speak. Allie adds another finger and slowly moves her them in and out while maintaining the rhythm of her tongue on Bea’s clit. “I need to come….please let me come.” Bea begs. Allie increases the speed of her hand and sucks her clit. Bea’s knees are quivering. She doesn’t think she can stand up much longer. Allie adds another finger and continues to move in and out of Bea. That’s all it takes for Bea to release a guttural moan and Allie can feel the long hard contractions around her fingers. She stands up with her fingers still inside Bea and holds her with her other arm. Whispering “I love you” into Bea’s ear, her girlfriend starts to cry. Allie gently removes her hand and holds Bea tightly. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Allie asks with concern. “No, you didn’t hurt me. It was just really intense and I feel very emotional.” Bea says and holds Allie away from her so that she can look into her eyes. “Telling you I love you doesn’t even come close to conveying how deeply connected I feel to you.” Bea says with so much love that it brings tears to Allie’s eyes. Bea pulls her as close as possible and they stand like that for a while. Allie gently pulls away, “we need to get ready for dinner beautiful.” Allie says although she is enjoying the closeness they are feeling.   
After finishing their shower, they both got ready for dinner. Luckily, there are two bedroom/bath areas so they could see each other after they were dressed. Bea is wearing a tight fitting backless black dress that comes down just above her knee. She straightens her long, red, curly hair and applies light make-up. She puts on her black 3-inch heels and when she feels satisfied with how she looks, walks to the deck. Allie is waiting for her. She is wearing a strapless powder blue dress that matches her eyes. Her blonde hair is in a French braid and she looks stunning. Bea can hardly take her eyes off of her. Allie isn’t faring much better. There is a table set for two with lit tea candles and rose petals peppered about the table. There are several dishes with silver covers on top. Allie walks over and takes Bea’s hand. “You look so beautiful.” Allie smiles. The sun is starting to set and the golden light is highlighting the blonde’s hair making her look like an angel descended from heaven. Bea has tears in her eyes. “So do you.” Bea looks into her girlfriend’s eyes lovingly. “Care to join me for dinner?” Allie asks while gesturing to the table. Bea takes her hand and is lead to a chair which Allie pulls out and Bea sits down in. Allie sits down across from her. A man walks across the deck and greets them while opening the bottle of wine. He pours them each a glass. He lifts the covers off of the plates and starts serving the women. Dinner looks beautiful and smells delicious. Bea is really impressed with the attention to detail and the amount of thought Allie so clearly put into her birthday surprise. She finds herself unable to take her eyes off Allie and is rewarded with a smile. The man walks away and they begin to eat. Bea lets out a soft moan when she tastes the food. “This is amazing Allie, thank you so much for today.” Allie is visibly effected by Bea’s moan and has to clear her throat to respond. “You are so worth it beautiful. There is still more to come.” Allie smiles. When they finish eating, the man comes back and clears their plates. Allie leads Bea to the rail of the deck and stands behind her with arms around her waist. She rests her chin on Bea’s shoulder and they watch the end of the sunset. Tonight is beyond perfect and never in her wildest dreams did Bea think she would experience such romance. That was only to happen in the movies but Bea was really experiencing it. She would never forget this birthday and hopes that what she has planned for Allie’s birthday will make Allie feel as loved as she does right now. “What are you thinking about?” Allie asks quietly. “How incredibly happy I am and that I don’t want this day to end.” Allie squeezes Bea gently. “You deserve this feeling every day of your life and I am going to do my best to give it to you.” Allie says tenderly. Bea turns around in her arms and kisses Allie softly. As they kiss, their song starts playing. Bea smiles at Allie who is grinning like a fool, delighted at Bea’s reaction.  
“I’ve been searching a long time for someone like you…” They begin to sway to the music. Allie moves Bea away from the rail and twirls her around. “I’ve been traveling all around the world…waiting for you to come through…” Allie brings her close and they continue to sway to the music, kissing occasionally and looking into each other’s eyes. When the song ends, Allie takes her hand and leads her back to the table. There are two plates with a piece of chocolate cake, raspberry sauce drizzled beautifully on top with a sprig of mint. They enjoy their dessert and then more music starts playing but this time it is a song by Adaline, “Keep Me High.” Allie pulls out her chair and gestures for Bea to sit on it. Allie begins to dance slowly in front of Bea. “Oh my love…see my blood red for you….a dried sponge….suddenly wet from you.” Bea is mesmerized. Allie looks so beautiful and sexy as she moves seductively in front of Bea. “My red lips…shy and ready for you…my pale skin…you want my pale skin, love….can you keep me high, high love…” Allie moves so that Bea’s leg is between hers and her stomach is in front of her face. “You’re as fine…as a Polynesian smile…we’ve been asleep...asleep for too long.” Allie is now straddling Bea’s lap and her breasts are in her face. Bea starts to touch her but Allie places Bea’s hands back to her sides. “Come here close…almost enough to touch…in and out…” Allie pulls her hair out of the braid and hangs her golden locks on to Bea’s face erotically. Bea’s senses are overwhelmed. She wants to touch Allie so badly. “Can you keep me high, high love…can you keep me high, high love…” Bea licks her lips and leans up to kiss her lips. Allie kisses her passionately. “The pull is stronger than the push…you break me…the pull is stronger than the push…you break me...” Bea can’t take it anymore, she is so turned on. She stands up, grabs Allie’s hand and drags her inside to the bedroom. She wants to show Allie just how much she wants, loves her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience for my update. I can't believe I was able to write a chapter a day in the beginning of my story. I hope that I will go back to a minimum of once a week again. Thank you for your continued support and wonderful comments.


	48. The End of a Beautiful Weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that it has been three weeks since my last post. I have had a bit of writer's block. I am hoping that I have pushed past it. I really appreciate all the love and support I have received on Archive. It means a lot to me that you all like the story and want to stick with it. Hopefully I can get back into my routine and move the story along. Again, thank you.

When Bea opens her eyes, she doesn’t know where she is for a second. Then the memory of yesterday comes flooding back and she can’t help but smile. What a wonderful birthday she had. Everything about it from breakfast in bed to the night on the yacht had been perfect. Allie is lying on her back and sleeping soundly. She looks angelic and Bea watches her as she sleeps. She couldn’t be any more thankful that this blonde haired, blue eyed woman loves her. Bea can’t help it, she gently pushes away a lock of Allie’s hair from her face. Allie scrunches her nose and instinctively reaches out her arm looking for Bea. When she finds her, Allie opens her eyes and smiles at the fact that Bea is watching her sleep. “Good morning beautiful.” Allie says sleepily. “Good morning Alliecat.” Bea says in her signature raspy voice. Allie scoots herself closer and kisses Bea lovingly. “I think I like it when you call me that.” Allie says nuzzling into the crook of Bea’s neck. “What time is it?” Allie asks. “About 9:00. What time are we picking up your mother?” Bea asks while caressing Allie’s arm lightly. “We need to pick her up at noon. I hope you are prepared that she will probably bring a deck of cards and possibly her cribbage board.” Allie says with a smirk that Bea cannot see but knows is there. “Yeah, I know but I don’t mind. I love playing cards with your mom.” Bea says sitting up, pushing Allie to her back and then straddling her. Allie smiles and moves her hands along Bea’s sides. “How about we go for an early morning swim before we have to shower?” Bea suggests. “Or we can stay here and replay last night’s activities....” Allie says smiling widely. Bea starts to object but Allie’s hands wander up to Bea’s breasts and she loses her train of thought.

They arrive at Ellen’s at noon and she is waiting outside. She has a large hand bag in her hand, large enough for a scrabble board. Bea got out of the passenger side of the car and went to open the door to the back seat. “Oh no you don’t.” Ellen said authoritatively. “You sit up front next to Allie where you belong.” Ellen says while nudging Bea to the front of the car. “Oh wait...” Ellen says. Bea stops in her tracks and turns around. Ellen gives Bea a warm long hug. “Happy birthday.” Bea smiles. “Thank you Ellen.” Bea turns her back getting ready to open the passanger door and Ellen swats her on the ass. Bea’s face turns red and Allie and Ellen are in fits of laughter. “What was that for?” Bea exclaims. “Your first birthday swat.” Ellen says through fits of laughter. “Oh great, there’s going to be more?!” Bea starts to laugh. “Mom, let her be. Come on beautiful, get in the car.” Allie says giggling.

They arrive at the restaurant shortly. It’s specialty is seafood and the restaurant sits at the edge of a pier looking over the Long Island Sound. There are a lot of sailboats in the water including the occasional speed boat which makes Bea smile to herself. The patio has large rustic oak tables and benches. The women order their food and while they wait Ellen pulls out a small gift wrapped box and places it in front of Bea. “Oh Ellen, you shouldn’t have.” Bea says, tears already forming in her eyes. “Nonsense, you are like my daughter. You deserve something nice for your birthday.” Ellen smiles and if Bea saw right, she also had tears in her eyes. Bea tears the wrapping paper off and removes the top of the box. Inside is a broach in the shape of a bird adorned with colorful stones . Bea looks at Ellen. “This is beautiful, thank you.” Bea says wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “To me it symbolizes the freedom to fly. I think you have earned it and I hope you continue to soar like you have since you left Harry.” Ellen says while placing a hand on Bea’s. “I love it.” Bea says and looks at her beautiful girlfriend who has tears in her eyes as well. When the server brings them their food, the women try and look like they haven’t been crying. They enjoy their food and Bea tells Ellen about dinner on Friday and all that Allie did for her birthday. Allie blushed when Bea spoke of how much she loves her. “I am so happy you two found each other. You are a perfect fit.” Ellen says warmly. Bea can’t believe how much love she feels and how much her life has turned around in only such a short time. “I want to meet Debbie, Bea. She sounds like such a lovely young lady.” Ellen says. “She would like to meet you as well. How would you like to come over for dinner next weekend?” Bea offers. “Am I invited?” Allie laughs. “I’ll think about it.” Bea teases. “I would love to come to dinner. Thank you.” Ellen says. The server comes back to remove their empty plates and asks if they want anything else. “I think we should get the mile high mud pie and split it among the three of us. What do you think ladies? We can play a game of scrabble while we eat it.” Ellen grins. Allie and Bea quickly agree. Allie looks at Bea and laughs. She knew that her mother had something in her purse that she would want to play. “What?” Ellen asks innocently.

Allie drops Bea off at the house later in the afternoon. Bea misses Allie the moment she got in her car to drive back to her place. It’s amazing to Bea how much she loves spending time with the blonde. When Harry was around she hated it, even when he was being nice. Debbie walks into the house shortly after Allie leaves. “Hi mama, how was your birthday surprise?” Debbie asks already knowing that it was a success by the smile her mother is wearing. “It was amazing Deb. It was fun and romantic. Allie put so much thought into it.” Bea beams. “I thought you would like her surprise.” Debbie grins. “What, you knew about it?” Bea is surprised. “Yeah, she ran it by me because she wanted to make sure that you would enjoy what she had planned.” Debbie says while walking to the refrigerator to grab a water. “Do you want something?” Debbie asks. “No thanks baby. How long did you know?” Bea asks still surprised that Debbie kept the surprise from her. “About two weeks.” Debbie gloats. “How was lunch with Ellen?” Debbie asks. “It was great.” Bea says while heading to her bedroom. She comes back out with the box containing the broach and shows Debbie. “It’s beautiful. That was really nice of her to get you a present.” Debbie says. “I was really surprised. Oh, by the way. I invited her to dinner next weekend. She said she wants to meet you. Can you be home that night?” Bea asks while closing the box and setting it on the table. “Definitely. Speaking of dinner... I’m starving?”

Allie couldn’t believe how quickly the weekend had passed. It was too short for her liking and she wasn’t looking forward to getting back to work. Spending the weekend with Bea was amazing and she couldn’t be happier that the surprise went off without a hitch. Bea seemed to genuinely love her birthday and that made Allie even happier. All she wants to do is keep the smile on her girlfriend’s face. Allie knew she needed to call Will Jackson and talk to him about Judy but she was dreading the conversation. She still had a bad feeling about Judy even though she couldn’t quite put a finger on why. Allie dialed Will’s number and he doesn’t pick up so she leaves him a message. An hour later Will returns her call and they set up a time to meet. They decide to meet for coffee at the Starbucks in a couple of hours. Allie knows she has to be careful of how she approaches Will. He is Judy’s friend and his perception of Judy’s relationship with her husband will be biased. It is unusual for Allie to doubt her clients when they talk about being abused by their spouses but something is making her question Judy’s story. Maybe it’s the fact that Judy hit on her that is causing her to feel this way. Whatever the reason, she needs to get to the bottom of it so that she can best represent Judy in the divorce.

Allie arrives at Starbucks early and of course, Nikki is there. Allie orders her coffee and Nikki tries to make small talk… unfortunately. “Where is your girlfriend?” Nikki asks with a hint of disgust at the word girlfriend. “Working, why?” Allie answers. “It’s been a while and I was wondering if you two love birds had broken up.” Nikki says. “No, we are doing really well....thanks for being concerned.” Allie says with sarcasm. “If you ever find yourself bored with her...you know where to find me.” Nikki says flirtatiously. “When are you going to get it Nikki? I am not interested in you. Never have been, never will be.” Allie says abruptly and walks away heading for a table in the front of the store. As she sits down, Allie checks her messages and sees two, one from Bea and one from that number again. Allie’s heart starts to pound. She opens the text. “You and your bitch girlfriend looked cozy on the boat this weekend.” Allie’s heart pounds wildly. How did they know about the boat? Have they been following me? Or even worse...Bea? Allie feels sick. Nikki walks past her and asks “how did your girlfriend like your birthday surprise?” Allie is now in full panic mode. Has it been Nikki sending her these messages? “How the fuck did you know about that?” Allie says, her voice loud enough to get other customer’s attention. She realizes she is drawing attention and asks again, her voice lower and more menacing. Nikki is thrown off guard by Allie’s reaction. “Why are you getting so angry?” Nikki asks, confused as to why Allie is so upset. “Answer the fucking question Nikki.” Allie’s hands are balled into fists. She doesn’t think she has ever been so angry. “I overheard you talking to your girlfriend’s daughter.” Nikki says innocently. Allie thinks back and remembers her and Debbie discussing the surprise she had in store for Bea here in the Starbucks. Her anger starts to subside and is embarrassed by her behavior. “Oh yeah, I’m uh...sorry for my outburst.” Allie says sheepishly. “I overreacted and I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’ve been.....under stress.” Allie felt terrible. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have eavesdropped.” Nikki said sincerely. “I feel like an ass.” Allie admits. “Please don’t. I have acted like an ass for months.....truce?” Nikki extends her hand out to Allie’s and she takes it. “Truce.” At that moment Will Jackson walks into the store.

“Are you Allie?” Will asks Allie seeing that Nikki is wearing a Starbucks apron and there are no other women in the store. Nikki smiles at Allie and heads back to the counter. Allie shifts her attention to the man standing in front of her. “Yes, it’s nice to meet you Will.” Allie says while extending her hand. “Can I get you something....coffee, pastry?” Allie says while they walk over to her table. “I can get it. I will be right back.” Will heads to the counter. Allie takes a moment to read the text from Bea. 

Bea: I hope you are having a good day. I am missing you like crazy.  
Allie: The day hasn’t been good but I am glad to hear from you. I miss you too.  
Bea: Why? What happened?  
Allie: I’ll explain later. I need to go. I love you!  
Bea; Ok. I love you too! xoxoxoxo

Will has his drink and sits down at the table. “You look upset. Is everything alright?” Will asks with concern. “Not really. I just received a threatening text and it isn’t the first one.” Allie frowned. “Who is it from, if I may ask?” Will takes a sip from his coffee. “I don’t know who it’s from. I don’t recognize the number.” Allie starts to panic again. “As you know, I’m a cop. I could try tracing the number for you.” Will offers. “I would really appreciate that. Thank you.” Allie says gratefully. “Let me call one of my buddies. May I have your phone?” Will holds out his hand. Allie gives it to him and he makes a call from his phone. After telling the friend the number to do the trace on, he hangs up. “When did the texts start?” Will asks. “A couple of weeks ago. At first I thought whoever sent it sent it to the wrong person but then they knew I had a girlfriend and then today they mentioned something that was personal.” Allie took the phone back and her hands were shaking. “Any idea who might be sending them?” Will asks. “I get threats occasionally from a client’s spouse. I figure it is one of them.” Allie says. Will takes another sip of his coffee. “It could be Judy’s husband” says Allie. “I wouldn’t put it past him. He’s a real piece of work.” Will says with a look of disgust. “Judy told me what he has been doing to her and I wondered what you know about him.” Allie says. “Well, Judy is really afraid of him. She has told me that he beats and humiliates her. She said he is very jealous and accuses her of sleeping with other men. Me included.” Will laughs without amusement. “Have you been around him?” Allie asks. “Yeah, several times.” Will answers. “How did he act?” Allie takes a sip of her now cold coffee. “Honestly? He was always really nice to her...even doting… but I believe Judy.” Will says not sure where Allie is going with this. “Have you ever seen physical evidence?” Allie asks knowing that she shouldn’t push it. The phone rings just as Will starts to answer. “Did you find anything?” Will asks his friend. After a moment he says “okay, thanks for checking buddy.” Will hangs up and looks at Allie. “The phone the texts are being sent from is a burner.” Will says regrettably. “If whoever it is starts making specific threats and you feel as if you are in danger, call the police. Other than that, I don’t know what more I can do to help. As far as your question, I did see evidence once. She had a cut lip and the side of her mouth was red as if she had been slapped pretty hard. Why are you asking me that any way? Do you not believe her?” Will asks starting to get annoyed. “It’s not that I don’t believe her but we have spoken several times about her husband and there are some inconsistencies. I just wanted an outside perspective. I am sorry if I have upset you Will.” Allie says feeling like an ass for even meeting with him. She just can’t stop the questions about Judy from rattling in her mind. “Allie, she needs help. If you don’t think you can do that then she needs to find someone who can. I really should go. I hope the texts stop and remember to go to the police if they escalate. It was nice meeting you.” Will says while getting up from the chair. Allie goes to stand up but Will gestures that she stays sitting and walks off. Allie feels like an ass.


	49. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note

I wanted to update you all on the status of chapter 49 or as now it is labeled as 50 because of the author's note. I apologize for the lack of updates for the past 3 weeks. As a lot of you know, I am having a battle with writer's block. I have also been preoccupied with my new girlfriend. She has been my focus lately and is coming to visit me for a month from overseas. She will be helping me push past through my block and hopefully I can get back on a roll updating every week. I want to thank you all for your patience and support. I hope that you do not lose interest in the story because there is a lot more to come. 

Until next time....take care of yourselves and don't leave your Ballie bubble.


	50. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finally found my mojo to write and am hoping my block has ended. I am really touched by the words of encouragement that I have received. Thank you for sticking with me.

Bea walks into the office and takes a seat while Margaret grabs her clipboard and pen and gets comfortable in her chair. 

“How have you been feeling since we talked last week?” 

“Good. I thought a lot about our talk and I realized that this is the best thing for me.” Bea smiles feeling confident.

“What’s ‘this’?” Margaret starts writing.

“Getting professional help, talking to you....It gives me hope.” Bea is curious as to what Margaret is writing. 

“Hope for what?”

“Hope for a better future. Hope that I will get Harry’s words out of my head. Hope that I can have a healthy and fulfilling relationship with Allie. Hope that I will continue to be happy.” Bea says without hesitation. “Hope is something really new to me. I lived without hope from since I can remember.” Bea frowns.

“Tell me more about that. When did you start to feel that there was no hope?” Margaret asks while settling further into her chair. Bea doesn’t say anything for a moment. 

“It started when I became aware that my father wasn’t going to stop terrorizing us, especially my mother. When I noticed that my friends had loving parents, I thought I was destined to live in fear. I could see that my mother had no hope although I didn’t quite know what it meant, I was so young. But as I grew older, I got it. When I met Harry, it confirmed my feeling that I was destined to be unhappy....” Bea laughs without humor. “Unhappy, what a weird word choice. I was beyond unhappy, I was terrorized.” Bea says with tears in her eyes. How could she be elated with hope one minute and feel like she is drowning from the memory that only a few months ago she was in mortal danger at the hands of her husband? 

“Where did you go Bea?” Margaret asks with concern. 

“I was thinking about how much has changed in only a few months. I feel like I am in a parallel universe waiting to wake up back in the hell I was in.” Bea says feeling a bit disoriented.

“Things are different now Bea. Your husband...former husband is gone and won’t be back to hurt you anymore. You are finally free and it is okay to have hope. The important thing to do now is to embrace your freedom and heal the damage that Harry caused you.”

Bea smiles weakly but feels encouraged by Margaret’s words. “How do I do that?” Bea asks.

“We talk and take the power away from Harry’s words and actions. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be lingering memories but we will work to make them distant memories. It will be a painful journey but worthwhile in the end. Are you ready to work hard? ” Bea nods and feels a glimmer of hope once again.

Bea arrives back at the house and Debbie is waiting for her on the couch. 

“How did your session go?” Debbie asks.   
Bea pauses, feeling rather raw, she isn’t up for discussing her session right away. Debbie senses that her mother isn’t up for talking about it. 

“If you don’t want to talk, I understand. I am here to listen if you need or want to talk.” Debbie says thoughtfully.

Bea smiles. “How did I get so lucky to have a daughter as wonderful as you?” Bea places her hand on Debbie’s. 

“I would say that you are a great mother but you wouldn’t believe me.” Debbie says tenderly. Changing the subject when she sees tears in her mother’s eyes, “I’m ready for lunch. What are you feeding me?” Debbie wiggles her eyebrows making Bea laugh and forget for the moment the heaviness she feels.

At lunch Bea and her daughter catch up with each other. They talk about Allie’s upcoming birthday and Bea expresses her nervousness about making Allie’s birthday special. 

“She’s going to love what you have planned for her mama. Please don’t worry. Besides, Allie would love it if you both just stared at a wall together. She just loves spending time with you.” Debbie says giggling. 

“You really think so?” Bea asks insecurely. 

“I know so. Now stop worrying.” Debbie says and suddenly gets shy.

“What?” Bea asks, curious as to the sudden change in Debbie’s demeanor. 

“I have a date tomorrow night.” Debbie admits. 

“Really? Who with?” Bea asks with excitement. Despite hating that her daughter has grown up so fast, she wants Debbie to finally have a normal life and part of that is to start dating. 

“Well, you know that guy Shane that Sky got upset with me because he was paying attention to me?” Debbie asks. 

“Yes, but you resolved that right?” Bea asks.

“Yes, she gave me the go ahead if I was interested in him. Well, he asked me out last night. We are going to a bonfire on the beach tomorrow night together.” Debbie looks really excited and nervous all at the same time. 

“That’s great baby! I am so happy for you.” Bea beamed. 

“Before you ask, he seems like a really good guy and I will be careful. If I see any red flags I will listen to.”

Bea suddenly is sad that Debbie feels she has to be so guarded. Had she only left Harry sooner.... As if sensing her mother’s guilt, Debbie tries to reassure her. 

“It’s not your fault mama, it was his fault so please don’t feel guilty.” Debbie insists. 

“Thank you.” Bea manages while trying not to cry. “I just want you to have a normal life where you don’t have to be suspicious of all men because your father hurt me.” 

“I don’t feel as if I am being suspicious, I am just keeping my eyes open. Besides, it’s not like I am marrying him or anything.” Debbie laughs at the idea.

“Well, I am glad you are going on a date and acting like a normal teenager.” Bea feels a sense of pride of how her daughter has turned out despite all that she has seen. 

After lunch Bea calls Allie to see if she will be seeing her tonight. She misses the blonde. Bea thinks about her session and despite the moment of insecurity, she does feel hopeful. Everything has been perfect with Allie and for the first time, she is not waiting for the other shoe to drop. Allie has been nothing but sweet and tender with her. It’s nothing that she has experienced before and she wants to hold on to that forever. Allie asks Bea to come to her house for the night, she has something to talk to her about. Bea agrees but feels a little apprehensive about what Allie wants to talk about. Bea knows that she just has to trust that it isn’t something bad.

Bea picks up a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine before she heads to Allie’s. She feels nervous. What does Allie have to talk to her about? Bea wonders if she has done something wrong. So much for trusting that what Allie wants to talk about isn’t bad. Bea knocks on the door and Allie opens it. 

“Hi beautiful.” Allie smiles and moves to allow Bea room to enter the cottage. Bea hands Allie the flowers and wine and notices something different in Allie’s smile.

“They’re lovely.” Allie smells the flowers. “You didn’t have to babe. What’s the occasion?” Allie walks through the door to her kitchen, Bea following her. 

“No occasion. I just wanted to get something beautiful for my girlfriend.” Bea is getting more concerned. Allie hasn’t even kissed her hello. She wonders what she may have done wrong.

Allie places the wine on the kitchen counter and puts the flowers in a vase. She turns around and notices that Bea is standing a little too far away for her liking. Walking up to Bea, Allie puts her arms around her girlfriend’s waist and leans in for a kiss. Bea kisses her back slowly, trying to convey her love for Allie. They part and Allie still looks off.

“Are you okay Allie? You seem a bit off tonight. Did I do something wrong?” Bea braces herself for what Allie might say.

Not wanting to make Bea any more nervous than she clearly is. “You definitely have not done anything wrong. Can we sit down? I need to tell you something.” Allie leads Bea to the edge of her bed. Allie is dreading telling Bea about the texts. She is especially worried about Bea’s reaction to the fact that Allie hasn’t told her about all of the them.

Allie tells her about the texts she didn’t mention before and then about the day’s events including her exchange with Nikki and Will. Allie braces herself for Bea’s reaction. Bea is quiet at first.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the other texts?” Bea says calmly.

“I didn’t want to worry you... I didn’t think there would be more. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Please forgive me.” Tears threaten Allie’s eyes.

They are both quiet for a while which causes Allie’s tears to fall. Why isn’t Bea saying something? Allie goes to place her hand on Bea’s but she moves it away. Allie’s heart falls. 

“If we are going to have a long term relationship...you can’t keep things from me. Especially when it may mean I am in danger. You had no right keeping this from me. How can I trust you if you do?” 

“You’re right Bea. I am so sorry. I will never keep anything from you again.” Allie says with a bit of desperation.

Bea is quiet again, “So you don’t think Nikki is behind it?”

“No, I don’t. She looked genuinely surprised when I confronted her.” Allie tries touching Bea again and this time Bea didn’t pull away.

“Do you think Jake or Judy’s behind it?” 

“I don’t know but I am going to find out if Judy is the culprit. I don’t trust her and she seems a little off. Her emotions seem to be all over the place. First she is afraid and then she hits on me. If it is her, she won’t think I suspect her. Do you think I should confront her?” Allie waits for Bea’s reaction.

“I don’t think so but I would keep an eye on her. When is the next time you will see her?” Bea hates the idea that Allie will have to be around Judy. She trusts Allie but doesn’t trust that Judy will keep her hands to herself. From what Allie tells her, Judy does seem to be unpredictable.

“We have a hearing in two weeks. I have to prep her the day before. I am not looking forward to it.” Allie feels bad that Bea is involved with the drama Judy is bringing. She worries that it will all be too much for Bea given what she has been through. At least she hasn’t freaked out or gotten really angry. 

“I guess we will just have to wait and see....So what’s for dinner?” Bea gets off the bed and walks over to the kitchen area.

“Are we alright Bea? I am really sorry and I don’t want this to come between us.” Allie looks at her girlfriend with a sadness that breaks Bea’s heart.

Bea walks back to where Allie is sitting. “Come here.” Bea holds out her arms. The idea of losing Allie outweighs her disappointment in Allie for keeping things from her. Allie stands up and walks into Bea’s outstretched arms. Allie is still emotional and the tears are still falling. Bea holds her tight and rubs her back.

“We are okay baby. Just promise me that you will talk to me if anything new happens. No matter how much you think you are protecting me. We are stronger together. Okay?” Bea can feel Allie nod against her shoulder. She pulls away gently and places a soft kiss on Allie’s lips. 

The kiss starts off tender but emotes all her feelings she has for Allie. When they finally break the kiss, Bea is looking at Allie with need. She takes Allie’s face in her hands and kisses her passionately. She wants to convey how much she loves her girlfriend. Bea places her hand on Allie’s face lightly and her fingers swipe her cheek, wiping away a remnant of her tears. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, beautiful.” Allie pushes a stray curl from Bea’s face. “So much.” Allie kisses Bea and places her hands onto the redhead’s ass. “I want to show you how much. Can I do that?”

Bea nods her head yes and kisses Allie again but this time with more urgency. Allie moves Bea so that the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed and gently pushes her girlfriend onto her back. Allie lays on top of the redhead, her leg in between Bea’s legs as she pulls Allie closer. They continue kissing for quite a while, both conveying how they feel about each other and how they are in no rush to progress things farther. The urgency for each other ebbs and flows until Allie moves her hand over Bea’s breast. She could feel Bea’s nipple become erect and moves her hand under Bea’s top, playing with her nipple over the fabric of her bra making Bea moan. Taking Allie’s hand, Bea squeezes her own breast with less gentility as Allie kisses her harder and their tongues mingle. Grabbing Allie’s ass with her other hand, she raises her hips into Allie’s, releasing a low moan at the pressure against her throbbing core. Bea wants Allie more than she ever has. “God, you turn me on so much.”

Allie smiles and encourages Bea to sit up so she can remove her shirt and bra. When the garments are discarded, Allie pushes Bea back down and focuses her attention on Bea’s nipples. She sucks and tugs on them until they are red and hard. Bea is enjoying the feeling of Allie’s hot mouth and pushes Allie’s head down, letting her know that she’s thoroughly enjoying the feeling. Allie moves up Bea’s body and kisses her neck and jaw line. When she reaches her mouth, Bea gives her a searing kiss while flipping them over. Both of Bea’s legs are between Allie’s causing the blonde to spread her legs and the contact is driving her crazy. She doesn’t want to rush things but she desperately wants to feel Bea’s mouth against her most sensitive area. Bea kisses and nibbles on Allie’s neck leaving a small mark.

“I want to take your shirt off.” Bea rasps. 

At this point Allie is willing to do anything the redhead asks. Allie sits up and Bea pulls off Allie’s shirt and removes her bra. Bea looks at her girlfriend’s breasts and stomach with a desire that makes Allie blush.

“You are so beautiful.” 

Allie smiles and pulls Bea back down and kisses her hungrily. Bea pays ample attention to Allie’s breasts and then moves her way down her stomach. Allie raises her torso into Bea’s mouth letting out a soft moan. “You drive me crazy Bea.” Bea responds with a hard, wet kiss. Her hand traveling over Allie’s jeans in between her legs to her core. She can feel the heat and moisture and she almost growls in approval. 

“Can I take your jeans off?” Bea’s fingers are in the loops of Allie’s jeans. Allie simply nods while biting her lip. Bea moves off of Allie onto her knees and she unbuttons the blonde’s jeans. Bea lowers the zipper and Allie lifts her hips in the air for Bea to pull off her pants, underwear and socks. She can see the wetness glisten between Allie’s legs and feels a throbbing between her own, her face and chest flushes. She wants Allie so much. Bea still wants to take her time. She can see that Allie is getting impatient wanting her girlfriend to touch her. Even though she wants to give Allie release, she slowly kisses up and down her legs. When she gets closer to Allie’s core she nibbles and licks the skin of her inner thighs. Allie is moaning and thrusting her core towards Bea’s mouth. Deciding to put her lover out of her misery, Bea kisses her mound and separates the folds with her tongue causing Allie to cry out. Bea lays flat on her stomach, pushes Allie’s legs so her knees are bent and gets comfortable. She is going to make Allie’s pleasure last. She slowly licks up and down outer lips, sucking on the folds. Allie’s hands are in Bea’s hair. Licking up and down her vulva, Bea enters Allie with her tongue. Allie moans loudly. Bea replaces her tongue with her index finger and feels Allie’s inner walls immediately close onto her finger. Inserting another finger, Bea moves in and out slowly. She is deliberately avoiding Allie’s clit for now wanting to make things last. “Bea, please...” Allie whimpers. Bea knows that Allie needs to feel release so she gives in and licks her clit lightly. All the while she moves her fingers in and out. Allie begins to gyrate her torso and pushes against Bea’s mouth. Bea sucks on her clit and moves her tongue up and down the hardened bud. Knowing that Allie is going to come soon, she increases her thrusts and sucks on Allie’s clit harder. Allie explodes. She let out louder, longer moan than Bea has heard from her before. The orgasm lasts for a long time and Allie is panting. The blonde starts to say something but it is incoherent. Bea moves up Allie’s body and drapes her arm across her stomach. It takes a little while for Allie to breathe normally. When she has recovered she kisses Bea tenderly, tasting herself on her girlfriend’s lips. 

“Oh my God. That was mind-blowing. I can hardly move. I felt that in my clit and vaginally. I have never experienced that before.” Allie feels a lump in her throat. She is overcome with so much love for the redhead. When sees tears in her lovers eyes Bea becomes just as emotional. 

“I can’t articulate how much I love you and what you mean me. I can only try and show you through every kiss and every touch how I feel about you.” Bea’s unshed tear slips down her face.

Allie wipes the tears that have fallen and cups her hands against Bea’s cheeks. “I feel how you love me with every glance, every gesture and every word you say to me. I have never felt so loved and safe with anyone else. I love you with every fiber of my being. I hope you know that.” Bea nods and cuddles into Allie’s side. 

“By the way, it was me that was going to show you how much I love you.” Allie giggles against the top of Bea’s red mane.

“We have all of the time in the world for you to show me, Alliecat.”


End file.
